• Member Since 31st Dec, 2012
  • offline last seen May 21st

serenity neko chan


There is a house abandoned near the Carousel Boutique, no pony has been in it nor has no pony came out the house. But why is there so much noise during the night. The Mane Six want to know what is up so they go and explore the house, they find something that they don't except what could it be?
English is my second language and have dyslexia so sorry for the bad grammar
Cover art is made by me. if its not up please look at http://animewinner.deviantart.com/art/Steampunk-Pony-411737767

Chapters (3)
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Comments ( 32 )

I'll give you a like for now. Jus' try to watch on your grammar. (i'll go over it if ya' want, too.Just gimme the go ahead, and i'll do it.)

really neat story, I'm not very good at constructive criticism but ill give a like

I like this, I hope to see more in the future :pinkiehappy:

I really like this story, something different from the things I am usually reading. I hope you'll keep that standard. And that's an awesome piece of art. I love the art style, kinda normal for Steampunk but very well made.

thank you I was really pleased on how she came out when I drew her. I have another story lined up to post just need to have more chapters on this and more time.

Comment posted by The Infinity Doctor deleted Feb 2nd, 2014

3881157 Trust me. Not just you are pleased with the outcome.

Also, do you still need a proof reader? I would like to give it a try, simply because I want to improve my english writing and reading and that would be kind of a good practice I believe.

Well if you are not busy thank you but I am a slow writer and I have my final major coming up so no writing for a while i think

3885089 I'm not too busy, not at all. And I can wait. Just send me a PM when you have something.

Use this please, it's really not appealing to read this wall of text and you can only improve the quality of the story by doing it.

3930226 If you find something wrong then please pm me about it, but so far I can see that I have followed the rules that you have showed me. Each speaker gets a new paragraph and I don't see a wall of text please tell me where is it?

Oh god, the grammar... It burns!!!
Still, this looks like an interesting story though! :D
Despite how hard it is to read at points I find it interesting.
Can't wait for the next chapter!

3930387 the grammar might burn but guess what English is not my first language and I have dyslexia. I'm more of a drawer then a writer

Think of looking for a pre-reader/editor for the story?

Cool, any ideas on who's it gonna be?
Because I can't wait to see what this story looks like when it's all polished up.
It's like a diamond in the rough, ready to sparkle.

3930544 no like my blog post has said I have no idea how to get on unlike my usual fiction site. So most likely anyone that wants to do it

I got a lot on my plate as it is but if you want I could take a shot at being your editor/proof reader though it might take time for me to do it.
Otherwise I think there was a group that was good a proof-reading/editing but they're short on staff so it would take a month to get it done and I think they only do it once...
So, do you want me to give you a hand?

3930610 if you want I don't want to be trouble and yea my friend told me about the group but it still confusing to do it I won't be updating soon since I have a lot of interviews soon

Alright, cool, I'll see if I can get started today or sometime soon.
Anyway, I know most people prefer exchanging stuff with Google.Docs but I prefer to just PM it.
Even though you'd have to manually put in the tabs and the spaces between paragraphs I'd rather not use my G.Doc account since it's for school use only.
When you want me to edit/proof read a chapter just PM it to me and I'll try to polish it up or make the words flow better.
Then I'll send it back for you to look over and check to see if everything is how you want it.

Sound good?

Sweet, just PM me the first chapter and I'll go through it and bring up any questions about anything concerning plot holes or words choices and such.

3931812 mmm ok but I'm busy for the next couple of weeks so feel free to just copy them and send them to me

Alright, I'll see what I can do.

hm... this is still... interesting. using magic through eyes... I've read only one other story in a similar fashion, and it was one where Scootaloo used her wings to manipulate magic, specifically teleportation magic. you have captured my interest once again.

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