Chapter 1
Princess Celestia lay down on her giant bed, stretching out and resting after the day's activities. She usually wasn't this worn out, although she usually didn't have as much stuff to do. Celestia had gotten tired of the same daily routine, so she planned on taking a break from her duties. The sun and moon would still be raised of course, but everything else would be put on hold unless there was an emergency.
A whole week without duties, Celestia thought, cherishing the idea. It was going to be a well needed break. Today, many ponies tried to cram visits and affairs that needed to be taken care of into a few hours, leaving the princess exhausted.
Celesta stretched out, yawning. After she raised the morning sun and set the moon, she got back into her bed. She quickly fell sleep again, but was suddenly awoken by a sharp knocking at her door.
Celestia groaned. If she didn't answer, surely they would go away? No, she respected her subjects enough to get up. Celestia hesitantly left her warm bed, and walked over to the door. Opening it, she started speaking.
"What is so urgent that you should..."
Nopony was there. Celestia took a deep breath, calming herself. Being a peaceful city, pranksters would occasionally sneak past the royal guards and, well, prank. She usually took it in stride, but this one got her out of bed during her first day of rest, which irritated her a little bit.
Shaking her head, the princess closed the door and headed towards her bed again. She lay down, and put her head on the pillow. Everything was silent. When rooms become silent, even quiet noises become much easier heard. This was no exception. A faint breathing noise came from behind the door. Celestia opened her eyes, and glanced at her door. This trickster was really persistent.
Celestia silently surrounded herself in a sound-proof sphere of magic, in case she accidentally made any noise. She got out of bed once again, and even though it was not necessary, tiptoed over to the door. She held still, and undid her sound spell.
Celestia's face was mere inches from the door, but not in the path of it's opening. She put on her best 'I am not impressed' face, and at the count of three, would make the door vanish, surprising anypony on the other side. The princess held back a giggle.
1... 2... 3!
POOF! The door dissipated, and Celestia gave the empty hallway a disapproving glare. "Huh?" Celestia muttered. She stuck her head out the doorway and looked down the hall, barren of any little foals. She still heard breathing however... Following the sound, Celestia looked to her other side against the hallway, and in the corner she spotted a small, tattered cardboard box.
Celestia walked over to the box, and peered down into it. She gasped. Inside, was a very small, sleeping filly. Why had somepony put this filly here? What monsters would abandon their very own child!
Celestia felt very sorry for this little filly, having lost her family. She lifted her out of the box, and examined her. The small foal's magenta coat was littered with dirt. Little leaves were entangled in her, well, tangled mane. She was very pretty, with a purple and pink striped mane and tail.
In the bottom of a box, Celestia noticed a wrinkled paper. She carried the sleeping foal to her bed, carefully setting her down and putting a blanket over her.
Going back for the note, Celestia prepared for the worst. What had her parents to say for abandoning their child!? She picked it up, and looked it over. On the front, was small letters. Celestia squinted. This pony had horrible hoofwriting, as if they weren't used to the concept. She looked closer. The note read, "Twilight"
Celestia looked back at the filly resting on her bed, now cuddled into the sheets for a little bit more warmth. How could a mother give up such a cute kid?
She turned the paper over, and on the back was a well draw out, colored... Heart. It looked as if the pony drawing it took a significant amount of time focusing on each line and stroke, carefully coloring small swirls around the edges. Celestia became worried. Had this pony any choice?
Celestia brushed her hoof on something she hadn't noticed before. Part of the paper was... Wrinkled, as if it was dampened by... Tears. The realization struck her. After a moment, she closed her eyes in silence, and added her own tears to the paper.
Celestia regained her composure and walked back into her room, closing the door silently. The little fil... Twilight, was probably having a dream right now. She was making funny faces, then smiling in her sleep.
Celestia thought for a moment. She would probably have to find Twilight a home soon... But where? Adoption was very rare. The ponies that were poor were usually helped out by others, who helped them get back on their feet. In the rare case that somepony was homeless, stayed homeless, and had a foal, other families were usually hesitant to adopt.
Distracted, Celestia sat on her bed... A little too quickly. It groaned under the sudden weight, causing Twilight to stir. Celestia held still, trying not to make any more noise, but it was too late. Twilight reached a hoof up to her face, and lightly rubbed her eyes. She then opened them, dazzling purple eyes greeting Celestia.
Twilight was surprised, and took cover under the blanket. Celestia sympathized. It was probably very scary to wake up somewhere you hadn't gone to sleep.
"It's okay Twilight." Celestia said, with a warm and almost loving tone.
Twi slowly peeked her head out from under the blanket, looking up in awe at Celestia's shimmering mane. She took a brave step forward, to get a better view of it.
Celestia smiled at the little filly poking her head from the covers. She giggled, and Twilight retreated under the sheets again. Celestia slowly lay down, a little bit away from the scared lump under the covers.
After a moment, Twilight trudged through the blankets, and stuck her head out another time. The two just looked at each other for a moment... Then, Twilight smiled. She seemed to calm down, and walked across the bed over to Celestia. Curious, the filly gently placed her hoof on the princess. Twi looked up, and smiled at Celestia, who had her own wide grin. Twilight lay down next to the princess, cuddling against her. Celestia could feel the warm little body next to her. Twi was probably still tired.
Yep, she just yawned.
Twilight woke up around 15 minutes later. She rubbed her eyes, then looked up. The sleeping sun goddess greeted her. She wiggled against Celestia's side, attempting to get up. One she was upright, Twilight began a journey over to Celestia's head, which proved much harder than she though. She wasn't used to walking on this fluffy blanket yet.
Twilight took a few small steps, then teetered to the side... She fell. The next attempt granted her 4 steps before she collapsed into the sheets again. Well, the third times the charm! Twilight got up again, and was determined to make this journey. She took on a serious expression, which was way cuter than she intended, but nopony was watching. She was determined to make this journey! Twilight marched past the mountains and Valleys of the blanket's folds, eventually coming face to face with the princess herself!
Twilight had done it! She proudly looked back to the spot she started, and smiled. Yep, two whole feet. However, now it was time to wake the princess. Twilight lightly poked Celestia, who offered no response. She then placed both her hooves on Celestia's cheek, and stretched it into a silly face. Still no response however... Hm... Twi sat back, thinking.
Don't worry, we all know that even at this age, Twilight, was still Twilight.
The filly turned around, and started swaying back and forth, her trail brushing against Celestia's noise. She then scrambled for cover behind one of the blanket's folds. She giggled to herself, and waited... Nothing happened. Maybe she didn't do it right? Twilight hesitantly peeked up and over her shield, and saw the sleeping Celestia, unfazed.
Twi left the safety of the blanket, and cautiously snuck back towards Celestia. This time worked like a charm! Twilight dove under the covers as soon as she heard the sharp intake of breath right before a sneeze come from Celestia. Then like a bomb going off, it happened.
Celestia sneezed!
Twilight tried to hide, but her giggling betrayed her. Celestia snatched up the covers, surprising the filly.
"Twilight! You silly filly. Well I'm up now. Want a bath? Your dirty."
Twilight only babbled out nonsense in response, not a care in the world. Celestia smiled, and got out of her bed, heading towards the bathroom.
"Come on Twi!"
Twilight struggled to walk across the blankets, and Celestia just chuckled and helped her across the bed, setting her down on the floor.
Aaah, Twilight was much better at walking on this kind of ground. She trotted with ease after Celestia towards the bathroom. When in there, Celestia started the bath tub and made sure it was the right temperate. Meanwhile, Twilight was investigating the air vent, occasionally blowing air back at it. She rubbed up against it, feeling the warm air against her coat.
Celestia lightly blew on Twilight, who got confused and glared at the air vent, thinking it had gotten her from a different direction. She then noticed Celestia, and understood. Twilight came to the edge of the tub, and Celestia lifted her in, gently placing the filly into the shallow water. Twilight looked puzzled for a moment. She dragged her hoof though the water, watching as it ripped. Celestia placed her own hoof in the water also, pushing some of the water around. Tiny waves struck against the curios filly.
The serenity didn't last long however. Twilight momentarily stood on her hind legs, then with a squeal of delight, brought her hooves back down into the water. Before she could react, Celestia was drenched.
Twilight braced herself against the grain of the wood floor, staring down her rival. She growled, then began to focus harder than she ever had before. This was the time. She strained extremely hard, and in result, got a, slight headache. That wouldn't stop her. She could do this! Twilight focused even harder, until a few sizzling traces of magic left her horn, and... The paper moved!!!
Celestia smiled down at the filly that was attempting to turn the pages of a book. She couldn't read of course, but she seemed to have fun flipping through it. Actually, it was quite impressive that she could turn a page with her magic at that age. The magic is strong with this one.
Twilight jumped up and galloped around Celestia's room, doing a victory dance. Celestia giggled and levitated Twilight off the floor. At first she was shocked, but then she laughed in delight as she slowly spun mid-air. Celestia winked at the filly, and set her down next to her on the bed. Twilight looked up at Celestia with admiring eyes.
It was just too cute. Right then and there, Celestia made a decision. Celestia nuzzled the little foal lightly. "Twilight, I'll find a home for you after my week's break, but until then, you can be my little pony."
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can you make more chapters for this story so we can see Twilight grow up and who ever is her new family and with Slice of Life in it
I'm thinking this needs to be tagged alternative universe since it's well established in the show cannon that Twilight has a family.
Other then that this is very cute. Filly Twilight is indeed best filly.
I have i one shot you should write,
Its about a changeling whose best friend,
Fred the muffin,
Is stolen by derpy and is about to be eaten,
Can mr changeling sneak into pony ville,
Find and rescue fred before he is eaten,
While avoiding the many dangerous ponies that live in town?
3406828 He only does one shots I'm afraid.
3406871 ok
3406875 Feel free to make your own expansion of this. Just give this guy credit.
3406871
Looks like someone didn't read the author's notes
3406892 i don't want to
3406896 was it me
3406828
I could do that possibly. It'd make for a good storyline. Ill think about it
3406912 ok
Awww, adorable
Really, it is very adorable. Sometimes, the mood gets taken out a bit by direct comments to the reader, but that is a lesser flaw. Overall, the story conveys a sweetness and yet holds open any followup for the next chapters
-> Write, you fool (Much better)
Yep, I am looking forward to what is going to come next as chapter 2 is just another number, isn't it?
Just take us into the lands of sweetness and delight once more, if you please
You see what I did there with only using Twilight smileys?
Do a one shot where Twilight gets sick (very sick) and Celestia freaks out and gets super depressed and spends all her time with twilight(hardcore run-on sentence)and it turns out twilight wasn't deathly ill at all. Feel free to change it up as you please.
3406998
I would actually like to see the inverse of that. Celestia gets ill and Twilight spends all her time trying to make her feel better. There would also be some space for some feels from Luna's side.
3406912
Thank you for the great fic I look forward to reading more.
I've made up my mind: Yes, I will extend this story. Thank you all for your support! Seeing all the positive feedback made me happy, and inspired me to continue with this story.
3406845
I never said she didn't... Or rather wouldn't. ~ hint hint~
3407154 yay
and yes Twilight is cute 
Hnnnnnnnrr, heart attack!
3407470
AAAH! Are you ok?
I won't be until I get more chapters... 3407499
3407531
Yes sir/ma'am!
I've actually already started 2
I ish Sir, though even if I used my real name, Tyler, people would still be confused on my gender
3407549
3407553
Ah. I didn't want to accidentally offend you
That exploding noise you just heard was my heart
Though I should be able to revive myself for chapter two
I just realized....THIS IS MY LITTLE DASHIE IN EQUESTRIA AND WITH TWILIGHT
Hmm...I shall be waiting for the next chapter...
3409138
Sorta. That wasn't the original inspiration, but when I was writing it, I realized it reminded me a lot of MLD.
Can't...hold in...must resist!
*Sees filly Twilight*
Aww, what the heck! D'AAAAAWWWWWWWW
3409200
As will I.
3409735
Ohmygoshohmygoshohmygosh!!
That is soooo cute!!
Well I'll be watching this to see if enough cute can be created to break my stern face.
Hasn't happened yet, but I have hope for you.
3410273
Challenge accepted!
nice star wars reference by the way.
when will chapter 2 come out
3413168
Maybe Wednesday, but no promises.
I have to put together a presentation for school so I'm going to be a bit busy. Ugh.
3413332 ok
So cute I wish Celestia can keep her.
3413794
Yeah, I tried talking to her about it but she's too busy. No worries though, it won't get any less cute!
I like the idea, but I do see some problems with it at the moment.
Let's start with the technical stuff: You should proof-read/edit your work more thoroughly. Right now, it contains mistakes that are easily avoidable (stuff like your/you're). Correct usage of commas seems to be a problem, too, even though I'll readily admit that my sense for correct comma placement in the English language may be off, so I'd advise you to get a second opinion on it. I would also suggest to use monikers like "Twi" only in speech and not in your text. Lastly, exclamation marks are no pack animals.
So much for technical problems, let us talk a bit about content. First at all, your portrayal of Celestia appears very strange to me in the sense that she is much to casual in my eyes, which is especially visible in her way of speech. Celestia, as protrayed in the show, seems to be very formal in it--I cannot image her speaking like this:
Don't take me wrong: I have no problem with a less formal Celestia in the privacy of her own rooms, but this does seem to be a stretch. After a thousand years (give or take a few centuries), her somewhat "regal" speech patterns are probably deeply ingrained.
Staying with Celestia, she is taking this event much too casual. Somepony put a filly (or foal? Giving Twilight's approximate age might help clear up any confusion I currently have about this) in front of her door (in the middle of the castle, nonetheless!) and vanished--and Celestia gets back to sleep? While I understand her taking the filly into her bed, laying down to have a nap beside her does not appear to be logical or reasonable to me. I'd have expected her to call for servants/guards in order to investigate the situation, intercept possible parents at the castle doors (after all, they just placed her there a few minutes ago and might not even have had the time to leave the castle yet) or do something else. Right now, she pretty much found a lost filly, shrugged it off like an everyday event and got back to sleep (after explicitly stating her pity for the parents--one might wonder why she does not act upon it, it's not as if she couldn't).
Anyway, the point is: let her do something about it. Cuddling with Filly!Twilight might be nice, but pretty much incomprehensible in the given situation.
Which brings me to Twilight. I have problems to determine her approximate age. From some of your descriptions, she seems to be a reasonable far developed young filly (like when she is trying to wake/play with Celestia or when she's using magic of all things), from others she seems to be a small foal, probably not even born too long ago. As one might expect, both possibilities are pretty much exclusive, which makes sections written in one protrayal clash horribly with ones written in the other. For example, if Twilight is pretty much an almost newborn foal, using magic would pretty much be a no-go (unless the Cake twins are the rule for newborns) and her somewhat intelligent approach of waking Celestia is far too complicated for such a young pony. On the other hand, if she is a bit older, I cannot see her not breaking down due to the simple fact that her parents are gone while she's in entirely foreign surroundings. Think of little children losing their parents in the mall--they usually do not take it as good as Twilight does here. Although, this might be explained as a temporary situation--Twilight could still think her parents could return any moment and might have her breakdown a bit later.
To sum things up: I like the idea and Filly!Twilight/Momlestia is cute as always, but right now, the writing has some lightly annoying technical issues and a bunch of content-related problems that should be addressed ASAP.
3415852
Noted, and will apply. Thank you for taking the time to say all that
th02.deviantart.net/fs30/300W/f/2008/130/d/e/Join_the_dark_side_for_free_by_astronok.jpg
I want Celestia to keep her, this is too cute, favoriting.
I must read on.
Celestia should so keep her she would be a great mom.
I... cant... Handle... The... Cuteness.... ARGHH
Adopt her celestia, damn it! She's too cute
Filly Twilight is best Twilight.
I almost died of cuteness with this one, and this is just the first chapter!! Also, It's sad that a mother had to give away her foal, or filly, or whatever you want to call it, so here is sad/happy/proud Pinkie and sad Flutters. 
Celestia, just keep Twilight!
Um, no
Is it just me, or is anyone else reminded of
when Celestia thinks the magic is strong with this one?
I like the story here, its nice.
Some things I noticed that you could do better though, when writing numbers less than twenty write the word out rather than just typing '20' it's not that hard, and it helps a lot. Generally though, you shouldn't even need the numbers because they're dead weight that isn't really useful to the story and breaks immersion.
ex. original: "Twilight woke up around 15 minutes later."
number written "Twilight woke up around fifteen minutes later."
Best: "Twilight woke up some time later."
original: "The next attempt granted her 4 steps before she collapsed into the sheets again."
better: "The next attempt granted her a few more shaky steps before she collapsed into the sheets again."
Sometimes though numbers work, for example:
"Yep, two whole feet."
Thing 2:
Avoid telling your audience what's happening directly. It detaches the reader from the characters point of view, and again, breaks immersion. Of course sometimes that's exactly what you want. Like describing something you want everyone to react with disbelief.
ex.
"Celestia lightly blew on Twilight,"
would be something like
"Twilight scrunched up her nose as Celestia blew on her face"
Sorry for the big long post, but I try not to criticize without giving a solution. Also, if you change anything because of this, do not just copy these examples, they suck. Use the idea they represent, but come up with something good.
the cuteness is strong with this one
