1. The prose in this is as purple as Twilight.
2. Therefore, along with the format, it is wonderfully difficult to take it seriously.
3. I think you just temporarily affected the way I talk.

Too ridiculous not to like. I shall have to steal these terms and create a world in which they really do represent the correct terminology for the corresponding body parts.

3409726
Excellent. My plans went perfectly, then.

Hey cool.

You finally released it.

~Skeeter The Lurker

3409970
If you're still confused, there's actually a hint in the "foreplay" section of the paper; as this story was originally written, the paper was originally first, but people seemed to find the paper dry and the story stood without actually having to read the paper, so I reversed the order. But it was intentionally inserted in there as a hint that not quite everything was what it seemed.

And yes, poor Fluttershy. She never asked for this.

3410133
Just being silly. Originally it was just going to be Twilight, but then I realized it would be funnier if it wasn't, but everyone assumed that it was. Not that it makes her any less of a pervert. Really it probably makes her worse, for watching.

I was already a fan of the image, but this just adds another level of amusement to it.

Cockamamie.

3410146 well you done goofed cuz now I wanna know how pinkie ascended! ;)

This will be read, but not today.

Disclaimer: I fully understand this was supposed to be silly.

My problem with the joke is that I have a hard time believing that Twilight's knowledge of anatomy is so poor that she would submit this research paper with these terms. Sure it's funny to call "wings" flipper-flappers, but this is Twilight. A "tail" a "parasprite whip" ? Even if her anatomical knowledge was somehow that ridiculously stunted, I would still expect her to research and confirm the terms with additional sources.

As for the whole Pinkicorn twist, I don't honestly think it adds anything. If there was supposed to be some additional joke involved by adding that twist, I failed to get it.

Going into the report knowing it was Pinkie as the alicorn due to ch1, I couldn't quite accept the imagery. I realize the details were sanitized a bit by Twilight, but the included details seemed fairly non-Pinkie. In particular her being very bashful about the whole thing threw it off quite a bit. Add in that Pinkie apparently came up with all the terms to use, tells me that she seemed fairly enthusiastic and "bouncy" about it. So there is some problems with the immersion there.

You pulled off silly, but didn't do a good job of making it convincing. When you see two clowns throwing pies in each others' face, it's convincing because you have no reason to doubt anything going on. There is no mystery or drama, it's two people dressed in an absurd way doing something absurd. In your story we have a semi-mystery of identity, and we're somehow expected to believe that this "prank" was so successfully pulled on Twilight that she went ahead and submitted her research to a supposedly reputable academic institution. Getting her to submit it to Playmare was funny. The FFFUCK line was funny. But the basic premise of the terminology just fell flat to me.

3410509
Yeah, it is kind of a silly premise. Admittedly I struggled with whether or not it was funnier with the terminology or not. I decided to roll with it because, well, yeah, it is silly, but well, the story is silly to begin with.

As for the Pinkiecorn thing... I suppose part of it was just me wanting to subvert the audience's expectation. Twilight wrote an article about a pegasus and alicorn banging, and the obvious conclusion was that it was Twilight herself. The paper actually included a hint that it was Pinkie, but rearranging the story so the paper came second might have decreased the value of the reveal because the story is shorter and there's less time to build up the idea of Twilight doing those things.

3410640
I'm just sad I didn't come up with the Center for Legitimate Observation of Pony Sexuality until now.

And I do appreciate the feedback from both of you. I do think it is probably rather out of character for Twilight to get suckered into it. I actually had an idea of how they did it - it was part of the "official grant" that Twilight was given, to make it seem more legitimate - but I couldn't figure out any way to put it into the story proper, so it just went unexplained. Would Twilight fall for it? Well, I wouldn't expect her to, but she does miss the obvious sometimes (and her friends weren't sure she would fall for it either).

But as for the randomness? Yes, it is very random. And silly. I blame seeing the chart. And if no other bold soul was willing to write it, why not I?

In the end, though, I just hope that you did not feel your time was wasted, as that is the worst trespass for a writer.

I probably won't write something like this again for a long time. But then, I've got three more traditional stories lined up - Shotgun Wedding is still ongoing, The Best is a slice of life story that is getting there, and Daring Do x Rosetta Stone OTP is a shipping story, and hopefully all three will be done by the end of November. And let's face it - neither this nor Shotgun Wedding were planned to be things I was going to write. They just kind of... happened.

I couldn't make it through the second chapter. I'm sure its very well written but the terminology kept throwing me off

I laughed too hard to read this.

This was precisely as silly as I was hoping it would be. I am pleased. Good show.

3410700

Unplanned shotgun wedding you say?

Argh

This is... uncloppably funny

>my face upon seeing the title

Humorous, faved for need of a good chuckle every now and then. Good work.

They should have sent a poet.... Well done!

Welp, this is a thing. A hilarious thing.

3413092 3416281 3516566
I did my best to make it as ridiculous as possible.

3418077
I had not seen that song before but it amuses me.

Whiffermuzzle is my new favourite word.

3418077 we'll... I learned a lot
And this story... I face hoofed (damnit, palmed) several times and burst out laughing... I will have to do a dramatic reading of this someday

Science (and research) is sexual

3409726 #3 quite possibly

With the names redacted, I have no idea who these ponies are.

I am quite literally unable to read past the first few paragraphs, due to the sheer amount of "WAT" going through my brain right now. Bookmarking for later.

This is the sort of groundbreaking research that we need to be funding. Why is it so difficult for the Equestrian government to fund such clearly necessary fundamental research? I do question the small sample size, and would like to call to attention the need for a pony of each type for comparative analysis. Of course as Mrs. Sparkle has observed in the past, case studies are dubious at best and have no statistical significance.

I propose that in the future impartial observers attend the experiment so that they can make firsthand observations independent of the bias of the participants, as well as to take measurements and readings. Perhaps a professional visual and audio recording could also be made so that interested researchers could conduct analysis at length at their own leisure.

5448244
More observation is, of course, required, but unfortunately all requests for further data in regards to this experiment or any future ones have been declined by the researcher, despite generous promises of grant money. Attempts have been made to get directly in contact with the pegasus subject regarding other possible experiences since the writing of the paper, but she has yet to respond to our requests for additional data.

5448244 A pony of each type? A proper sample size should probably include at least two or three of each. Finding additional Alicorn volunteers may prove difficult, though..

5518141

I agree. A full blown comparative study with multiple participants and appropriate controls is called for as well as additional trials and observations to eliminate confounding variables. I wonder if the author of this paper would volunteer to conduct additional field research. Perhaps with a randomized set of volunteers of both genders in various combinations.

Why can’t we do a study on Pegasi-Alicorn cuddles? I’m sure Fluttershy would approve of it.

9202144
I'm sure she would! But I suspect salacious magazines would be less likely to publish that.