The Griffon

by Kaf_Kraked_Poni

Don't Force It...

The Griffon, one of the most well-known bounty hunters in his country has come to Equestria in search of… something. You know, he’s not really sure, but what he is sure of is that since his time in equine country, he’s managed to piss off all of the right ponies and only get himself in deep trouble. Another beautiful sun shines over Equestria, albeit a little hotter than usual. The Griffon and his young apprentice who dubs himself as, the Blue Colt now must face one of the most challenging aspects of their adventure together… their short tempers on a blistering hot day.

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“Come on, you stupid cock, give me some ice cream,” the young colt moaned as he and his mentor passed by another bloated sherbert stand.

“I don’t have any money,” the Griffon replied, slowly walking along the sidewalk of the crowded Manehattan streets. He shoved a stallion out of the way, growling at him after the pony tried to retaliate.

“What happened to all that cash we got for taking down… oh, what’s his name?” The Blue Colt stepped on another individual that the Griffon had just pulled to the floor.

“We paid for food, and the hotel that we stayed at. Then, you dropped the rest into the sewers while we were being chased by the cops,” the Griffon said, glaring at the small pony behind him.

“You said, ‘We gotta loose the pig,’ so how was I supposed to know you meant the cops, and not the money?!”

“Only an idiot child would put five-hundred bits into a piggy bank.” The Griffon knocked into a mare, causing her to fall into the flower stand she was standing over.

“Well, I’m your idiot child,” the colt said, looking up the mare’s skirt. The Griffon grabbed him by his mane and tossed the child across the street. He flew over several carriage taxis and crashed into a crowd waiting to cross the road.

“I never consented to you following me! Your mother still has a price on my head!” The Blue Colt struggled out of the prison that was a mass of fallen bodies. He landed on the sidewalk, staring at the Griffon and blowing steam out of his nose.

“Well then, how about I collect the reward on your head and buy my ice cream with that,” he shouted, catching the eyes of every pedestrian on this particular street.

“Go ahead and try,” the Griffon yelled back. “I’ve been wanting to give you a beating for a while now… Give me a reason to!”

“Uh, excuse me sir, I think you need to calm down,” a grey coated stallion said, placing his forehoof over the Griffon’s shoulder.

“Son, where is your mother, why are you playing with that nasty griffon?” a sweet sounding mare asked the earth colt.

“Leave me alone…” the Griffon shouted, grabbing the stallion’s foreleg and swinging him into the air.

“...and mind your own damn business!” the Blue Colt cried, performing a grapple of his own on the mare.

Both idiots brought their victims into the air and chucked them at each other. The ponies screamed as they went flying, smashing into each other in the middle of the road and falling unconscious on the street.

“I’m tired of your constant whining and you following me around!” the Griffon screeched.

“I’m sick of you being a cock all the time!” the Blue Colt brayed in response.

“And I’m sick of you two disrupting the peace in my city,” a deep voice called from above. Both parties looked up and saw a figure couching over the edge of a building. The stallion, garbed in odd orange spandex and sporting a red cape hopped from his perch and landed perfectly on the road, without so much as disturbing a pebble.

“Who the hell are you?” the Griffon asked.

“No way! You’re the Plowin’ Stallion!” the Blue Colt shouted.

“Is he a porn star?”

“No, you stupid cock!” the Blue Colt yelled. “He’s one of the Super Six! Manehattan’s elite team of super ponies!”

“That is correct!” the… heh heh, Plowin’ Stallion shouted, striking a pose.

“He’s a porn star,” the Griffon sighed.

“Mr. Stallion!” the elated cries of joy exploded from all around the city, mostly of mares. The Griffon merely nodded and pointed to the earth stallion in the middle of the road, mouthing something to the Blue Colt.

“He’s a baguette?” he asked aloud, trying to decipher the Griffon’s beak movements.

“Now the, unruly griffon and equally unruly colt,” the Plowin’ Stallion called, grabbing the attention of our two heroes. “I’m afraid such disturbance will be handled accordingly, starting with my request to ask that you cease your delinquent activities!”

“Man, it’s too hot to deal with this right now,” the Griffon growled. “I’m going to teach that boy a lesson over there, so stand aside. I’ll kick your ass later.”

“Come and get it!” the Blue Colt snorted. As the Griffon lifted off, he suddenly found himself blocked by the oppressive stallion in the brightly colored orange spandex. Honestly, it clashed with his brown coat, but that wasn’t the only thing that would be clashing right now.

“I said, stop! In the name of jus-” the Griffon interrupted the pony, smashing his fist into the stallion’s left cheek. The Plowin’ Stallion slid across the asphalt, crashing into an oncoming carriage as he entered the intersection.

“Now that he’s out of the way,” the Griffon growled, furrowing his brow towards the Blue Colt.

“I’m going to beat you up, and make you buy me an ice cream cone!” the Colt shouted, charging across the crosswalk.

“It’s not even ice cream, it’s sherbet, you stupid foal!” the Griffon yelled, swooping in on his wings.

Both parties prepared a strike, launching their respective attacks simultaneously. However, a forceful blur collided into them, knocking both off balance and subduing them onto the floor. A flaming trail of burnt cinders segregated the Colt and the Griffon, a heavily breathing figure looming over them as the source of the skid marks.

“How dare you strike a member of justice!” The Plowin’ Stallion roared. “For your actions, I decree that you be forcefully punished!”

“I don’t swing that way,” the Griffon tried to say, but was launched into the sky by a brutal uppercut. The Stallion leapt into the air, soaring higher than the Griffon. He held out his left hindhoof, allowing gravity to take care of the rest. The Griffon’s face collided with a powerful stomp, and he plummeted to the ground.

“Ooh dang, you got served,” the Blue Colt chuckled.

“I let him hit me,” the Griffon groaned. Plowin’ Stallion landed in front of the Griffon and lifted his body up high.

“Forceful Stomp!”

“Thanks,” the Griffon managed to say before pushing out of the stomp with his wings. He sprung off of the ground and glided over to the Stallion, talons extended and whipping about in a flurry of slashes. The Stallion raised his forelegs, however the successive strikes from his opponent dug at his skin, tearing up the neatly fashioned spandex over his pristine coat.

“Stop!” the Stallion shouted, smashing his forehead into the Griffon’s.

“Ah! Damn it, that hurts,” he shrieked, clutching his face.

“Now you’ll know why I’m called the Plowin’ Stallion!” the pony snorted, leaping away from the Griffon. He dug his hindhooves into the asphalt, increasing the tension in his squatted haunches. “Penetrating Burst!” The Stallion exploded forward, launching off of the road and straight at the Griffon.

“Move, you dumb cock!” the Blue Colt shouted. The Griffon flew into the air, finally removing his claws from his face. The Plowin’ Stallion sped right under him and crashed into the printing shop on the other side of the road. The whole building shook from the impact, tumbling over and scattering ponies everywhere.

“What was that?”

“That’s his signature move! The Penetrating Burst! It has enough force to rip through anything that comes in contact with it,” the Blue Colt replied.

“What a stupid attack,” the Griffon scoffed. “He does realize he’s fighting a griffon, right?”

“You dummy, he can perform the attack in the air too! As long as he’s got a springboard to launch off of!”

“Springboard?” the Griffon asked, turning around. The Plowin’ Stallion stood on top of the building next to the ruined printer shop. Within seconds he had primed his jump. “Sonofa-”

“Penetrating Burst!”

The Stallion rocketed towards the Griffon again, obliterating the launch pad he had just fired himself from. The Griffon dodged the attack again, though this time the move had come quite close to striking him.

“Falling action, it’s my turn now,” he said, zooming over to the decelerating pony in the air.

“You will not win, obstructor of the peace!” the stallion cried. “I am the Plowin’ Stallion, member of the Super Six, destroyer of you!”

“You know, your name doesn’t even rhyme,” the Griffon remarked.

“I-it doesn’t?”

“Not in the slightest,” the Griffon replied. He flew closer now, locking the pony in a full nelson and rising into the air. The Stallion struggled, squirming about wildly and thrashing his head back and forth. The Griffon maintained course and held his grip, rising higher and higher into the air. They broke the cloud barrier and continued to ascend.

“You fool,” the Stallion chuckled. “I’m the-”

“I know who you are, oh my deity would you just stop!”

“I can withstand the impact of any force! No matter how hard I land, I won’t be affected!”

“Thanks for the tip,” the Griffon replied, pulling back on the stallion. He increased his wingbeats, and adjusted his course, performing one loop after another in the air.

“What… are… you… Urgh…” the Stallion moaned, holding back a swell of matter in his throat.

“If you can withstand the impact, then there’s no point in trying to win by beating you senseless,” the Griffon said. “So instead, I’ll make you kill yourself. You’ll be so sick from the motion and altitude sickness, you won’t be able to fight!”

“Please… stop…” the stallion burped.

“Whatever you say,” the Griffon replied, finishing his last loop.

He began spiraling downwards, descending from the atmosphere at an alarming rate. The Griffon increased his velocity so much so that a trail of smoke began to plume from behind. Manehattan came back into view and the Griffon unlocked his arms, firing the Plowin’ Stallion from the air. The pony impacted with the ground, drilling into the earth a little before coming to a complete stop.

“Oh yeah! That’s my master!” the Blue Colt cheered, jumping up and down the sidewalk.

The Plowin’ Stallion lay still in the small crater, smoke rolling off of his back. He moaned into the dirt and lifted his face off of the ground, staring at the horrified faces of the onlookers.

“Do not abandon me, citizens of Manehattan,” he moaned, bringing his hooves up to his mouth. The pony leaned over and retched all over the road. Everypony groaned, turning away or adding to the mess themselves. As the Stallion released his last surge of stomach contents, the Griffon landed next to the Blue Colt, who had embraced him in a gleeful clasp.

“You’re awesome,” the colt said.

“You’re still dead,” the Griffon replied. “By the way, he let some of it out on our way down.”

“Eww, you got vomit on my coat!” the colt cried, releasing the hold on his master.

“Regardless, I think it’s about time we disappear. I’d rather not meet Celestia again,” the Griffon said, pushing the colt along.

“The heat is making my sweat mix with it!”

“Stop complaining, I’ll get you an ice cream…”

Comments

[Kaf_Kraked_Poni]

3859413
It can wait. Lol