Goddammit, this chapter was amazing. Sappy, very sappy (a good kind of sappy), sexy (an even better kind of sexy), great on the characterization and with the kind of comedy I like in the show. The mental images of an adorable Dash curled up on top of Twilight and all six of them snuggled up in one bed together will be staying with me for a while.
All those feels, man, all those feels. Apart from the probably intended present tense of "Celestia knows" I only found one thing in the second to last paragraph: >hasn't many anything less beautiful
I have a hunch what the next chapter is going to be about, in case you have the story planned in any way, but it could just be a self-contained theme in this chapter. In any case, I'll eagerly await whatever you have in stock next.
And no, not many of the themes in this chapter are self-contained, but there may not necessarily be direct continuations to all of them next chapter. I know where I'm going, but not each individual step.
462287 If I can keep you (crazy! These horses are hot!) non-clop guys happy with my saccharine feels, then that makes me one happy writefag, thank you!
Wonderful, this is becoming a better story by the chapter!
I do have a.... question?:
The next several minutes were uncomfortable for everypony present, and left Pinkie Pie tied up on the basket floor, and Applejack blushing profusely. Twilight and Rarity knew better than to ask what that was really all about.
464894 So does everyone else, but it just seemed too awkward to ask at the time, and bringing it up now? I don't think any of them want to do that. time will tell
Twilightlicious, Rainbowlicious and dawwilicious all at once!
As to Twilight's concern, I feel that she was correct in pushing Dash to go for the try outs. Dash may only be in the Reserves but if she waited another year, those Reserves would have been filled with other ponies, forcing her farther and farther away from one of her life's main objectives. That won't happen now, thanks to Twilight.
Rainbow Dash and Twilight are absolutely adorable in this story. I eagerly await more!
504449 Twilight was intentionally meant to be flustered in ch2, iirc, she had a report that needed finishing ASAP. You're right on the trophies, though, she should have had some - my bad.
As for Twilight's magic, she is a swiss army knife, effectively - her special talent, canonically, is magic itself, and she's been shown learning a lot of very varied different spells. In this case specifically, though, do bear in mind WBHW is set several years after the show, and both Dash and Twilight are very much still in training and education. It wouldn't make sense for them not to be more capable than they are in the show in that context.
Thanks for the feedback! I look forward to hearing what you think of the other chapters, and I hope you're enjoying it!
505498 Mm, I've always liked the idea of them being able to do things a little more "out there" than just straight up regular old sex - that, and horns and wings are some of my favourite parts of their body. Thanks for the feedback!
504499 (When will I learn to not be sleep deprived and comment? xD) I think I referred to something else with the partial OOC or whatever, but I kinda forgot heh. And yeah, she ought to have some trophies and medals, some "wonderbolt collection" of autographs and etc. And would have been funny with a "lonely nights" possession as well xP (although, wings seems close to equally efficient.)
And I know, I know, she is an army knife :P Some things, like a brush, seems kinda hard to do though, but eh, "It's magic, ain't gotta explain shit" works there hehe. So it's nothing I'd see as unlikely, it just seems like that kind of "I could learn how to use this super complicated thing... or use a brush... *goes off to practice*" I have to admit though, it fits Twilight to an extent She is that "" like sometimes.
And glad you enjoy my semi-random rambling heh. Have to say I've semi-expected you to do female ejaculation at some point. Not to sure why though, heh. (Also, comments are a bit off, since my DNS server is bucking up for no good reason, please excuse that.)
506873 Hehe, yeah. I personally quite like SleeplessBrony's take on them. (even if I personally am not that fond of magicgasms, since it just adds yet another extra perk/trait about being a unicorn to the existing pile of them xP) Which is basically unicorns can get off with their horns, not as strongly as their genitals, but they got feeling in it and whatnot. Pegasi can get off with their wings, leans more towards the "mental orgasm" some girls can have by ex: just having their breasts touched and etc. And earth ponies have more sensitive ears and cutie marks (althou all 3 of them have sensitive cutie marks. Ears were mainly added to not just leave them hanging.) They also have allot more stamina than the other two. But as said, ears and enhanced cutie marks were added so to not screw them over if not with another EP. (Ie: "I make up for lack of ability to get extra pleasure by being able to have more orgasms in a row, which doesn't help at all since my pegasus/unicorn partner is spent after just 1-2...")
507181 Yeah, that's basically how I see Twilight. She could use a brush, or she could get more practice in - and that sort of advanced telekinesis is a pretty generic skill anyway, it wouldn't all be from brushing.
And yeah, I very much like the idea of different races tending to have different preferences, though there's not much room to explore earth ponies here specifically, I do like giving them a bit more oomph.
507192 Technically, if you think of it, it's rather advanced, but fits Twilight since she does things the complicated way xP Since really, it requires a ton of tiny magical tendrils to work like a brush. Unless you'd be doing a comb, but that'd still be around 10-20 tendrils.
Yeah, it's nice with a more "balanced" racial different instead of just "these have it awesome, these are doomed to be bland" heh. But yeah, no room to explore EP's in this fic, but just a general statement. They really need more EP "oomph" to it, they're almost always so underrepresented. In theory, they'd be the ones with the most oral expertise (since they use their hooves and mouth while the others can use wing and magic) and endurance.
507437 Indeed, it is, after all, canon that Applejack can buck for a week straight. And I'll leave it up to you to decide whether that's euphemism or not.
507624 Yeah, they get quite underrepresented imo. Can say one thing that bugged me show wise that so far, technically all major things has been solved by magic, some minor things by wings, and like, nothing really "important" has been solved by hoofpower. At least not that I can remember. Ah well, that's trailing off topic. Will hopefully get to that last chapter within the end of the week... possibly. Gah, curse being busy and slow with stuff
Right, another chapter down. And somehow Spitfire being quite "open" in said magazine kinda fits how she is in my headcanon for some reason xP Dash seeming to have some secret of whatnot at the start, and was first going to comment about how Cloudsdale was close to Ponyville, but then recalled it's only usually close to Ponyville, since they pointed it out in the hurricane episode the different towns took turns with swirling up water for it, or something heh xP And was nice to see Fluttershy being excluded from the spell for logical reasons. Not sure about Twi's "probing", since she seems to get caught off guard quite often hehe. Can say I was quite amused by the AJ gag thing.
As for the 12 hour flight, kinda made me wonder how far away it had drifted by now. Found the price to be a bit derped, but I guess it could be compared to a royal suite or something. (The FiM wiki has a decent price range on bits and stuff, but seeing how a cherry costs 2 bits, same as a whole apple pie, it either means cherries are a rare delicacy, or prices are not that hammered out canon wise. Which means that room costs equal to ~197,5 apple pies, or 1185 tomatoes ;D... or would it be ~592,5? Ah, never mind.) Twilight being a...forgot the name of it seemed a bit, awkward, but as said, anypony can be it :P (on a note there, keep in mind the "pony" words, "any" or "some" is usally just used (or should be) when non-ponies are there.) It did kinda creep me out in a mental "what would their friends say?" way xP
Gotta say I'm not 100 % on Dash having another anxiety attack, and in that manor. But I could see her have it. She recovered quickly though. (On a unrelated thing I just now recalled, it's immature, but would have been amusing in my head if Rarity, after diving in, shrieked, made some comment about "Dear heavens! What did you eat?" while crawling out from the bathroom.) Found the cloud scene to be really cute though. And ha, was almost expecting them to do it in public xP Was somewhat worried that Twi would loose concentration of the spell, before I remembered it kinda was a continual enchantment. And have to say, I was kind of anticipating that yell xD Anyhow, overall, it was a rather good chapter.
She couldn't move. In front of her was a tightly held Rainbow Dash, and behind her was a tightly holding Pinkie Pie. Behind Rainbow, Fluttershy had decided to join in, resting against Dash's back just a little too close for comfort.
Did anybody else read this and immediately wanted a drawing of this scene. It sounds so ADORABLE!
please help me I appear to be suffering from cardiac arrest of some kind
All the d'awwws.
YOU NOW HAVE PERMISSION TO HAVE SEX WITH ME
Goddammit, this chapter was amazing. Sappy, very sappy (a good kind of sappy), sexy (an even better kind of sexy), great on the characterization and with the kind of comedy I like in the show. The mental images of an adorable Dash curled up on top of Twilight and all six of them snuggled up in one bed together will be staying with me for a while.
All those feels, man, all those feels. Apart from the probably intended present tense of "Celestia knows" I only found one thing in the second to last paragraph:
>hasn't many anything less beautiful
I have a hunch what the next chapter is going to be about, in case you have the story planned in any way, but it could just be a self-contained theme in this chapter. In any case, I'll eagerly await whatever you have in stock next.
arrr my heart it expoled from to much d'wwws
451816
Whoops, can't believe nobody caught that. Thanks!
And no, not many of the themes in this chapter are self-contained, but there may not necessarily be direct continuations to all of them next chapter. I know where I'm going, but not each individual step.
oh god i'm feeling all the feels
fuk u taw
swag
Why can't I hold all these feels?!
pockettacoradio.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/09/Its-Beautiful-Cat.jpg
TAW, you are a genious... Nay, a god of clop!
'Dorbs to the MAX!!! /)^3^(\
I lost track of all the d'aaaawwws
Ooooh this chapter was amazing! I myself never could read the clop parts of the story but everything else was amazing! KeeP up the good work!
462287
If I can keep you (crazy! These horses are hot!) non-clop guys happy with my saccharine feels, then that makes me one happy writefag, thank you!
Wonderful, this is becoming a better story by the chapter!
I do have a.... question?:
The next several minutes were uncomfortable for everypony present, and left Pinkie Pie tied up on the basket floor, and Applejack blushing profusely. Twilight and Rarity knew better than to ask what that was really all about.
I want to know what that was really all about...
464894
So does everyone else, but it just seemed too awkward to ask at the time, and bringing it up now? I don't think any of them want to do that.
time will tell
464962
But time is such a horrible story teller, I'd much prefer you do it.
465003
ah, but such things require elaboration, thought, and keeping the readers in suspense for my own amusement
but mostly the second one, need to think about things to make them good enough!
465023
Ah I see, never fear I will keep my musings to myself.
Twilightlicious, Rainbowlicious and dawwilicious all at once!
As to Twilight's concern, I feel that she was correct in pushing Dash to go for the try outs. Dash may only be in the Reserves but if she waited another year, those Reserves would have been filled with other ponies, forcing her farther and farther away from one of her life's main objectives. That won't happen now, thanks to Twilight.
Rainbow Dash and Twilight are absolutely adorable in this story. I eagerly await more!
504449
Twilight was intentionally meant to be flustered in ch2, iirc, she had a report that needed finishing ASAP. You're right on the trophies, though, she should have had some - my bad.
As for Twilight's magic, she is a swiss army knife, effectively - her special talent, canonically, is magic itself, and she's been shown learning a lot of very varied different spells. In this case specifically, though, do bear in mind WBHW is set several years after the show, and both Dash and Twilight are very much still in training and education. It wouldn't make sense for them not to be more capable than they are in the show in that context.
Thanks for the feedback! I look forward to hearing what you think of the other chapters, and I hope you're enjoying it!
505498
Mm, I've always liked the idea of them being able to do things a little more "out there" than just straight up regular old sex - that, and horns and wings are some of my favourite parts of their body. Thanks for the feedback!
504499
(When will I learn to not be sleep deprived and comment? xD)
I think I referred to something else with the partial OOC or whatever, but I kinda forgot heh. And yeah, she ought to have some trophies and medals, some "wonderbolt collection" of autographs and etc. And would have been funny with a "lonely nights" possession as well xP (although, wings seems close to equally efficient.)
And I know, I know, she is an army knife :P Some things, like a brush, seems kinda hard to do though, but eh, "It's magic, ain't gotta explain shit" works there hehe. So it's nothing I'd see as unlikely, it just seems like that kind of "I could learn how to use this super complicated thing... or use a brush... *goes off to practice*" I have to admit though, it fits Twilight to an extent She is that "" like sometimes.
And glad you enjoy my semi-random rambling heh. Have to say I've semi-expected you to do female ejaculation at some point. Not to sure why though, heh. (Also, comments are a bit off, since my DNS server is bucking up for no good reason, please excuse that.)
506873
Hehe, yeah. I personally quite like SleeplessBrony's take on them. (even if I personally am not that fond of magicgasms, since it just adds yet another extra perk/trait about being a unicorn to the existing pile of them xP) Which is basically unicorns can get off with their horns, not as strongly as their genitals, but they got feeling in it and whatnot. Pegasi can get off with their wings, leans more towards the "mental orgasm" some girls can have by ex: just having their breasts touched and etc. And earth ponies have more sensitive ears and cutie marks (althou all 3 of them have sensitive cutie marks. Ears were mainly added to not just leave them hanging.) They also have allot more stamina than the other two. But as said, ears and enhanced cutie marks were added so to not screw them over if not with another EP. (Ie: "I make up for lack of ability to get extra pleasure by being able to have more orgasms in a row, which doesn't help at all since my pegasus/unicorn partner is spent after just 1-2...")
507181
Yeah, that's basically how I see Twilight. She could use a brush, or she could get more practice in - and that sort of advanced telekinesis is a pretty generic skill anyway, it wouldn't all be from brushing.
And yeah, I very much like the idea of different races tending to have different preferences, though there's not much room to explore earth ponies here specifically, I do like giving them a bit more oomph.
507192
Technically, if you think of it, it's rather advanced, but fits Twilight since she does things the complicated way xP Since really, it requires a ton of tiny magical tendrils to work like a brush. Unless you'd be doing a comb, but that'd still be around 10-20 tendrils.
Yeah, it's nice with a more "balanced" racial different instead of just "these have it awesome, these are doomed to be bland" heh. But yeah, no room to explore EP's in this fic, but just a general statement. They really need more EP "oomph" to it, they're almost always so underrepresented. In theory, they'd be the ones with the most oral expertise (since they use their hooves and mouth while the others can use wing and magic) and endurance.
507437
Indeed, it is, after all, canon that Applejack can buck for a week straight. And I'll leave it up to you to decide whether that's euphemism or not.
507624
Yeah, they get quite underrepresented imo. Can say one thing that bugged me show wise that so far, technically all major things has been solved by magic, some minor things by wings, and like, nothing really "important" has been solved by hoofpower. At least not that I can remember. Ah well, that's trailing off topic. Will hopefully get to that last chapter within the end of the week... possibly. Gah, curse being busy and slow with stuff
Right, another chapter down. And somehow Spitfire being quite "open" in said magazine kinda fits how she is in my headcanon for some reason xP Dash seeming to have some secret of whatnot at the start, and was first going to comment about how Cloudsdale was close to Ponyville, but then recalled it's only usually close to Ponyville, since they pointed it out in the hurricane episode the different towns took turns with swirling up water for it, or something heh xP And was nice to see Fluttershy being excluded from the spell for logical reasons. Not sure about Twi's "probing", since she seems to get caught off guard quite often hehe. Can say I was quite amused by the AJ gag thing.
As for the 12 hour flight, kinda made me wonder how far away it had drifted by now. Found the price to be a bit derped, but I guess it could be compared to a royal suite or something. (The FiM wiki has a decent price range on bits and stuff, but seeing how a cherry costs 2 bits, same as a whole apple pie, it either means cherries are a rare delicacy, or prices are not that hammered out canon wise. Which means that room costs equal to ~197,5 apple pies, or 1185 tomatoes ;D... or would it be ~592,5? Ah, never mind.) Twilight being a...forgot the name of it seemed a bit, awkward, but as said, anypony can be it :P (on a note there, keep in mind the "pony" words, "any" or "some" is usally just used (or should be) when non-ponies are there.) It did kinda creep me out in a mental "what would their friends say?" way xP
Gotta say I'm not 100 % on Dash having another anxiety attack, and in that manor. But I could see her have it. She recovered quickly though. (On a unrelated thing I just now recalled, it's immature, but would have been amusing in my head if Rarity, after diving in, shrieked, made some comment about "Dear heavens! What did you eat?" while crawling out from the bathroom.) Found the cloud scene to be really cute though. And ha, was almost expecting them to do it in public xP Was somewhat worried that Twi would loose concentration of the spell, before I remembered it kinda was a continual enchantment. And have to say, I was kind of anticipating that yell xD Anyhow, overall, it was a rather good chapter.
I skipped the clop, because I love the plot of this story more.
I was hoping for a Mane 6 gang-bang or some voyeurism
buck my life
my 2 cents DON"T YOU EVER have them 2 fall apart. I seen to many books or shows do that and it just hurts like deep inside it hurts me.
576617 wat he said
Aside from all the clop,
i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/225/400/sweetie%20belle%20that%20is%20beautiful.jpg
"her and her friends would fall" -> "she and her friends would fall"
Did anybody else read this and immediately wanted a drawing of this scene. It sounds so ADORABLE!