I'd be interested to see you write something starring Applejack. Your phrasing an taglines have a certain southern twang ("bless her wings") that I can almost taste and I feel like you might really blossom into something great if you wrote an Apple Family story. Just a thought, from reading between the lines.
Yay for more TAW, I'm going to assume this is good and bring some tissue later. (oh Celestia, did I say that? ) Besides, a sequel to The Trials of Temptation is exactly what I'm looking for, it was so disappointing when it was over.
That was both funny and charmingly cute. Well done. I'd love to see a sequel, perhaps beginning right from where they left off; having to awkwardly explain their situation all the while with their faces covered in...fluids. XD
Well, shit. It's like Romance Reports all over again. Not that I want to compare this to Romance Reports, the ending just reminded me of it.
And... wow. I got so used to just reading all of your clopfics that I never really took the time to notice how good you are at writing romance stories. Trials of Temptation was really much more for fun than actual shipping, but to see you take it this far is really incredible.
301193 Even a slight comparison to RR is high praise, and thank you!
That really is what I'm going for here, anyway, romantic-clop rather than just clop. Of course, I realise not everybody is into that kind of thing, hence the story has a very loose timeframe and I shouldn't find any issues writing more AndThenTheyAllFucked stuff inbetween chapters (like I'm doing now), so hopefully I can keep people happy!
301574 Tell that to Twilight, she doesn't even know how Pinkie got all that pudding out. Never. Again. But that doesn't mean they won't have fun, oh gosh does it not mean that and never say never when you can't be certain, either
Romantic clopfics are kind of a guilty pleasure of mine and this was great. Really looking forward to the next chapter twixdash is my new favorite ship.
Okay, semi-evaluated review time. Firstly, have to say a thing near the beginning struck me as somewhat unnerving, seeing how the "magicsplosion" seemed to cause orgasm: the mention of Pumpkin was well... *cough*. And then overall throughout the chapter. Some parts felt a bit slow and oddly explained. Such as the affection Dash felt for her seemed a tad bit overly fast imo, Dash seem impulsive, but that still feels kinda ooc, a few things in this feels ooc. But still "within reason" in some parts. Though, gotta say, if it was either or both of them's first time in the previous story, they should have been more nervous and/or performed worse than they did.
Also, was a bit curious over how Twi disassembled the sewing machine without magic. And have to say Twi felt a bit off in that scene, although, she's been known to over-exaggerate so... Rarity seemed quite IC, a new touch of her being the "inexperienced" one, don't see it as bad or anything, it's just new. Twi randomly starting talking about Dash... could see it happen, althou it seems like a very awkward and odd element. She seemed to trail between kerfaffled and dreamy though hehe. And Sweetie Belle should know who Dash is, unless it was asked as ... dunno what the form of question is called xP Some words are repeated a bit often, and feels sluggish at times. Others works as a comedic effect, or whatever it's called. (and again, prefer the candy vag's, but it's up to you which color you pick ;P) Squirting included pleases my appeals xP Although, as said, Twi seems a tad bit experienced if she's now supposed to not be very well versed. Oh, and on a side note, you could use wings as a good appendage for ex: prostate (that's the g-spot, makes one squirt usually) stimulation or penetration in general.
Edit: Started off very funny, but through reading the story, I really appreciate the romance of the two. It got very serious and intimate, and for that I enjoy this story very much.
THIS. IS. WIN. But seriously, this is an excellent story with some really great moments. Not to mention some steamy clop. Looking forward to reading ALL of it. Right now.
Their tongues danced, making laps in each other's mouths as both of the involved ponies forgot their stresses and troubles, instead putting their efforts into an honest and sincere attempt to swallow the other pony's face.
One of the hardest things to find is a good story that does erotism excellently (even better than 98% of the pure clop in this site) while still telling an excellent story. You, good Sir, have written such a story.
And the part where Twi is supposed to be teaching... and poor Cheerliee behind her...
Still, though, Twilight understood what Rarity was trying to say—just try it. What's the worst that could happen? Other than heartbreak, ruined friendships, putting the entire kingdom in jeopardy, the potential end of the world, and probably dozens of other disasters that would come to her late at night.
My thoughts about what could go wrong with loving someone.
Never read the first story, but "Dash and Twilight ended up having sex in a sea of pudding by the end" intrigues me.
hahaha , I usually don't read stories labeled *sex* but the pudding thing made me curious. *thumbs up*
I'd be interested to see you write something starring Applejack. Your phrasing an taglines have a certain southern twang ("bless her wings") that I can almost taste and I feel like you might really blossom into something great if you wrote an Apple Family story. Just a thought, from reading between the lines.
Yay for more TAW, I'm going to assume this is good and bring some tissue later. (oh Celestia, did I say that? ) Besides, a sequel to The Trials of Temptation is exactly what I'm looking for, it was so disappointing when it was over.
Stupid real-life cutting into my fanfics.
>twidash
For your older story, I guess you could say that the proof...
...was in the pudding.
EDIT: I think I like it better not knowing why they were in a sea of pudding. I love a good in media res.
287313
Same. :mustache:
Also.. Shower downstairs. What a kicker.
287720
You are a bad person and you should feel bad.
287644
>shipping
That was both funny and charmingly cute. Well done. I'd love to see a sequel, perhaps beginning right from where they left off; having to awkwardly explain their situation all the while with their faces covered in...fluids. XD
Historically, I've found your stuff not really resonating with me, but this was pretty great.
Looking forward to seeing what you do next.
288565
Any particular reason why? I'm always looking for feedback, especially criticism!
Glad to hear you liked this one, though.
it was wasnt a 100% clop so it was good i can say
Oh yes TAW this is awesome keep going!
That cover picture is amazing.
You have my attention. Do continue.
Well, shit. It's like Romance Reports all over again. Not that I want to compare this to Romance Reports, the ending just reminded me of it.
And... wow. I got so used to just reading all of your clopfics that I never really took the time to notice how good you are at writing romance stories. Trials of Temptation was really much more for fun than actual shipping, but to see you take it this far is really incredible.
thelaughingmarcus.files.wordpress.com/2009/08/so-much-win.jpg?w=445
There was not nearly enough pudding in this story.
301193
Even a slight comparison to RR is high praise, and thank you!
That really is what I'm going for here, anyway, romantic-clop rather than just clop. Of course, I realise not everybody is into that kind of thing, hence the story has a very loose timeframe and I shouldn't find any issues writing more AndThenTheyAllFucked stuff inbetween chapters (like I'm doing now), so hopefully I can keep people happy!
301574
Tell that to Twilight, she doesn't even know how Pinkie got all that pudding out. Never. Again.
But that doesn't mean they won't have fun, oh gosh does it not mean that
and never say never when you can't be certain, either
Romantic clopfics are kind of a guilty pleasure of mine and this was great. Really looking forward to the next chapter twixdash is my new favorite ship.
301672 Perhaps the future will hold even grander messes. I look forward to your next post.
Yours Truly,
Lappa Luxury
304786
The future holds a great many things for those two. Some they've foreseen, some I've foreseen, and some neither of us have.
This is awesome, you magnificent bastard!
The ending....killed me with lolz! You glorious bastard you!
Freudian slip: level 9001
My jimmies were rustled most vigorously by this.
Okay, semi-evaluated review time. Firstly, have to say a thing near the beginning struck me as somewhat unnerving, seeing how the "magicsplosion" seemed to cause orgasm: the mention of Pumpkin was well... *cough*. And then overall throughout the chapter. Some parts felt a bit slow and oddly explained. Such as the affection Dash felt for her seemed a tad bit overly fast imo, Dash seem impulsive, but that still feels kinda ooc, a few things in this feels ooc. But still "within reason" in some parts. Though, gotta say, if it was either or both of them's first time in the previous story, they should have been more nervous and/or performed worse than they did.
Also, was a bit curious over how Twi disassembled the sewing machine without magic. And have to say Twi felt a bit off in that scene, although, she's been known to over-exaggerate so... Rarity seemed quite IC, a new touch of her being the "inexperienced" one, don't see it as bad or anything, it's just new. Twi randomly starting talking about Dash... could see it happen, althou it seems like a very awkward and odd element. She seemed to trail between kerfaffled and dreamy though hehe. And Sweetie Belle should know who Dash is, unless it was asked as ... dunno what the form of question is called xP Some words are repeated a bit often, and feels sluggish at times. Others works as a comedic effect, or whatever it's called. (and again, prefer the candy vag's, but it's up to you which color you pick ;P) Squirting included pleases my appeals xP Although, as said, Twi seems a tad bit experienced if she's now supposed to not be very well versed. Oh, and on a side note, you could use wings as a good appendage for ex: prostate (that's the g-spot, makes one squirt usually) stimulation or penetration in general.
That ending was perfect
I liekz
"Leave Dash unconcious [X]"
That checklist.
...I just read this. Okay... not as good as Field Notes, but okay. :p
"Hm, this was a nice chapter with a good mix of romance and humor."
*notices author is TAW*
"Ah, that explains it." I'll read the rest later.
Forget the clopping. This story is funny as hell.
Edit: Started off very funny, but through reading the story, I really appreciate the romance of the two. It got very serious and intimate, and for that I enjoy this story very much.
Angry twilight = amazing, angry sex
THIS. IS. WIN. But seriously, this is an excellent story with some really great moments. Not to mention some steamy clop. Looking forward to reading ALL of it. Right now.
i.qkme.me/352hts.jpg
Dash froze, the blue fading slightly from her face. "Oh, heh, yeah. That's what I came up to tell you about—they're downstairs"
I lost it at that point. Imagine the friends of them and all of Ponyville waiting below while listening to their love-making above.
i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/154/500/tumblr_loyytsW3VD1qjggqwo1_500.jpg
Dafuq did I just read
This has to be one of the best fan ficus that I have read to date
I have to say this...
What is love?
Baby don't hurt me
Don't hurt me
No more
One of the hardest things to find is a good story that does erotism excellently (even better than 98% of the pure clop in this site) while still telling an excellent story. You, good Sir, have written such a story.
And the part where Twi is supposed to be teaching... and poor Cheerliee behind her...
Bucking PRICELESS!!!!!
1404802 go die now for that!
1404802
well said
1054994
dear lord
378984
i.imgur.com/x0UAj.jpg
*chuckle* That was wonderful. My only issue is
You missed a space.
My thoughts about what could go wrong with loving someone.