Man you write some of the best stories. I'm not talking the best clop stories, but the best stories. Yeah there's some sex in this story, but it's there to show how their relationship would work. Good chapter I can't wait for the next one.
Oh you also write a pretty good troll fic as well.
I ... I just can't read everything I want to anymore and still pretend like I have a life. It's just too much. Especially from you, TAW. You're a god damn writing machine. Slow down, so I can catch the fuck up. But I swear I will keep making time for this story.
The sex scenes are happening earlier and earlier in new chapters, aren't they? And is it just me or are they getting longer, too? Especially this one. Got a little carried away there, didn't we? (This might look like criticism, but it's not.)
I don't have anything to criticize here. Take that as an indication for my standards if you will, but I'm loving the hell out of this story. Whenever I feel like I'm burned out on TwiDash, when I think I've read one fic too many, I see another moment of affection between them like in here, giving me that 'Hnnnnngh' feeling and I know that it's still there. Thank you for that.
That's it. I'm bad at commenting on stories, I know. I wish I had constructive criticism, but I don't. Ask me and I'll shower you in praise though. (Seriously, I'd do it.) I got nothing else, other than that I indeed can and want to wait for the next update. That makes it that much sweeter when I see a new chapter appear for this story.
>until Twilight was quite upside own in front of her
>Twilight aught to show her a dictionary some day Oh, the irony.
508898 I'm always up for being showered in praise ;)
Thanks for the words regardless, though, they make the writing worthwhile! And yes, the sex scenes ARE getting earlier, I'm starting to just take any excuse to segue into it so I can concentrate on the drama by this point!
513227 Dude... Its almost canon the jail puts magic handcuffs on unicorn horns. Fappin' is okay, But don't walk in on me. Or you'll be covered in basement... Minus B-A-T. Poem by Emerald Flight, no copyright, so dont have to ask for permission, but still giving credit.
Well alirght, that was a weird moment...I got about 3 lines into the newest chapter before I was like "Why does that whole magical plants which takes things from enviornment remind me of that one story I read some time ago.... funny coincidence.(and weird to think of a kinda dark clopish story while reading one of my favority shipping/clopish stories)", turns out you wrote that story yourself... I guess that explains that. I'll prob edit this once I actully finish more then the first para, but I know the chapter will be good, all of them have been great so far.(even if I dont comment much(or ever).
what are "equine-hours" btw? I have never heard the term "human-hours" so that kinda confused me.(unless we are assuming time and as such hours passes at different rate in equestria.
Done, good chapter and I like how it is more story centered.(maybe not "epic advanture" story centered, but much more life events and just the things both of them have to face over time... I really like that, goodjob)
I can't wait to see where you are taking this, the way you went into the magical works and stuff was very interesting and I like your take on it.
527680 ha, yeah, that bit did get a little close to parts of Disobedience for my liking too "Equine-hours" was meant to be "man-hours" - I guess stallion-hours might have worked better but that might not fit so well in a matriarchal society. Come to think of it, mare hours even sounds closer so I really should have used that. Welp.
Thanks! The story so far has been mostly internal, but it's this chapter where the external one really starts to ramp up, so there's more of that to come. Good fun!
543402 The way I see Twilight's magic working, it would be basically impossible for her to *not* see somebody sneaking up on her, but only while she was actually looking. The vast majority of the time she isn't looking, and thus is quite sneak-up-onable.
I'll admit I made the bits up, but the show does the same so I simply picked a high-sounding number. The any(pony|body) issue is also present in the show, so I'm assuming they use both fairly interchangably. Also, I refuse to put anypony in my spellcheck's dictionary, so take that as you will.
543600 Fair enough, that works I guess. She's been seen trailing off doing magic, thinking or whatnot and got ambushed quite a few times in the show though hehe.
Yeah, while the show does quite random numbers, it seems to have somewhat of a balanced economy. It's something to keep in mind when writing, since most reading are at least somewhat well "educated" (in the MLP world), so they'd have a hum about the prices. Just putting it out there. The price is somewhat reasonable though, even if going with the current bits system, since it as said, seems to be some super suite, and all 6 of them can fit there. (food better be included xD) Anyhow, when it comes to the "body/pony" part, they've gotten much better at saying pony in the second season, but at the same time, worse imo. Since they tend to mess that up, using "body" when it's only ponies, and "pony" when it's mixed races. So eh. and fair enough.
543806 Well, if I'm given the choice between thinking of a number that "sounds about right" as opposed to becoming well versed enough in economic theory that I can predict the prices of a style of hotel room that doesn't exist in our world in a moving industrial city during a large event AND convert that into bits at the current exchange rate, I'm going to pick the one that takes me 5 seconds of thought, not 5 weeks :)
543917 Haha xP It doesn't have to take 5 weeks, just a quick "if an apple pie or three tomatoes costs 2 bits, what would be reasonable for a suite worthy of Celestia? It's what I used for a spa fic in progress... kind off, I can agree I went a bit "sounds about right" there, since I think it was ~50 bits for an hour/90 min of full treatment. And in irl, that's about 500 sek, and an apple is like, 5 sek or something so by that I could kinda evaluate that if an (or two) apple costed one bit, and they used similar economy it's be an accurate price. And trailed off a bit here, hehe. Point being, it's good to have a comparison at least. After a bit of pondering, the price seems kind of about right. But still, dinner better be included, and I dunno why xD
544370 Ah, don't me to much, unless some other point it out, don't mind it. I just like to discuss and trail off in stuff hehe :P Sorry for rambling on on so many things lately.
Welp, finally up to date, but to tired to comment heh. I liked the interaction and attempt to create... whatever it's called though. Dash pulling a rainboom in fright was an element I liked.
576655 Target: Every two weeks Reality: On the one hand, I'm 800 words into the next chapter. On the other, I saw your comment while taking a short break writing it. By sunday, most likely.
I'm really enjoying the story, but one of the things that bothers me is when you say "anybody" or "somebody" instead of "anypony" or "somepony". Just my input.
I'm very much interested to see how this turns out- I think this has been the best chapter so far by a long, LONG shot. Rock on, you crazy author.
Man you write some of the best stories. I'm not talking the best clop stories, but the best stories. Yeah there's some sex in this story, but it's there to show how their relationship would work. Good chapter I can't wait for the next one.
Oh you also write a pretty good troll fic as well.
Shine on you crazy diamond.
Wow that was awesome I can’t wait to see what happens next.
Great chapter
I ... I just can't read everything I want to anymore and still pretend like I have a life. It's just too much. Especially from you, TAW. You're a god damn writing machine. Slow down, so I can catch the fuck up. But I swear I will keep making time for this story.
The sex scenes are happening earlier and earlier in new chapters, aren't they? And is it just me or are they getting longer, too? Especially this one. Got a little carried away there, didn't we? (This might look like criticism, but it's not.)
I don't have anything to criticize here. Take that as an indication for my standards if you will, but I'm loving the hell out of this story. Whenever I feel like I'm burned out on TwiDash, when I think I've read one fic too many, I see another moment of affection between them like in here, giving me that 'Hnnnnngh' feeling and I know that it's still there. Thank you for that.
That's it. I'm bad at commenting on stories, I know. I wish I had constructive criticism, but I don't. Ask me and I'll shower you in praise though. (Seriously, I'd do it.) I got nothing else, other than that I indeed can and want to wait for the next update. That makes it that much sweeter when I see a new chapter appear for this story.
>until Twilight was quite upside own in front of her
>Twilight aught to show her a dictionary some day
Oh, the irony.
508898
I'm always up for being showered in praise ;)
Thanks for the words regardless, though, they make the writing worthwhile!
And yes, the sex scenes ARE getting earlier, I'm starting to just take any excuse to segue into it so I can concentrate on the drama by this point!
512501
is it okay if I do the other way around?
what about both at once?
Can't wait for Twilight to go to jail for showing them up.
513193
like it could hold her
513227 Dude... Its almost canon the jail puts magic handcuffs on unicorn horns.
Fappin' is okay,
But don't walk in on me.
Or you'll be covered in basement...
Minus B-A-T.
Poem by Emerald Flight, no copyright, so dont have to ask for permission, but still giving credit.
Yeah, WOO! Show those elitist bastards who's who! FIGHT THE POWAH, PONY GALS!
I cannot remember when I last "Daw"ed this hard.
You are an amazing author. Thank you for existing.
516432
Thanks! I try :)
Well alirght, that was a weird moment...I got about 3 lines into the newest chapter before I was like "Why does that whole magical plants which takes things from enviornment remind me of that one story I read some time ago.... funny coincidence.(and weird to think of a kinda dark clopish story while reading one of my favority shipping/clopish stories)", turns out you wrote that story yourself... I guess that explains that.
I'll prob edit this once I actully finish more then the first para, but I know the chapter will be good, all of them have been great so far.(even if I dont comment much(or ever).
what are "equine-hours" btw? I have never heard the term "human-hours" so that kinda confused me.(unless we are assuming time and as such hours passes at different rate in equestria.
Done, good chapter and I like how it is more story centered.(maybe not "epic advanture" story centered, but much more life events and just the things both of them have to face over time... I really like that, goodjob)
I can't wait to see where you are taking this, the way you went into the magical works and stuff was very interesting and I like your take on it.
527680
ha, yeah, that bit did get a little close to parts of Disobedience for my liking too
"Equine-hours" was meant to be "man-hours" - I guess stallion-hours might have worked better but that might not fit so well in a matriarchal society. Come to think of it, mare hours even sounds closer so I really should have used that. Welp.
Thanks! The story so far has been mostly internal, but it's this chapter where the external one really starts to ramp up, so there's more of that to come. Good fun!
Speechless...one of the better fics out here.
Hah...one of the better? That's a joke. ONE OF THE BEST STORIES EVER WRITTEN! << And that, my good Sir, is the truth.
Do the impossible, break the unbreakable, see the invisible, RO ROW FIGHT THE POWAH!
desmond.imageshack.us/Himg708/scaled.php?server=708&filename=kaminawe.png&res=landing
Ahem, I found this chapter to be one of the finer things you've written and eagerly wait for what comes next.
542178
Keep reading!
543402
The way I see Twilight's magic working, it would be basically impossible for her to *not* see somebody sneaking up on her, but only while she was actually looking. The vast majority of the time she isn't looking, and thus is quite sneak-up-onable.
I'll admit I made the bits up, but the show does the same so I simply picked a high-sounding number. The any(pony|body) issue is also present in the show, so I'm assuming they use both fairly interchangably. Also, I refuse to put anypony in my spellcheck's dictionary, so take that as you will.
543600
Fair enough, that works I guess. She's been seen trailing off doing magic, thinking or whatnot and got ambushed quite a few times in the show though hehe.
Yeah, while the show does quite random numbers, it seems to have somewhat of a balanced economy. It's something to keep in mind when writing, since most reading are at least somewhat well "educated" (in the MLP world), so they'd have a hum about the prices. Just putting it out there. The price is somewhat reasonable though, even if going with the current bits system, since it as said, seems to be some super suite, and all 6 of them can fit there. (food better be included xD) Anyhow, when it comes to the "body/pony" part, they've gotten much better at saying pony in the second season, but at the same time, worse imo. Since they tend to mess that up, using "body" when it's only ponies, and "pony" when it's mixed races. So eh. and fair enough.
543806
Well, if I'm given the choice between thinking of a number that "sounds about right" as opposed to becoming well versed enough in economic theory that I can predict the prices of a style of hotel room that doesn't exist in our world in a moving industrial city during a large event AND convert that into bits at the current exchange rate, I'm going to pick the one that takes me 5 seconds of thought, not 5 weeks :)
543917
Haha xP It doesn't have to take 5 weeks, just a quick "if an apple pie or three tomatoes costs 2 bits, what would be reasonable for a suite worthy of Celestia? It's what I used for a spa fic in progress... kind off, I can agree I went a bit "sounds about right" there, since I think it was ~50 bits for an hour/90 min of full treatment. And in irl, that's about 500 sek, and an apple is like, 5 sek or something so by that I could kinda evaluate that if an (or two) apple costed one bit, and they used similar economy it's be an accurate price. And trailed off a bit here, hehe. Point being, it's good to have a comparison at least. After a bit of pondering, the price seems kind of about right. But still, dinner better be included, and I dunno why xD
544317
I generally try to avoid things so steeped in fanon, but sometimes it's necessary. I won't do it again if it's an issue for people.
544370
Ah, don't me to much, unless some other point it out, don't mind it. I just like to discuss and trail off in stuff hehe :P
Sorry for rambling on on so many things lately.
Welp, finally up to date, but to tired to comment heh. I liked the interaction and attempt to create... whatever it's called though. Dash pulling a rainboom in fright was an element I liked.
I love your work it is amazing please write more <3 is my new fav shipping!
Just tell Celestia she has a council of douchbags to the moon!
when does the next chapter come out? waiting for it has been like
576655
Target: Every two weeks
Reality: On the one hand, I'm 800 words into the next chapter. On the other, I saw your comment while taking a short break writing it. By sunday, most likely.
This is Fantastic? the plat started off slow but it has really picked up!! its great!
I love how Twilight is the one taking risks and making Dash worry it is a nice change of pace.
577633
That really wouldn't fit within the established context of their relationship, nor the planned story arc.
By which I mean, that's a concept so awesome it /requires/ it's own story.
And so, more and more of a story is being woven through, Great job.
Am I the only one that caught the Lord of the Rings reference when Twilight yelled at Rainbow Dash, "Fly, you foal!"
FUS RO DAW!
I'm really enjoying the story, but one of the things that bothers me is when you say "anybody" or "somebody" instead of "anypony" or "somepony". Just my input.
807072 Yep.
mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/img/mlfw3846-1332354537288957.png
good job n.n
That was awesome. You are doing a great job keep it up.
Sounds about right! Why can't everyday be like that?