Let me show you my Alucard.
As Twilight entered the library to test her limits with alcohol, Goku suddenly saw Vegeta flying over head.
"Hey Vegeta!" he yelled.
"Oh god, what do you want Kakarot?"
"Nothin."
Vegeta let out a sigh and landed next to Goku, "Who's your friend?" he asked pointing towards Derpy.
"She's cross eye." Goku responded.
Derpy looked up at Goku, "Actually my name's Derpy Whoo-"
"Yep, good old Cross eye."
Vegeta replied, "That right huh, hey how'd you get here?"
"Get where?"
"Here."
Goku thought for a moment, "I dunno."
Vegeta gently put his hand over his face in frustration then suddenly noticed the ground was shaking. "Kakarot? da fucks goin' on?"
"I don't know!"
"Do you ever know anything?!"
Suddenly a tall vampire in a red trench coat with a stylish red hat and bitchin sunglasses burst out of the ground.
"Suuuuup!" he said.
Vegeta took a good look at the vampire, "Who the hell are you?"
"Name's the Crimson Fucker but you can call me Alucard... Wait, I remember you." he said while pointing at Vegeta.
"Well I don't remember you." Vegeta replied.
"Oh yes you do, remember we did that quick Christmas thing together."
Suddenly Vegeta began to laugh, "Oh yeah, that's right. We almost wasted the Earth with that fight we had!"
"Good times." Alucard replied.
Goku kept his usual retard smile, "Do you remember me?"
"We've never met...Oh shit are these ponies!" Alucard ran over and picked up Rainbow Dash. "I fucking love ponies!"
"Oh Celestia, please, whatever you are, put me down." Dash was being crushed by an Alucard style huge that no one ever gets.
Alucard put Dash down and began to smell the air for some odd reason gaining a strange look from Vegeta.
"I smell...alcohol." He said as he gave a smile to Vegeta and busted down the door to the library, "Who's mixin it up in here!" he yelled as he entered.
Twilight dropped a perfectly good bottle of Tequila and Apple Farm Whiskey shattering them both while giving spike a mild heart attack.
"Geez!" Twilight yelled, "What are you? Another one of those monkeys that got stuck here?"
"Hey, I'm a fuck mothering vampire and I deserve to be referred to as such."
"Right." Twilight rolled her eyes somewhat pissed at the new development. "Can I help you with something?"
"Hold on." Alucard had pulled a cell phone out of no where. It was a windows/Android hybrid phone and had over 9000 terabytes of storage space. Legends say 5000 terabytes of that was porn, but it's only a legend.
"Hey! Alucard! why do you have signal and I don't!" Vegeta demanded.
"Fuck you, that's why."
Vegetas anger was growing immensely as he was getting one upped at every turn.
Alucard dialed a number he had in his contacts and listened to it ring.
A familiar voice picked up on the other end, "Hello? This is the Princess of the Night. How did you get this number?"
"Bitch. Ponyville. Night on the town. Now." Alucard then proceeded to hang up on Luna respectively. "Gotta keep the bitches wanting more." he said to himself.
Twilight still watched Alucard closely trying to figure out what he was doing. "Who was that?"
"Oh, it was your princess."
"Celestia?"
"She's still around? I mean, no, Luna."
"How do you know Luna?" Twilight asked.
"Remember how she was trapped in the moon for a 1000 years?"
"Yeah."
Alucard continued in a seductive tone, "Who do you think kept her company for that amount of time."
Twilight cringed a bit at the thought, "I didn't need to know that."
Suddenly a blue flash over took the library and Luna appeared. "Ha zah! You have returned Alucard!"
"Sup bitch."
Luna was moving in for a hug but Alucard stopped her. "Okay, don't think I don't know what you did."
"Whatever do you mean?" she asked.
"You texted Arnold Schwarzenegger when you were in trouble and not me! Why?"
"It was an honest mistake." Luna said looking innocent.
"Whatever, you're lucky I like you."
"Does this mean I get to stay on you're cell phone plan?"
"Pfft yeah, cause all you have around here is sprint, and sprint sucks." Alucard replied.
"It truly does." Luna added.
"Okay." Alucard took a seat in a nearby chair. "We need to go clubbing. If we haven't hit every club in this town by the end of the night then we did something wrong."
"An excellent idea Alucard. How do you come up with these things?" Luna asked.
"I paid a visit to the 60's era spiderman story, that's how."
"I...I don't follow." Luna stated.
"It's better you don't."
Twilight cut in on the conversation, "Hey I heard clubbing. Can I get in on this?"
"No." Alucard stated.
"Oh come on, I feel like you owe me." Twilight replied.
"Now why would I ever owe you."
Twilight pointed to the spot that spike was cleaning where the bottles of alcohol had broken.
Alucard only replied with,
"That's funny, I could have sworn I just heard my boss Integra."
Luna walked up closer to Alucard, "Oh come on Ally, I don't think it would be a bad idea to let Twilight join us."
"Jesus, fine. Pony with the name from that stupid movie...you can go." Alucard said as he thought over the situation.
Twilight smiled then got confused at the 'movie' remark.
Vegeta and Goku were still outside of the library but had heard every word, "Hey Alucard, can we come too?" Vegeta asked.
"No." Alucard said.
"Why not? you're letting her go!" Vegeta responded.
"Yeah, cause Luna wants it. End of story. And as you may have noticed, I've got a big night planned."
"Fine." Vegeta said, "Me and Kakarot will go do something, and..and...hey you!" Vegeta pointed at Rainbow Dash.
"Me?" She replied.
"Yeah, come on. We'll show them we can have a fun time! There'll be Blackjack! and Hookers!" Vegeta then stormed off with Goku and Rainbow Dash to go do whatever it was that Vegeta had planned.
Alucard turned his attention back to the matter at hand, "Oh man, if I didn't just rustle some jimmies I'll eat my hat... So, Twilight. I don't know anything about you. Which I'm sure surprises someone somewhere. Tell me, do you like parties?"
Twilight suddenly thought of Pinkie Pie, "No, no. why did you say that? Why!"
Luna added, "Get your gun Alucard! You may be the only one with the power to stop her!"
Alucard straightened his glasses. "What was that writer? Did you say glasses?"
"Yes." The writer responded.
"No, these are vintage sunglasses. You will refer to them as such."
"Okay, okay. Calm down." The writer responded.
Alucard straightened his SUNglasses and looked up at Luna and Twilight, "Would someone or somepony, hehe, get it? Care to explain to me what in the actual fuck you two are going on about."
"When you say." Twilight looked around quickly then whispered, "Party. Pinkie Pie shows up and she's literally a party animal."
Alucard stood up, "Oh really? Hey Pinkie Pie!!! Come on out and party!" he yelled and looked around the room. "Well, I don't see-"
Suddenly confetti covered the entire library also covering Alucard and the others, even spike had confetti on him and he was in the next fucking room!
"I love parties!" Pinkie yelled out and latched onto Alucard. "Here, want a cupcake?!" Pinkie held a cupcake up to Alucard but as he watched her with a smile Pinkie slid it into his coat pocket.
"Oh you are just a treat." he said while taking in the full quality of Pinkie Pies party standards.
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I have this strange feeling that this night is going to end with Alucard in bed with Luna, Twilight, and Pinkie, with Discord strapped to something uncomfortable, while Goku, Vegeta, and Rainbow Dash are all hanging upside down from somewhere...at which point someone mistakes them for a piñata.
3615084
I wish I had your thought process!
When is Krillin gonna come in and get owned by every creature in Equestria?
LOL, and Alucard has to see Pinkie Pie's Party Cannon
Alucard: "Bitches Love Cannons"
3615109
If you like my ideas, feel free to use them. It'd make me smile!
3615111Alucard: Get that bitch a cannon.
Pinkie: I already have one, silly! *pulls out cannon and fires. Krillin gets caught in the blast*
Krillin: OHGODWHY- *ding* >Krillin Owned Count: +1
Also, don't you know that cupcakes are bad for your teeth? Wouldn't you much rather have a nice, juicy lamb chop?
3615125 I might, we'll see what happens.
3615111 He'll most likely come in when I think the story starts to dry out. But you never know what might happen.
DAT LAUGH
3615138
Mental image of Krillin getting owned by the CMC, several times over.
>mfw
3615138 I'm totally using that part with Alucard and Pinkie.
As for the part about cupcakes and teeth, I sent that to Alucard and this is what happened:
This is gonna be good
Dirty mind, get back in the corner where you belong.
I request the manliest of brofists!
Alright Vegeta, but odds are the closest thing you'll find "your style" will be a few minotaurs.
Comment 100. YES!....Sorry, this is my first story to get 100 comments.
3615525 Here, I found 2 brofists for you:
global3.memecdn.com/EPIC-brofist_o_135185.jpg
imagehaul.com/thehauls/d9536fbea5a6f635bd4aeadf3c3f9395.gif
I love this story already
Welp. I think it would be obvious as to what happened as soon as I saw the chapter title...
*insert that Alucard llaugh video here cause lol iPad doesn't like me linking stuff
*
3615138 omg that made my morning watching that! Ty
WHAT?! No Police Girl or French Guy?
FOR SHAME!
3615699
Of course, brofists of the caliber I requested could only be accomplished by those with a Super Saiyan level of awesome.
3587162Wait, no powers? Twilight is a friggin beast! Laser Gatling Gun == MORE DAKKA.
Also, early Season 1 showed that she could basically output 10x the power of Little Boy in energy per second for 90 seconds straight, and just be really out of breath. AND THIS ISN'T EVEN IN HER FINAL FORM. That was basically (goku analogy time) the Tien fight.
3618274 What I meant to say was energy. Like ponies don't get to use energy. What Twilight can do is magic. There's a difference. And as vegeta has demonstrated in the show, Magic ain't shit.
images6.fanpop.com/image/photos/34200000/Majin-Vegeta-Gif-rileyferguson-34237254-497-279.gif
Come at me magic lovers!
3617188 Give it time, Alucard's not done yet.
3618756
>Come at me magic lovers
>Pun Pun
>infinite power
>infinite ability to use magic
>includes Wish
>infinite Ki
>Above Popo on Pecking Order
>Because magic
3619109 You may have beaten Goku and Vegeta, but no one can stop Mr. Popo and Terry Crews when he's holding a bottle of Old Spice.
I can feel Celestia twitching from here.
3619183Um, Pun Pun can beat Superman Prime tetrated to the (Popo with Old Spice tetrated to (Discord factorial)) instantly. At first level.
3619201 Oh, I didn't know we were being serious. In that case, I agree.
3619201 Also, who's Pun Pun?
3619252A theoretical construct Kobold from D&D 3.5 that exploits an infinite loop to, in the time it takes for a DBZ powerup, go from "killable with a pointy stick" to "Oh, you summoned the entire Cthulhu Mythos to kill me? And Alucard? AND Mr. Popo?? ANNNND The GM??? How quaint."
3619275 Oh, sounds cheap and overpowered. But an effective dick move if you ever needed one.
3619289I know. No one's ever actually dared use it. And this is in a world where people literally smooth-talk their way in-universe into domesticating the enemy final boss dragon WITHOUT A MAGIC SPELL.
JESUS WANTS A HUG!!!
Luna needs a cannon. Bitches love cannons.
Woo.
Not exactly what I would do, but ok.
It's actually 6000.