Team Four Star goes to Equestria

by Linite

Ol'de Chaos

Discord was walking around the studio making sure everything was in place. It had to be perfect. This was his first commercial for his line of well, everything! Discord vowed secretly to take over the masses pop culture references and monopolize every business in Equestria. But like every business creature he had to start small and work his way up.

"Places people. This has to be chaotic, got it?" Discord said sipping at his coffee his assistant brought him. "Thank you dear."

Discord moved into the shot and the pony behind the camera motioned him to move left, then right, then left again. "Oh come on! I'm sure its fine." Only glancing at discord for a second the camera pony motioned right again. "Never mind." Discord said as he snapped his fingers bringing the camera to life. "The camera can do a better job than you can."

"Scene 1, Ol'de Chaos. Action." The camera began to roll and discord started his lines.

"Hi, I'm Discord! Tell me, have you ever felt bad about yourself? Low self esteem perhaps? Or just can't seem to get that certain skip in your step like you used to? Well do I have the answer for you!" Discord unveiled a table full of cologne, jackets, T-shirts, and baseball bats. "Ol'de Chaos! It's a line that covers all your needs! Marefriend avoiding you lately? Use a little bit of my Ol'de Chaos Colt Scent and you'll have to fight those bitches off you! Need something to keep you warm or just want to wear something that shows you're not a pushover? Then look into the fashion side and express your emotions through what you wear! And this, oh, this right here." Discord picked up the baseball bat. "This is the patented Ol'de Chaos F-U bat. That's right folks. A guarantied 'knock out' every time whether it be to a ball, chicken, or that annoying neighbor, you can rest easy that you'll get out scot free every time. All of this can be yours with three easy payments of 19 bits or order items separate for 10 bits. Not convinced yet? Then I'll double the offer! That's right folks anything you order, I'll double it. Who wouldn't want double the Chaos?"

With this the commercial ended. Discord was unsure of how he sold it and headed for his trailer to relax and try and come up with another plan.

While deep in thought and looking at his own reflection in a mirror that hung on the wall in front of him he mauled over the script trying to mix up a bit.

Think Discord, how can it be better. More chaotic to show the nature of the line but with enough sense that it can be understood.

Suddenly Discord was ripped away from his thoughts as his reflection of himself was replaced with the upper body of Billy Mays.

"Mays. What are you doing here? I thought you died of a heart attack or something." Discord said in a confused tone.

"I did John but I saw your commercial and I could tell that you need help. By the way, I loved you in Star Trek."

"That's what they all say." Discord responded.

"Just listen to me and we'll have you selling like a pro in no time." Billy Mays continued to give his trademarked smile.

"Fine." Discord responded and then leaned closer to the mirror. "And don't call me by John De Lancie here. Discord is a waaaay better name for this world."

With a quick acknowledgment to the name change Billy Mays quickly set to work on teaching Discord the proper way to sell products. In a matter of hours Discord had remade his commercial and aired it to every T.V in Equestria. At this point only time would tell if Discord would be successful at his devious plans to control the business sector of Equestria.

Author's Note:

Good god that chapter was boring. I tried everything and just couldn't make it funny. Oh well, next one should be better.

Also I really need to read up on business and economics. Might come in handy.

Comments

[Tatsurou]

Well, you could have added something about how few TVs there are in Equestria...

Yeah, you're right. This idea didn't work.

[Lag Incarnate]

One does not simply make a commercial without acknowledging the great Mays.

[Linite]

4499186 Shit, yeah I guess I missed that. Maybe Discord felt generous and gave everyone a free t.v...and cable or something....Yeah this aspect that I thought of isn't that great. Time to stick with the tried and true. Alucard.

[Bronze Statue]

Discord unveiled a table full of colon

table full of colon

crcftlauderdale.com/images/anat_colon_1.0.jpg
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[Linite]

4501213 Ah shit. I knew I wasn't spelling cologne right. goddamn words.

Spelling error has been corrected.

[Linite]

4513777 Wait. Are you against what he's doing or are you just hoping that eventually he meets something that can show him up?

[Wyrme]

I was right when I guessed that John de Lancie was a hyper-intelligent pan-dimensional being and that Discord was just one of his many projections into different universes!

[Alondro]

4518919 This is quite accurate. I had dinner with John during the Bronydoc filming and we discussed transdimensional issues among other things.

He revealed he was Q and I revealed I was P.

[Alondro]

4514271 I think it's just that Alucard is the most over-rated OP character ever or something. And his name is just Dracula backwards, which is totally the lamest thing ever, like something a 6-year old does to try and feel clever.

[THEMACHODEMONBOY]

4513777
Shut the fuck up bitch don't make me summon the great and mighty popo