- Member Since 12th Sep, 2013
- offline last seen Jan 9th, 2014
DatClopWriter
I am a clopper that writes clop simple as.
DatClopWriter
Joined 12th Sep, 2013 ·
Offline
Also LikedSimilarAuthor
- Lawpony · 31k words · 48 11 · 1.3k views
- SFC Ponycron · 2.8k words · 55 4 · 1.2k views
- xStellar_Bubbles · 2.1k words · 20 1 · 1.1k views
- Berry Punch · 3.6k words · 167 8 · 3.4k views
- Ziggy05 · 2.7k words · 12 0 · 793 views
- Shadow Legion · 9.8k words · 114 10 · 2k views
- LordBrony2040 · 2.4k words · 522 74 · 8.1k views
- Raidah · 11k words · 62 10 · 1.4k views
Stats
Page generated in 0.098 seconds
Total duration
1,073 users online
1,703,904 hits today, 1,960,719 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
Your understanding of word use is quite poor.
Just because words mean the same thing doesn't mean they can be used in the same way. Words have different tones and formalities and connotations.
Also run on sentences are bad. Sentence length defines pace. Staying consistent to maintain a mood is important.
As for your use of cliches, stop it. Theres a time to use them but they are use sparingly and intentionally.
As for the story itself, I've read better. I've even written better and by barely having anything happen, leaving me plenty of room to explore another time.
Why? because I actually have characters, as opposed to puppets to project this sue character you have here.
My only problem before reading.
thanks for the feedback but go easy it's my first clopfic
umm... it's a little hard to read what is going on
3242606
not even an excuse. If its not by a certain standard then you gotta step it up.
3242727 Any tips then?
3242758
read more, you learn more. read everything. spread out.
3242589 ???
3242763
You said he was unknown, but then went on (in the same sentence) to say exactly who he was.
I'm waiting
I like the idea of the plot. but you need to work on ssentence structure and punctuation.
3243187 thx man i will improve just give it time i have some good plot twists and ideas
It being a first clopfic isn't the problem- the problem is this sounds like the writing of an 11-12 year old boy.
That's one heck of a sentence...
3243972 an 11 - 12 yr ol wouldnt even be able to comprehend the shit im going to make these ponies do. but thx anyway
The writing is...
Awfully off...
Even for me who can accept almost anything...
l.wigflip.com/35pBNQda/roflbot.jpg
My sure if I wanna read this
Not enough has happened to judge by the story, but you need an editor. I suggest looking on this site for a few groups that offer finding people for it and going through their rules on how to get in touch with an editor. This story has potential, but so many mistakes will detract from it.
Are you going to finish this?