Ask Chatterjoy

by Chatterjoy

Chatterjoy Vs. Sledgehammer!

"-And then we defeated this big awesome octopus monster it was absolutely amazing!" Chatterjoy rambled. Her friends, Wordplay and Jazzy Mellows followed tiredly behind her. The pegasus had been retelling the story of one of their adventures, but who she was talking to remained a mystery to the unicorns.

"Chatterjoy, pray tell, who are you talking to?" Jazzy asked. The unicorn trotted up to the pegasus in curiosity. Wordplay remained behind slowly dragging her hooves. "You've been talking for hours, and we already know this story," Jazzy attempted to explain. Chatterjoy gained a hurt expression at the unicorn's question.

When the pegasus moved a tiny bit away from Jazzy, Wordplay noticed that one side of Chatterjoy's saddle bag was opened. "Chatterjoy, your bag is open. You better close it," Wordplay said. She didn't want any of her friend's things flying out.

"It's fine!" the pegasus called back to her. She trotted ahead of Jazzy and began talking again. "Don't worry about them. I can't believe they forgot about you! I mean seriously! Oh well, if they forgot then they'll just have to remember," Chatterjoy said. The bag slightly moved and caught Wordplay's attention.

"Are you hiding yet another animal in the bag?" Wordplay accused as she straightened up and glared at the pegasus. "You're almost as bad as Fluttershy with animals and it's not even your special talent!" Chatterjoy ignored the unicorn and took to the air, mumbling about how the silent treatment never fails.

"Gah!" Wordplay sighed. The pegasus was so stubborn and failed to realize that not every pony could understand how her mind worked. Those associated with laughter always seemed to be a totally different species of ponies. They always did something that normal ponies could only dream of doing, or achieve by many years of practice.

"Chatterjoy! Get back here!" Jazzy yelled. When the pegasus ignored her the concert unicorn grew increasingly irritated. "I am going to count to three and you better be down on the ground when I'm done!" Jazzy warned.

"One!"

Chatterjoy just flew a little faster causing Jazzy and Wordplay to start galloping to keep up with her.

"Two!"

Both unicorns were now galloping so fast sweat began to gather on their coats, but Chatterjoy refused to listen to them and just kept flying.

"Three!"

When Chatterjoy failed to land, Jazzy lighted her horn in its light blue aura. Chatterjoy jerked forward and missed a flap as her tail was caught in a levitation field. The open bag spilled its contents upon the earth in a heap. Upon it were useless things one wouldn't think of bringing on a trip in the wilderness.

Balls, apples, cupcakes, knitting needles, yarn of different colors, a skull of a pony, song sheets, a microphone...what? Jazzy and Wordplay let out a scream at the sight of the skull that came from her bag. Chatterjoy quickly flew down and hugged it.

"Don't worry Filler those mean ponies won't hurt you! I'm sorry you fell," Chatterjoy soothed. She was rubbing her hoof in a comforting manner atop the skull. She smiled at it and gave it an affectionate nuzzle. The skull's red glowing eyes seemed to shimmer in happiness and it formed a watery smile.

The pegasus glared at her friends. "Why would you do that!" she scolded. She hugged the skull even closer to her body.

"Y-You kept it!" They both yelled. How could Chatterjoy keep a part of an enemy that had previously tried to kill them.

"Because he's a funny fellow! And kind! Something you two would learn if you would stop attacking first and ask questions later!" Chatterjoy retorted. She stood up and put the skull on her back where she began to toss him up and down. The skull didn't seem to mind but rather enjoyed it as he smiled and attempted to imitate laughter, despite being used as a hacky sack.

"You don't understand!" Jazzy said as she pulled a sledgehammer from the pile of things from Chatterjoy's bag. A brief thought of where did it come from and how it fit with all the other things crossed her mind briefly. Chatterjoy bravely stood her ground as the sledgehammer was about to crush Filler's skull.

"Hold on Jazzy! Think rationally about this!" Wordplay exclaimed. The unicorn attempted to fight Jazzy's control over the hammer, but tired from the previous journey, it only made the momentum for the swing that much stronger. Jazzy swung towards the skull that had fallen off of Chatterjoy's back.

CRACK!

Jazzy and Wordplay opened their eyes. They expected to see skull fragments everywhere, but not a single white shard was strewn about the grass field.

The sledgehammer had hit Chatterjoy's head instead. The unicorns and the skull gasped in shock and horror. The sound echoed throughout the area. Slowly a crack made itself apparent in the sledgehammer. The cracks spider webbed their way through the black metal till the head of the hammer shattered.

Chatterjoy stood up proudly and picked Filler back up. She smiled sweetly at her gawking friends. "H-How?" Wordplay managed to stutter out.

"It was a life sized candy sledgehammer! I mean a real one would have killed me. Duh! Every pony knows that! I mean why would I bring a real sledgehammer with me. Those things are heavy and dangerous. To bad about the candy. It was supposed to be licorice flavor too. Oh well," she sighed and continued to bounce on the path with Filler bouncing with her.

"Who carries a life sized candy sledgehammer!" The unicorns shouted to the heavens, unheard.

Author's Note:

I had gotten two questions yesterday, but I had been busy with Feather to Feather so I didn't update the questions. This one was Jazzy's.

"Chatterjoy vs. Sledgehammer!"

Chatterjoy can win against a candy one but not a real one everyone should know that. Anyway I hope you enjoy this one and the next one I'll be uploading soon.