You ask a question on the blog or if you've read the chapter and want to ask a question you can ask here on the story as well. I will make a short story answer for you.
Just a bunch of hilarious collections of answers and fun stuff! I hope you enjoy!
Current Challenges: What will I do with GAK? Productivity! Where have I been for the past 8 months?
Chatterjoy yawned as she woke up. The sun filtered its annoying golden rays into her bedroom. The mare hated the morning, it was always hardest to get out of bed and not just sleep for an eternity. The grumbling Pegasus crawled out of bed; she scooted across her cloud floor and to the door of her house.
It was a Sunday so Chatterjoy did not care about her appearance today at all. As far as she was concerned the only ponies that would likely see her, would only see her getting her mail. The white mare finally lifted herself from the floor since opening it required her to open it with her hooves.
Chatterjoy’s eyes were barely open as she walked to the mailbox that rested on the end of the cloud. Her eyes immediately shot open, no she had lied her mailbox rested on the ground near the edge of her cloud home. Chatterjoy sighed and flapped her wings to glide down to her destination.
Quickly opening it she grabbed the letter from inside, she noted it was from a friend of hers but not wanting to be out in the dreaded morning sun longer than she had to flew back to her house.
Once inside she set the letter on her table and pulled out some breakfast. She munched slowly and sleepily. As she finished her meal a knock sounded on her door.
“Coming!” Chatterjoy yelled irritably. She hated guests in the morning. Actually she hated everything about the morning. She opened the door and Rainbow Dash stood on the other side.
“Yo! Chatterjoy, we need a referee over at the Ponyville track!” Rainbow Dash said excitedly. The white Pegasus just stared at her blue opposite and slowly blinked. Rainbow Dash smiled awkwardly, “That means I’m asking you.”
Rainbow Dash swore she could have seen a light bulb light up over her head. Chatterjoy still continued to stare at the athletic pony across from her as if she was waiting for something. After what seemed like endless waiting Chatterjoy moved. The Pegasus had moved back into the house and silently closed the door on Rainbow Dash.
“Chatterjoy please! Other than Applejack you’re the only pony I can trust with this!” Rainbow Dash pleaded.
Chatterjoy did not respond and the moment Rainbow Dash was about to leave, the white mare opened her door again glaring.
“Fine, what time?” Chatterjoy growled. If it was going to be this morning, Tartarus help the pony that stood before her.
“This afternoon! Try not to break yourself before hoof okay?” Rainbow Dash asked and quickly flew off, most likely preparing for whatever she needed a referee for. Chatterjoy shrugged and went back inside.
Her autumn eyes quickly caught on to the letter she had carelessly thrown on the table. Sighing, she went and opened it.
Hey Chatters! Long time no chat eh? I was just eating and suddenly I had a question I just had to ask you! What is your favorite crossover?
Chatterjoy reread the question over and over. Her eyes bugged out of her head as she thought. She couldn’t think of an honest answer. The Labyrinth crossover was a good one but there were so many possibilities of a good crossover the good and favorites were limitless!
The next thing Chatterjoy registered in her mind was that she was in the hospital and Nurse Redheart had just been waving a hoof in front of her face.
“Glad to see you back with the living what happened?” asked the Nurse.
“What is my favorite crossover?” Chatterjoy asked.
“Dear, I wouldn’t know,” Nurse Redheart answered, scribbling on a form.
“I know the answers are limitless!” Chatterjoy exclaimed.
The next thing the Nurse knew was that she had heard a large thump on the floor as Chatterjoy laid on her back with stars fluttering around her head. She was muttering about crossovers and favorites.
Chatterjoy skipped down the road back home. It was a beautiful day and was made better when she found out that Jazzy would be visiting. The mare had recently bought some food for a picnic and she had instructed her friend to meet her here in the park in about thirty minutes, while she set things up.
Chatterjoy gasped when she saw two ponies up the road. They had taken her favorite spot for picnics and so she did the first thing any pony would do. Chatterjoy jumped into a bush and glared silently at the couple. Lifting the bush off the ground the pegasus tip hoofed towards her prey.
The couple were unsuspecting and only the stallion seemed to think something wrong, his blue eyes scanned the area for any pony who he felt was watching them. The stallion, Chatterjoy recognized him as Doctor Whooves, failed to notice the autumn eyes glaring at him, just inches away from him and the mare, Derpy.
Derpy remained unaware of any tension that was now being held in the park. While her date seemed nervous, Derpy snuggled ever closer.
"Do you feel like you're being watched Derpy?" Doctor Whooves asked. Derpy looked up at him and just shrugged confused with his behavior.
Chatterjoy smiled deviously when a voice whispered in her ear, "So what are we doing?" If it was not for the hoof that miraculously placed in her mouth, Chatterjoy would have screamed.
Doctor Whooves looked around and swiveled his ears. The stallion could have sworn that he heard a muffled scream.
"Did you hear a scream?"
"Nope."
The two sat there, one nervous and feeling some pony may need his help, the other calm and content to be with her lover.
Chatterjoy glared at Jazzy who had somehow gotten to the bush with her. She would not explain herself to some unicorn who thought they could sneak up on Chatterjoy! Instead the mare ignored the presence next to her and focused on the two lovebirds within her sight.
"Derpy I think-"
Doctor Whooves never finished his sentence as Derpy had caught his lips in a kiss. He blushed in surprise but realized the mare was just trying to calm his nerves and he returned it, grateful for the distraction.
Chatterjoy silently hissed in joy as her waiting paid off, the moment she was waiting for presented itself. Popping out of the bush Chatterjoy screamed at the top of her lungs, "EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWW!"
Derpy and Doctor Whooves jumped up screaming and ran out of the park.
Jazzy shook herself free from the bush and glared at the giggling pegasus.
"That was not nice Chatterjoy, you need to go apologize."
"Relax, its all in good fun!"
"Chatterjoy."
"They do make a good couple though."
"Chatterjoy."
"But kissing is gross though, think of all the bacteria you can spread, then you have the saliva, which if you think about it is drool-"
"CHATTERJOY!"
"WHAT!" The pegasus screamed back into Jazzy's ear.
"Go apologize now," Jazzy stamped her hoof into the ground her decision final. Chatterjoy sighed realizing that she wouldn't get the picnic if she didn't go apologize.
Just flapping the top part of her wings Chatterjoy dejectedly left the park looking for the two ponies she scared earlier.
Chatterjoy was practicing her penmanship; she was writing a letter to a very special some pony. It was life or death to make sure her mouth writing was elegant, and most importantly eligible. Everything had to be perfect in this letter, and one thing was always sure, Chatterjoy always messed up, it was inevitable, but not today. Today Chatterjoy would make the perfect letter, and she would send it.
Her brows furrowed in concentration, they quickly transitioned to anger. The mare crumpled up another piece of paper, and threw it over her shoulder to the ever growing pile of failed letters. Chatterjoy reached for another piece of paper only to find she had run out. The sun was setting, and she made a quick decision to go to the store before it closed. Chatterjoy grabbed her saddlebag and dashed out the door. She vaguely remembered having practiced one of her letters and putting it into her bag.
Chatterjoy flew as fast as her wings could carry her. She hoped to Celestia that the stallion, Ink Parchment had not closed his store. As the mare was flying she saw a blur whiz past her and head to the library. Her curiosity getting the better of her she followed the mysterious blur.
Chatterjoy hid in a cloud and saw the blur head into the library through the window. The lights were on and the white pegasus could hear voices. She recognized one as Princess Twilight and the other one was very familiar to her, if not a bit muffled. Flapping her wings the cloud scooted closer to where she could get a glimpse of the blur who had entered the library.
She choked down tears as she recognized the pony standing next to Princess Twilight. Not caring if the two ponies found out if she was there, Chatterjoy flew off faster than lightning. In her haste, a piece of parchment left her saddlebag and floated lazily down to the ground.
The two ponies in the library quieted down and took a peek outside, noticed the white pegasus retreating, and the paper she had left behind. A blue aura picked up the note and read it.
My beloved hero Princess Luna, You don't know me but my name is Chatterjoy. I imagine you get a lot of letters everyday, and probably won't ever get to this one. I just want you to know that I love admire you. I don't know why other ponies can't see you for how beautiful awesome you are. I also love your night, though I can't find the constellations to save my life. Is it true that you play video games? My brother Game Tap is great at it! Well, maybe because its his special talent. I hope you like the new era it must be different now since you were banished to the moon. Did you know I have a mini you in my bedroom? That was creepy. I just really want to say how much I admire you. I wish I could be like you. You are so graceful, I'm like a bumbling dragon, fire and everything.
Love Sincerely, Chatterjoy
Princess Luna blushed, she then looked at Princess Twilight.
"We have never felt like this before. She admires Us?"
Princess Twilight nodded, "Been trying to get that crazy mare to send her hero letter to you for months, I even offered to send it to you myself."
Both Princesses shared a laugh and Princess Luna lightly pecked Twilight on the lips.
Chatterjoy was sneaking around town; she was wearing a ninja outfit. Her subtlety did not go unnoticed by almost every pony in Ponyville. Chatterjoy's saddlebag was tightly secure to her body, and any pony who got to close to her felt her wrath as she would rear up and glare.
"Watch ya doing?" Pinkie Pie said sneaking up behind the not so sneaky ninja.
Chatterjoy screamed and took off straight ahead. She barreled over almost all ponies in her path in her mad dash to safety. The pegasus soon found herself face first into a pile of dirt when her scarf moved under her hooves and she tripped.
"What's the rush?" Pinkie Pie asked. The pink mare was suddenly hovering over Chatterjoy.
The pegasus screamed again, but this time she started to fly as fast as she could. The white mare was soon flying over the Everfree forest. Slowing down the mare noticed that she seemed to have lost Pinkie Pie, and she landed.
"Are you hiding your Princess Luna doll that you think no pony knows about?"
Once again screaming, Chatterjoy took off leaving leaves and dust in Pinkie Pie's mouth. The pink mare spat it out and began bouncing after her friend.
Out of breath Chatterjoy rested by the fountain in town square. No pony gave much thought on her attire and for that Chatterjoy was grateful.
"Oh Chatterjoy! You know I'll find it!" Pinkie Pie screamed randomly.
Chatterjoy sighed and let the pink mare bounce to her side.
"Where ya gonna hide it?" she asked.
Chatterjoy glanced around and made sure no passing ponies were close enough to hear.
"You have to Pinkie swear first."
"Cross my heart and hope to fly; stick a cupcake in my eye."
Chatterjoy leaned towards the pink mare's ear and was about to whisper her secret. Suddenly a realization hit her.
"I already hid it!"
Pinkie Pie gasped and then tilted her head as she thought about it.
"Yep that's a very good place to hide it then!"
"So where did thou hide it then?" A voice said. It seemed to emanate from the cloud above them.
"I can't remember!" Chatterjoy replied to the cloud, and she skipped away humming a happy tune.
"So close!"
"So very close We were."
Princess Luna emerged from the cloud, and she looked frustrated.
~A~
Chatterjoy lifted her muzzle and pulled out her doll.
"Good game mini Luna! I couldn't remember where I put you this time. I had to go back to Cloudsdale and ask Mom!"
Chatterjoy was munching on hay fries when a question suddenly hit her. Gobbling up the rest of her food in record time she flew to the library.
"Princess Twilight!" Chatterjoy yelled bursting the door open to the library without even bothering to knock.
The Princess was startled and a few of her feathers left her wings as proof of it.
"Chatterjoy! Do you not know how to knock?"
"I do to know how to knock! I just don't do it often because it is so much fun to startle ponies! When ponies get startled they usually make a funny face. I wasn't able to see your funny face because you were not facing me, which would mean I would not be able to see your face. I imagine you made a funny face, and it makes me wish I could see that funny face. That is a funny word you know that? Wish. Why do we wish for things? Wouldn't it be cool if every time I wished for something; I would get it?"
"Chatterjoy."
"Any way I came to ask you something but I guess I already did with the whole wish thing. Any way I was eating lunch when this question popped into my head, and I just had to know the answer. Then I was like if I need an answer go to the library, and if the library doesn't have the answer go to Princess Twilight because Princess Twilight will have the answer and she is always found at the library! Genius right? To bad others can't compare to it."
"Chatterjoy what question do you need answering," Twilight asked sighing, "So I can quickly get you out of here."
"Why would you want me to leave am I bothering you? Great! Cause I am BORED! Jazzy can be so boring sometimes did you know that? I bet you didn't? Well, any way I was wondering if you could answer this question for me!
"Get on with it please!"
Chatterjoy quickly went towards the Princess and whispered her question into her ear. Twilight's ears flicked occasionally as Chatterjoy continued to whisper. Finally, Twilight's face became a look of horror.
"Why would you want to know that!"
"Why not?"
"Just just no, Chatterjoy, no."
"Aw."
The pegasus left the library dejectedly, and Twilight shut the door gently behind her.
Before Chatterjoy had gone five feet another question popped into her head. This time she jumped back to the library and pounded on the door.
Chatterjoy cheerfully trotted to Golden Silence's house. The earth pony looked very intimidating to others but the pegasus had found out; she was nothing but a teddy bear on the inside.
Chatterjoy knocked on her house; in her mouth were treats she had brought for the occasion. It didn't take long for the black earth pony with golden mane and tail to answer the door.
"Hey."
"Hi Golden! How are you? I'm great by the way! I'm so glad you decided to hang out with me! Jazzy is being busy over at a concert in Canterlot, and you know how I have terrible separation issues. I am such a baby even though I don't look like one. Wait, no I do. Silly filly me! Any way I brought some chocolate chip cookies from Sugar Cube Corner! I know how you love cookies! Who doesn't? I don't know any pony who doesn't like cookies. Wouldn't that be a shame if there was a pony who didn't like cookies?"
"Sure and thanks."
The earth pony invited Chatterjoy in and showed her to the living room.
"Listen I have some things I need to do before we can officially hang out. You can just chill out here I guess and play Skyrim if you want."
"Aw. I guess I will if you say it is all right."
Golden Silence left the room and headed to her bedroom. Chatterjoy could hear some faint scribbling. Shrugging the pegasus turned the Playstation three on and put the Skyrim disk in.
She didn't have her own ps3 yet, but Chatterjoy vowed to save up enough bits to buy one of her own and to buy her own Skyrim game. She usually played the game while at her friend's house. Golden Silence loved to comment on her gaming skills.
By gaming skills Chatterjoy meant when faced with a random dragon throw the controller at Golden Silence and have her beat it for her. Chatterjoy sucked at Skyrim but she enjoyed playing it. Especially as a Khajit thief.
"Sorry thingie, guy, whatever you are but all your precious shiny monies are mine now!" Chatterjoy exclaimed pickpocketing the unsuspecting Windhelm guard.
"Are you talking to the game?" Golden Silence asked, as she walked back into the room.
"It makes it more entertaining."
"Of course."
"It does! Like I can't explain it but since AI sucks and all of that I feel like the only intelligent being in this forsaken wasteland of fun called Skyrim!"
"Intelligent, right."
"Its true!"
A dragon suddenly roared as Chatterjoy's character left Windhelm. Golden Silence felt a small bit of pain as Chatterjoy threw the controller in her face.
Chatterjoy was over in Canterlot visiting her friend Jazzy. Unfortunately, Jazzy had to practice for an upcoming concert.
The pegasus listened to the unicorn play her vibraphone. Every time Jazzy made a slight note mistake, she would start over from the beginning.
"Ugh! I am so bored!" Chatterjoy drawled out. She was unceremoniously spread out horizontally on Jazzy's chair.
"Then find something to amuse yourself with," Jazzy replied testing a note.
"You have nothing in your house to amuse me with! Golden Silence has Skyrim on the PS3. Pray tell, what do you have?"
"Pokemon."
Chatterjoy's eyes popped out at the mention of Pokemon. She tapped her hoof on her chin as she thought.
"I do love Pokemon. I have my own Pokemon games though, but I did leave them back in Ponyville."
"Not my problem," Jazzy sighed as she once again tested another note.
"I thought you were practicing for the concert."
"I was. Why?"
"I was just wondering why you would need to test notes."
"Because at the concert I need to make up my own song. I'm making a new song."
"Oh. I'm bored."
"Amuse yourself with something. Go play with your doll."
Chatterjoy's cheeks flushed in anger and embarrassment.
"Its a collectible, thingie, I don't play with dolls!"
"Then watch a movie."
"All your movies have Bowie, pony, guy, dude, in it! Or a musical. I prefer Disney." Chatterjoy retorted. Her cheeks were still flushed from the conversation about her Princess Luna doll.
"Then take a nap."
"Not tired."
"Go run or fly a few miles."
"Do I look like Rainbow Dash?" Chatterjoy asked, as she turned to glare at her unicorn friend.
"I would be scared if you were."
"Me too! Imagine if I was Rainbow Dash. I mean I talk fast enough as it is! What if I was as fast as Rainbow Dash is without having to have those Iron Will Bull energy drinks. I don't get those at all. Why are they called Iron Will. What does having Iron Will anything to do with energy? In fact why do ponies need energy drinks any way? I know we get tired as night approaches and stuff, but why?"
"Because Chatterjoy, unlike you other ponies get tired during work."
"Oh. Why is it exhausting? How is coming up with a new song exhuasting?"
"Its exhausting because I have to listen to my roommate complain about how bored she is."
Chatterjoy and Jazzy were in Cloudsdale. They were visiting Chatterjoy's parents, Smartfeather and Tuner, at the request of the latter. Chatterjoy had also made it a big deal to visit them. They had finally made it after Chatterjoy took a left at Whitetail Wood and had pulled the balloon, that Jazzy was in, all the way to Las Pegasus. After getting directions in Las Pegasus Chatterjoy messed up by flying all the way to Apploosa.
They had finally made it to Cloudsdale when Smartfeather had finally guided her daughter personally back to Cloudsdale. This was also so Chatterjoy wouldn't get lost in the huge city as well.
Chatterjoy's parents' house was medium sized and humble. Jazzy was surprised to find that Tuner, her father, was a unicorn. He was normal colored, as he had a brown coat with a black mane and tail with gray hairs. He had a moustache that also had gray. Jazzy being a musician was fairly interested in what Tuner did, as he fixed instruments. It was symbolized by the two white treble clefs.
Chatterjoy's little brother was also a unicorn, and he had a habit of being extremely sarcastic and anti-social. This was proven when Chatterjoy barraged his door with knocking when they arrived. Game Tap, his name, had growled at her and slammed the door into her face. Jazzy couldn't blame him though, since she would have done the same thing. She had found out later that he didn't like being disturbed when playing his games, as his cutie mark was a triangle button representing his talent for gaming.
Smartfeather had explained that the reason they could live in Cloudsdale was because of a spell she had managed to invent for her husband. It was similar to the cloudwalking spell Twilight had casted on Jazzy earlier. Tuner's wedding ring, it was hidden by his mane, was enchanted to walk on clouds. Jazzy would hate to have to wear a ring on her horn all the time, but the things you do for love. Game Tap had a medallion that had the same enchantment.
Jazzy noticed the red puzzle piece mark on Smartfeather's flank. When she had asked Smartfeather she replied that it represented her talent in being able to solve riddles and problems. This caused Jazzy to wonder what happened to Chatterjoy.
Speaking of the white pegasus she was jumping up and down everywhere. In fact her father was as well if but not a little slower.
"Um, well, thank you for having me Mrs. Smartfeather," Jazzy said trying to get over her shock. Now she knew where Chatterjoy got her...self from. Looking at Smartfeather more closely she could see the resemblance, though Smartfeather's mane and tail were neater.
Game Tap had finally exited his room and he held no resemblance to the rest of his family except the white coat that both Chatterjoy and him seemed to have gotten from their mother. Jazzy couldn't place where he got his blue eyes. Chatterjoy later explained it was from their grandfathers.
After family introductions Jazzy brought out a game she liked as a filly. Apples to Apples it was called and finally convincing Chatterjoy that it was not a game about eating, getting to eat apples, or trying to merge two apples together was able to explain the rules.
They were on their third round of Apples to Apples. Jazzy had to admit she was worried that Chatterjoy might take longer to get the hang of the game, but she proved Jazzy wrong.
"Aw to Tartarus with it!" Game Tap exclaimed as he threw a card down.
"Blurb." Chatterjoy said throwing down another card.
"Uh what?" Jazzy looked up confused, "Blurb? Really?"
"It's not a bad word!" Chatterjoy exclaimed looking at her mother worriedly as if she had said one.
Smartfeather rolled her eyes, and she threw one of her cards down. Jazzy picked them up and looked at the answers.
"This one is just funny!" she exclaimed happily.
"BLURB! I mean YAY!" Chatterjoy jumped up into the air.
The hyper pegasus had a huge growing pile of winnings but her mother wasn't far behind. Jazzy could almost say they were tied.
"Where is this blurb coming from?" Jazzy asked as she drew a card from the pile.
"Blurb?"
"Yes, blurb. B-l-u-r-b. Blurb."
"Uh...blurb?"
"Yes, where does IT come from?" Jazzy was starting to get irritated. Chatterjoy could be a lot of things but normally not this dense.
"Blurb." Chatterjoy stuck her tongue out.
"Hey ya'll," Tuner said walking from the master bedroom. He had gone to take a nap after the second round. Smartfeather was actually holding his spot. She had made a vast improvement in his winnings.
"Hi dad!" Chatterjoy exclaimed drawing a card.
"Who is winning?"
"I don't know sir, Chatterjoy and Mrs. Smartfeather almost seem tied."
"That about figures," Tuner replied.
"Sir?"
"Smartfeather and Chatterjoy usually end up like this. Unless it is trivia, then Smartfeather whoops all our flanks."
The entire family let out some laughs and Tuner rejoined the game.
"Blurb." Chatterjoy said throwing down another card.
"Blurb." Said Tuner winking at his daughter.
Jazzy tried not to make a face.
"Really? You guys are so immature." Game Tap said throwing down one of his cards.
"Says the one who growls like a timberwolf when I knock on his door." Chatterjoy rebuked sticking her tongue out at her brother. Game Tap responded with spitting at his sister. Chatterjoy did the same.
"You two get anymore spit on the table and by Celestia I will lock you both in the same room."
The siblings immediately put their tongues back into their mouths but continued to glare at each other from across the table. Jazzy chose another answer and this time Tuner grabbed the winnings.
More rounds went by and every time Chatterjoy played a card she would say blurb. Was it a good luck word. Knowing Chatterjoy it probably was. Jazzy felt like a moron. When it came to her friend nothing ever had a reason. She would just do it.
For now she would focus on the game.
"I WIN!" Chatterjoy yelled doing a victory dance. Jazzy had noticed they ran out of cards and the others had counted their winnings.
Golden Silence had the white pegasus pinned on the ground. She had asked for the earth pony to teach her some wrestling moves. The earth pony had eagerly agreed, but when Jazzy watched the two she couldn't help but think that Golden Silence was having fun beating up Chatterjoy.
She would deserve it after all. The pegasus was a bit eccentric and for the quiet earth pony, Chatterjoy could be quite annoying.
"Then when the opponent is in the position turn around and do this!" Chatterjoy screamed as pain shot through her wing. Her body was not used to being twisted into a pretzel and she was sure the earth pony was enjoying every minute.
"Ugh...You're...enjoying...ThIS!"
"Every minute."
Chatterjoy let out a whimper as Golden Silence "demonstrated" another move. Jazzy couldn't help but snicker, as Chatterjoy let out another painful moan.
Finally after Golden Silence's demonstration of wrestling she let the pegasus go. Chatterjoy didn't move from the ground though, and it caused both the unicorn and the earth pony to draw closer.
"I know your weak, but I didn't think that weak," Golden Silence commented.
Chatterjoy made a sound, and she attempted to get up. Once she was secure on all four legs she made a come hither motion with a foreleg. Golden SIlence came over and once she was in reach, Chatterjoy punched her as hard as she could.
It didn't faze Golden Silence in the least, and Chatterjoy had a smug grin on her face.
"I was able to hit you!"
"And now you will pay!" Golden Silence launched herself at the pegasus and soon began to "demonstrate" wrestling moves again.
Chatterjoy stared intently at a unicorn standing in front of her. The new unicorn was purple with a light blue and sea green mane and tail. Her cutie mark was a quill in an inkwell with a piece of parchment. She looked nervous as the pegasus continued to stare directly at her.
"Um..." the unicorn said, as she turned her gaze around to stare at anything but Chatterjoy. "Can I help you Chatterjoy?" The unicorn plastered a smile on her face.
"Yes, I am so glad you asked! You see I've been working on something for a very long time! I had been thinking forever on who could help me, and I thought who better than you! After all you have a cutie mark which qualifies you as one who could help me with super duper extremely terrible problem! Oh, and you're my friend!"
The unicorn could only stare at her friend, as she tried to comprehend what Chatterjoy had told her.
"And what problem would that be Chatterjoy?" the unicorn asked, "And just answer the question please. I don't think I could handle another...episode."
"Well, just follow me."
"Fine."
The unicorn followed Chatterjoy all the way to her house. The unicorn looked shocked and Chatterjoy hovered to her home.
"Aren't you coming?" Chatterjoy asked as she looked down at the unicorn. The unicorn pointed to her horn with a bored look on her face. "Guess unicorns aren't really the master race huh?" The unicorn growled in response. "I'll be just a moment."
Strange sounds emanated from Chatterjoy's house, including the mooing of a cow. Finally the pegasus emerged and a piece of parchment was in her mouth.
"Since your name is Wordplay figured you could help me. You know since your talent is writing and mine is just talking. I enjoy writing though, but my grammar is terrible! Jazzy is over in Canterlot, and I'm a little mad at her, since she is doing fun stuff without me. She is usually the one that checks my grammar. And-"
Wordplay used her magic to seal Chatterjoy's lips with a zipper. "I get it Chatterjoy, so let me see what you have." She unzipped the calmer Chatterjoy's lips, and grabbed the paper with her mouth. On it was a fanfiction about Princess Luna and Twilight. Interesting plot line, but she would edit it anyway.
As Wordplay read her fanfiction, Chatterjoy stared unblinking at her friend. The unicorn looked up from her reading to stare back awkwardly at the pegasus.
Chatterjoy dipped her hooves in black paint. She wiped them across her face and made a war face. She opened her drawer to it being full of bright red scarves. She tied one around her face and she ran in front of the mirror. It looked weird to see the red bandana around her face as well as her neck, but she shrugged and went through out her house looking for items.
Nothing else was to be found in her house to add to her costume. She frowned beneath her scarf. A lightbulb flashed above her head, as she got an idea. She hid in a cloud and silently guided it to Rarity's shop. She failed to notice all the ponies looking at the cloud suspiciously.
Rarity was busy creating her new dress, and was too busy to notice the pegasus slip out of the cloud and enter through the open window. Chatterjoy opened many drawers in the room till she found the item she was looking for. The pegasus failed to notice Rarity watching and glaring her.
Chatterjoy pulled out black socks and put them on her feet. As the pegasus struggled with the last sock she finally noticed Rarity glaring at her. In her magic was a water spray bottle, and once Chatterjoy noticed the impending danger the unicorn began to spray her.
"Hisssssss!" Chatterjoy screamed. She flew out the window with only three black socks on her hooves.
"And stay away you sock thief!" Rarity yelled behind her. Chatterjoy had already chosen a new cloud to hide in and was floating away.
Her costume was almost complete. She floated her cloud to Fluttershy's cottage. The shy pegasus stared suspiciously at the cloud. She lightly screamed when she saw Chatterjoy slip from the cloud. She headed into the chicken coop and the chickens began to panic.
Fluttershy startled ran to Ponyville screaming about a chicken devouring monster.
Chatterjoy came out from the coop with a long beautiful rooster feather in her mouth. She grinned evilly and flew into her cloud. She floated to Ponyville to see the town in a panic. When the town saw the cloud they began to scream about the chicken devouring monster.
"Its come to eat us too!"
"Its gotten tired of eating chickens!"
"Quick! Feed it Scootaloo!"
"Hey!"
Twilight teleported into the middle of Ponyville. "Everypony remain calm! It is not going to eat you. Are you Chatterjoy?"
The pegasus came out disappointed. "How did you know? My disguise was-"
"Terrible." Twilight deadpanned. The pegasus was horribly mismatched. "Why did you attack Fluttershy's chickens?"
Chatterjoy looked horrified. "Attack chickens? Such adorable squeaky cuddly birds! That poop everywhere and are so much fun? I just wanted a feather! No ninja is complete without a weapon. The best weapon of course is a feather!"
Ponyville groaned in unison and went back to whatever they happened to be doing before Fluttershy had her panic attack. Twilight face hoofed.
"Apologize for startling everypony."
"I startled everypony? Wow I am a great ninja if I startled them!"
Chatterjoy stood staring at Sugarcube corner. Drool leaked from her mouth.
"She has been staring at the corner for hours now!" Spike said to Nurse Redheart. The Nurse began to write down notes on her pad at what Spike said. She began to poke and prod at the pegasus. No reaction came from Chatterjoy and the Nurse scribbled down some more notes.
"So delicious..." Chatterjoy mumbled. The nurse looked up from her writing to focus on Chatterjoy.
"I think we need to get her to the hospital ASAP," The nurse said looking at Spike. "Do you think you could get Applejack to help carry her there. All our stretcher are currently...elsewhere." Spike looked at the nurse weirdly, but went to do as she asked.
"I just want to take a nice little BITE!" The nurse jumped up at Chatterjoy's random outburst. The pegasus didn't notice and flew straight to the building. She gave it a nice big lick on the roof. Licking her lips she thought about something briefly before she started to swallow whole shingles.
The nurse gasped, "Help some pony help! Chatterjoy has lost it!" She attempted to reach Chatterjoy, but the pegasus was already on the other side of the roof swallowing shingles.
Twilight happened to be walking down the road to get a treat when she noticed the commotion. Chatterjoy had finished the shingles and was attempting to chew off the roof.
"What the hay is going on?" Twilight asked, her wings ruffled.
"Chatterjoy started staring at Sugarcube Corner and then randomly started to eat it," replied Golden Harvest.
The nurse continued to attempt to get Chatterjoy to stop eating the building. The pegasus flew up out of the nurses reach only to hold her stomach in pain.
"Ugh...my stomach hurts so bad...and there is a terrible taste in my mouth...that was not such a good idea. It just looked so...so...tasty!" The pegasus missed a wing beat and fell to the ground, hard. Ponyville gasped in horror.
"Is she okay?"
"What do you think she ate the roof of Sugarcube Corner and crashed to the ground."
"I'm okay every pony!" Chatterjoy slurred, as she shakily stood up. The nurse was able to steady her.
"You need to get to the hospital," the nurse said disapprovingly. Applejack pushed through the crowd. When she saw Chatterjoy she shook her head and frowned.
They were able to get the pegasus into the cart. She was still groaning in pain.
"I feel so sick!"
"That tends to happen when you eat the entire roof of Sugarcube Corner." The nurse said walking next to the pegasus. Chatterjoy looked at her.
"I ate the roof of Sugarcube Corner? I need to work on my eating skills. You should have seen me when I tried to eat the entire Ice Cream Palace. Ugh."
Morning in Ponyville shimmers, morning in Ponyville shines....
Wordplay trotted down the main street of Ponyville, enjoying the fact that the pegasi had apparently done their jobs that morning. Not a cloud was in the sky. Though typically the purple unicorn did enjoy a good rainy day (especially when there was a good amount of thunder and lightning; It makes for a great atmosphere for writing), but she did have to admit that today was absolutely gorgeous. She was on her way to buy some more quills: she seemed to go through them so quickly. But novel writing takes a lot of resources, and Wordplay knew that at this point in her life she had probably stripped at least two birds of their foliage just to outfit her quill need.
But today was a beautiful day to be outside. The birds were singing, the sun is shining, and there were ponies screaming.
Wait, there were ponies screaming?
Wordplay's ideas for the perfect morning vaporized into thin air as she became aware of the sight of dozens of ponies running for what seemed to be their lives down Ponyville's main street.
"Run!" she heard one scream. "Run! Get out of the way!"
Wordplay looked slightly confused and glanced around. As far as she could tell, she couldn't see anything.
"The way of what?" the purple unicorn asked. But no pony gave her any answer.
Fortunately, she didn't have to wait long.
The sound came first, like a roar of thunder and a strange, hollow bouncing sound. Wordplay watched with wide eyes as a huge, free rolling bass drum bounced and rolled its way down the street. Behind it came two smaller drums and a marimba. Wordplay shuddered at the sight of the musical instruments rolling freely through the street. Her special talent may have been writing, but she'd been a percussionist in an orchestra back when she'd been in school in Canterlot. She knew how much those instruments cost.
A few band ponies ran off down the street after their loose instruments, crying in vain to try and get somepony to stop them before they became even more damaged. No pony could, though, and they rolled on in a unending journey to some unknowable final destination....
That would make for a good line in my novel.... Wordplay thought, momentarily distracted amongst the chaos.
Chaos which ended fairly abruptly. The percussion instruments metaphorical journey was quickly ended with the help from an overturned cart, which, undeniably, tends to be how many events in Ponyville come to their inevitable head. The drums hit the cart (excluding the marimba, which sort of just went "thunk" and stood still) flew into the air, and rained down on Ponyville not unlike blessing falling from the sky. Terrible, heavy, musical blessings.
They landed ungracefully atop the store's roof several hundred feet away, which, like many stores do in Ponyville when threatened with eminent danger, collapsed.
Wordplay winced.
"I hope the Ponyville hospital has plenty of stretchers...." she murmured to herself.
Chatterjoy walked down the path to the library. She was currently discharged from the hospital, but Twilight wanted her to stay with someone for a little bit, so she wouldn't get anymore ideas about eating buildings. Her stomach was still hurting quite a bit, and the poor pegasus could barely eat anything at all.
Chatterjoy stopped to hold her stomach for a little bit, when an earth pony that was pink with a floral pattern walked passed her. The pegasus thought nothing of it, and she continued to her destination.
"At lease Princess Twilight will have lots of things to read!" Chatterjoy said to herself. She was suddenly excited about reading tons of books and turned her gait into a trot. "Books, books, book, I'm going to read some books!" Chatterjoy sang prancing down the path.
"I like books too!" said a pink earth pony with the same floral cutie mark, as the pony before her. Chatterjoy stopped in her tracks. Didn't she just see this pony?
"Who doesn't?" Chatterjoy asked. Unfortunately, soon after Chatterjoy asked the question four other ponies that looked exactly the same, as the one who talked to her appeared. The began to talk all at once to the pegasus. "What? I can't understand you! You guys are talking at the same time. Please only one at a time!"
Chatterjoy's pleas went unheard, as the army of this pink earth pony assaulted her ears.
"Chatterjoy wake up!" cold water splashed on the quivering pegasus. She was where she was the moment she passed that pink earth pony with the floral cutie mark. That same earth pony was hovering above her head with a worried expression on her face.
"You, five, there were five of you!" Chatterjoy exclaimed pointing at the earth pony. "You were all talking at once, and I couldn't understand you."
"Chatterjoy, you passed out the moment she passed you. Poor Flora ran all the way to my library to tell me what happened. When I arrived you were having some sort of nightmare." Twilight said removing the bucket that was once filled with water.
"Princess Twilight?" Chatterjoy asked looking at the Princess, "Aren't you supposed to be in the library?" Princess Twilight rolled her eyes and shrugged her wings to Flora. "Yes, Chatterjoy I am. Let's get you to the library shall we?" Twilight took her wing and guided the shaken pegasus to her library.
Chatterjoy turned her head to gaze at Flora to see five of the same pony talking together. Her eyes widened and she gulped turning herself around. She would keep this insanity to herself.
"By the way, Chatterjoy, nice to know that you have nightmares on not being able to understand somepony."
"-And then we defeated this big awesome octopus monster it was absolutely amazing!" Chatterjoy rambled. Her friends, Wordplay and Jazzy Mellows followed tiredly behind her. The pegasus had been retelling the story of one of their adventures, but who she was talking to remained a mystery to the unicorns.
"Chatterjoy, pray tell, who are you talking to?" Jazzy asked. The unicorn trotted up to the pegasus in curiosity. Wordplay remained behind slowly dragging her hooves. "You've been talking for hours, and we already know this story," Jazzy attempted to explain. Chatterjoy gained a hurt expression at the unicorn's question.
When the pegasus moved a tiny bit away from Jazzy, Wordplay noticed that one side of Chatterjoy's saddle bag was opened. "Chatterjoy, your bag is open. You better close it," Wordplay said. She didn't want any of her friend's things flying out.
"It's fine!" the pegasus called back to her. She trotted ahead of Jazzy and began talking again. "Don't worry about them. I can't believe they forgot about you! I mean seriously! Oh well, if they forgot then they'll just have to remember," Chatterjoy said. The bag slightly moved and caught Wordplay's attention.
"Are you hiding yet another animal in the bag?" Wordplay accused as she straightened up and glared at the pegasus. "You're almost as bad as Fluttershy with animals and it's not even your special talent!" Chatterjoy ignored the unicorn and took to the air, mumbling about how the silent treatment never fails.
"Gah!" Wordplay sighed. The pegasus was so stubborn and failed to realize that not every pony could understand how her mind worked. Those associated with laughter always seemed to be a totally different species of ponies. They always did something that normal ponies could only dream of doing, or achieve by many years of practice.
"Chatterjoy! Get back here!" Jazzy yelled. When the pegasus ignored her the concert unicorn grew increasingly irritated. "I am going to count to three and you better be down on the ground when I'm done!" Jazzy warned.
"One!"
Chatterjoy just flew a little faster causing Jazzy and Wordplay to start galloping to keep up with her.
"Two!"
Both unicorns were now galloping so fast sweat began to gather on their coats, but Chatterjoy refused to listen to them and just kept flying.
"Three!"
When Chatterjoy failed to land, Jazzy lighted her horn in its light blue aura. Chatterjoy jerked forward and missed a flap as her tail was caught in a levitation field. The open bag spilled its contents upon the earth in a heap. Upon it were useless things one wouldn't think of bringing on a trip in the wilderness.
Balls, apples, cupcakes, knitting needles, yarn of different colors, a skull of a pony, song sheets, a microphone...what? Jazzy and Wordplay let out a scream at the sight of the skull that came from her bag. Chatterjoy quickly flew down and hugged it.
"Don't worry Filler those mean ponies won't hurt you! I'm sorry you fell," Chatterjoy soothed. She was rubbing her hoof in a comforting manner atop the skull. She smiled at it and gave it an affectionate nuzzle. The skull's red glowing eyes seemed to shimmer in happiness and it formed a watery smile.
The pegasus glared at her friends. "Why would you do that!" she scolded. She hugged the skull even closer to her body.
"Y-You kept it!" They both yelled. How could Chatterjoy keep a part of an enemy that had previously tried to kill them.
"Because he's a funny fellow! And kind! Something you two would learn if you would stop attacking first and ask questions later!" Chatterjoy retorted. She stood up and put the skull on her back where she began to toss him up and down. The skull didn't seem to mind but rather enjoyed it as he smiled and attempted to imitate laughter, despite being used as a hacky sack.
"You don't understand!" Jazzy said as she pulled a sledgehammer from the pile of things from Chatterjoy's bag. A brief thought of where did it come from and how it fit with all the other things crossed her mind briefly. Chatterjoy bravely stood her ground as the sledgehammer was about to crush Filler's skull.
"Hold on Jazzy! Think rationally about this!" Wordplay exclaimed. The unicorn attempted to fight Jazzy's control over the hammer, but tired from the previous journey, it only made the momentum for the swing that much stronger. Jazzy swung towards the skull that had fallen off of Chatterjoy's back.
CRACK!
Jazzy and Wordplay opened their eyes. They expected to see skull fragments everywhere, but not a single white shard was strewn about the grass field.
The sledgehammer had hit Chatterjoy's head instead. The unicorns and the skull gasped in shock and horror. The sound echoed throughout the area. Slowly a crack made itself apparent in the sledgehammer. The cracks spider webbed their way through the black metal till the head of the hammer shattered.
Chatterjoy stood up proudly and picked Filler back up. She smiled sweetly at her gawking friends. "H-How?" Wordplay managed to stutter out.
"It was a life sized candy sledgehammer! I mean a real one would have killed me. Duh! Every pony knows that! I mean why would I bring a real sledgehammer with me. Those things are heavy and dangerous. To bad about the candy. It was supposed to be licorice flavor too. Oh well," she sighed and continued to bounce on the path with Filler bouncing with her.
"Who carries a life sized candy sledgehammer!" The unicorns shouted to the heavens, unheard.
Chatterjoy felt like she could fly forever. Granted she was a pegasus and could already fly, but she felt the stamina and strength of an earth pony flowing through her veins. She even felt that she could cast a spell and be anywhere in the world she would want to be. She could visit the beach if she wanted to!
Her mother, Smartfeather always said that she could do whatever she wanted if she wished for it really hard and put in the effort to accomplish it. Chatterjoy decided to take her mother's advice and she wished. And she wished. And she wished. The pegasus closed her eyes and continue to chant her wish in her mind like a little prayer. She was concentrating so hard she almost forgot to flap, but she managed to correct herself.
A yellow flash enveloped her being and when the pegasus opened her eyes she was standing on the beach. She felt the sand beneath her hooves. She had never been on a beach before! She was so happy that it came true. She didn't even care how she managed to get here. Her friends were already at the beach playing with a ball.
"Hey guys!" She called. She began to trot quickly over to their location. Her feet almost tangled with themselves, but she managed to make it to them. Her friends gawked at her and whispered amongst themselves. "So...can I play? What are you playing?" Chatterjoy asked. She felt awkward with them just staring at her.
"Well, just don't pop the ball," Stargazer said. He was an earth pony and Jazzy's coltfriend. She didn't think he like her much. Truth be told she didn't either. He was nice, but she could get so jealous.
"I won't," Chatterjoy replied, "How would I even do that anyway?" The others looked at themselves again before turning to stare weirdly at Chatterjoy. "Well are we gonna play or not?" Chatterjoy asked stamping a hoof on the ground nervously.
"We were just wondering how you found us," Godwin stated, "We didn't tell you that we would be here." Godwin was a griffon and he usually stated what he thought when he deemed it necessary, but this time he seemed to accidentally spill the beans.
"I just wished to be at the beach with my friends really really hard and it happened!" Chatterjoy exclaimed.
Wordplay slapped Godwin and then turned to Chatterjoy. "Truth be told Chatterjoy we don't want hang out with an Alicorn. You'll just attract the negative attention more than usual."
"What? Is that what you guys all think of me?"
None of her friends gave her reply.
"I'm not even an Alicorn. Don't leave me!"
Chatterjoy screamed and then fell out of her bed. "Oh Celestia! That was awful! I never ever want to be an Alicorn! Who would want to have all that power anyway. Besides if I ended up becoming an Alicorn I would probably doom the world with my uncontrollable powers."
The white pegasus untangled herself from her sheets and walked to her vanity. A bowl of water lay there and she splashed her face with it. She lifted her bangs to make sure she wasn't still dreaming and only found a nub there.
"I must of gotten this bump from falling off the bed," Chatterjoy said to herself. Silly Chatterjoy forgot she lived in a cloud.
Fear. It is a feeling that grabs us all and holds on, never letting go of you. Fear makes you squirm and beg for mercy. Fear makes you hide till your heartbeat calms down. Fear resides in everyone but for some it is harder to reveal. Sometimes so hard that even others think one may not be controlled by fear. Only one truth remains. Fear attacks...everyone.
Wordplay contemplated her thoughts. She had written them on paper. For the life of the unicorn though she didn't know why she had the sudden urge to write this down. A pony came to mind when she reread her paragraph. Chatterjoy.
"That silly pegasus has to be afraid of something! I'll find out what it is. I mean how hard can it be to find what she is most afraid of?" Wordplay mused to herself. She put her quill and ink away. She left the parchment to dry of its newly written ink while she grabbed a saddle bag. She would go to the store to buy some supplies. After all a good research project required a good bag full of supplies.
True to her word the unicorn had stuffed her bag with as much as she could. Snakes, spiders, bones, paper, a quill, some portable ink, and other things that the pegasus might be startled and scared of. "With this I am sure to find what makes her squeal in terror!" Wordplay exclaimed menacingly rubbing her hooves together.
The unicorn stalked around Ponyville in search of her sky bound friend. Wordplay spotted her in the park. She was chasing a butterfly. The butterfly seemed to be actually enjoying it as it would flutter around the pegasus causing her to spin in circles before going back on course.
Now was her chance. She took the plastic spider and some fake webs used for Nightmare Night and while the pegasus was doing one of her turns she used her magic to lay a trap of webs with the spider laying upon it. Her plan seemed to work, for the butterfly not paying attention managed to lodge itself in the web.
"Oh no! Flutter! You okay?" Chatterjoy asked bouncing up to the captured butterfly. Chatterjoy noticed the spider that had been placed upon the web. "You wouldn't mind letting my friend go would you?" Chatterjoy asked the plastic toy, "You would? That's great!" Chatterjoy said after a pause. She freed the butterfly and they both went about their way.
"What! I-I don't...what? No. Just...No," Wordplay said to herself in shock. "That was a total dud. How do you even?! Gah!" The unicorn grunted in anger. She cleaned up her trap and threw it away into the nearest trashcan. "I'm afraid of spiders and most ponies are! Gah! I'm not done yet. I will figure out the mystery of Chatterjoy's fear!
Wordplay continued to stalk Chatterjoy throughout Ponyville. Seeing her head to Sugarcube Corner, Wordplay knew that she would have to come out so she curled a snake right next to the opening of the building. Chatterjoy would have to be able to see it. Wordplay waited. And she waited. And waited some more. The sun had moved away from the early morning hours to the blistering noon.
She stifled a yawn, and she jumped when the pegasus bounced out from the building. Wordplay was correct, because Chatterjoy had spotted the snake. Instead of screaming and taking off like Wordplay had hoped she would do, the pegasus reached into her basket and pulled out a cupcake.
"Here you go Mr. Slinky! You looked pretty lonely just curled up her next to the door. I figured you would want a friend. I can't stay long but have a cupcake! Your day will get better soon!" Chatterjoy said to the toy snake. The snake itself looked realistic so the pegasus shouldn't have been able to tell the difference at first glance.
"Did...she just name a toy...snake?" Wordplay asked herself. Her eyes almost bulged from her head in disbelief. "How? What? You know what? I'm not surprised anymore! I'm not!" the unicorn yelled to the sky. The villagers looked at her weirdly, and Wordplay just smiled and teleported away.
She didn't go far, as Sugarcube Corner was still in sight. The unicorn saw another pony exit the building. This time she screamed and swatted the snake away. She ran in terror through town screaming about a snake causing the town to panic.
Later in the day, Wordplay had gone through all the tricks she could afford. She had a pegasus imitate thunder. Chatterjoy merely said hello to pegasus helping her. Wordplay created a crime scene with gore, guts, and a decapitated body. Chatterjoy just took a picture and hummed to herself. Wordplay locked her in a tight box. Chatterjoy had somehow escaped it.
Wordplay sat at home thinking about the different strategies and how they went wrong when she heard knocking on her door. Using her magic, Wordplay opened the door to see Chatterjoy smiling at her. In her mouth was a stack of papers.
"Hello! How are you? I'm great! I met a spider, a snake, a new pegasus friend, and other things to! It was a great day. I also gave my cupcake to the snake too! He seemed to enjoy it. I just wish that Daisy didn't smack him. That was just rude. Anyway I wanted you to take a look at the story I'm writing to correct it and such. You're a writer and all, so I figured that you would be able to help me!"
Wordplay's head was spinning, but she managed to focus long enough to hear her friend's request. She grasped the papers with her magic and began to carefully read them. Out of the corner of her eye she noticed Chatterjoy pacing around with a nervous look in her eye. No...not nervous. Terrified.
"What's wrong Chatterjoy?" the unicorn asked looking up from the papers curiously.
"I'm just terrified that you won't like it..." the pegasus mumbled back.
Fear is within every one. For some it is physical like spiders, snakes, and tight spaces. For others, it is intangible. For Chatterjoy it was the fear of disappointing someone. Particularly her friends and family.
A spider crawled in front of Wordplay's view causing her to screech and teleport into Chatterjoy's arms. The poor pegasus caught by surprise grunted and strained but managed to keep her barely above the floor.
Chatterjoy was skipping through town. Today was payday and she knew exactly where she was gonna spend her money! Well, after she paid rent for her house being over Sweet Apple Acres, grocery shopping, taxes, paying Jazzy back after she lost a bet with her, and other necessities.
The young pegasus was currently working two jobs. Her main job was still providing the necessary amount of water for the apple trees back at the farm and the other was a tutoring job that Wordplay and Jazzy had found for her. The two knew she wanted to be a teacher, but Ponyville was too small to have a need for two teachers. Instead she tutored foals that came to her for help.
Chatterjoy was extremely glad and what was even better was that her tutor job was paid by the government since not every family could afford a tutor.
Chatterjoy's mind continued to be in a daze as she skipped towards Town Hall where she would receive her pay. The pegasus was so out of it she didn't notice the unicorn walking in front of her until it was too late.
Crash! The two ponies were now entangled with each other. Chatterjoy moved her head to see who she had crashed into. It was a brown unicorn with a dark gray mane and tail. His eyes hinted annoyance at the position they were in.
"Excuse me," Chatterjoy chirped smiling, "I'm afraid I was in a bit of daze when I crashed into you! That happens all of the time! My friends get on to me constantly for it. You're not hurt are you? I hope not! That would be bad if you were hurt and got sent to the hospital. I went to the hospital once because I attempted to eat Sugarcube Corner. Have you ever attempted to eat a building that looked so delicious. Well, don't do it because it doesn't taste delicious!"
The unicorn beneath her grunted and teleported. The action caused Chatterjoy to land uncomfortably on the ground. "Pardon me," the unicorn said. "You should watch where you are going next time. Most ponies don't like being run into," he advised.
Chatterjoy managed to stand up and smile, "Oh everypony knows that! But I can't help it! Have you ever had a habit that you tried to break? I have and its what I just did today, which was walking around in a daze. Do you know how hard of a habit that is to break? It's super hard!"
The unicorn shook his head, "You'll have to excuse me. I must get to Town Hall." The unicorn began to walk to the center of town. He heard hooves behind him and he turned his head to spy Chatterjoy bouncing behind him with her eyes closed and smiling. "It might help others if you had your eyes open."
"I know! But its not as fun to bounce with eyes opened!" Chatterjoy responded but still opened her eyes to look at the unicorn. "I'm Chatterjoy by the way! I bet you can guess why I am named that! Why are you heading to Town Hall? I'm heading there to get paid. Then I'm gonna pay rent, taxes, my friend for beating me in a bet, groceries, and other necessities and then I'm going to go to this cool new store that has all this cool stuff. I can't remember what it is called though."
That stallion rolled his eyes but managed a small smile. "No, I can't imagine why. My name is Legion and I am heading towards Town Hall to get paid as well. What do you work as?" He slowed his pace to allow the pegasus to bounce up next to him.
"How is it hard to imagine why? Oh well, some ponies just can't handle it. Anyway, I have two jobs, my first is supplying enough water for the apple trees over in Sweet Apple Acres. They're a really nice family! My other job is tutoring small foals. Right now I'm only tutoring one filly. Her name is Applebloom. And guess what! Applebloom is one of the Apple family that I work for! Isn't that cool?"
"It sure is," Legion replied. They arrived at Town Hall. A huge line had accumulated.
"This sure is a long line," Legion commented to Chatterjoy. The unicorn didn't get a response though and once he turned around Chatterjoy wasn't next to him. "I wonder where she went?"
In the next few minutes he saw the pegasus bouncing down the road away from Town Hall with what looked like a paycheck in her mouth. Hesitating he finally left the line to see how she had gotten it so quickly.
"Chatterjoy! How did you...?" he panted. The pegasus just smiled at him.
"That's the line for bargaining. Every payday Ponyville holds some sort of auction. Celestia knows why! No seriously she does. Anyway the line for getting your paycheck is over there!" Chatterjoy pointed to a line with only four or five ponies in line. "I thought you knew but I didn't want to lose my place in line when I saw that you didn't follow me. Plus I thought you might have wanted to pay a bet."
"What? But? An auction? I just? No. Forget it. I'm going to go get my paycheck. I'll catch up with you later," Legion said.
Chatterjoy was currently staying with Jazzy over in Canterlot. As usual, Jazzy had to locate the lost pegasus. Chatterjoy had managed to make it to the Crystal Empire before getting to Canterlot. The pegasus just refused to use trains, and it irritated the unicorn to no end.
"Chatterjoy, why won't you just use the trains?" Jazzy asked. She was currently brushing her mane. The both of them were getting ready to go to a fancy breakfast. By fancy, Chatterjoy translated as going to Donut Joe's.
"Just cause!" Chatterjoy replied stubbornly.
Jazzy only sighed, and when she was satisfied with how she looked she turned over to look at Chatterjoy. "Seriously? Please, for the love of Celestia you are not even going to try to brush your mane?" Chatterjoy shook her head defiantly. Jazzy took it upon herself to brush her friend's mane. The pegasus' mane and tail wouldn't stay perfect but at least it would be mostly tangle free. "Oh, Chatterjoy, don't forget that I have to take my medicine this morning. Can you remind me, okay?"
Chatterjoy giggled and then replied, "Don't forget to take your medicine this morning Jazzy." The unicorn rolled her eyes. They both headed out the door and began their walk towards Donut Joe's.
The walk was mostly uneventful. Jazzy said hello to a couple of passerby's who knew her by watching her concerts. Chatterjoy waved at almost every pony walking down the street and said hello to them at least once. They even had to stop for about ten minutes to let Chatterjoy play with a young filly. The poor girl had a bad morning, and Chatterjoy took it upon herself to turn the frown upside down.
Finally, the pair made it to their destination. The journey was long and hard. Peril had lurked around every corner. Danger had haunted them at every turn, but the duo had made it safely to the castle of-
"Chatterjoy, are you doing monologue in your head again?" Jazzy asked the pegasus who had made a series of different faces during her train of thought.
"Maybe," Chatterjoy replied scrunching up her nose.
"Honestly," Jazzy sighed, "It's not like we're in a fanfiction Chatterjoy. Stop treating life like it is." Jazzy flipped open a menu and looked at choices. She mumbled to herself on what she might order.
'You have no idea,' Chatterjoy thought mysteriously. She too looked at her menu. Everything seemed appetizing to her. Well, Jazzy was the one treating...
"Well, if it isn't some of my favorite customers!" a voice exclaimed, "What can I get ya two mares today?" The pair looked to see Donut Joe beaming at them.
Before Jazzy could reply, Chatterjoy raised her hoof and replied, "I would like one of everything please!" Jazzy face hoofed but nodded to the stallion her approval. Jazzy then ordered her usual.
It was not long before Donut Joe arrived and gave them their orders. Chatterjoy had practically inhaled the donuts, as if she was starving. Jazzy, herself, took a more refined approach in eating her meal. The two held some conversation. Most of it about what they planned to do after Chatterjoy's visit.
Eventually, the two mares after paying for their breakfast were on their way back to Jazzy's house. Jazzy suddenly stopped a look of horror on her face. "Chatterjoy! You forgot to remind me about my medicine!"
"No, I reminded you this morning," Chatterjoy replied thinking back.
"When?"
"Right after you told me to remind you. I reminded you then," Chatterjoy answered smiling before bouncing away. Jazzy growled and fumed the rest of the way mumbling things on how that is not how you remind someone.
For the rest of Chatterjoy's visit, Jazzy was a ball of hyperactive song. The mare was constantly coming up with new songs and lyrics. The neighbors decided they would teach Chatterjoy later how to properly remind someone.
Chatterjoy paced up and down. She would occasionally turn and glare, but would then resume her pacing. "If I don't hurry, I'll be late, but is there no way to pass you?" Chatterjoy jutted her snout towards her foe. The lights were off and her enemy laid hidden in the shadows, unseen.
"You, my old foe. Have haunted me for nineteen years! No more! Will you give me nightmares. No more! Will I cringe at the sight of your ridged back! No more! Will I shake at the creaking of your voice! For today, I will master you as a lion tamer tames the lion. You will be tamed, and I will no longer fear you! Prepare yourself!"
The pegasus stealed herself and charged at her opponent. She stopped short, as to not barrel her foe over. Sweat clinged to her brow, as she began to concentrate and shake. Her breath came in pants, and her eyes dilated. Finally, she closed her eyes as if to meet defeat. She turned around.
But she pivoted on her hooves, and daintily...put her hoof on the first step. Her other hoof shortly followed, and the pegasus placed it on the next step. She had only gone up three steps, and was already panting with exhaustion.
"You...will never...defeat...me...my old...nemesis...stairs!" The pegasus hauled herself up the next step, agony painted on her face.
"Chatterjoy, you'll be late if you don't hurry," Golden Silence said. She was peering at the mare from the second floor. Chatterjoy only groaned in response, before she banged her head onto the stairs. "Oh, before I forget. Chatterjoy, you can fly."
The young mare lifted her head in shock. It had never occurred to her. She could simply fly over her nemesis. She could have avoided the agony with simply a few flaps of her wings! She would have never had to suffer the humiliation of being sprawled out on the floor, or being late, because of the stairs!
She shot up to Golden Silence, "You are a genius! Why did I never think of it before?" The earth pony shook her head and rolled her eyes, before she trotted away.
Chatterjoy was currently in Canterlot. Jazzy was conducting some concert business, and the pegasus wanted to surprise her friend with a visit. The mare had noticed the new contraption that everypony was calling an elevator. The best part? It had buttons! The real reason Chatterjoy liked the idea of this elevator was the fact that she wouldn't have to use the stairs, or her wings to skip the stairs.
She pressed the button that had an up arrow. The doors didn't open right away, which made the young pegasus a little irritated. Was the elevator thinking about it? Did she have to pass some secret scan of the hoof that pressed the button before it allowed her on? Chatterjoy impatiently pressed the up button again. Soon she began to rapidly push till the door opened.
"Oh yay! I must have passed the secret scan of the hoof!" Chatterjoy exclaimed happily before bouncing into the elevator. Someone else was already in the small container. Chatterjoy used her peripheral vision to glance at the visitor. "Hey there! I'm Chatterjoy!" she greeted closing her eyes and smiling. She held her hoof out for the stranger to shake.
"Yes, I know you very well. You slammed your head on my back!" came the reply as a very skinny appendage wrapped around her hoof and quickly shook it.
Chatterjoy opened her eyes in curiosity and gasped. A three stepped staircase stood in front of her. It had two arms with tiny skinny hands and skinny legs with long flat feet. The eyes were located on the front of the first step.
"I did? Sorry," Chatterjoy apologized. She looked away from the odd creature. "Um...what do you like to do?" Chatterjoy asked nervously as she tried to start a conversation.
"I don't know. I was just now created for the purpose of thi-" the staircase began before Chatterjoy shushed it.
"That is confidential! No pony is supposed to know! Come up with something!" Chatterjoy rushed. She removed her hoof from the mouth of the staircase and put on a smile.
"Very well. I much like to not be shushed." the staircase replied.
All of a sudden the elevator stopped moving and the light began to filter. The machine had done a little jerk and the staircase was now underneath the pegasus. Poor Chatterjoy had the air knocked out of her by the ridges of steps.
"Ugh, what just happened," Chatterjoy asked trying to clear her head.
"It seems the elevator has stopped. Probably due to the au-" the staircase began to explain before Chatterjoy gave a quick buck to the staircase.
"Confidential!"
"I was ju-"
"CONfidential!"
"Would you-"
"CONfiDENtial!"
"What? Just-"
"Confidential."
"Fine."
"Confidential."
"I didn-"
"Shush a baby."
"Pfft what?"
"What?"
"What?"
"Shifernoodles."
The staircase slapped the side its body in annoyance. The pegasus wasn't making any sense whatsoever. "It looks," the staircase began, looking at Chatterjoy to see if she would say anything, "that we might be in here for a while."
"Okay," Chatterjoy said. She began rocking on her hooves and glancing around. A few minutes passed in silence before Chatterjoy began to sweat profusely.
"You okay?" the staircase asked, looking at the pegasus with concern.
"Uh huh," Chatterjoy replied with a nervous smile. A few more minutes passed before Chatterjoy broke and began to ran around in circles.
"What are we going to do! What are we going to do! All I wanted was to surprise Jazzy with a visit! I like visiting others! Do you like visiting others? Oh Celestia and Luna! I can't take this small cramped places. The heat of our breath accumulating and suffocating us with its Carbon Dioxide! What if no one looks for us? What if someone is late to work because they couldn't use the elevator because we broke it! Oh my Luna! We broke the elevator! We gotta hide! I am too young to go to prison! What would Applejack and the rest of Ponyville think of me!?"
"That you're a claustrophobic pegasus that needs to take a chill pill," replied the staircase nonchalantly, "Besides most of this is no cause of concern because of the au-"
"CONFIDENTIAL!" screamed Chatterjoy before she began to run around in circles again.
For the next hours it was Chatterjoy panicking with the staircase just replying calmly. Soon the elevator began running again and got to the designated floor. There were ponies in uniforms at the floor. Chatterjoy ran up to them and bowed crying.
'I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to break it!" she bawled at the officer's hoof.
"Woah! Calm down kiddo! The elevator just shut down for twenty four hours. Seems there are some bugs we gotta fix. You and your friend okay? I bet you're hungry!" replied the officer offering both Chatterjoy and the staircase some chocolate bars.
"Thank you," Chatterjoy replied sniffling and nibbling on her chocolate with tears streaming down her face.
"Chatterjoy!" Jazzy exclaimed while trying to hold her laughter. The white pegasus was making gagging sounds at the movie. It was a movie that Chatterjoy had recently fell in love with. Well, all but one part. The heroine was currently kissing one of the characters. "Just get over the fact that kissing is what lovers do!"
"Never!" hissed the pegasus, sticking out her tongue. To ignore the awkward situation of the two main characters kissing, the pegasus began to preen her wings.
"Don't you and Filler kiss?" Jazzy asked curiously. The skeleton pony was a recent addition to Chatterjoy's list of friends. They had once tried to kill them, but Chatterjoy's playful heart brought him around. Currently, the undead pony resided with Chatterjoy. He was gifted flight a long time ago.
"I believe that falls under necrophilia," Chatterjoy replied lifting up her head before returned to her job of preening. Jazzy looked surprised at the pegasus' answer. "What?" Chatterjoy asked.
"Didn't know you knew such big words!" Jazzy exclaimed. Chatterjoy said a quick hey before the unicorn changed the subject. "What about the handsome stallion Legion? He is quite the character!"
Chatterjoy gave her a blank look. It gave Jazzy the creeps. (Most of it being the fact that Chatterjoy couldn't keep a straight face for more than five seconds.) "That's not even funny! He is a friend! What is it with you ponies always having to ship somepony?" Chatterjoy growled with annoyance. "I swear, all I have to do these days is look at a stallion..."
Jazzy ignored Chatterjoy's grumbling. "New rumor on the street," Jazzy began, "You know the mare that goes by ILoveKimPossibleAlot?" Chatterjoy opened her mouth to speak, but Jazzy continued so they wouldn't get sidetracked, "Apparently she likes this stallion named Antony C."
Chatterjoy rolled her eyes, "I don't care much for shipping two ponies together. Besides who names their filly ILoveKimPossibleAlot?"
"One word Chatterjoy, Twiluna," Jazzy retorted, "Besides I don't think that's her real name. It's probably Movie Maker or something." Jazzy put a hoof on her chin. Chatterjoy was currently blushing about being caught shipping Twilight and Luna together.
"One word Jazzy, I caught Twilight and Luna kissing!" Chatterjoy retorted thinking about it. Jazzy scoffed.
"That's six words Chatterjoy, and you only caught them kissing in your-"
"Confidential!"
"Yes, right, of course, my apologies," Jazzy replied once again rolling her eyes. "Still would you pair the two. I know you watch some of the mare's stuff."
Chatterjoy hummed for a moment before replying, "I don't really care. I know Twilight and Luna so it is much easier to ship them together, but I don't know the two ponies like I do them. I guess, just whatever." Chatterjoy began watching the credits. The two main characters had stopped kissing a long time ago.
"Wow, nice answer Chatterjoy."
"I always come up with the best answers! Just ask me!"
Chatterjoy and her group of friends, Jazzy Mellows, Wordplay, Godwin, Filler, Golden Silence, and Stargazer were currently sharing a meal together at a homey little restaurant in Ponyville. Jazzy decided to break the peaceful silence of eating by asking Chatterjoy a question, "Hey Chatterjoy, do you believe in love at first sight?"
Chatterjoy almost choked on her soup that she was eating, "You mean like with the princesses and stuff?" Jazzy nodded excitedly, waiting for her friend's response. The rest of their friends were currently looking at the pegasus waiting for what her thoughts would be on the subject. Knowing her they would be there all night. Chatterjoy surprised them by holding her bowl of soup lovingly, while still keeping it on the table and whispered with her bedroom eyes, "Do you believe in love at first sight?" The bowl didn't answer, but Chatterjoy kept on, "I do. And you look absolutely scrumptious tonight!" Chatterjoy then took a huge slurp of her soup.
Jazzy laughed so hard that she fell out of her chair. Wordplay had turned pale, but was having a hard time suppressing her giggles. Filler had joined Jazzy on the floor. His own hollow laughter echoing Jazzy's. Stargazer had face hoofed, and Godwin was hiding his smile behind his talons. Golden Silence merely cracked a smile and continued eating.
Chatterjoy acted like she hadn't said anything funny, and she just stroked the bowl. She whispered little assurances to bowl of food. The pegasus was fully aware of the mayhem she was causing.
"I-I can't take it anymore!" shouted Jazzy from the floor. She carefully pulled herself back up onto her chair. "Seriously though, what are your thoughts on true love?"
Chatterjoy just smiled at Jazzy. "Why Jazzy, I believe you already know the answer."
"What?"
Before anyone could question the pegasus further. She had already paid and left a tip at the table.
"So," Wordplay began looking at Jazzy, "what does Chatterjoy actually think of true love?"
A small little white filly walked into her classroom. She had recently gotten her cutie mark, and she sported it proudly. Her classmates didn't ask her about it, but she didn't seem to mind. She just couldn't stop smiling at her own personal achievement.
"What are you smiling about Silent Frown!" said a pegasus with a brown curly mane and gray fur. Her cutie mark was a paintbrush. "Besides! When did you get a cutie mark? I doubt that a dumb pegasus like you, who hasn't learned to fly yet could possibly have gained a cutie mark!"
The white filly still smiling replied happily, "Thank Celestia somepony finally asked me about my cutie mark! But I don't know who this 'Silent Frown' is. Is she somepony I know? Anyway to answer your question about my cutie mark. I got it, while talking with a good friend of mine! Her name is Jazzy Mellows. And guess what! We both got our cutie marks at the same time! Isn't that amazing? I thought so."
The other pegasus merely stood shocked at all the words coming from the other's mouth. She shook her head to clear it, "Ugh, Silent Frown is a terrible nickname I gave you! I was bullying you!"
"Why would you call me that? I'm Chatterjoy! Don't bully others that is just mean. Why would you do that? I can't even imagine bullying someone. I mean that would hurt their feelings and they wouldn't smile. I want everypony to smile!"
The bell rung for everypony to sit in their seats. The pegasus who was trying to bully Chatterjoy tried to trip the pegasus, but the pegasus was so excited she was bouncing and she bounced over the outstretched leg. "Oh, Gray Scale! Don't leave your leg out like that! Somepony could get hurt!" Chatterjoy said over her shoulder.
The teacher walked in with a broad smile upon her face. She was a light blue with a darker blue mane. "Good morning class!" she greeted cheerily. "Today, we will be focusing on science! Particularly Biology. Who can tell me what the term Biology means?" Chatterjoy shot her hoof up. "Okay, Chatterjoy, what does it mean?"
"It means the study of life!" Chatterjoy responded happily.
"Very good! Today we'll be talking about the life cycle of a frog-" the teacher began. She had drawn out pictures and had begun to explain and point out the various stages. A note landed on Chatterjoy's desk, distracting the pegasus.
She barely regarded it, and stuffed it into her desk. She was busy learning about the study of life! This was interesting! More notes were passed to her desk and more began to get crammed. "Stop it!" Chatterjoy hissed loudly to Gray Scale who had been the one passing notes.
"Well, Chatterjoy, since you think you're too smart for this class..." the teacher said glaring at her.
Chatterjoy shook her head and pointed to Gray Scale, "She keeps passing notes to me, and I want to learn what you're talking about! It was getting annoying!" The teacher huffed but walked over to the two fillies. She looked at Chatterjoy's desk to see it chock full of notes. She picked up one and unfurled it.
"Gray Scale, you are to remain here after school. I will not tolerate bullying in my classroom. Is that understood? Chatterjoy, please throw away all the notes."
Gray Scale glowered at Chatterjoy and the white pegasus simply beamed at her. "You should really try to pay attention more! Biology is so much fun! We get to learn all about the circle of life! And-" Chatterjoy was cut off by a random classmate.
"Absolutely not!" Wordplay exclaimed. The unicorn had half a mind to slam the door on her friend's face. Chatterjoy was still smiling at her and was rocking back and forth on her hooves. "I cannot believe you would suggest that to me. That horrendous, terrible, horrific-"
Wordplay was cut off by the other friend at her door, "Come now Wordplay, leave the fast talking to Chatterjoy and Pinkie Pie. Two is more than enough." Wordplay looked at Jazzy with a glare.
"Yeah, come on Wordplay! Just a harmless game of truth or dare!" Chatterjoy piped up, before she gasped in horror, "Unless you have a terrible secret that you don't want anyone to know about. Like what if you murdered somepony in cold blood and never got convicted of it. And you hid the body, so that you wouldn't be blamed for the murder. And, in fact that you are planning our very murders right now. What if you didn't murder somepony, but instead saw a murder! You would be under witness protection, which means you can't tell us anything about what happened that night! That also means that Wordplay isn't your real name!"
Jazzy with a sigh, planted a hoof in Chatterjoy's mouth. Wordplay was just speechless. "Wordplay, what Chatterjoy is trying to say is that we would very much appreciate it if you would come and hang out with us. Golden Silence is going to be there. If she can deal with C. J. tonight surely you can?"
Wordplay nodded, "Wait a minute? Why would witnessing the murder have to be at night? Sometimes they happen during the day! I'm a writer. I know these things."
Chatterjoy managing to get Jazzy's hoof out of her mouth replied, "Not in TV! Or at least not in the episodes I watch! Like, there was this one episode and this one pony..."
The two unicorns had already tuned the pegasus out, as they headed to Golden Silence's house. Jazzy did the honor of knocking. After a bit of rustling Golden Silence opened her door. "Hey guys. Ready?"
Wordplay had already duck taped Chatterjoy's mouth and both the unicorns replied with a yes. "Nice mouth ware C. J." Golden Silence snickered, as the pegasus walked by. In reply, Chatterjoy trotted a little bit straighter and proudly wore her duck tape.
Golden Silence shook her head, "I cleared a space for all of us." After everypony sat down where she gestured, Golden Silence pulled out an empty coke bottle. "Who will go first?"
Chatterjoy raised her hoof, and she barely sat still, as she tried to make herself as noticed as possible. "Anypony other than Chatterjoy?" Golden Silence deadpanned.
"I will," Jazzy said. She spun the bottle with her magic. The bottle continued to spin till it finally slowed to stop. The bottle was pointing at Golden Silence. "Alright. Truth or dare?"
"Dare."
"Okay. Golden Silence. I dare you to...hug Chatterjoy."
"Easy enough," replied the earth pony. Golden Silence wrapped her foreleg around the pegasus, but she was caught off guard, as Chatterjoy returned her hug with full force. "Gah! Like...to breathe!"
Everypony else laughed till Chatterjoy finally let go of Golden Silence. "All right. Wordplay. Your turn," Jazzy said handing the bottle to her fellow unicorn with her magic.
"Why is it my turn next?"
"Would you rather Golden Silence spin it, or Chatterjoy?
"On second thought. I'll spin it," Wordplay responded. She quickly grabbed the bottle and spun it with her magic. The bottle whirled around furiously.
"Spin it hard enough?" Jazzy remarked sarcastically.
"Needs more spin," Golden Silence said with a slight smirk.
The bottle finally done with its spinning landed on Golden Silence. "You already had a dare though," Jazzy said, "Do you want to spin again?" Golden Silence shrugged.
"I don't care."
"Spin it again. Less force this time."
Wordplay spun it again. This time it landed on Chatterjoy. The pegasus was making chewing noises. "Chatterjoy? How can you possibly be eating. Your mouth is duck taped."
The three ponies looked up to see exactly what was happening. The duck tape was gone, and Chatterjoy was happily chewing on something. Noticing that three pairs of eyes were staring at her, Chatterjoy smiled. It revealed a gray substance within her mouth. "Hey guys. I don't recommend this. Duck tape tastes disgusting, but has a strangely satisfying chew."
"Spit that out!" Wordplay exclaimed. She pried the pegasus' mouth open with her magic. Jazzy then retrieved the ball of tape from within her mouth. It was soaked in Chatterjoy's saliva.
"That's gross."
"You call it gross, but I call it in how the f[buy some apples]k did she get it into her mouth?"
"Simple! I put it in my mouth!" Chatterjoy answered her earth pony friend. The rest of her friends face hoofed.
"All right C. J. Truth or dare?" Wordplay asked. She was not having a whole lot of fun.
"I could pick truth. But what if you ask a question that I can't ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever answer? But if I choose dare then what if you dare me to something dangerous and I die? What if I died doing the thing you dared me to, but I wasn't a good enough pony and instead of being sent to the Wheaten Fields, I get sent to Tartar Sauce?"
"First off Chatterjoy, it is called Elysian fields and Tartarus. Second, I wouldn't dare you to do something like that," Wordplay replied. She was looking at Chatterjoy like she had grown a second head. Of course, being Chatterjoy that was an all around possibility.
"Are you serious? I would," Golden Silence said chuckling.
"Okay Wordplay. I trust you. I pick...truth!"
"Okay. Chatterjoy," Wordplay started, "I've seen you with that stallion. Do you have a crush on Legion?"
Chatterjoy gave Wordplay a confused look, "Crush? What's that? Crush usually means flattening something. I don't want to flatten Legion. He is a good friend of mine! Plus, that would be murder. I don't want to commit murder. If I committed murder than I would have to hide the body. Then I would have to keep it a secret. But if I play truth or dare again and I get asked the question of killing somepony I would have to tell them that I have, because I have to tell the truth. So, no. I don't have a crush on Legion. Cause I don't want to kill him."
"What?" her friends said simultaneously.
"Personally, I ship Chatterjoy with Filler," Jazzy said looking towards Golden Silence.
"Me? Pfft. I would get a priest to give the pony their last rites," Golden Silence replied.
"Chatterjoy, crush means you like someone," Wordplay corrected.
"Then I have a crush on you."
"..."
"..."
"..."
Chatterjoy waved a hoof in front of her friends faces. "Are you guys okay? You know I don't want my crushes to be broken. Or does crush mean like a best friend. In that case I can't decide. Oh! Maybe I should go to Sugarcube corner and get some crushes for us to share!"
The pegasus bounced off to gather the drinks for her friends.
"...."
"...."
"Dude, you ponies should see your faces. This is Chatterjoy!"
"Chatterjoy, it is time to wake up," echoed a voice. It was the undead pony, Filler. He had trotted into Chatterjoy's room, as the sun had risen above its peak, and the pegasus was still not up. The mare didn't move. She didn't even groan, and this caused the skeleton to echo out a sigh. "Chatterjoy, you need to wake up!"
The pegasus groaned, as Filler let the light into her room. "Five more minutes mom!" Chatterjoy complained. She buried herself deeper into her cloud and refused to come out. Filler gave a flat look to the pegasus. Then nonchalantly he pushed her out of the bed. "Gah! I'm dying!"
"If only," Filler replied to the overreacting mare, "I believe Jazzy Mellows wanted to see you today. You'll be lucky if she is still at Sugarcube Corner."
Chatterjoy gave Filler a confused look. "Wha-? OH! Bye Filler! Have a good day Filler! I'm late. Oh Jazzy is going to kill me! See ya Filler! Don't break my house Filler!" The skeleton nodded to everything absentmindedly. While she ran around the house, he helped her get ready.
The pegasus then waved a final good-bye and gave Filler a peck on the cheekbone. The red glowing dots in his eye sockets shrunk, and if he had the skin to do so, he would be blushing.
Chatterjoy flew as fast as her wings could take her. She landed in front of Sugarcube Corner and peered through the windows to see if Jazzy was still there. The unicorn was not, and Chatterjoy's wings drooped and skimmed the ground. "Great, way to go cat mare! Sleep for twenty two hours why don't you."
Chatterjoy did a quick turn around to head back home, but she failed to notice the stallion that had been walking past her. Her lips locked with his, and they both reared back quickly.
"I'm sorry," they both said at the same time.
"Legion?"
"Chatterjoy?"
"Um..." they said in unison.
"You first," Legion said.
"Uh, okay. Sorry about that I wasn't watching where I was going," Chatterjoy began to explain. Her cheeks were red, and she didn't make much eye contact with the unicorn in front of her.
"What a surprise eh? Chatterjoy not watching where she is going," Legion joked. His own cheeks were lightly flushed, but he was able to hide it a bit better, most of it due to his darker fur.
"Chatterjoy and Legion sitting in a tree! K-i-s-s-i-n-g!" A pink unicorn cried out. Chatterjoy perked her ears, and glared at her friend.
"Jazzy! It was an accident! I was not watching where I was going. Big surprise right? Then I just happened to bump into Legion here. He is a good friend. Got that? Good friend. G-o-o-d! Good! Like a nice big batch of chocolate chip cookies! Good! I like cookies. I bet a lot of ponies like cookies," Chatterjoy began to rant.
"Sure, it was an accident," Jazzy teased, walking up to her friend and poking her in the side. "I guess I'll leave you two alone."
"What?"
"Oh and Legion. The stomach never lies."
"Excuse me?"
Jazzy just giggled and trotted away, leaving a flushed Chatterjoy who's entire face had turned red with a combination of embarrassment and anger.
Legion sighed and looked at the red faced mare next to him. Why not? They were just good friends right? "Chatterjoy, shall we go into Sugarcube Corner? I'll get ya something," he said. At least be a gentle stallion right?
If it was possible Chatterjoy turned even redder. "Uh, no thanks. I just remembered that I had to help Big MacIntosh treebuck, or buck trees. For...the...um... trees! You know. Um. Bye!"
Chatterjoy took off into the air, leaving a stunned Legion. The unicorn simply shrugged before heading inside to get his own milkshake. "I'll take some apple fritters with that shake as well."
Chatterjoy panted as she landed in the apple farm. Her face was still extremely flushed, but now part of that was due to exertion. "That was a total failure. Get it together you stupid pegasus."
"Now nopony is stupid," a deep voice said behind her.
"Big Mac! Hi. Yes. Um. Can I help you?" Chatterjoy spluttered.
"Eenope. Isn't today your day off Ms. Joy?"
"Uh....Chatterjoy is fine. Ms. Joy sounds like I'm a nurse that has too many family members that all look alike. Anyway got to go. You know. Um. Wing trouble!" Once again Chatterjoy dashed off this time sticking to the ground.
"..."
Chatterjoy sat down in the park. She was breathing rapidly. So much love in the air. It kinda made her feel sick. First everypony pairs her up with her undead friend Filler. Granted he was a stallion. Living with her. In her house. Just the two of them. Alone. In her house. Alone.
But Legion was supposed to be different. He was a friend. A living friend. Could that be the problem? Filler was an undead. For the most part there was no way that they could 'be' together. Legion on the other hoof was a living breathing unicorn stallion. Did this have something to do with that 'procreate' business. Whatever that meant.
A tantalizing smell wafted over to her nose. An apple fritter was dangling in front of her face. She chomped on the offending pastry causing it to leave the levitation field.
"Feeling better?" a voice asked. Chatterjoy still chewing turned around to face Legion. Her face regained a red tainted hue, but she managed to nod an affirmative. "You know. Your friend was just teasing. With the way you acted, it seemed like you'd never kissed a stallion before."
Swallowing, Chatterjoy replied, "I haven't. That was the first time. I'm not into 'kissing'." Legion didn't say anything, but he perked his ears up in interest. "I don't...date. You know? It is...foreign to me."
"I think I see the problem here. Has no pony ever asked you out on a date? Showed any interest in you?"
"If you mean by calling me names and playing an advanced game of cooties where only I have them. Then yes," Chatterjoy replied. She snatched another apple fritter from Legion and shoved it whole into her mouth.
"Hmmm. Have you ever showed any interest in dating?"
"Why should I? No one can stand me for that long to live with me. Besides, I'm tired of this pity talk. If we're not going to talk about something happy, then I'm going to go home."
Legion began to think deeply. Sighing, he put on a smile, "Chatterjoy, would you go on a date with me?" It caught the pegasus so off guard she faltered in her step.
"...What?"
"Would you go on a date with me?" he repeated. When Chatterjoy gave him a disbelieving look, he added, "As friends of course."
"I guess it couldn't hurt," Chatterjoy replied. Her face still held a blush.
"Now I heard they opened up a new restaurant today. They also serve cheese hay fries."
Chatterjoy had been playing with her Luna doll, when the chaos had been unleashed upon Ponyville. "Shall we play hide n' seek or shall we have a party. No, Luna not the tea party. Tea parties suck. I love peppermint tea just as much as the next mare, but I don't want to pretend tea. No, I'm not saying this is a pretend party either! There will be cake. Can't have a party without cake. Or ice cream for that matter. What was that? You want to play hide n' seek. I can do that. You hide and I'll count."
Chatterjoy closed her eyes, while she held the doll within her mouth. Mentally, she counted down from ten. When she was done, the pegasus spun around three times and walked in a specific direction with her eyes still closed. She got to the door of her house, when she ran into the door.
"Therish a door heresh," Chatterjoy scolded to herself. She opened it before flying out. Her eyes remained closed as she spun around three more times. Then with a mighty swing she flung the doll. She counted up to ten to make sure that the doll had landed, before she opened her eyes again. "Ready or not here I come!"
She gasped in horror at what she saw next. Ponyville had been enveloped in different colors. Some hills were plaid colored, and there were ballerina buffaloes among flying pigs. Getting over the horror, Chatterjoy shrugged her shoulders before continuing her game of hide n' seek.
Chatterjoy landed on the ground and began to search for the blue fur of her doll. "Here little Luna doll. Come out! Come out!" The sound of a snap echoed behind her, and the pegasus lifted her head and turned to see what caused the sound. A creature with different animal parts stood looking at her with maniacal eyes.
"Can I help you?" Chatterjoy asked tentatively.
"Why, yes my dear. I think you can," he replied. He snapped his eagle talons, and her doll appeared in his claws. Snapping again, the Luna doll came to life and became life sized. "I want you and your little partner here. To delay some ponies."
"But that's not nice," Chatterjoy replied still gazing in wonder at her now life sized and very much alive doll.
"That is exactly the point."
Discord was already losing patience. He had no time to try and trick the mare into becoming gray. Like he did with Fluttershy, he tapped his talon on her head, causing her eyes to become hypnotic. "Now listen my dear. You are going to delay those ponies!"
Chatterjoy began to rapidly lose her color till she was nothing but a gray scale of her former self. "I don't have to do what you want!" Chatterjoy growled after her transformation. She kicked her doll to the ground, "And I don't need this stupid doll!" She flapped her wings and flew off.
Jazzy had been running around Ponyville. She had tried to find her friends, but she had no luck. A shadow crossed over her, and she looked up to spot Chatterjoy. "C.J.! Hey! Wait! Come back here! I've been worried!," Jazzy yelled, galloping after her friend. Chatterjoy glanced down and glared at the unicorn.
"You can't tell me what to do! Your not my mom!"
"What in the hay are you talking about?" Jazzy yelled back up the pegasus. Chatterjoy growled and landed right in Jazzy's face.
"You can't tell me what to do!" she ground out while stabbing her hoof in Jazzy's chest.
"What's gotten in to you, and why are you gray?"
"Gray is the new Chatterjoy," Chatterjoy sneered before pivoting on her front hooves and bucking Jazzy into a nearby apple cart. "There. Is that amusing enough for you!"
Wordplay had been doing the same thing Jazzy was and happened to hear her friend's voices. She came to check out the commotion, when she saw a gray version of her friend and a knocked out Jazzy Mellows.
"Chatterjoy! What is going on? Why are you gray?"
"None of your business!" Chatterjoy growled out to her friend. Wordplay recoiled at the harshness of Chatterjoy's voice.
Jazzy moaned in pain, as she struggled to open her eyes. Wordplay looked back at Jazzy, but the other unicorn couldn't move yet. She managed to croak out Chatterjoy's name.
"Why did you kick Jazzy. Isn't she your friend? Aren't I your friend?" Wordplay questioned Chatterjoy who was busy trampling some nearby flowers.
"You know. I am sick and tired of these questions! Why Chatterjoy this, and why Chatterjoy that! Well, maybe it's because I'm sick of being used as a toy! The only reason you guys keep me around is, because I amuse you isn't it! Well, am I amusing enough for you now? Maybe gray is my true color Wordplay. Have you ever thought about that!"
Wordplay couldn't interject as she continued to hear her friend rant out grievances. When the pegasus paused long enough Wordplay interjected, "You're wrong!"
"Am I?" Chatterjoy interrupted and glared full force at the pair of unicorns. During her rant, Jazzy had managed to get up and face her friend. "Aren't you always patting my head and treating me like a filly! I'm not a filly! I am a grown mare! I don't need you! I don't need Jazzy! I don't need anypony! And least of all, I don't need the Luna doll!"
"Chatterjoy! You need to calm down. You've been spelled or something. We are trying to help you," Wordplay pleaded with her friend. Jazzy was still trying to regain her breath. Never would she have thought that Chatterjoy could release that powerful of a kick.
"Maybe," Chatterjoy sneered, "My eyes have been opened to the truth! And this is boring. I'm going to go torment ponies or something." The pegasus took off, before Wordplay or Jazzy could respond. They looked at each other with determination in their eyes.
Discord Breaks Free: Ponyville 1500
The pair of unicorns had been searching for their spelled friend for an hour. They heard a commotion near the town square, and they galloped as quickly as they could to see what was going on. Chatterjoy was there dumping chocolate rain on the ponies all over the square.
"Chatterjoy!" The unicorns exclaimed at the same time.
"What in the nine hays is wrong with her!" A familiar voice growled out. It was Golden Silence using a table to shield herself from the sticky mess. "I called out to her. Asked her why's she gray. Then she goes all haywire!" Golden Silence said adjusting her shield to block the masses of cotton candy being thrown at her from said pegasus. "Now that I mention it, there are a lot of gray ponies running around Ponyville. Is it some kind of illness?"
"No. Some kind of spell," Wordplay answered, "And Chatterjoy got hit by it."
"Well, reverse it or something," Golden Silence grunted out.
Squeaky steps were heard behind the trio, and they turned around to see what it was. It was Chatterjoy's Luna doll. Now life sized and alive. "Discord did this to her," the Luna doll said with a small voice, "He wanted her to delay some ponies."
"Um," Jazzy said still in shock at the appearance of a talking doll, "If Discord turned you into this, why are you helping us?"
"Because, I may not be the real Luna, but I am still Chatterjoy's doll, and she had always showered me with love. Even though there are times that she is rough with me. Still, I love her, and I want to play with her again like we used to. I do not like this new Chatterjoy!"
Wordplay nodded, "We need a plan."
"And what would that be?" Jazzy asked, "Do you know a reverse spell for what Discord did?"
Wordplay did not answer immediately. She tapped a hoof on her chin. "We'll need to capture her. I imagine the elements of harmony are already doing what they can against the spirit of chaos. When they fix this, Chatterjoy should go back to being her normal self."
"Uh. Capture Chatterjoy? How in the hay are we supposed to do that?" Jazzy exclaimed frustrated.
"I have to agree with Ms. Pink here," Golden Silence chipped in.
"A distraction," Luna doll said, "If I can distract her, one of the unicorns can hold her down with magic. She's never escaped magic before, so it should work."
"With Chatterjoy struggling most of the time keeping the magic up around her will be difficult," Wordplay replied, "And I don't know how long we would have to hold her for."
"And none of us know how to make a shield," Jazzy put in.
"I can hold her," Golden Silence said, "She hasn't ever been able to escape my wrestler moves, and I have the stamina to hold her too."
"Then it's settled," Wordplay said, "Luna doll, you'll distract her. Golden Silence, once the opportunity presents itself, you grab her and hold on to her for dear life. We're going to have to count on Twilight Sparkle and her friends to be able to use the elements to stop Discord."
"Got it," Everypony said at the same time.
The Luna doll ran up to Chatterjoy who was now mercilessly kicking over food stands. "Chatterjoy stop this!" She cried out. Her squeaky steps stopped as she bunched up her legs and pounced on the pegasus, which resulted in an overwhelmingly cute sound from the stuffed animal.
"Get off of me you stupid doll!" Chatterjoy yelled trying to get the offending cuteness off of her.
"Not until you turn back to your normal self!" the doll squeaked back.
Chatterjoy was having none of it. She managed to get the doll off of her, then she pivoted on her hooves and delivered a powerful buck to the doll. A squeak left the doll as the hooves connected with her plush, and she fell to the ground. A tear left the hand stitched eyes.
Golden Silence had taken this as the moment to strike. She charged at the pegasus, and knocked her to the ground. She had managed to get Chatterjoy in a vice like grip, but it seemed that everything had become unnecessary.
Twilight and her friends must have defeated Discord, because a rainbow had erupted across the town and enveloped it in a bright light. Chatterjoy stopped struggling long enough to see it.
When the light had diminished, Chatterjoy remained unmoving, but she was still gray. Golden Silence got off of her. "What are you doing?" Jazzy asked cautiously. The Luna doll had returned to normal, a tear still in its hand stitched eye. The rest of the town was normal looking.
"It's over," Golden Silence replied, "Look." Just as she finished her sentence, Chatterjoy began to regain her color, starting from her tail. When the color had fully returned to her, the pegasus groggily opened her eyes and rubbed her head.
"Ugh, what happened," she moaned. Then she gasped, "My Luna doll!" She frantically looked around till she saw it laying on the ground a few feet from her. It had a water drop on it's eye, and Chatterjoy lovingly wiped it away, as she carefully picked it up. Then she brought it in for a death hug not minding the dirt getting on her fur.
"Yeah, hug the doll first before your friend," Jazzy complained rubbing her chest, "Don't even apologize. Like a 'Hey, Jazzy, I'm so sorry for bucking you in the chest.' "
Wordplay backhoofed Jazzy playfully, "Leave it. We have our friend back and that's all that matters."
Chatterjoy continued to hug her doll close, and a small smile turned on the doll's lips.
Chatterjoy still couldn't believe what she was seeing. It was like a timberwolf except it was a pony, and though the main body was wood, the mane and tail was a grouping of lush green leaves. The plant pony was currently talking to her and it had a monocle on one of it's eyes and talked very sophisticated.
"-And that is why I am in dire need of your assistance madam," the wood pony finished. He stared at her with bright glowing yellow eyes, waiting for a reply.
"Can you repeat that?" Chatterjoy replied with a head tilt.
"Very well. I, Timber Coil, seem to have found myself in quite a pickle. I was minding my own business, when this brute of a timberwolf decided that I would make a most wonderful meal for him. I, of course, had to disagree with the fellow. I would not make a tasty meal; I would think. Despite this, the brute chased me through the forest, and I skedaddled out of there as fast as my own legs could carry me. I ended up jouncing into you, madam. So, I require your assistance to assure my own safety."
"Uh....sure I guess," Chatterjoy replied. Her head was spinning with all the large words that the wood pony had thrown at her.
"Most excellent," Timber Coil said happily, "If you could lead the way to your domicile, I would be most grateful."
"Wait. Domicile? Is that like a crocodile made of dominoes?" Chatterjoy asked with confusion. She could not understand any of the words that escaped the fancy pony's mouth. It made her head hurt and eyes spin.
"No, my dear. Domicile means abode," he explained. Chatterjoy still gave him a blank stare. "Ziggurat? Residence? Dwelling? Homestead? Celestia please don't tell me your one of those. Crib?"
"Crib? I don't have a crib. If you want one, I'm sure I can ask the Cakes if they have a spare. Looks could be so deceiving. I didn't realize that you were a baby plant pony. Then again. Are you a pony? You look like one, but you're a plant."
"Oh Celestia no, madam," the plant pony interjected, "I don't live in a crib. I was referring to your home."
"Why didn't you just say so?" Chatterjoy replied with a smile, "I don't think it'll work for you. I live in a cloud."
"That poses quite the predicament," Timber Coil replied, "Then where shall I hide from these brutes. I don't want to be consumed by such beasts."
"Consumed?"
"Eaten, eaten my dreadfully dull friend."
"I wasn't aware that I was sharp. I'm just a pegasus and not a unicorn. Unicorns can be sharp with their horns and all."
"That is not exactly what I mean," Timber Coil muttered to himself.
"Well, I guess I could hide you. I'm a good hider!" Chatterjoy suggested.
"Hide what?" A new voice asked. Wordplay was walking up to Chatterjoy and jumped in surprise when she saw the plant pony. "What in Celestia-"
"Good afternoon madam. My name is Timber Coil and your good mate here was just about to help me hide from some dastardly brutes."
"I am nopony's mate!" Chatterjoy exclaimed.
"Friend, Chatterjoy is what he means," Wordplay exclaimed looking at the pegasus.
"I see that you are well equipped in vocabulary madam," Timber Coil stated. He smiled at the thought that he could have somepony who knew what he was talking about, "You see I need somewhere to hide. Your friend here cannot offer me a place to stay, since she resides in a cloud."
"Ah. Then I guess you could stay at my house. I assure you that I am very much attached to the ground," Wordplay replied.
"Delightful."
"Sleepover!" Chatterjoy exclaimed buzzing her wings.
"What?" Wordplay asked confused, but then she caught on. "Oh yes. Why not?"
"Yay! Let me go get my stuff!"
"If you'll follow me Timber Coil, we can get to my house and protect you," Wordplay said turning to head home.
"Thank you Madam...?"
"Wordplay."
"Ah. Thank you Madam Wordplay."
"No problem. The pegasus you met is Chatterjoy." Wordplay said, starting conversation.
Chatterjoy, Jazzy, Wordplay, and Timber Coil were lounging in Wordplay's living room. "Uh. Chatterjoy. Remind me why Jazzy is here again?" Wordplay asked, raising an eyebrow.
"Because, she is a friend. Friends have sleepovers. Plus, she asked what I was doing and when I explained it to her it would be rude not to invite her. Right? Unless. My life has been a total lie! That would be horrible. That would mean I didn't have a mother and a father and a brother! That would be simply awful! Imagine my family being nothing but fakes. What if they weren't even ponies! But were something disguised as ponies. Like Changelings! Oh my Celestia! My family is a bunch of changelings feeding off of my love of them! What am I going to do?"
Once Wordplay had heard her answer she had already tuned out the pegasus, "Well, glad to have you aboard Jazzy. This is Timber Coil. He is being pursued by brutes. Uh...what kind of brutes?"
"Hmm? Oh yes Timberwolves."
"That sucks," Jazzy piped up. She was currently hugging a pillow and was resting her head on it.
"That does indeed. Still we shouldn't fear the timberwolves coming into town so boldly. They don't care much for civilization. They won't come so far into town," Wordplay reasoned out, rubbing her chin. "Still, feel free to stay here until they have gone. I imagine they'll be waiting for you on the edges of town."
"I am eternally grateful for your help Madam Wordplay," Timber Coil replied, bowing his head.
"What if Celestia was a changeling? Then everypony's life would be a lie! Wait. If Celestia is a changeling, then that means that Princess Luna is a changeling as well! No! My wonderful idol! A changeling! What a horrible day. First my family is a bunch of changelings and now our government is a lie!"
"Would you like some tea Timber Coil?" Wordplay asked, getting up to get her own cup.
"That would be greatly appreciated," he replied.
"I'll take some too," Jazzy said.
"All right. Three cups of tea coming right up."
"What about dear Chatterjoy?" Timber Coil asked pointing to the still rambling pegasus.
"What if this isn't Equestria? What if this was some evil country, but the entire populace has been fooled by Changelings and in fact Princess Celestia is actually Queen Chrysalis? And. We are at war, but nopony knows that because the Queen has kept us in the dark. Wait. If the princesses are actually changelings that means that the guards ponies are as well. Then that means! Oh no. That means that we are being watched by changelings on a daily basis!"
"She'll be fine," Wordplay deadpanned, "Here is your tea." She levitated two cups. One to Jazzy and the other to Timber Coil. The steam was rising from the cups and Timber Coil blew light to cool it off, before he took a sip.
"What if I'm not actually a pony but a changeling as well? What if ponies don't exist and the entire world is a lie? What if this is actually a nightmare? I haven't actually met all of you yet."
"Enough Chatterjoy," Jazzy said over her shoulder. The pegasus had managed to huddle in a corner and stroked her tail. A habit she probably developed from Princess Twilight. The pegasus had often sought out the Princess to have questions answered, and Chatterjoy was an avid lover of books. Before the library was destroyed, the pegasus spent a lot of time reading books. It wouldn't take a rocket scientist to learn that Chatterjoy picked a few habits up from the Princess.
"She'll be fine," Wordplay repeated. She took a seat between the plant pony and her unicorn friend. "Shall we tell ghost stories to pass the time?"
"I am always up for a good tell, I suppose," Timber Coil replied. He looked generally interested in what story Wordplay had in mind.
"This is the story of an alien," Wordplay began. She dimmed the lights in her house with her magic and put a flashlight under her face. "He was lost and somehow found himself in the land of Equestria. This was during the time of the warring tribes, and as a result each tribe thought he was a monster sent by the other to destroy them."
Jazzy was already hiding behind her pillow. Timber Coil remained sipping his tea. He waited patiently for the purple unicorn to get to the scary part. Chatterjoy remained in the corner, stroking her tail and muttering unintelligible things.
Wordplay never got to finish her story for a green light enveloped the house. It was eerie and spooky, and a humming sound resonated with it. Chatterjoy freaked out and ran around the room in a panic.
"The changelings are onto me!"
Wordplay grabbed the crazed pegasus within her own magic, "For the last time Chatterjoy. There are not changelings!"
"The purple one speaks true!" A voice boomed in the house, "For we are not changelings, but we are aliens!" The sound of the voice echoed in Wordplay's home and the residents had to strain their hooves to remain standing. "We have come to probe your minds to improve our own technology."
Chatterjoy began to shake uncontrollably and she began to bite away at her hooves.
A pony shape teleported into the green highlighted room. It was tall, dark, and ominous. When it opened it's eyes a teal reptilian gaze landed on them. At this point Jazzy had hidden completely behind her pillow. Timber Coil had taken to hiding behind her.
"A little early for Nightmare Night wouldn't you say Princess Luna?" Wordplay asked.
"We are not who thou speakest of. We are the aliens who have to probe your mind to increase our own technology," The voice boomed from the large pony.
Wordplay sighed but managed to shut off the spell that made her house turn green. "You were using a light spell on my light bulbs to make them give off this color. The humming came from you making your wings buzz like a hummingbird. And you're using your nightmare moon form to scare people."
When the lights returned to normal. Nightmare Moon stood before the group of ponies. Her wings deflated and she cast away her illusion spell to return to looking like Luna.
"Very good citizen. If we had talents like thy own in Our guard. It would certainly make them less incompetent," Luna replied with a smile.
"Thank you your majesty," Wordplay replied with a bow. Jazzy and Timber Coil soon remembered to bow as well. Chatterjoy had been set on the floor, but the poor pegasus was in such a shock she remained a shivering huddle.
"What is wrong with Our number one fan?" Luna asked, lightly poking Chatterjoy.
"She had gotten on a rant about Changelings, and when you did your appearance she flipped," Jazzy answered.
"We see. Please rise. Let Us inquire what thou were doing before we 'rashed' thy party," Luna asked.
"Crashed, Princess. We were having a sleepover while we wait for the timberwolves to leave our friend Timber Coil alone," Wordplay replied motioning towards Timber Coil.
"Our apologies. If We may, can We stay during this 'sleepover'?"
"We don't actually sleep," Jazzy said.
"We are aware."
For the rest of evening the Princess, the two unicorns, and the plant pony played different games throughout the night. Chatterjoy remained huddled, but at the insistence of the Princess, she was put next to Luna, which did not help her condition one bit.
"We enjoy the reactions of this 'leaking' out," Luna said putting down one of her cards.
"-And that is how Equestria was formed," the teacher said, putting down her visual of the Equestrian flag. A young Chatterjoy was asleep on her desk, and a puddle of drool had formed on it. Her classmates were currently snickering at her, while tiny snores left her body.
The bell rang, and the foals rushed from their seats to go home. Chatterjoy still snored lightly on her desk and only flicked her ear as a sign that the noise had bothered her at all. The teacher sighed and walked over to the pegasus, and she shook her gently.
"Chatterjoy," the teacher said softly and continued, when Chatterjoy opened her eyes groggily, "This has gone on long enough. You sleep through my class every time. History is an important subject, and you should learn it-"
"-If I don't want to repeat it," Chatterjoy finished with a yawn. Her flank was blank and her mane draped over her face, as if she was hiding it.
"If you know that much than why don't you try harder in my class?" The teacher asked, as she helped the filly gather her things in her saddlebag.
"Cause I know it," Chatterjoy replied lamely. She blew some of her mane out of her face, so she could see her teacher, but it only moved back to obscure her view once more.
"Then prove it," the teacher challenged, "What was the history of King Sombra?"
Chatterjoy opened her mouth and began to reply to her teacher's question, "King Sombra was a tyrant that ruled over the Crystal Empire. Not much is known about the Crystal Empire because when Princess Celestia and her partner defeated the King he had placed a curse on the kingdom to disappear..."
Sombra stood proudly upon his kingdom. The slaves working hard to please their master so that they might get a little extra food and drink. He enjoyed tormenting them, because there was nothing better to do. The King knew, however, that he would have to place alarm bells among the kingdom, so that if he was ever defeated the bells would ring, and the empire would go into hiding.
"The Princess and her partner would come attack him at any moment. He knew why as well. They wanted to steal his beloved crystal heart and trample over his pristine clean stairs. He would have none of it. His maiden stairs would never be run upon, and anypony foolish enough to do so was punished severely. Nopony ruined the cleanliness of his stairs.
Oh, and nopony stole his crystal heart, as it was made of crystal, and King Sombra loved crystals.
He began to reminisce about his foalhood. He had loved crystals back then. He would decorate his mane and tail with the beautiful rocks. The other colts and fillies made fun of him, and he hated it. There was nothing wrong with a colt liking to put delightfully colorful crystals in his mane and tail, but they continued to mock him.
He planned his revenge. At first he would ambush them, and then put crystals into their hair forcefully. That tactic didn't work because they outnumbered him, and they beat him up as a result.
Even his parents had trouble wrapping their heads around why their colt would like such girly things. Sombra couldn't understand why it was so wrong. Many stallions did girly things. They wore make-up in pattern of a lightning bolt on their face. He thought that was weird. Some stallions took ice skating. Others even sounded like a girl when they sang despite being past the age of puberty.
What was wrong with him turning his mane into a giant puffball and putting crystals in it. They even made fun of him for wearing a necklace that had an upside down tree inside a circle. He liked trees. Still other ponies mocked him, but he would get his revenge.
King Sombra snapped his mind back into the present. He did show them. He turned them into slaves, and with his routine of standing ominously above them for the evening done, he went back inside. He went to his private chambers and looked into the mirror.
"Looking good," he purred as he flexed his non-existent muscles. He took off his armor and gazed at himself in the mirror. "I'm missing something though." Sombra thought long and hard about what he was missing when he remembered with a jolt. He brought out a weird looking comb and began to puff up his mane till it was a nice giant ball of fluff a top his head.
"Much better," he smiled. He levitated up different colors of crystals and began to weave it into his mane.
"Even better."
Suddenly the sun shone through his window with a brilliant rage. When it had passed he ran to the window to see what it was. It was Princess Celestia and her partner. The were now flying over his empire and heading straight for him. "No, they'll never hurt my stairs or take my beloved crystals!" He exclaimed. After all he needed them to weave into his mane and create his giant glittering ball of dances.
"It's over Sombra surre-" Princess Celestia began to command when she saw King Sombra. She tried to hold in her laughter, as she saw the armor less Sombra with an Afro that had crystals in it.
"I will never surrender to you or your partner!" King Sombra yelled defiantly.
"We art not her partner! We art her si-"
"I care not who you are you measly sidekick!" King Sombra yelled back.
"Surrender Sombra. You are no match for me and my si-" Celestia started again.
"You have it wrong! It is you and your sidekick that are no match for me!" King Sombra gloated, "For I have this!" He levitated out the comb he had used to style his mane.
"A comb?"
"What? No you fool! The crystal heart...oh," King Sombra tossed the comb back inside and brought out the crystal heart.
"A half a ball of crystals?"
"No...gah!" King Sombra exclaimed frustrated, "This!" He finally levitated out the crystal heart. "With this I can defeat you!"
"With love and light. Everything in which thou is not?"
"Yes! With everything I am...not....horse apples. You're going to kick my flank aren't you."
Both of the ponies nodded in unison before they put their horns together and banished Sombra in the ice of the north.
The teacher watched in shocked fascination as the filly before her played with little toy figures of Sombra, Celestia, and a guards pony. She had used little paper footballs to represent the other ponies. She was currently sending Sombra to other side of the classroom with a noooooo.
"-And that is how King Sombra was banished to the cold north."
Chatterjoy looked around Princess Twilight's lab. She had come to ask the Princess about something but she couldn't remember what it was. Twilight had left a few minutes prior to take care of ponies coming in for some friendship counseling. She had also given specific directions that Chatterjoy was to not touch anything with her hooves.
Chatterjoy never said she wouldn't touch with anything else. Oh for example, let's say one of those toy things that let's you pick things up. The moment the princess had left; Chatterjoy had pulled out her contraption with a devilish grin. She began to lift up vials with liquids that were different colors and began to mix them.
"This is so much fun! No wonder the princess loves to work down here!" Chatterjoy exclaimed excitedly. The beaker that she had been pouring the liquids in finally filled to the top. It was now a dark black color, and it began to squirm and rise to the top. "Oh dear. I think this is why my science teacher, Ms. Foamy, told me to not do this."
Chatterjoy heard Twilight coming down the stairs. Panicking, the pegasus grabbed a lid and put it on top of the growing black mass. She quickly hid herself in a box, seeing as the only way out was up the stairs.
"Chatterjoy?" Twilight called. She peeked her head in to see that the pegasus was not there. The black mass gurgled something, and Twilight looked down to see a box next to her hooves. "Chatterjoy? Is that you? I don't have time to play hide n' seek today."
Chatterjoy bit her lip and put more force behind her hoof. Twilight was growing more and more impatient. She ignited her horn and lifted the box above her head to find no pony there. "Huh?" Twilight snorted, "I could have sworn..."
The pegasus held her breath. She had grabbed onto the box with all her might so that she would be lifted up along with it. The beaker that held the black mass was clamped tightly in her jaws. Sweat threatened to drop from her and onto the princess below her, until fate decided to be kind, and Twilight gently laid the box down on the ground.
"She must have gotten bored and left. Goodness, that mare has as short an attention span as Pinkie Pie."
The black mass gurgled again, and Twilight swiftly turned her head to the box. Chatterjoy was a sweating mess. "Princess! I've come to seek your aid!" a stallion called from the upper floor.
"I'll be right there!" Twilight answered back. She gave the box one last suspicious look before trotting up to see the newcomer. Chatterjoy sighed in relief at the fact that the princess was leaving. Still within her box disguise she made her way upstairs. She stopped every so often when she saw a guard walk past.
"Great Sun Goddess!" a guard said as he almost tripped over the box that had mysteriously shown up in his path. "That dragon must be more careful where he puts his stuff. I could have bashed my head in," the guard complained, rubbing his helmet. As he walked past, he gave a mighty buck to the box to get it out of the way.
Chatterjoy tried with all her might not to utter a sound. When the guard had left she let out a sigh of relief, however she was not out of the woods yet, when two more guards rounded the corner.
"So I said 'Sir, you are obviously drunk. I don't know what the hay made you think that you could drive a cart at this hour. Do you realize how many apples you bruised!' "
"Wait. Apples? Are you serious. You got all worked up over apples?"
"Yeah it was Apple Gala and some other Apples."
"What?"
"You know the Apple family?"
"I don't follow."
"Like the element of honesty's extended family?"
"Oh."
During the guards' conversation, Chatterjoy took this moment to go inside the room she had been kicked by. It turned out to be the library. Fortunately no one really came in here. Partly because of the fact that most of the books had been incinerated before the castle was made here, and the Princess was still recovering and replacing books.
Chatterjoy shed her box costume and looked at the oozy mass. "Ok. I created you so I need to give you a name. How about...Henchy!" The mass growled in discontent, "Oozy? Gooey? Cream Pie? Frosting? Cream? Oh oh I know! It will be the most wonderful of names you ever heard!" Chatterjoy then leaned down and whispered the idea to the living goo. He purred happily in acknowledgement.
"Well, first order of business my little henchgoo. We need to get out of the castle before Princess Twilight learns of your creation, but before we leave we must do what evil ponies do, as only evil ponies have henchgoos! Borrow books without permission and not turning them in on their due date!"
Chatterjoy had found out that her little henchgoo was capable of turning into an unpoppable bubble, so she began to sneak around the library putting every book that had an interesting title or cover art into it's mouth. The books seemed to be unharmed when she experimented with a math book, so she took the liberty of putting more in.
"All right Mr. G.A.K I think we have enough books for now. Let us be away!" Chatterjoy silently exclaimed. She allowed Gak to hop on her back and they took off out the window. "Now all we need is to have the greatest most awesomest hideout ever! Every pony knows that a villain needs a lair. Nightmare Moon had the moon. Discord had that stone statue of himself. Sombra had that icy wilderness. Chrysalis had that beehive. So what would fit us?"
Gak gurgled something in Chatterjoy's ear. "Of course! That would be a great idea!" Chatterjoy landed by the sofa clerk. He jerked in surprise. "Civilian! I have need of four couches, a desk, and a rolly chair."
"Uh..."
"Did you not here me citizen?" Chatterjoy asked getting up into his face and looking him straight into the eye. Gak again gurgled something into Chatterjoy's ear. "Oh pardon me. Those words are used by heroes. I am a villain. You little piece of horse [buy some apples] I said I wanted four couches, a desk, and a rolly chair! What part of that did you not understand?"
The sofa clerk whimpered before getting a cart and putting everything Chatterjoy ordered onto it. "I-Is that all you will be wanting?"
"Yes. Thanks!" Chatterjoy replied with a smile. A nudge from Gak made her gasp in realization, "I mean, You are lucky that these objects please me or else I would be having you clean the dirt from my hooves! You pathetic worm!" Another nudge from Gak got her going again before she could leave the clerk, "And I want YOU to pull this cart to town square."
The sofa clerk bowed before hitching himself to the immensely heavy cart and started pulling it to the center of town. Chatterjoy's stomach growled, and she saw Berry Bunch selling some fruit. A slight gurgle from Gak told Chatterjoy everything she needed to get motivated. Motioning for the sofa clerk to stop for a moment, the pegasus marched up to Berry Punch. "Give me all your fruit!"
"They'll be 10 bits per barrel," Berry Punch replied bored.
"Oh. That's a lot of bits. I don't have that much." Gak slapped her face lightly and gurgled angrily. "Right sorry Gak. I won't pay, but you will pay dearly if you don't give me this fruit now!"
Berry Punch looked extremely annoyed. She had a hangover and didn't have time for this villain in training to be demanding stuff from her fruit stand. "If you don't have that much then leave!" She replied irritably. Chatterjoy walked backwards in shock, but turned her head away and walked away dejectedly.
"My speech level isn't high enough."
The small group finally made it town square. A few ponies were milling about, doing their everyday jobs. Chatterjoy instantly grabbed the sofas and built a massive sofa fort. The sofa clerk was flabbergasted that the pegasus could make such a building using furniture. Chatterjoy didn't stop there she grabbed the desk and later the rolly chair and began to design the inside of her fort.
It was only one large room, but a sofa that was part of the wall was able to keep it's cushions and thus provided seating. The desk and chair were on the other side. The sofa clerk didn't know how Chatterjoy did it but somehow the pegasus had managed to put all the books she stole in the walls of the fortress, making it look very much like a bookcase.
"Come in minion, come in," Chatterjoy said happily. She had just finished applying the G.A.K. Goo to the last book to 'glue' it onto the walls. "How do you like it?" She fluttered down to hear the sofa clerk's answer better.
"Um...it's glorious?"
"Good!" Chatterjoy replied happily. "Now all we must do is wait for our arch nemesis!"
Meanwhile, back at the library, a furious alicorn princess stood in front of her library. "First somepony messed with my lab, then somepony stole most of the fiction books? Who would do such a thing!" Twilight stomped her hoof in anger, causing the shelves and what books she had left to tumble and fall to the ground.
Doing the breathing exercises that Cadence had taught her, Twilight tried to calm down. "Think rationally. It must have been Chatterjoy. She had mysteriously disappeared after you left. She normally likes to say good bye before leaving. However, I have to get proof that it was her. She can't lie very good. I'll just ask her. If she confesses, I won't press charges."
Twilight walked out of her castle a little bit more calm then she was before. That was when she noticed the giant sofa fortress in front of her. Anger once again burning in her eyes Twilight stomped over to the fortress. She knocked on the sofa door, when the sofa clerk answered it.
"You are the culprit?" Twilight asked sceptically. She couldn't believe the sofa clerk would do this. He seemed nervous and was sweating bullets.
"I'm afraid Mistress Chatterjoy isn't back yet. Come back later Princess," he said nervously. Twilight loomed over him with a fire in her eyes. A trick she had learned from Princess Luna. Who, funny, if one should ask, had learned it from her sister. "Please," he whimpered.
"Very well then. I'll come back later," Twilight replied to the clerk. Now her suspicions had at least been confirmed. Chatterjoy was behind the theft. She saw all her books in the walls of the fortress. Now to pay her cloud home a visit. With that thought in mind, Twilight spread her wings and took off towards Chatterjoy's home.
She swiftly landed on the cloud. She knocked on the door, waiting for hopefully, Chatterjoy to answer it. Instead it was Filler. "Can I help you Your Majesty?" the undead pony asked curiously.
"Have you seen Chatterjoy?"
"Not till she went to hang out with you Princess," Filler replied worriedly, "Is she okay?" His bones rattled nervously, as he continued to look at the growing anger of the princess.
"She won't be when I find her!"
"What did she do?" Filler sighed.
"Messed with my experiments and stole some books."
Filler just shut the door, but called out from inside. "If she comes back, I'll send her straight to you, Your Majesty!"
Twilight sighed, but as she was about to leave, Filler came out with a secret weapon, "If things get ugly. Use this." Twilight then smiled and took the weapon within her magic aura and took off for the fortress.
The princess looked up at the fortress that Chatterjoy had made. She sighed but knocked on the cushion door once again. The sofa clerk answered and had a hopeful look in his eyes. "I'm here to talk to Chatterjoy," Twilight said with an annoyed tone in her voice.
"Come on in," the clerk replied, stepping aside to allow the princess in. Twilight nodded to him in thanks when she passed him, and she gazed around the fortress in awe. Wondering how in the heavens that Chatterjoy had managed to make it look somewhat like a library.
The pegasus herself was in the chair with her back facing the princess. As Twilight approached, Chatterjoy turned the chair around to face her, stroking the henchgoo like she would a cat. "Welcome to my fortress Princess Twilight. I have been expecting you. No one can resist my evil deeds. We can discuss a ransom."
Twilight didn't even bother glaring, as she settling with merely just staring at the pegasus. She lifted the weapon up, so that Chatterjoy could see it clearly. The reaction was what she didn't expect. Chatterjoy held up her own weapon and wiggled her eyebrows.
"Release Mini Princess Luna."
"Not until you release that first edition book on math and magic."
The two mares continued to stare at each other till Twilight had gotten an idea. She began to pull at the doll threatening to rip it apart. "Release the book or the doll gets it."
Chatterjoy retorted by setting the book down and lifting up her cup of hot chocolate, threatening to pour the hot brown liquid a top the book. The glares they gave each other became more and more heated, till Twilight pointed behind her and shouted, "Look a distraction!" When the pegasus turned to look around, the princess had grabbed her book.
"Dang foiled again."
After the pegasus conceded defeat she helped the princess get all the books that she stole down. "I must say, Chatterjoy, how did you get the books to stick?"
"Oh that's easy! Mr. Gak can spit out this goo that acts like glue, but it comes off without leaving a mark!" Chatterjoy replied patting her gooey companion.
Twilight had almost forgotten about the blob, "I'm sorry Chatterjoy but I have to take him. He could be a danger to everypony. I don't know what chemicals you mixed in the labs. He could be radioactive."
Chatterjoy's reaction was what was expected. "No!" she exclaimed hugging her henchgoo and giving Twilight the biggest cutest eyes that she could muster. The pegasus was holding the henchgoo tightly, and its glue like properties most likely meant that the goo wasn't leaving Chatterjoy anytime soon. "Besides I've been around him for a while and I'm perfectly fine!"
'That is something that can be debated,' Twilight thought inwardly, slightly grimacing. "Let's make a deal then. I take him, and make sure he isn't radioactive or a danger. If he is perfectly fine, I'll give him back," Twilight argued. Chatterjoy thought about this before slowly giving her consent before handing over the goo.
"You said his name was Mr. Gak?" Twilight asked after holding the creature with her magic. Chatterjoy nodded an affirmative. "I'll be sure to take care of Mr. Gak."
"Okay. Also, if he behaves badly, just yell out his full name."
"Full name?"
"Yeah! G.A.K. stands for Gooliciousnessly Awesome Kooky. Like Cookie except spelled, k-o-o-k-y. I had a friend who always called me that, though why they couldn't just call me 'cookie' was beyond me."
Chatterjoy hit the snooze button on her Celestia alarm clock. She woke up and stretched. The clock said 6:00 and the pegasus groaned inwardly. It had been five weeks since arriving at this foal's camp. She was 'supposed' to be a camp counselor, but for the past few weeks her and her cohorts had been doing nothing but construction labor.
The pegasus didn't mind too much at the beginning, but now it was just getting taxing. Especially with the unicorn Vexing. Chatterjoy had once been in colt scouts so camping and the like were nothing new to her, but this stallion had refused to believe her. The pegasus had even overheard him saying that she had never been in the mountains before. He wouldn't even let her drink water in peace!
He was also favorited by the bosses. An older stallion with his wife. Vexing was a family friend of theirs and he could do no wrong. He always found someway to get Chatterjoy and her co-workers in trouble. During a gun safety training session he had even accused Chatterjoy and her new found earth pony friend Thunder Thighs of goofing off. For his information, they goofed off after the session.
The boss also didn't take Chatterjoy's colt scouting experience to heart. They had been preparing for a foals' camp last week. Vexing was in charge of the hike, and the boss all wanted them to go on the it. Chatterjoy loved hiking, but they didn't even start on the actual trail.
He left the trail, got confused a few times, and Chatterjoy had even pointed out that, if he had done this trail so many times, as he had claimed. How come he was confused? The boss told her that he was okay and everything was fine. They had eventually left the trail completely and had begun to mountaineer. Chatterjoy wouldn't have minded, if they had been prepared for it.
Their acting nurse hadn't been prepared properly for a mountaineering trip. She had tripped on her own hooves repeatedly. The mare had told them before the hike that she didn't do hiking very much, but nopony listened to her.
To be nice to her grounded co-workers, Chatterjoy didn't use her wings to escape the intensity of going straight up. Unfortunately, Chatterjoy had told them she was not very sure footed and would be a slow hiker. Vexing didn't listen and kept a fast pace. Chatterjoy snorted at the memory. He claimed to have had a bad hip, but the unicorn was sure running up a mountain pretty fast for a bad hip.
The pegasus had told him to slow down, but he refused to listen. In trying to keep up, Chatterjoy had slipped on a log they were using to avoid some thorn bushes. Her front right leg got cut from a sharpened end of the log underneath and was lightly bleeding. It wasn't too deep and she would be fine. Chatterjoy knew that much. Didn't stop it from hurting like Tartarus though.
On top of that her knee slightly hurt. Chatterjoy had just assumed that it was bruised and would be fine. They had barely stopped for water breaks as well. Chatterjoy had made it a policy to where if Vexing wasn't going to slow down, she would go her own pace and plop down for a drink of water when she needed it.
Thunder Thighs had stayed with her all throughout the hike. In the end, when they had made it to the top. Vexing had told the boss that Chatterjoy and Thunder Thighs were complaining the whole way.
'Liar,' Chatterjoy thought. Though it wasn't the first time. One day, getting prepared to clean a cabin, Chatterjoy had spelt pure bleach onto her leg. Not that it would matter so much with the color of her fur, but the chemical burn sure would. The pegasus had turned on a nearby faucet to clean off the liquid, when Vexing accused her of wasting water.
"Excuse me for thinking my leg is more important," Chatterjoy had irritably replied. After that Vexing had told the boss that she had gotten chemical burn, but he had helped her, so she would be okay. The burn he claimed was also on her back left leg. The bleach had spelt on her front right leg, and she had even told the annoying unicorn that she was preventing a chemical burn.
Over her five week stay many incidents like that happened. Chatterjoy and her friends would be accused of not finishing something or doing something else, while Vexing was going away scott free. Chatterjoy had become more like Ranting Grump. Oh well, after today Thunder Thighs and her would be leaving.
Chatterjoy had finished packing her saddlebags and looked over her shoulder at her new earth pony friend. "All ready to go! Are you ready?"
It had been a few days since Twilight had returned the little goo to Chatterjoy. The monster was clean and actually produced clean energy when it had a rectal turbulence, as Twilight had put it. The goo also was able to create a a powerful glue that easily came off of any surface, leaving behind no marks and didn't even rip paper. It produced the glue by expectorating, also how Twilight had put it.
"What is rectal turbulence and expectorating?" Chatterjoy had asked the scientific princess.
"Oh...um...farting and spitting," Twilight replied with a blush.
Today, however, Chatterjoy planned to show off henchgoo to every pony in Ponyville, so that the easily spooked town wouldn't clobber him should Gak decide to go by himself. The pegasus had come up with an elaborate plan to introduce the entire town. She had needed a box and a megaphone.
The box was easily supplied by one Mr. Sofa Clerk. The megaphone so graciously borrowed from the Apple family. Chatterjoy placed the box in the middle of the town and jumped on top of it. She held the megaphone in her hoof and loudly called out, "Ponyville town meeting!"
After multiple callings, most of Ponyville had arrived. Twilight was hiding her face with a wing, and Chatterjoy's friends didn't look at the pony, pretending not to know her. Mayor Mare was about to tell Chatterjoy that she couldn't just randomly call town meeting, when the pegasus pulled out Gak.
The town flew into chaos. The ponies with the exception of Chatterjoy's friends and the mane six, began to topple over market stalls and one another in their panic to get away from the goo. One mare continued to scream about the horror of it all, and Twilight cried into her wing with thoughts of having to clean all of this up.
"I just wanted to tell them about you so that wouldn't happen..."
Ponyville was in chaos. Chatterjoy had not anticipated the citizens of the town to immediately begin panicking. Gak gurgled uncertainly on her back. "It's okay buddy. We'll get through this," Chatterjoy muttered reassuringly to the goo. The town had become a war zone. Somewhere along the way in attempts to calm the townsfolk Twilight had been run over by a stallion pulling a cart loaded with food and was currently unconscious.
"We just have to get over to the Princess. Rescue her. Then take her back home and prepare the Calmzooka. Once we do that, the town should go back to normal," Chatterjoy said. The two were currently hiding behind an overturned stall. Princess Twilight was in the center of the plaza. Many other ponies were stampeding through the town. If one was unlucky enough to get caught in, they would end up hurt. Badly.
Chatterjoy took in deep breaths before she jumped over the stall and galloped to the knocked out princess. Gak inflated himself so that he could put the princess in his stomach. "Objective one complete!" the pegasus exclaimed happily.
Gak suddenly gurgled in alarm. Chatterjoy happened to turn just in time to avoid being smashed by the rearing stallion. The pegasus had managed to roll out of the way, while the stallion continued to run in a random direction. Chatterjoy turned to make sure that Gak still had the Princess. "All right! Now it's time to go to Star Gazer! Follow me!" Chatterjoy broke off into a gallop towards the inn where Star Gazer and Jazzy Mellows were currently occupying.
When the trio had arrived at the inn, it was deserted. All the ponies must have heard what had happened in the square and took off, or they themselves were at the square considering Chatterjoy had made sure that everypony in Ponyville came, with the exception of her friends. As Chatterjoy walked past the counter, Gak rolling behind her with the unconscious Princess, she noticed the bell. She smiled and couldn't help pressing her hoof on it countless times.
Ring. Ring. R-ring. Ring. Ring. R-r-r-ring. Ring.
Gak looked annoyed, as Chatterjoy continued to press the bell. Gak was about to gurgle, when Jazzy and Star Gazer appeared in a hurry. "For the love of Ce-" Jazzy began to scream. Her voice caught in her throat, when she noticed who it was. Her expression became flat, and Star Gazer looked at Gak curiously. "Chatterjoy? What are you doing here? What is that? Why is the Princess unconscious? Why for the love of all that is friendship and goodness are you playing with that bell!"
Chatterjoy smiled at her friend and took in a deep breath, "Well, you see. This is Gak, the one that I was telling you about. You know - the thing I accidentally made in Twilight's lab without her permission. This is the thing! Isn't he adorable? Well, I think he's adorable. I mean, he stretches, guys! Guys, he stretches like a gummy worm! Maybe I should have named him Gummy Worm. But he doesn't look like a gummy worm. But anyway, I showed him to the town so they wouldn't panic but guess what they did! They panicked! I can't believe them. Geez. Why would they panic, when I told them not to. I mean, we're ponies not hu-"
Gak covered her mouth and gave a slow shake of his head.
"Right. Forgot, not allowed. Anyway. They were panicking, and then Twilight tried to calm them, but she got hurt as you can see. I'm not very strong so I had Gak carry her here, because Star Gazer knows everything and I figured he would know how to fix this mess. Well, except that he usually gets us in the messes. Seriously, Star Gazer. Gosh. Anyway, since you guys were visiting, and Star Gazer would most likely be with you. For that, watch you ma call it. Dad told me about it once. You know the birds and the bees. I could have sworn birds ate bees. Do birds eat bees?"
Star Gazer and Jazzy had turned beet red, when Chatterjoy had asked them if they were doing the birds and the bees. They had even forgotten to correct Chatterjoy that in fact, she was the one who got them into messes. Obviously, her father had not explained it too well, because the pegasus was currently confused about whether or not birds ate bees.
"But if birds ate bees, why would you watch that together? How could you watch bees get eaten by birds in a room. They aren't in your room. Especially in winter! The bees are dead and the birds migrated. Anyway back on topic, then when this mess is finished you can go back to the birds and the bees. Wait, no I finished explaining. Gak, stay with these two, while I get Wordplay."
Gak nodded and turned to look at the pink unicorn and blue earth pony.
Jazzy finally was able to get a hold of herself, and was going to correct Chatterjoy. They had been doing nothing of the sort. First of all. Star Gazer had actually just arrived into town, and Jazzy was just talking to him outside of the hall, but Chatterjoy had already zipped outside to head to Wordplay's house.
Ponyville- Wordplay's House 12:05 P.M. G.A.K. Disaster
Wordplay heard a rapid rapping sound at her door. It didn't take a genius to figure out that it was probably one of her friends. She had noticed all the stampeding in the town. It wasn't all that surprising really. This was Ponyville, and the residents stampeded on a normal basis. Her friends probably went to just give her the news as to why the ponies were running around like crazed wild animals.
The rapping continued before Wordplay opened her door to see Chatterjoy with a wide grin on her face. Great, that probably means she's the cause of this. Wordplay thought, and she released a sigh. Her pegasus friend's face fell. "What did you do now Chatterjoy?" the purple unicorn asked with a bored expression.
"Nothing much!" Chatterjoy chirped, "I just happened to create a creature in Princess Twilight's lab without her permission, and then to get Ponyville used to the new addition, I attempted to introduce my new gooey friend to the populace. Then when I told them not to, they began to panic. I don't know why they would panic. Gak is such a nice goo. Like really nice, and I don't know why ponies can't understand that. I mean, I could understand, if he went around terrorizing the town. But-"
Chatterjoy had a lollipop stuck in her mouth. Wordplay's residual blue magic aura dissipated, after the unicorn had deemed that she had gotten sufficient information. "Okay Chatterjoy, where did you leave the goo?" Chatterjoy mumbled her reply, and some drool dripped from her mouth. Wordplay rolled her eyes, before her friend grinned releasing more saliva. She lifted a white leg and pointed to the inn.
"Thank you," Wordplay replied, "Let's go." She was not in the mood to deal with the antics of Chatterjoy today. The two ponies maneuvered with what looked practiced across the road of stampeding ponies. Chatterjoy opened the inn door and ushered Wordplay inside.
Ponyville- Inn 12:10 P.M. G.A.K. Disaster
When the two ponies walked into the inn, there was goo scattered everywhere. The Princess had been laid on top of a table. A bruise was forming by her horn. Jazzy had flipped a table and was now sitting behind it with a very unamused expression. Meanwhile, Star Gazer was thoroughly enjoying himself in trying to slice and dice the monster made of goo.
"You terrible beast!" Star Gazer cried out. It sounded frustrated, but only amusement graced his features. In order to talk, he had dropped his sword to the ground. He decided that if a blade was insufficient then surely his hooves could do what a sword could not. Gak laughed and it sounded like somepony clearing their throat.
Gak formed a slimy arm and grabbed the earth pony. The blue stallion struggled and his amused face became frustrated. "May Luna curse your dreams!" Star Gazer cried out. He then took a deep breath and began give a death rant about how he would be avenged.
Wordplay had taken this time to trot over to Jazzy. "What is going on?"
"Star Gazer decided that Gak was an evil monster to be vanquished, and was hoping that by killing it, he would get recognition from Princess Luna," Jazzy explained. She was clearly done with her coltfriend's antics.
Chatterjoy on the other hoof had walked up to Gak. She flew up to where Star Gazer was still giving his speech. "Star Gazer," Chatterjoy said, glaring at him, "What do you think you're doing to Gak?"
The earth pony turned towards Chatterjoy angrily, "What does it look like? Vanquishing a beast in the name of Luna!" At his outbursts the three mares rolled their eyes.
The pegasus turned towards the goo creature. "Set him down please Gak," Chatterjoy asked nicely. Gak gurgled a reply before calling back his goo from around the inn. Star Gazer looked miffed and reached for his sword. A glare from Jazzy stopped him, and he began to sulk.
"Ugh," Princess Twilight groaned, opening her eyes slowly. "I feel like a stampede ran all over me." The other occupants in the room smiled at the Princess sheepishly. "You've got to be kidding me."
"Well you see Princess," Chatterjoy began excitedly. As Chatterjoy began to rapidly explain to the royal, Star Gazer had once again engaged Gak in combat. The latter spewing goo over the entire inn and its occupants.
Ponyville- Town Square 12:15 P.M. G.A.K. Disaster Aftermath
Princess Twilight had managed to calm down the populace and the rebuilding of all the damaged buildings had been put under way. Gak's goo that had the ability to be a strong glue helped further the repair process exponentially. Twilight overlooked the rebuilding process and with a sigh walked towards Chatterjoy who was struggling to lift a plank of wood.
Twilight sighed, rolled her eyes, and enveloped the wood in her magical aura. Chatterjoy greeted her enthusiastically. "Yes, well. Hello to you to Chatterjoy. Just listen, please," Twilight replied tiredly. A large ice pack was being held next to her horn where the giant bruise was. Chatterjoy nodded and gave complete attention to the Princess. "Yes. Next time you plan to introduce something new to the town. Don't do it. Let me handle it next time."
Chatterjoy was currently telling her tale to Princess Twilight. The royal had asked where the pegasus went, when Twilight had first arrived at her lair.
"Well every lair needs to be well stocked!" Chatterjoy replied, as if it was the most obvious answer in the world. When Twilight asked what she meant, "You know, basic supplies. The most basic of all supplies. Food!" Chatterjoy's tail lashed happily of the thought of food. Gak gurgled appreciatively a top her head.
"Right, of course," Twilight replied with a shake of her head and a roll of her eyes.
"It was quite a quest, if I say so myself," Chatterjoy said, raising her eyes to look at the goo creature. "We had just left to go to the market..."
Chatterjoy searched high and low for the perfect specimen to fill her cabinet. Only this one would do and no other, and it had to be absolutely perfect. There could be no cut corners, and there could be no stall left unturned! The pegasus put her snout to the ground and started sniffing. Ponies moved out of her way, while continuing their own quests and conversation. A normal day at the market.
Finally she spied what she was looking for. The pear stand. The owner of the stall jumped when Chatterjoy just seemed creep into his view. Her body slowly sliding up on the other side of the counter. "Hello my good stallion!" Chatterjoy greeted in a voice as low as she could make it. "I require sustenance that is the delicious pear."
The stallion released a breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding. Rumors had flew about the pegasus giving villainy a try. Chatterjoy then took a pear and licked it. He was about to tell her that she would have to pay for that, when she started talking, "Hmm grown in Equestria. Near White Tail Wood, if I'm not mistaken."
"Actually yes. There are a family of pear farmers that live-"
Chatterjoy gave another lick and looked closely at the pear. "Natural spring water used for the plants. Tru Poo Fertilizer used." Chatterjoy then licked her lips in though before giving another lick. The stallion was quite impressed with Chatterjoy's diagnosis, but she really needed to pay for the pear. The pegasus gave out a hiss and stuck out her tongue, "And a tinge of...insecticide."
"Well, yes. We need to keep the pests off," the stallion replied nervously.
"As well as kill my insides! Mutiny! I dare say mutiny!" Chatterjoy cried angrily. She threw the pear onto the ground and trampled its insecticide ridden corpse. "Insecticide will not win today. Not today." Chatterjoy said.
"Let me get this straight," Twilight said interrupting the pegasus, "You trampled over a perfectly good pear that you tasted without paying for, because of...insecticide?"
"It kills your insides. I did Ponyville a favor!" Chatterjoy replied her hoof over her heart.
"I didn't peg you for an organic," Twilight stated, mentally noting to pay the pear salespony for the fruit.
"What's that?"
"I'll explain later."
"Then I'll continue my epic tale!" Chatterjoy exclaimed, diving right back into her story.
"What a disgrace," Chatterjoy thought, searching for another pear stand. Instead she located green and red chiles. "Well, that is another thing we need. Dried chiles make such great decorations and make the home smell so nice." Like with the pear salespony Chatterjoy crept into the peripheral of the mare running the stall.
"Oh! Chiquita!" The mare replied, "You startled me Chiquita. Can I help you?"
"Why yes good mare," Chatterjoy replied. "May I sample your wares?" The salespony nodded consent.
Like with the pear Chatterjoy licked the red chile and then the green one. "Hmm both grown in Mexicolt. Well water used. Not as good as spring water, but good enough. Ah yes, a hint of Popa Fertilizer. Great brand that one." The mare smiled. Chatterjoy licked again, "Yes, yes. Hoof picked. Ah, not a trace of insecticide! Perfect. I'll take a barrel of both red and green chiles please."
"That will be a total of twenty-five bits Chiquita," the mare replied kindly. Chatterjoy fished out the correct amount of money and handed it to the kind mare. "Thank you Chiquita."
"I didn't notice any chiles in the lair?" Twilight replied confused.
"Hmm. That's cause I hung them up in lair number two," Chatterjoy replied, "Their scent was a bit strong for a sofa fort lair."
Twilight was going to ask what was lair number two, when she walked into her home to get blasted with the scent of chiles. Her house was strung with the red and green chiles and her home looked festive, but Chatterjoy was right, these were strong smelling chiles.