I'll Fly Higher

by WittleScoots

The Fall Of Scootaloo

Inspired By the song "Ill fly higher"-http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z1NABQoH9e4

"Come on"Smiled the orange Filly as she stood tall on a cloud.she opened her wings her Purple eyes shone with Exitment."Ya Ready kid?" asked a mare Hovering near the grass.Scootaloo nodded she smiled Then Closed her eyes drew a breath then leaped keeping her eyes shut she fell only to be caught by a dashing rainbow that sped past.She Opened her eyes as the blue Pegasus Flew Faster every second The rainbow trail leading from her.

Colourful rainbow's catch my eye when i see you fly across the sky your like a drug that calms the mind

"YEAH"Screamed Scootaloo She Smiled feeling the wind in her purple mane.Suddenly Something went Lopsided.

Some people Call me a Chicken Some People say i cant

Scootaloo Woke with a start,"Kid,KID,KID"the Sound of Rainbows voice Drifted as she Fell back to the floor and Passed out once again."Oh Please Let 'er be okay"a Worried Applebloom Muttered.Scootaloo opened her eyes. she Coughed and looked at her surrounding's."Look Oh my Gosh! Shes waking up!"Smiled the young Unicorn Staring at Scootaloo with huge green Eyes."Oh Ma' Gosh Scoots Ya'll look terrib-Good 'a Mean Good Ya Reaall good"Gulped the Applebloom.a Moan Escaped scoots lips."W-what Happened"She Murmered."I Crashed"Sighed Rainbow Dash sitting on a seat on scootaloo's other side."I let you go...Scoots im soo sorry"Rainbow dash lept up from her seat and Hugged Scootaloo.Scootaloo felt some Intense pain but managed to summon enough strength to hug rainbow back.Rainbow Sat back down.i Thought Popped into scootaloos head.'Why is everypony sad its not like i was seriously hurt?'Scootaloo turned her head to see...a ragged pegasus wing Wrapped in a bandage.Her Eyes Widened in Shock."H-how Long do i Have to stay here?"She Whimpered."Ah...um..Scoots Ya See we Really Dont Know The Results but a' THings are looking...you may..never Fly Again."Applebloom Shifted her hoof on the floor.Rainbow dash Planted her Head in her Hoofs."Scoots im So Sorry!"She Began To Cry.Scootaloo Felt Awful she felt Like Crying herself. A Single Tear Trailed Down her Face."Oh Scootaloo Please Dont cry!"Wailed Sweetie belle.Scootaloo wiped the tears."Im..N-not Sweetie be-"Scootaloo Could'nt ever finish she Burst into tears.Her life had Offically ended Her Parents had Left her she had NO family and Now she Couldnt Fly.

The Orange Mare Sped Downwards Gaining speed she Bounced of a near By Cloud then landed on a scooter that sped off she was heading for the everfree forest when all of a sudden she leaped of letting the scooter roll away into the forest."NO NO NO"she Cried she sped after it but crashed into a screen of glass all she could do was watch the scooter roll away from."Scoots Scoots SCOOTS you ok?".Scootaloo woke up and twitched her wing that was broken."Heh Hi Scoots Can you move yet?"Asked Rainbow Dash.It Had been a Week.Scootaloo shook her head.Rainbow Dash Sighed then sat next to her."Scoots im So Sorry...i Really didnt mean to let you fall"Whimpered rainbow dash and scootaloo embraced for another hug.After the Painfull hug Rainbow had said "Dont Worry Scoots Ill get you something to eat" Then Walked out of the room.Scootaloo Snapped she Leaped out of the bed ingnoringing the pain then ripped the Bandage of her wing."If Im gunna be here forever and ever i want my Cutie mark First"She Smiled then Leaped for the window Grabbing the edge of the Window sill her Unbroken Wing Fluttered Giving her A Boost.she Knocked of a Vase of Flowers in the process but she was out and that was all that mattered.Lucky for scoots she was on the bottom floor and Jumped Down and Headed for the nearest Field.

I Know I Know if they give me the chance ill be the one who stands up tall ILL Be the one who rises above them all Ill be the one Who gets to Be SOMEBODY!

Rainbow Dash Entered the Room she Dropped the tray and her eyes Widened in Horror "SCOOTALOO!"She Yelled

Scootaloo Ran Across the field Jumping most of the Way she Opened her Broken Wing Ignoring the Pain SHe Leaped into the sky and Flapped as hard she could she Sped Across the sky Smiling but....She then Went Plummeting into a Wheat Field.a Small Black Dragon Hopped Over to her and Growled its eyes Growing Narrow."NIGHT,here!"Yelled a Voice From the Wheat,Out Stepped a Small Blue pegasus with a Brown mane and Freckles.She was about the same age as scootaloo."Hey Are you ok?"She Asked Offering her hoof.Scootaloo took the hoof and stood up brushing off the wheat.."I-im Okay"Scootaloo's World went upside down and she Fainted.

Scootaloo Woke Up on a bed 'Oh Not The Hospital'She Pleaded she Turned her head to see the pony that she had meet in the wheat Field."Your not okay my friend your wing is broke? What Happened"The Mare Turned and Stared at Scootaloo."W-well my friend Rainbow Dash Dropped me by Accident i fell.."She Murrmered."But its healed more than it would so you didnt fall in the wheat Field Did you?"Asked the Blue pony.Scootaloo Grunted 'THAT WAS MY EXCUSE!'"No I Went to the Hospital...i was there for about a week but then...i Couldnt Take it so...i Ran away"Sighed Scootaloo.The mare smiled "Nice to meet you my names Harmony"Harmony Smiled "My Name is Scootaloo"Smiled Scoots Back."So Scootaloo would you like to stay here im very sure i could heal you faster than the Hospital"Harmony Blinked her Yellow Eyes at Scootaloo."Well Uh Ok Harmony"Said Scootaloo

Comments

[CoolStoryBrony]

It'd be a great story if I didnt have to reread each line twice to understand it...

[Magiwarriorx]

LOL I was actually listening ro "I'll Fly Higher" when I first saw this.

[thatguyfromkfc]

I'm not gonna rate it right now. It could be good if the grammar and spelling was fixed. The spacing needs fixing as well. Every time a new person speaks put a space. Also after a speech mark and full stop.

Hope this helps!

-thatguyfromkfc

[Mach and Gracie]

...okay, I'll say this right now, and without being too brash:
You need a prereader.
If you're not sure on your writing abilities, start asking around! Ask some of the smaller authors on the site if they'd preread for you ( that is, if they preread; don't want to bother anypony that doesn't do such, after all). But all this should be done before you submit a story.
I'm not going to rate it, purely because I have yet to try to read it ( I had to stop reading to type this ). One thing: expect some downvotes for the grammar and spelling mistakes. It's a pretty harsh truth, but others are bound to do so for little reason, anyways, so... expect it.
On the subject of having prereaders, if you really cannot find another, I'll be alright with going through it... shoot a PM towards me if you'd like. Ciao!

[Mist]

I think you need more of a description than what inspired you to make the story.

[SquareZack]

267156 My pre-reader's Kintra! just fyi, and i'm that kind of pony, i just saw your comment and replied to it...

[Mach and Gracie]

267641 Haha, no problem, I enjoy reading replies anyways. ;P

[SquareZack]

267656 so in your above comment to the story, you said 'smaller writers'. what would pass as an smaller writer and/or a 'larger' writer?

[tubaguy]

I recomend a pre-reader man, i like where this is going, just needs some polish

[Criticul]

267669 people that you would recognize if you heard their name. I am no such author xD
I still don't pre-read, sadly. :(

[Twystron500]

I became very ill while reading your fanfiction. I had to take painkillers, xanax and a few other perscriptions. I then went outside and placed a shovel on the ground, head pointed at me, and stomped it forcefully. In response, the handle, with great speed, struck me in the head. It felt so good to have the story's details removed from my memory. I also crammed a handful of potting soil into my mouth to mask the bad taste the story left. Just kidding.

[SquareZack]

267834 need a pre-reader?

[Criticul]

268012 I have plenty of those, I'm saying I'm not a pre-reader. I'd love to be, but I sadly don't have the time.

[SquareZack]

268029 oh ok then

[SonOfTheNorthe]

Nice try, but no.

[datdamnface]

267198 Wow, if that's your only point of contempt then the author must be doing something right!

[smashbrawlguy]

"Scootaloo Broke her Wing in a Fatal Trick with Rainbow Dash.Scoots wants to find her cutie mark"

"Fatal" means she died. I'm not even going to start on the rest, since this paraphrase sums it up pretty well:

"You didn’t submit a story. You submitted a large, awkward, random assemblage of sentences. If fact, the sentences you apparently kidnapped in the dead of night and forced into this violent and arbitrary plan of yours clearly seemed to be placed on the pages against their will. Reading your story was like watching unfamiliar, uncomfortable people interact at a cocktail party that no one wanted to attend in the first place. You didn’t submit a fan fiction. You submitted a hostage situation."

[Mist]

268125 Nah, it's just I didn't feel it necessary to harp on something that was already made obvious and instead offer something that would add to the criticism and not just repeat everyone else for no apparent reason.

[Dreamlike]

268174

Ouch. I didn't want to laugh at this, because that'd be rubbing salt in the wound. I'm ashamed to say that I did. Hard.

In all seriousness though, in spite of my deep seated hatred of everything grimdark, I think you have an awesome premise here. It just needs a ton of work.

[thatguyfromkfc]

I read this again and felt the overwhelming urge to walk outside and bash my head on a brick wall.

[Cinnamon Clover]

I'd love to preread if you need some help and, from the looks of it, you do.

[WittleScoots]

268174 ...I know! Ill Change it later what i mean is that Her Wings had a fatal Accident not her ill change it!282328 Ok Sure!

[smashbrawlguy]

305756

Congratulations. You have officially broken logic and the english language.

[Boydogblues]

um yeah, please do fix the spacing