Rainbow is having a normal day untill, Twilight says they need to see Celestia. Celestia has BIG news for the cyan pegasus. Rainbow is told that the fate of Equestria lies in her hooves. Can Rainbow defeat her new foe, the new of king of their foe country, Night Shade from taking over Equestria? Or is he REALLY the villan? And maybe Dash will be swoon by the new king? Read to find out. [Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time parody/crossover] [Most things will not be based off the game] [UPDATE: All current chapters have been spell checked and some new detail has been added to chapter 2.]
Chapters (4)
Proper structure will greatly help this story. I can see the shine that this story can have and once you get the formatting write it should be a lot better.
11231 Well, I just recently fixed the structure on Chapter 1. I tried my best to make it look ALOT better than it did when I first posted it. So it looks more like Chapter 2 and how the rest of the chapters and all of my other fanfictions are gonna look.
If you do make the story, then I commend you, since making something like this is going to take ALOT of effort and thinking.
Although I'd say at the start of every chapter atleast give us a description of the area that they are in, you know.. like:
"It was a beautiful day in [insert name of area here] and so [insert character here] started to [insert action here]"
You know what I mean? giving us a little description about what is going on or the area that the characters are in will help the story quite alot, I'd say extend the stories a little and run them over with the spell checker and make sure you polish them before you release them onto the site.
I don't really want to nit-pick.. but I might aswell. (since it's Constructive Criticism) make sure if you are going to make the story into a tradegy, then atleast make it serious, I can't imagine something really bad happening and me not wanting to or having to not make it feel serious.
19359 Okay, I know this is really going to take me ALOT of time, effort, and thinking. I agree with mainly describing where they are at the begging since from my memory of Ocarina of Time, there are so many places in the game you have to visit. Which means I have to search up the name of the place where they are, which is exactly what I did with Chapter 3. The way I kinda do the chapters practically like how you would play the game;
"Princess Zelda told you to go [insert place name here] to retrive [insert object name here] to save [insert person's name here]."
I just try my best to refrain my self from going into the next chapter too much. Like (I'll just give away this; it won't efect the story too much.) in chapter 4 it suppose to begin with Dashie waking up in the chicken herder's house and reciving a letter from a chicken. Also yes, I do run it through the whole spell check thing, though I use the method my 8th grade Language Arts teacher told me to do for story writing; type it first, forget about it over the next few days, and then check over it.
My problem is right now that there is something wrong with my computer right now, so I end up using my Wii (like I am right now) and you should know that the dictionary on there doesn't work out too well like you would want it to.
Now I really don't know if I'm going to keep tragedy, it does efect the story a little bit, but not where you go "Woah, what the f#*% just happened. It just efects how some of the charaters will think of each other, since Rainbow Dash is the most efected. So I may just throw tragedy out the window.
At this point the action is going by much too quickly. Try to ease up a bit on it; I'd rather see you take it slow so we can all enjoy the ride than see you rush through it just for the sake of ending it. If nothing else, once you do end up finishing it and have the time to do so you should end up going back and fleshing it out a little more.
19731 Wow.... That is exactly what I was going to do... So I really need to either go back and play the game again or just look at some walkthroughs of the game because I know I missed most of the action in chapter 2.
one i alway's pictured pinky pie beying the anoying little fairy
good story
Why I can finish this story in ten minutes flat?
OH GREAT Twilight is now Navi.
So far its odd and fast pace, but enjoyable.
Rainbow Dash is suppose to save Equestria. So far she has done nothing. I want to see where this goes.
Interesting.
I lol at the fact that rainbow is scared of spiders