Living the Reformed Life

by The Distinguished Fault

Chapter 1

“Alright ladies, let’s show him what friendship can do!”

“Wait wait wait!”

Pinkie Pie took her lasts gulps of chocolate rain. She then jumped up by her friend’s side, and let out a growl. I let out a yawn in retaliation, and sat back, relaxed, head up high, eyes closed to add the element of surprise to their feeble arsenal. However, when I opened them, I found my expectations more ruined than my chocolate milk of glass. Symbols of their elements whizzed passed me, perhaps they actually mustered up some of this ‘Magic of Friendship.’ Then, they floated up the in air, eyes glowing white, and a giant rainbow spat out of them, and twirled around to me. The second it hit, I tried to prop my feet up in a more casual position, to relax during their failed attempt, though I found my feet to be made of stone. I reached out towards the air for it to pull me out, though that little traitor took their side! The petrification creeped up my body, and slowly engulfed me. Then, came many a month of nothingness.

During this time of solitude, the air stayed by my side. Be it because of guilt, or just wanting to mock me, I will never know. What I do know is that the little ponies freed me after a while. They attempted to “reform” me, though their tactics were to orderly for my taste. I acted like I was reformed, saying “I’ve never had friend before” and all that Jazz. Not even Smooth Jazz, mind you. Believe me, I was doing my best to hold back a gag when that stunt went down. Then, Celestia took me to live in her castle, in Canterlot. Here is where the fun begins.

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“Discord! Wake up and speak to the ponies! They still don’t trust you, and you making them think there is a dragon in Canterlot isn’t helping!” An all too familiar voice yelled to me from across the corridor to my room.

“Aww, five more years mommy?” I asked. My eye slithered out, to see a very angry Alicorn staring at me.

“Fine, fine.” I grumbled, reverting myself from a dragon back to my draconequus state, and putting my eye back in. I turned around to see a gaping hole in the wall.

“I’ll take it you want me to do the ‘orderly’ thing, and repair it?” I asked, putting quite the babyish tone in the orderly. With a nod of her head, and a snap of my fingers, the hole was gone, filled with matching wall, and even insulation. The only difference was there was a pinup calendar of chocolate milk. She looked at me, with a face of utmost seriousness.

“What? Just remembering the good ol’ days. The days when things were fun.” I defended.

“I suppose if Fluttershy taught us anything it’s that I’ll have to have leniency with you. Now get yourself ready to address the ponies about your newfound goodness.” She said to me.

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“And here we have the Draconequus himself, to tell you about his newfound goodness. Without further ado, Discord!” Celestia said to the crowd a ponies, giving a wave of her hoof to the curtains. A symphony of brass played out beautifully and regally, making every composer in the audience question his/her life’s accomplishments. The curtains opened up, everypony looking intently at what it would reveal. There, sitting in all it’s glory, was a crude balloon representation of Me, Discord, with a quickly drawn, smeared smiley face on it. The crowd gasped in shock. Celestia turned around to address the audience, to see them looking at her expectantly.

“Wa- I don’t know where he went!” Celestia stammered out. Screams arose from the audience, and ponies started running away from the display. A confused Celestia turned to Luna to ask why they were reacting in such a way, only to see Luna looking at her as if she had seven eyes.

“What’s the matter Luna?” Celestia asked.

“Y-Your face! Tia, it’s your face!” Luna screamed out.

Celestia looked down to the polished tile she was standing atop, and what she saw in her reflection made her want to scream to the heavens why they have forsaken her. In her reflection, she had the glorious head of mine rather than hers.

“Discord… he must have sabotaged this event!” Celestia cried out.

“WIthout a doubt.” Luna agreed. She looked up the the Celestia staring at her.

“He’s done it to you as well!” Celestia exclaimed.

“Wondering why I’ve blessed you with such incomparable beauty?” I said. The two Regal Sisters looked around frantically for me, until their eyes laid down on the tile’s reflection of them.

“What? Just because I live in the tiles doesn’t give you upper-class ponies the right to looked down at me!” I stated angrily, crossing my arms and turning my head in disgust.

“Discord! This was your chance to have the ponies of Canterlot, and maybe even all of Equestria trust you, and you ruined it!” Celestia scolded.

“Ruined how? By livening up your hum-drum excuse for an event? I think they should be thanking me.” I argued.

“And what of our faces, we do not take kindly to what you have fed the newsponies of us!” Luna shouted.

“Just spend a millenium in stone to help with your complexion, it does wonders!” I told them. “Here, let me give you the salon I go to.” I whipped out a notepad and started scribbling down some words. I ripped out the sheet and handed it to their reflection, thus to them.

“The Element of Hairmony, open weekdays, 8am to 8pm” Celestia read aloud, a scowl forming on her face.

“The final product is good, though the employees’ service is just atrocious.” I explained.

With a sigh, Celestia said to me, “Just… go back to your hundred year dragon nap.”

“Awww, but you’ve gone and gotten me wide awake!” I argued.

There was a silence, and eventually I went back to my quarters.

Though secretly it was only going to be 98 years.

Author's Note:

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Comments

[corona320]

The antics are amusing. Not bad for a first. The balloon gag was hilarious.

[xgfhj]

...So I gave this a dislike, but I hope that doesn't discourage you. The reason I gave it a dislike is because it's just not up to par with some other Discord centric stories I’ve read recently, like Diary of a Pliant Tyrant and The Zen of Chaos, the story is kind of funny though...