Cadance expects a nice night on the town. Chrysalis expects a feast of love. They both get what they want, but in a way neither of them expect. The only question is how long can they keep it a secret?
The Mane Six bit feels weird. They have a 'Whoa!' moment then the Rainbow-Chrysalis back and forth kinda covers up the fact they're next-to-immediately on board with helping Twilight with one of their bitter enemies, and the only one to date who's taken over Equestria (more or less). With smiles and such no less.
They don't even stick around and debate and such - which not a focus of the story, would make the suspicion and paranoia feel more real. Instead they (minus Dash) feel like they're quickly on board for the whole thing and pleased to be part of it.
8605075 Yep, it’s done. New content from here on out. Thanks for putting up with it for this long.
8605350 It was a bit of touch and go during the summer, but especially so in recent months with all the ludicrous amounts of stress I had. I’m proud that I stuck to it despite it all, even if it did take a while. Might have even been out sooner had I not made those two new fics, but I don’t regret making them.
8605159 Had to go back and reread that part. I can kinda see what you mean, but after the initial shock and Twilight putting RD and Chryssy in bubbles, she does explain everything that was going on. Plus, Chrysalis does have polite and open conversation with them, which does ease tensions a bit.
I’m not sure what you mean by debating. Do you mean, discuss why they should help Chrysalis despite what she’s done? If that’s the case, then they may have their own reservations that can be addressed during the one on one time in the coming chapters. I know Rarity will have plenty of questions of her own.
That is closer to what I mean, yes. It just feels like they came to terms with it all far too quickly. She's an enemy known for deception and trickery, and the temporal lapse seems like it was a couple of minutes between "What's SHE doing here!?" and "Okay sure I'll help you guys!" See what I mean? I was expecting a more drawn out sequence where it takes longer for them to accept that she's even there let alone being on the level, and then more of a begrudging, "I don't like it but I guess I'll help... but only because I'm helping Twilight!" sort of bit?
That's not a personal desire or anything, that's just what seems to make logical sense to me in the flow of the story. The transition is over fairly quickly and the girls going forward seem fairly excited about helping out and even interacting with Chysalis as part of it. I'm not totally crazy, right?
8605726 Oh no, I completely understand. I feel a little bad that it’s so short now (That’s what she said). I recall weighing the options of drawing it out like you said, or getting on with it to the planning stages. Part of the reason I considered shortening it was because I wasn’t sure how long it would take and I knew the planning parts were going to take at least 2k words to do. Another reason was that the mane 6 weren’t really integral to the story itself. I mean, I had considered Chrysalis just going through this whole arc disguised, which led to the argument at the beginning. Laziness may have been a not so small factor too.
Looking back upon it and on chapters ahead, I’m glad I shortened it as I can use some of those reservations they may have as dialogue during the experiments. They are helping mostly as a favor to Twilight, but Chrysalis being polite does smooth things out a bit despite their suspicions.
8606382 I didn’t really intend for her to be so hostile at first, but the more i wrote her this way, the more it made sense and gave me the conflict I needed for this arc.
I can understand that. I just finished the finals myself for this semester. But yeah this chapter was pretty fun and still worth the wait. I'm still excited to see what happens between Shining and Chrysalis. Plus a fight against mother and sister would be pretty cool too.
I just hope the next chapter will be out in six months or so.=p
8607019 Oh okay also i take it the later bits of the plot will get up to speed? Also how about a sequel? Just asking in advance...for when the fanfic ends
8607162 Ehhh, not really? I think the furthest I'll go is some time after Twilicorn happens. I don't think I'd be able to get Tirek into this, not that I'm keen on it anyways as he's not a focus of the story. As for a sequel... I just want to finish this fic first. I'm way overdue on chapters. Plus, I kinda have a good wrap up idea anyways and a couple concepts for bonus chapters. I'll think more about it when I'm closer to the end, but don't hold your breath. I have plenty of other stories that need to be thawed out and worked on.
“I dunno, Fluttershy, artificial sweeteners are pretty bland,”
Hilariously enough, this is not true. Artificial sweeteners are hundreds to thousands of times more 'sweet' than sugar. The problem is that they have no nutritional value... Which is exactly why they're used.
Its been 11 months but its back. Woo!
Yeah, that went surprisingly better than even what I imagined - no property damage, no alarm sounded - I would say the meeting is a success here.
Is the "MASSIVE REVISION" done or should I wait to read it?
BRILLIANT!!!
WELL worth the wait!!!
The Mane Six bit feels weird. They have a 'Whoa!' moment then the Rainbow-Chrysalis back and forth kinda covers up the fact they're next-to-immediately on board with helping Twilight with one of their bitter enemies, and the only one to date who's taken over Equestria (more or less). With smiles and such no less.
They don't even stick around and debate and such - which not a focus of the story, would make the suspicion and paranoia feel more real. Instead they (minus Dash) feel like they're quickly on board for the whole thing and pleased to be part of it.
Small error,
Remove the bracket.
Well worth the w8 m8.
MUST THUMB UP HARDER
Wow. I didn't think this was coming back! Good to see I was wrong!
HELL TO THE YEAH. Thx for update
8605075
Yep, it’s done. New content from here on out. Thanks for putting up with it for this long.
8605350
It was a bit of touch and go during the summer, but especially so in recent months with all the ludicrous amounts of stress I had. I’m proud that I stuck to it despite it all, even if it did take a while. Might have even been out sooner had I not made those two new fics, but I don’t regret making them.
8605159
Had to go back and reread that part. I can kinda see what you mean, but after the initial shock and Twilight putting RD and Chryssy in bubbles, she does explain everything that was going on. Plus, Chrysalis does have polite and open conversation with them, which does ease tensions a bit.
I’m not sure what you mean by debating. Do you mean, discuss why they should help Chrysalis despite what she’s done? If that’s the case, then they may have their own reservations that can be addressed during the one on one time in the coming chapters. I know Rarity will have plenty of questions of her own.
8605703
That is closer to what I mean, yes. It just feels like they came to terms with it all far too quickly. She's an enemy known for deception and trickery, and the temporal lapse seems like it was a couple of minutes between "What's SHE doing here!?" and "Okay sure I'll help you guys!" See what I mean? I was expecting a more drawn out sequence where it takes longer for them to accept that she's even there let alone being on the level, and then more of a begrudging, "I don't like it but I guess I'll help... but only because I'm helping Twilight!" sort of bit?
That's not a personal desire or anything, that's just what seems to make logical sense to me in the flow of the story. The transition is over fairly quickly and the girls going forward seem fairly excited about helping out and even interacting with Chysalis as part of it. I'm not totally crazy, right?
*insert yes meme* its back
8605726
Oh no, I completely understand. I feel a little bad that it’s so short now (That’s what she said). I recall weighing the options of drawing it out like you said, or getting on with it to the planning stages. Part of the reason I considered shortening it was because I wasn’t sure how long it would take and I knew the planning parts were going to take at least 2k words to do. Another reason was that the mane 6 weren’t really integral to the story itself. I mean, I had considered Chrysalis just going through this whole arc disguised, which led to the argument at the beginning. Laziness may have been a not so small factor too.
Looking back upon it and on chapters ahead, I’m glad I shortened it as I can use some of those reservations they may have as dialogue during the experiments. They are helping mostly as a favor to Twilight, but Chrysalis being polite does smooth things out a bit despite their suspicions.
Awesome as always! Don't ever stop.
That went well.
Though I foresee some problems with Colourful Dyke, I mean Rainbow Dash.
8606382
I didn’t really intend for her to be so hostile at first, but the more i wrote her this way, the more it made sense and gave me the conflict I needed for this arc.
8605817
Works for me!
Yes!
tron approves of the fact that this story isn't dead
I can understand that. I just finished the finals myself for this semester. But yeah this chapter was pretty fun and still worth the wait. I'm still excited to see what happens between Shining and Chrysalis. Plus a fight against mother and sister would be pretty cool too.
I just hope the next chapter will be out in six months or so.=p
8607019
Oh okay also i take it the later bits of the plot will get up to speed? Also how about a sequel? Just asking in advance...for when the fanfic ends
8607162
Ehhh, not really? I think the furthest I'll go is some time after Twilicorn happens. I don't think I'd be able to get Tirek into this, not that I'm keen on it anyways as he's not a focus of the story. As for a sequel... I just want to finish this fic first. I'm way overdue on chapters. Plus, I kinda have a good wrap up idea anyways and a couple concepts for bonus chapters. I'll think more about it when I'm closer to the end, but don't hold your breath. I have plenty of other stories that need to be thawed out and worked on.
8607091
Don't jinx me! Quick, knock on wood!
Nice to see an update. Also if Chrysalis is in Ponyville for more than a few days I think Dash is going to have an aneurism, or be wanted for murder.
8607230
*knocks on wood*?
8608428
(It’s a superstition custom to avoid tempting fate. Like a Murphy’s Law loophole. I suggest a quick google search about it)
Oh hell yeah it's back! Glad to see Chrysalis being kind of a rude snarkmaster- that flight competition jab went pretty far, which I think fits.
Now to wait and see how she gets dragged kicking and screaming into being at least marginally nicer
a new update!!!! Praise the SUN!
8608612
Ah, okay.
Hilariously enough, this is not true. Artificial sweeteners are hundreds to thousands of times more 'sweet' than sugar. The problem is that they have no nutritional value... Which is exactly why they're used.
Your fact of the day...
8853142
Huh. Didn’t know that. I just figured Pinkie would like natural sugar over artificial sugar.