My Strange Family

by Dark Enigma

Crushed Muffins

Dinky is blissfully snoozing away when Scootaloo jumps out of bed, landing with a loud thud. She rouses at the noise, concerned somepony might do her harm. Out of the corner of her eye, she sees the eager pegasus filly run out the room. Dinky considers it insignificant, and turns away from the door, pulling in her blankets closer as she tries to go back to sleep.

What's today? Sunday? Dinky thinks to herself. She mentally sighs. Another day here in the orphanage. Another day to go by and... wait.

Dinky instantly opens her eyes at her realization. She kicks off her covers and hurries out of bed only to trip over the end guard rail as she tries to jump over it to fetch her saddle bag she packed yesterday before going to sleep. Collecting herself, Dinky quickly puts on the bag and gallops to the cafeteria. She has never gone this early to eat breakfast before. Upon arriving, she sets her bag down near the entrance and reads the clock ticking on the wall on the far end of the cafeteria. 6:43 am. Perfect, that gives me plenty of time to eat.

The cook has already prepared some food trays in an attempt to get a head start on the day. Dinky heads over to the kitchen. There, she stares at the trays, slightly confused at what's on them. Instead of the familiar slop, there's a steaming bowl of oatmeal with brightly colored carrots stacked neatly upon each other and a freshly squeezed glass of orange juice. "Hey, mister?" she says to the cook while she pulls in a tray.

"What?" says a gruff voice. The cook is a unicorn stallion with a mustard-yellow mane in a mane net. His coat is a milk chocolate color and his cutie mark is a metal soup pot. He's busy stirring oatmeal in a pot over the stove.

"Where's the usual breakfast?" Dinky asks.

"You're looking at it."

"Really?"

"Yeah, you gotta come early for breakfast, kid. This stuff doesn't stay fresh for long." The stallion grabs a plastic shaker from a wooden shelf next to the stove's hood and sprinkles some red powder into the pot.

Dinky looks up, thinking back at all the times she could of avoided her turmoil at breakfast these past years and quietly laughs at herself. She sure is glad this is the last time she'll have to deal with breakfast at the orphanage. I wonder if my new mother knows how to cook anything else besides muffins. I wonder if it's okay to call her mom. It feels like a funny word. Mom...

"Hey," says the cook. "Why'd you pick today to be early for breakfast, Dinky?"

"Huh? You know my name?" asks Dinky, shaking her head as she snaps out of her daydream.

"Of course I do. I'm not just a mindless cook, you know." The stallion places another tray on the counter to replace the one Dinky grabbed.

Dinky smiles, but it quickly dies down. "If only Mrs. Whinny knew my name too."

"Ah, give her a break, kid. She's an old mare. She doesn't just have you to worry about. So?" asks the unicorn as he returns to tend his pot.

"So? What?"

"Is today a special day or something?"

"Oh." Dinky giggles. "I got adopted yesterday, and today they're picking me up."

"Congratulations, kid. Here." The cook places an apple on Dinky's tray with his magic, with his attention still on the food he's cooking. "Fresh from Sweet Apple Farms. I got a delivery just this morning."

"Thank you, um..."

"Stew. Call me Stew."

Dinky chuckles at the pun. "Thanks, Stew."

"No problem, kid. Hey, have fun with your new family."

Dinky grins in affirmation. She picks up her tray with her magic and walks over to her usual corner. Dinky sits down and takes a mouthful of the warm oatmeal. It's flavor is like nothing she's ever tasted before. It has a pleasant earthy feel to it with a little sweet taste of something. Cinnamon? Whatever it is, Dinky loves it. She takes a bite of a carrot and a sip of the orange juice. The carrot is cool, crisp, and delicious. And the orange juice, refreshing with a bit of tang to its sweetened flavor.

Dinky regrets not coming early for breakfast everyday. It's hard to believe that, in a few hours, this delectable meal will become the awful slop she has come to loath. She revels in the food, savoring every bite to its fullest. What more, there isn't a pony in sight to annoy her. Dinky is having a hard time eating and smiling without having some of the food in her mouth fall out. After a while, her cheeks begin to ache from trying to repress her growing smile, but she doesn't care.

A strange rolling sound comes down the hall. Dinky has never heard such a noise, so, instinctively, she turns to the source of the racket. Scootaloo enters the cafeteria riding a blue scooter. She stops by drifting to the side and takes off her helmet, flipping her mane to get rid of the imprint left behind by the helmet. She places her own saddle bag next to Dinky's and dismounts her ride.

Then she goes to the kitchen to get her own food. With a tray in her mouth, Scootaloo sees Dinky and heads toward her. Dinky prefers to be alone since no pony ever paid much attention to her and the attention she did get was usually from Flash Fire. She turns away hoping Scootaloo will pick a different place to sit.

Scootaloo places her tray next to Dinky's. "Hey, Dinky, right?"

"Uh-huh."

"Ya mind if I sit here?"

"Um... no, go ahead," Dinky says flatly.

Scootaloo sits down. "Cool. Um, hey. Sorry about last night. I was being a bit harsh on you. No hard feelings, right?"

"It's fine. I should have kept quiet and let you sleep. I was just a little excited, that's all."

Scootaloo laughs. "But if you didn't wake me up, we wouldn't have become friends."

"We're friends?" Dinky doesn't know how to feel about this. She has had friends before, but that was in her early years when she was optimistic about the future. After having to experience her friends leave her over and over, Dinky cut herself off from other ponies and stopped making friends.

"Heck yeah we are. Getting adopted on the same day has to count for something, don'tcha think?"

"I guess it does."

"Well don't guess." Scootaloo fills her mouth with oatmeal and downs it with two gulps of orange juice. She lets out a satisfying AH. "We're friends and nothing is gonna change that." Scootaloo extends her hoof towards Dinky.

Dinky stares at Scootaloo's hoof for a good while. She's still unsure about this whole "friends" thing. Hesitantly, she extends her own hoof to meet up with Scootaloo's in a hoof shake.

"So, who adopted you, and what is he or she like?" asks Scootaloo setting her sights on her own food.

"Umm, well, a couple came in to adopt me. The stallion is a doctor of some kind. He's... odd, but I like his voice. The mare, on the other hoof, was really, really nice to me. She likes to bake muffins... a lot."

"That's weird," says Scootaloo with a mouthful of oatmeal. She swallows it and then takes an aggressive bite out of a carrot. "Why muffins?"

"I don't know, but I don't mind. Um, who adopted you, and what are they like?"

Scootaloo takes another drink from her orange juice. "A pegasus adopted me. Her name is Rainbow Dash. She just got out of college and was looking for somepony to take under her wing to pass on everything she knows. She was a hotshot at Metrotpolis U, and wants somepony to carry on her legacy. She saw me shredding on my scooter out in the playground and really liked my moves."

"We have a playground?" asks Dinky.

Scootaloo shoots Dinky a confused look. "Ye-yeah, it's out back. You don't get out much, do you?"

Dinky stays silent. She doesn't want her first friend in a long time to think she's a social shut in, but she doesn't know how to prove it otherwise since that's exactly what she has become.

"Hey, don't worry about it," says Scootaloo, patting Dinky on the back. "Cuz, today, we're both getting out of this awful place."

Dinky smiles as she relives the moment she got adopted. Out of her nostalgia, Dinky looks at Scootaloo who is attacking her breakfast with such vigor. "Why are you eating so fast?"

"I told you I had to get up early. Rainbow Dash is picking me up at seven so we can go see this race at Wonderbolt Stadium."

Dinky and Scootaloo simultaneously glance at the clock. It's 6:53 am. "I only have seven minutes," says Scootaloo as she resumes her assault on the helpless meal. Dinky turns to her food. She came early, because she thought the food was going to be terrible, and it takes her forever to eat it.

She doesn't want to be hungry when the Doctor and Ditzy come pick her up. It'll be embarrassing having her stomach growl in front of them and she doesn't want them to think she's starving herself. Dinky really wants to make sure they get what they want out of a daughter, so they won't send her back to the orphanage.

"Hey," says Scootaloo.

"Huh." Dinky snaps out of her thoughts.

"While you were there staring at your food, I finished mine." Scootaloo turns to the clock. "I still got a good two minutes left. Want me to wait here till you finish, or I have to go?"

"Oh, uh, you don't have to wait for me. I don't have to go until eight, and I'm a slow eater." Dinky hates being a bother. She would rather have Scootaloo leave than wait around for her, even for a mere two minutes. Dinky can't think of a way to entertain her for two minutes. Being alone for most of her life has striped her ability to socialize and she doesn't want Scootaloo to think she's boring.

Scootaloo shakes her head. "So what? What kinda friend would I be if I just left you here all by yourself?"

A smile creeps onto Dinky's face and her eyes begin to water up.

"Whoa, hey," says Scootaloo. "Don't go crying on me. I'll leave if that's what you really want me to do."

"No, I don't want you to go." Dinky wipes her eyes.

"Then what's with the waterworks?"

"It's just..." Dinky hesitates. "I'm not used to ponies being this nice to me. That's all."

"Wow, this place really treated you that bad, huh? You shoulda talked to me sooner. You and I would of had loads of fun."

Dinky chuckles. "Too late for that now." Her face quickly saddens at her own remark.

"Now what's up?" asks Scootaloo.

"We're leaving."

"Yeah, that's a good thing, remember?"

"No, I mean yes, but..." Dinky sighs as she looks back down at her food. She plays around with a carrot, slowly rolling it around her tray with her hoof. "All the friends I make leave me. No pony sticks by me for long."

Scootaloo busts out laughing. "Is that all?" She continues laughing.

"Why is it so funny?" asks Dinky, tearing up some more.

Scootaloo calms down from her laughter. "If there's one thing I learnt from my big sis yesterday, it's loyalty. She and her friends have know each other practically since birth. If I want to be anything like my new big sis, I need to be loyal to every one of my friends, and that includes you." Scootaloo touches Dinky on her snout.

"Really?" Dinky sniffs.

"Totally, I don't care how big this city is. We'll find a time and place to hang out."

Dinky perks up from her small fit of sadness. "Okay, I'd like that."

Scootaloo opens her mouth to say something when Mrs. Whinny's voice interrupts her. "Scootaloo! Where are you? You're new sister is here to pick you up."

A voice Dinky has never heard before announces itself next. It sounds slightly raspy, but still young and full of life. "Yeah, squirt, we're gonna be late for the race."

Scootaloo leaps out of her seat. "I'm in the cafeteria!" She looks back at Dinky. "Um, looks like I gotta go."

Dinky tries her best to put on a smile despite her departing friend. "Yeah, I guess you do."

Scootaloo stretches out her hoof towards Dinky. "See you on the outside?" Her face is full of care which reminds Dinky of Ditzy's face. Saying goodbye to a friend is always hard. Dinky knows Scootaloo promised to spend some time with her outside of the orphanage, but the chances of them meeting again are slim and Dinky knows this.

Dinky grins. "Yeah." She bumps Scootaloo on her hoof in hopes of actually meeting again.

"There she is," says Mrs. Whinny. Walking in next to her is a sky blue pegasus mare with a multicolored mane and a cutie mark of a white cloud with a rainbow lightning bolt. She is quite beautiful, sleek and streamline as if she is built for speed.

Scootaloo flutters in the air with glee. She hops over to her new big sister. "Sup, Rainbow Dash."

"Hiya, squirt." Rainbow rubs Scootaloo's mane. "Come on, get your things. We gotta race to get to."

"Yes, ma'am." Scootaloo salutes Rainbow Dash by putting her left hoof to her forehead and pulling it away, glistening at the authority Rainbow Dash has over her. It's a stark reminder that she has a sister to call her own. She goes about putting on her saddle bag and mounting her scooter. "Ready," she says.

"Alright, let's go," says Rainbow with excitement.

Rainbow Dash takes off when Mrs. Whinny stops her from going too far. "Hang on, you need this if you want the adoption to mean anything to the city." She waves a rolled up piece of paper wrapped in a red ribbon. On the ribbon is the official seal of Metrotpolis City Hall.

Rainbow Dash sighs. She turns back and snatches the papers from Mrs. Whinny's hoof. "Anything else?" she asks impatiently.

"Nope, that's it."

"Good, cuz we're running late as is. Come on, Scoots. Double time." With that, she flies out of the cafeteria.

"Right behind you, Rainbow Dash." Scootaloo looks back at Dinky and waves at her. Without waiting for a response, she places her helmet on her head and chases after Rainbow Dash.

Dinky timidly waves back, wary of Mrs. Whinny's presence. It doesn't work though, because Mrs. Whinny heads her way. Oh, I didn't want to get her attention. The caretaker has a small smile on her face as she approaches Dinky.

"Um, you don't have to keep me company," says Dinky.

"What? No, dear. I'm just picking up Scootaloo's tray."

"Oh," says Dinky in a weak tone.

Mrs. Whinny takes Scootaloo's tray back into the kitchen, leaving Dinky behind alone. Dinky sighs and continues eating her food. She can never pinpoint why Mrs. Whinny treats her like this. She's just as bad as the families that come in to adopt, treating Dinky like an insignificant shadow.

* * *

It's 7:38 am. The Doctor and Ditzy will be here in twenty-two minutes. Some colts and fillies are already filling up the seats, so Dinky hurries with her meal. More and more ponies enter the cafeteria, talking away, stepping on Dinky's eardrums. Why does she find them so annoying?

Their underdeveloped voices stab at her ears like a barrage of needles. Maybe, after hating this place for so long, her physical body has grown an intolerance to everypony here. Whatever the reason may be, she doesn't want to be caught in the flood of ponies entering the cafeteria and be late to meet up with her new family.

Dinky washes down the last bite of oatmeal with the rest of her orange juice. She picks up her tray with her magic and steps down from her seat. This is the last time she'll have to do anything like this ever again. It makes her smile. There was never a time when Dinky smiled in the cafeteria before. She never had a reason to. But this day is very different.

Dinky trots to the kitchen, humming a tune she heard long ago. She places her tray on the side of the counter where it belongs. Looking around, she scans the kitchen for Stew, but he isn't there. He must have left after finishing up everypony's breakfast. It would have been nice to say goodbye.

Dinky goes to grab her saddle bag. She expects Flash Fire to come in any moment to ruin her day. It's a habit she gotten into every time she's about to leave the cafeteria. Seeing that nothing is happening, she steps out into the hallway and heads to the lobby, humming the same tune she was before. She sits down on top of the stairs and waits with a large smile on her face. The grandfather clock in the lobby ticks away, saying it's 7:40.

7:52, Dinky is playing with a ball she got from Mrs. Whinny last year. She rolls it around on the floor, occasionally throwing it off the stairs and watching it bounce all the way down, just to retrieve it with her magic, starting the process all over again. "There you are Dor-, uh, Dinky. Waiting for your new mommy and daddy?" asks Mrs. Whinny.

Dinky flattens her ears. I'm not five. I'm twelve, but you wouldn't know that. "Yeah, I am."

Mrs. Whinny condescendingly smiles, ignorant of how she is talking down to Dinky. "Okay. Would you like me to wait here with you?"

"Mm-hmm." Dinky desperately wants to show her what a terrible caretaker she is and how much she hates her, but she bites her tongue. She knows better than to act like Flash Fire.

Mrs. Whinny continues smiling as she sits down next to Dinky. Dinky notices Mrs. Whinny is carrying a parchment in her hoof similar to what she gave to Rainbow Dash when she came to pick up Scootaloo. Her hatred soon drains away as she looks back at the clock. It's actually happening. Dinky smiles and continues playing with her ball.

7:59, Dinky sits up, fixated on the face of the grandfather clock as the second hand ticks onward. It crosses the thirty second mark. Each tick resonates within Dinky, causing her heart to quicken. It flies by the forty-five second mark. She bites down on her lips. Can time go any faster? Dinky wonders. It reaches the fifty-nine second mark. Dinky closes her eyes and DING DONG. The clock announces the coming of the eighth hour of the morning, its metallic peal echoing off the walls. Dinky gasps, and opens her eyes.

She turns to the door, expecting it to swing open to reveal a path of light leading to a golden chariot holding her new family, but it remains motionless. She giggles to herself. Of course they're not going to be here on the dot. Nopony is that perfect. Dinky throws her ball downstairs and retrieves it. They'll be here any minute now.

* * *

8:21, Mrs. Whinny taps her right hoof. "Um, Dinky?"

"They'll be here." Dinky's voice sounds desperate.

Mrs. Whinny looks at Dinky. "Sure, dear. They'll be here." She smiles, full of pity.

Dinky lies on the floor lifeless. She rolls her ball slowly around in circles with her hoof.

"Um, Dinky?"

"I told you they'll be here," says Dinky a bit more irritated.

"I know, dear, but I have to go check on the foals. Here--" Mrs. Whinny hoofs her the adoption papers "--give this to your parents when they show up."

Dinky looks at them without moving her head and grabs them with her magic, placing them down next to her saddle bag. Mrs. Whinny stands up and gazes at Dinky. She wants to say something to make Dinky feel better, but she knows anything she says will have no effect on her. Despite her experience as a caretaker, she still does not know how to comfort an abandoned orphan, so she walks away.

Dinky feels numb. She closes her eyes to stop her tears, but it doesn't help. A steady stream flows onto the cold floor. She looks at her ball, it reminding her of Mrs. Whinny. Dinky scowls at it and throws it with all her magical energy at the front door. The ball hits hard, causing it to wheeze and lose some of the air inside. It falls limply on the ground. After everything Ditzy has said, they abandon her. This is worse than the ponies who ignore her. At least they say they don't want her, indirectly or not.

Something hits the front door like a stone. "Ow," says a voice muffled by the wood in the way. The sudden impact alone catches Dinky's attention.

The door creaks open. "You have to be more careful Ditzy," says the Doctor opening the door for his wife.

Ditzy walks in, rubbing her forehead, and holding a saddle bag in her mouth. She sees Dinky's face puffy from crying. Her own eyes tear up as she realizes what she has done, how she made Dinky feel. She rushes to her and hugs her, swinging her wildly back and forth. "I'm soooo sorry." Ditzy wails.

Dinky stays quiet. What can she say? It hurts to try to talk over the lump in her throat. The two ponies she hoped to call family are here, but at what cost?

Doctor Whooves steps up the stairs. "Terribly sorry we are late. I'm usually good at this sort of thing, time and all, but Ditzy's boss held us up for quite a bit more than expected."

Ditzy places Dinky back down. "I quit my job as mailmare, you see, so I can spend some more time with you. Um, I didn't know what kind of muffin you like so I made a whole bunch of them." Ditzy opens up her bag to reveal a mixed mess of scattered pieces of muffins and muffin wrappings. "Sorry they're kinda... uh... crushed. It happened when I hit the door." Ditzy, in a half smile, offers the bag to Dinky.

Dinky stares at the bag, unsure of what to say.

The Doctor places a hoof on Dinky's shoulder. "I know you feel like we've abandoned you. But, believe me when I say, we have not. We are here, and we still want you as a part of our family if you'd simply give us that chance. We may not be the best parents in the world--we are fairly new at this--but we love you, and we wouldn't dream of hurting you like we did today ever again. Not if I have anything to say about it. So what do you say, hmm? Do you still want us as a mum and pop?"

Dinky looks down and walks to her saddle bag. She stays there, mulling over the Doctor's question. This is her chance to finally have a family, but... they were late. She picks up the adoption papers and returns to the Doctor and Ditzy. The air is stale around them despite the open door allowing the cold wind to run rampant in the lobby. Dinky stares at them as they do to her, nopony blinking. No family is perfect, but--in the end--as long as they love her, it doesn't matter how imperfect they are. Dinky rolls the papers to them with her snout. "Let's go home."

Comments

[dream1990]

i love it

[Dark Enigma]

3172498 It's people like who you make me feel like this is all worth it.

[dream1990]

3172537 yeah

[Amberbloomie]

N'aaw, It's a really cute story!
I'm sorry if you are to take this into offense, I don't mean any, but you should put alittle more words on your phrases. I've noticed that sometimes it feels like I'm reading from a script, and that's not how you want to tell/show your story.

Again, I really, really like your story and I hope to see more of it soon. Fav and like to you!

[Dark Enigma]

3187171 Finally some constructive criticism. I do wish to get better as a writer so what you said really helped.

[Hilfe]

Oh, how I adore this comic already.

Keep it coming!

[Dark Enigma]

3200899 I'm glad you like it.

[High Moon]

Will read just because of the cover art... It makes me daw and I like dawing

[ambion]

Hello, I'm your WRITE reviewer. Let's dive right into it-

As of this review there's two chapters, both of which I've read. The story plays to a fairly well established common-consciousness set of characters, this being the Derpy/Doctor/Dinky family unit. If Sparkler is added as an older daughter, it'll be the very recognizeable group indeed. Playing to these fanon established groups isn't bad and, if anything, you do it pretty well here because you lead with Dinky, her feelings and opinions, which adds a bit of new perspective on the usual method.

If I had to describe the technical considerations of the story (which I do, so I shall) I would say (and am saying) that you have a very easy to follow, style grounded in simplicity. That's a good thing, and shows a strong grasp and mastery of the basic techniques. It does at times come across as the slightest bit rigid and wooden, but on the same hand we get, at times, very clever bits of more artsy writing such as the city-window-snowflake scene and the early-morning/late-morning breakfast contrasts, and these such moments bring out qualities of imagery I really rather like.

Otherwise, your technical correctness is unflappable. I didn't spot any errors, neither of the typo or grammatical variety.

Characters - I said before that you hold to the fanon established archtypes, and you do, but in a tempered and realistic manner (rather than the bowlderized/flanderized ones we sometimes see). For instance, Derpy is recognizeably Derpy, but she's not cheerily braindead either. The Doctor is eccentric and just a little esoteric, but whether that's just him or he really is the oft-portrayed 10th Time Lord (tenth) is yet to be seen.

Dinky herself is more interesting that I would initially have given her credit for. She's rather passive as a character, but already shows signs of breaking out of this, as is good now that the situation for her is changing. Otherwise, she's been somewhat the architect of her own misery for her time at the orphanage, and in conjunction with the Sad tag, makes me a little curious to see just how this new family holds up, if it will at all.

The mention of the oc Flash Fire and alt-verse Scootaloo particularily adds a bit of flavourful dialogue, and I'd think both characters return in some capacity for a sense of continuity and connection to the past (that being the orphanage) In particular, how Dinky grows and changes within both relationships (or doesn't) will be an interesting facet of this story, I feel.

My biggest criticism would be the shortage of words. (which isn't often a criticism of mine, so it's kind of a round-about compliment, in a small way). As of yet there's only just the opening act, and there's not much I can do to review beyond what I've done.

All in all - it's good writing. A little stringent in its style for my tastes, but I wouldn't go so far as to call it a quality that takes away from the enjoyment of the story. You've set out characters that have potential for conflicts, developments and growth, and all that it needs now is for it to be written.

[Dark Enigma]

Update coming soon. I'm done waiting for EQD.

[Dark Enigma]

3382585 Thanks, this really helped boost up my confidence.

[shadowstar618]

MOAR

you should brink sparkler into this

[Jonny Bench]

This is a very good story. I have been searching for a good one and it seems that I have found one. Please write more. This fic is awesome. My day has become 20% cooler, and better