Being stuck in an orphanage for most her life, Dinky doesn't know what it means to have a family. And with Hearth's Warming Eve a week away, the empty feeling eating at her is all the stronger. What she really wants; what she really wishes for the most is really what anypony wishes for around the holidays: to feel the warm embrace of a loving family. That's all; she doesn't care who loves her or if they're creepy or smell weird. She just wants to feel loved. Can anypony answer her prayer?
Chapters (2)
i love it
and i can't wait to see more chapters of this story when they come out
Glad you all like it, it means a lot to me.
3091938 i did like it and ok
So far it looks really promising, I'll be interested to see where it goes.
I wish you the best of luck, mate! I hope for the best.
Such an adorable story!
Really cute concept, I hope to see more! I EXPECT to see more!
Oh finally! Finally a good looking Dinky fiction! Believe me It's so hard to like dinky when nobody else does
I hope more people will come and upvote your story!
3121703
You will see more
Lookin' good so far.
Keep it up, mate.
NewWorldBrony when i click on chapter 2 'Crushed Muffins' it say this Enter the password the author set for this story to view it. can you fix that
3171013 I accidentally pushed publish when I went to edit the chapter. Fimfic has a lot of dangerous buttons next to important ones, like the clear all button next to the save button. The chapter will be fixed once I publish it. (Naturally, I unpublished it right after, cuz it ain't done.)
3171145 ok
3171236 Sorry about the tease. It wasn't my intention. Chapter two will be finished soon, I promise.
3171297 that ok and ok
i love it
3172498 It's people like who you make me feel like this is all worth it.
3172537 yeah
N'aaw, It's a really cute story!
I'm sorry if you are to take this into offense, I don't mean any, but you should put alittle more words on your phrases. I've noticed that sometimes it feels like I'm reading from a script, and that's not how you want to tell/show your story.
Again, I really, really like your story and I hope to see more of it soon. Fav and like to you!
3187171 Finally some constructive criticism. I do wish to get better as a writer so what you said really helped.
Oh, how I adore this comic already.
Keep it coming!
3200899 I'm glad you like it.
Will read just because of the cover art... It makes me daw and I like dawing
Hello, I'm your WRITE reviewer. Let's dive right into it-
As of this review there's two chapters, both of which I've read. The story plays to a fairly well established common-consciousness set of characters, this being the Derpy/Doctor/Dinky family unit. If Sparkler is added as an older daughter, it'll be the very recognizeable group indeed. Playing to these fanon established groups isn't bad and, if anything, you do it pretty well here because you lead with Dinky, her feelings and opinions, which adds a bit of new perspective on the usual method.
If I had to describe the technical considerations of the story (which I do, so I shall) I would say (and am saying) that you have a very easy to follow, style grounded in simplicity. That's a good thing, and shows a strong grasp and mastery of the basic techniques. It does at times come across as the slightest bit rigid and wooden, but on the same hand we get, at times, very clever bits of more artsy writing such as the city-window-snowflake scene and the early-morning/late-morning breakfast contrasts, and these such moments bring out qualities of imagery I really rather like.
Otherwise, your technical correctness is unflappable. I didn't spot any errors, neither of the typo or grammatical variety.
Characters - I said before that you hold to the fanon established archtypes, and you do, but in a tempered and realistic manner (rather than the bowlderized/flanderized ones we sometimes see). For instance, Derpy is recognizeably Derpy, but she's not cheerily braindead either. The Doctor is eccentric and just a little esoteric, but whether that's just him or he really is the oft-portrayed 10th Time Lord (
tenth) is yet to be seen.
Dinky herself is more interesting that I would initially have given her credit for. She's rather passive as a character, but already shows signs of breaking out of this, as is good now that the situation for her is changing. Otherwise, she's been somewhat the architect of her own misery for her time at the orphanage, and in conjunction with the Sad tag, makes me a little curious to see just how this new family holds up, if it will at all.
The mention of the oc Flash Fire and alt-verse Scootaloo particularily adds a bit of flavourful dialogue, and I'd think both characters return in some capacity for a sense of continuity and connection to the past (that being the orphanage) In particular, how Dinky grows and changes within both relationships (or doesn't) will be an interesting facet of this story, I feel.
My biggest criticism would be the shortage of words. (which isn't often a criticism of mine, so it's kind of a round-about compliment, in a small way). As of yet there's only just the opening act, and there's not much I can do to review beyond what I've done.
All in all - it's good writing. A little stringent in its style for my tastes, but I wouldn't go so far as to call it a quality that takes away from the enjoyment of the story. You've set out characters that have potential for conflicts, developments and growth, and all that it needs now is for it to be written.
Update coming soon. I'm done waiting for EQD.
3382585 Thanks, this really helped boost up my confidence.
MOAR
you should brink sparkler into this
This is a very good story. I have been searching for a good one and it seems that I have found one. Please write more. This fic is awesome. My day has become 20% cooler, and better