Fluttershy calls in the services of Iron Will to help her deal with some of the unfortunate issues that came with new Fluttershy. Warning: This is pretty much pure clop, includes male on futa, bondage and weird mind buggery.
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wunderbar.
I'm really curious about the sequel, does Fluttershy get a chance with Rainbow and Pinkie???
I like the mind of fluttershy fightning within herself and I always love Rainbow Dash being a sub (or whaterver you write it).
3062519 I am planning to do a sequel eventually, and I do intend to have Dash as a bit of a sub. Beyond that I have no plans at this time.
FSM bless you for providing the warnings up front. I'll be on my way now...
3081140 FSM?
3081292
The Flying Spaghetti Monster. Go forth and be touched by His Noodly Appendage.
3081328 Ahhhh... never seen that abbreviated before.
I was all weirded out until the ending. I kept reading because I wanted to see if she got over her problems.
Which... she sort of did... technically? Egh.
This story was so... mind boggling...
Yeah, that's the word... Mind boggling...
PS: Are you implying that English wasn't your first language... er? I dunno, you remind me of Russians with that profile pic >_>
Molodtsom~
3104294 English is my first language, I'm just bad at it. And I am planning on doing a sequel to this eventually that should resolve issues somewhat.
3105840
Oh, I got ya. Well, you make better use of words than I do, so that's gotta count for something xD
Hi!!!*hee hee* =-)
3125885 Yo, how's it going?
3125908 Not bad,not bad.Can't wait for this three day weekend.
Unfortunately I work on the weekend. Ah well, such is life.
3128313 Well that sucks,hope you make the best of your free time though,cause y'know,live life to the fullest,because you never know when you're gonna drop dead.
3130119 True that. I actually went out to see The World's End today, it was awesome.
3130434 Niiiiiiiiiiiiccee
There were a couple of grammatical mistakes that bothered me while reading this. And while I've never been fond of purposely causing pain during sex, I did find this fic somewhat enjoyable near the end. You really nailed Iron Will's character in terms of dialogue, so that's a plus.
However, I would heavily suggest that you do something with the text to designate a shift in personalities speaking. Personally, I was only really in this for the futanari, and I felt like you could have at least subtly mentioned her penis earlier on in the story.
It's not absolutely horrible, it just needs a bit more polish (i.e. more editing passes)
Keep writing!
3178996 Thankyou for the advice and encouragement!
Well, that was...interesting. I mean, I know I clicked on the fetish area of clopping, but dayum. I had no idea there were things like THAT there! I wish I could say more, but...I don't know what to think of this. Sometimes I wonder why I click on this stuff if I'm not going to even try to clop to this. Oh well! Curiosity killed the Charles, I guess. Anyway, the story. It was fine for what it was, I guess. I mean, I didn't really pay attention to the flaws, or the positives. I was kind of too busy paying attention to the whole clop part, and how it was really awkward to be reading for me not being into this kind of stuff. Well, I hope you enjoyed writing this, even if people like me are a little creeped out by this. No offence to the people who like this, or you, of course. It's just not my cup of tea.
3735614
Well thanks for giving it a read anyways!
I'm not really into the whole grudge-fuck thing, but the underlying story was damn compelling. This works well as a one shot, but, I think, needs a sequel or two to do it full justice. Or not. Your call. Anyway, faved and upvoted.