Pain In The Tail

After Applebuck Season, Applejack is very battered. Of all ponies, it's Rarity who has an idea on how to make her feel better.

(This version does not feature the crossover epilogue found on EqD, but will still connect with that universe in time.)

Chapters (1)

Comments ( 11 )

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Alyeskabird

Alyeskabird #1 · Sep 6th, 2011 · · ·

Short, yet amusing. I kinda hope there is more planed for this, it feels less than compleat.
I rather like how you included healing massage, its something thats often missed, as most do not understand its value. You also managed to flesh out some of the side characters rather nicely, giving depth and complexity, opening chances for more to exist than is shown. Most tend to favor shallower characters, as thay require less thought.

Nightbreak

Nightbreak #2 · Sep 7th, 2011 · · ·

3682

Yeah, it is rather incomplete. I rushed it at the time. There should be more and hopefully will be. Thanks for commenting!

Marrock

Marrock #3 · Sep 13th, 2011 · · ·

Makes me wish I could visit the twins' spa...

And extra points for knowing equine anatomical terms, I like seeing them used properly in these stories.

Nightbreak

Nightbreak #4 · Sep 14th, 2011 · · ·

4497

Thanks, Marrock. When I needed to know more info, I used Tom Clowder's excellent guide.

http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-hIiixR2lJ5U/TfszfH2_OjI/AAAAAAAAGDM/Vpu7VosbxDI/s1600/1307809802.tomclowder_pony-parts.png

Ganymede

Ganymede #5 · Oct 12th, 2011 · · ·

4582

That's it. I'm bookmarking that guide!

Steven Kodaly

Steven Kodaly #6 · Mar 11th, 2012 · · ·

This is some excellent writing! I do like how you were able to gloss over just what went into funding that spa when it opened up; it saves you the trouble of trudging through finance and underlines just how much in the way of assets Rarity can call upon at need.

Who says being generous can't be rewarding?

CouchCrusader

CouchCrusader #7 · Apr 7th, 2012 · · ·

Oh goody, it's actually here.

I was kinda miffed at the treatment this got on Equestria Daily, though I suppose that balls-through-the-wall epilogue of yours probably confused more readers than it should have, heh. I have no shame in admitting this is one of my favorite fics to date, just because the physicality of the piece is so lovingly rendered, and it doesn't rely on diving into the erotic or the gratuitous. I'll also admit that I tried to emulate some of the tone of this piece when writing something of my own, though I think the end result was inferior to what you have up here.

The characterization in here was excellent, too. Not enough people write Applejack and Rarity interacting with each other like this, and I think it's that comparative rar-- pardon, scarcity of the pair that makes it so interesting for me to read. Applejack's personality was spot on, as well -- I could hear all of her hesitations about the massage in my head like Ashleigh Ball hereself was speaking.

I do come back and read this story every now and again, just 'cause it just feels good, dammit. Cripes, I'm probably coming off as a creep by now, aren't I? My bad. Thank you for writing this story, though. Be proud of what you have here.

Nightbreak

Nightbreak #8 · Apr 8th, 2012 · · ·

418676

Thanks for the extended comment. Yes, the epilogue did cost me dearly on EqD, but I can very much understand why. There should have even been much more than this, but I did rush a little to try and get it out, and unwisely listened to one of my pre-readers when they suggested that the Spa Twins were indeed foreign, gun-running-for-giant-robots twins. :D

Also, the whole 'the hay, this isn't shipping!" comments didn't stop, but that was because I had anticipated people complaining about shipping in the first place (I come from a fandom where if they're on the same page, they're destined to be together. x.x) If I can ever get myself together and finish some of the other work I'm on, I will revisit this world again.

Dustin Lange