• Member Since 6th Oct, 2011
  • offline last seen Monday

Sapare


I write, sometimes. Hurting but never dead.

E

Writing prompt is "Mysterious creatures are attacking Ponyville."

Twilight Sparkle, Rainbow Dash and Applejack find themself in a very awkward position when their search for a group of missing ponies does not at all go as planned.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 1 )

Overall, a decent story. I enjoyed it.

However, there was a problem--there wasn't much to hook attention until maybe a third of the way through it. Until then it was...fairly eassy to get distracted from.

This got better as it went on, and it built up some steam, but it was still a problem--you had a lot of decent scenes, but everything was just a tad flat. Bloom is missing, but I dont get any sense of worry from AJ, and wheres Rarity, if Sweetie is missing?

Overall, it really just needs a bit of editing to add some spice to it, and maybe fic a couple issues with pony speech patterns.

But still a fun little fic. Very amusing twist on the creatures.

Login or register to comment