Pony Fantasy VI: The War of Chaos

by BeanyOne

Chapter 6: Sugar and Spice

Applejack's sleep was restless and tortured. Images of her family swirled through her mind, and one phrase kept repeating itself: "You could have prevented this. You could have prevented this." Everything she'd seen so far, the poisoning, the retaliation on the base, the Phantom Train, it all represented failed attempts to prevent or avenge the deaths of her family.

Applejack awoke to bright sunlight, but she felt as if she'd gotten no real sleep at all. Groggily sitting up and rubbing her eyes with her forehooves, she saw Luna and Fluttershy talking a short distance away. Fluttershy had glanced over and noticed Applejack was awake, so she nudged over a bowl of oatmeal she'd saved for Applejack's breakfast. The farm pony gratefully gobbled up the oatmeal with unexpected zeal.

"My, you must have been hungry," Fluttershy said with a smile.

"Yeah, reckon Ah was a mite more peckish than Ah thought."

"I was just telling Miss Luna here that unfortunately I can travel no further with you. I am on a personal journey of my own, and I can't possibly accompany you both and accomplish what I'm here to do at the same time." Fluttershy cast her gaze groundward and twiddled her hooves as she spoke.

Applejack smiled weakly. "Ah may be in a bit of a bad way mahself, but you've been nothing but helpful to us the whole time you've been along, Fluttershy. Ah reckon Ah speak fer both of us when Ah say yer welcome to come along any time ya want."

Luna nodded. "Dearest Fluttershy, your quest comes first for you. We have a date with destiny in Neighshe, but I am certain our paths will cross again someday. Until then, fare thee well, and do practice those assertiveness exercises I have shown you!"

Fluttershy smiled, then turned around, too timid to say another word. As she walked off into the distance, Luna pointed towards a nearby peak. "Applejack, dost thou recognize that mountain?"

Applejack squinted towards the indicated direction. "That one? Ah think that's just the mountain attached to Barren Falls, ain't it?"

"Correct. Fluttershy has scouted this area previously, and she said the quickest way to get to Ponyville from where we are is to leap over Barren Falls and cross the Veldt."

Applejack paled. "Are you insane in the membrane?! Look, Ah know you were able to lift that damn train, and I'd be scared as spit t'cross ya, but nopony's luck lasts forever! Ain't there any other way?"

"We've spent too long coming this far as it is. We need to get to Neighse posthaste, and we can't afford to make any more detours. It's a risky maneuver, but I believe we shall be all right."

Applejack sighed. Here she was, traveling with somepony who thought she was Mare Grylls, about to jump a waterfall as a time-saving measure. "Oh well, how much worse could it possibly get? Ah guess we've already cheated death."

"Good! Now climb upon my back." Luna pointed to a spot on her back she expected Applejack to mount.

"Wh-what?! Ah'm not gonna mount another mare! It ain't right!" Applejack exclaimed, face flushed bright scarlet.

"Come now, there is nothing weird about this situation. I am only doing it so that in case I have an unfortunate landing, thou might be spared."

"Ah ain't budgin' on that point, ma'am. If Ah jump, Ah jump on mah own."

Luna sighed. "All right, then. Are you ready?"

Applejack fastened the strap on her Stetson tightly, then steeled her nerves. "Ah'm ready."

The duo leapt rather ungracefully from the tip of Barren Falls, plummeting into the raging waters below.

---

A bouncy pink mare sporting a bushy mane and tail conjuring the very image of pink cotton candy was playing a lonely game of tiddlywinks at the base of the waterfall. This mare was quite capable of making her own fun, giggling and snorting as she ran back and forth from side to side imitating two ponies having a heated sporting match. As she wrapped up a round, the pink pony heard a couple of loud splashes behind her. Floating to the bank nearest the astonished pony were Luna and Applejack.

The bubbly mare broke into a fit of laughter. How absurd to think that two ponies jumped off the top of Barren Falls heedless to the danger! Luckily for them, she was medically trained and knew precisely how to rouse them from their unconscious slumber. She promptly sucked in a large quantity of water through a straw produced from parts unknown, distending her cheeks like a squirrel that was hoarding a few too many nuts. The comically oversized pony then proceeded to spew half the contents of the river over their unconscious bodies.

Luna awoke with a start, coughing and flailing about as if fighting off some invisible assailant. "Who goes there?!" she yelled, slipping into the Royal Canterlot Voice once more.

Her savior leaped back in surprise, then took off running in a random direction, zigzagging and looping while kicking up a cloud of dust. Luna could not help but gape at the incomprehensibly cartoonish antics of this pony, but she and Applejack did not have time to ponder why the laws of physics did not seem to apply universally.

Applejack groaned and sat up behind her. "What the hay is all the commotion? Are we dead or somethin'?"

Luna waved her hoof dismissively. "Nothing's wrong, Applejack. I think I saw a ghost...or a cotton candy monster."

Applejack gazed at the horizon. This was the infamous Veldt. In the distance there was nothing but flat savannah in all directions. All manner of beasts, local and exotic, seemed to prowl the area, making this an exceedingly dangerous area to camp for the night. In addition, if what Fluttershy told them was true, Ponyville lay far to the east, and they'd have to trek all day through the hazardous plains if they were to have any hope of reaching civilization.

Applejack placed her Stetson on her head, then she and Luna began trudging eastward in silence. It was gonna be a long day.

Before long, they were approached by a large group of rather vicious looking bears. Luna recognized them as being from the Mt. Colts region, steeling herself for battle. Applejack, for her part, had never had to fight bears before, but her confidence was not easily shaken. They both prepared to strike. Applejack closed her eyes and began concentrating, then went to draw her katana-

"WHEE!" came a shrill shriek behind them. A pink blur bounced off Luna's head, knocking the pugilistic princess into the ground. The pink pony they had seen before was rapidly dancing with the very confused bears, switching off so rapidly that she was leading all of them at once in what Applejack could only describe as a bizarre waltz. Giggling, the pony led all the bears into each other and arranged them so they were all dancing with each other, then pulled a stick off the ground and swung it hard, knocking the lot of them off into the horizon.

Words had completely failed Applejack. She was beyond capable of understanding what had just occurred, and she merely dropped her scabbard and stared. Luna, meanwhile, finally dislodged her face from the ground with a thick "pop." Furious, she motioned to sock the pony for causing her to faceplant, but the hyperactive mare was much too fast for her. Grasping the sides of her face with her forehooves in a show of mock fear, she yelled, "Look out, everypony! It's Nightmare Moon!" in her high-pitched cadence.

Before Luna could retort, the pony once more bounced off into the distance, giggling and snorting the whole way. Applejack sighed. "Y'know, if you don't calm down a bit, we won't even make it to Ponyville. You'll just be havin' a stroke the next time y'all tussle."

Luna shot Applejack a venomous glare, then began furiously stomping eastward, making a great show of her bloodlust.

---

Hours later, they had finally gotten close enough to Ponyville to see the town limits, though they had not continued without incident. The Veldt was a dangerous place, and they ran into frequent bands of monsters and the occasional Imperial patrol. Every time, however, before they could do anything, that strange, bouncy mare would show up and basically clean house. Applejack was thankful for the help, but it was beginning to creep the farm pony out. In addition, her traveling companion's face was getting more and more bruised, and her body was so tense it seemed like her blood pressure could suffer a fatal spike at any moment.

Before Applejack could say a word, Luna held up a hoof indignantly, attempting to retort through her disfigured face. "Noth a wordth, Abblejab."

"Ah was just gonna suggest we grab a room at the inn before shovin' off from Ponyville. Yer in no condition to go anywhere lookin' like that."

"I heal fabst," the princess replied unconvincingly. Applejack shrugged and decided it wasn't worth arguing over.

As they entered the town, the locals they approached fled in terror. Applejack smirked at Luna, receiving only a glare in response. None of the shopkeeps would dare lock eyes with the lunar princess, preferring instead to cower behind the safety of their counters. Even the guards were unable to stand their ground under the frightening gaze of the enraged diarch.

"All righb, fine." Luna surrendered herself to the inn for the night as Applejack stifled laughter.

The innkeeper was nowhere to be found. Luna sighed and climbed into bed wordlessly, while Applejack left a pouch on the counter with the inn's fee plus a little extra as "hazard pay."

---

To Applejack's bemusement, Luna's estimation of her own convalescence proved to be somewhat accurate. The swelling on her lips had reduced to the point that Luna could be understood once more. The welts on her body from being pummeled by the pink pony would take longer to fully heal, but she looked presentable enough that the duo could begin asking ponies how to return to Neighshe.

As Luna washed herself clean of the various bits of mud and grass she had been unceremoniously shoved into, Applejack queried an older stallion walking by the inn's entrance. "'Scuse me, sir, but me'n'mah friend are lookin' fer a way to get to Neighshe from here. Do ya have any info that could help?"

The stallion cast his gaze groundward, ashamed. "Gee, Miss, I sure wish I could help. The Empire's got all ships headed that way blockaded, and we just can't get through. The only other way would be...well, through the Serpent's Trench."

Applejack stared blankly. "The Serpa-whatsit?"

"It's an undersea passage with a strong current. It starts not far south from Ponyville, but the current is very strong. A lesser pony would likely be dashed to bits."

Applejack smirked, flexing her forelegs and bucking the air for show. "That's okay. We're plenty strong enough t'handle a little water."

The stallion rubbed the back of his neck with his forehoof, grinning sheepishly. "See, that's the other thing. The Serpent's Trench is underwater. The only pony I'd ever met who could hold his breath long enough to survive a trip through that trench went off to some island to fight a ghost pirate or something. I dunno, we never heard from him again."

Applejack frowned, deep in thought. "Yer right, Ah can't really hold mah breath that long. Is there any other way we can get through?"

"Well, you folks came from the west, and I assume you've crossed paths with that crazy pink mare that's always out in the Veldt playing with the creatures."

Applejack glanced inside the inn. Luna was apologizing to the innkeeper in her royal tone, which did little to ease his fears. "Yeah, you could say we've had a few run-ins."

"Somepony told me recently that that pink menace recently came into possession of an old artifact. It's supposedly very shiny and I'm not sure what it is, but from his description I hear it was once sought after by swimmers from olden times. Perhaps that could be of assistance."

Applejack nodded. "Well, thank ya kindly fer the information. We'll give it a shot."

Luna emerged from the inn as the stallion walked off. "Well, I had to leave a sizable tip on top of what we paid out last night. That innkeeper was rude enough to suggest I could cause him to lose his hearing! Can you imagine?!" she said indignantly.

Applejack snickered, but decided to change the subject. "Here's the deal. We gotta figure out some way t'get on that pink pony's good side. She may be able to help us get to Neighshe."

Luna's eyes shot daggers at Applejack. "There is no way you're suggesting what I think you're suggesting," she replied venomously.

"Look, we got no other choice. The Empire's already blockaded Neighshe, and you said we needed to get there as soon as possible. This is the only chance we got."

Luna sat on her haunches and dug at the dirt absently, mumbling to herself. After several awkward seconds, she glanced up at Applejack once more. "Fine, we'll do it. But how do you propose we get the attention of such a flighty filly?"

Applejack shrugged. "If Ah had any idea what was goin' on in that hyperactive hooligan's head, we wouldn't be in this jam. Ah have an idea, though. Mah granny always used t'say that hyper ponies crave sugar. Maybe we could win her over with a peace offering."

"Applejack, with all due respect, what logical sense does it make to give somepony who already flies off the handle at a mere glance more sugar?"

"You got any better ideas, Princess Pufferfish?" Luna glared in response. "Look, obviously talkin' and...whatever fightin' you've tried aren't workin'. This is the only idea Ah got left. Maybe she just wants a friend."

Luna scoffed as Applejack tossed a few bits on a street vendor's cart, picking up a couple of heavily frosted cupcakes to take along. "She's a menace. I do this under protest, you know."

"Yeah, yeah. Save it for the reunion."

---

Spotting their prey's trail proved to be simpler than the duo had imagined. A pile of wayward Imperial soldiers lay a short distance from Ponyville. The pink pony was dancing blithely around the unconscious forms of the soldiers. As she passed each one, she stuck a streamer in his mouth and a party hat on his head. Once she had completed her rounds, she leapt up on top of the pile and emitted fireworks and confetti from seemingly nowhere.

Luna glanced at Applejack as they approached. Applejack merely shrugged in response. There didn't seem to be any logic behind the pony's actions, and they were beginning to doubt the efficacy of their clever plan.

Suddenly the party pony jumped down from the pile and ran up to the duo, startling Applejack. She sniffed expectantly around the farm pony's saddlebags. Applejack pulled out the cupcakes, holding them out towards the pony. Her eyes widening and her mouth contorting into a gleeful grin, the pink pony pointed at herself. "For me?!"

No sooner did Applejack nod than both cupcakes vanished, and the pony began bouncing all over the place. Luna waited for an opportunity, then pounced on her. The mare giggled as she got back to her hooves. "Wow, you're quick! I didn't think you'd be able to catch me!"

Luna's face flushed crimson with rage. "BE STILL! We are trying to ask thee a question!"

The pony ignored Luna, instead bounding around the area aimlessly as Luna tried to keep up. The discipline Luna had built up over many years was on poor display as she became increasingly red-faced and sweaty. Meanwhile, the pink pony seemed to be having the time of her life. Instead of sweat, she seemed to be emitting confetti and party favors, and her mane smelled strongly of frosting. Luna stopped to catch her breath, employing the forgotten technique of the Royal Canterlot Wheeze. "Be...be still...Cease, thou boundless spirit!"

"Haha! That's a silly word! Maybe you should train more instead of learning silly words like 'thou!'"

The pony continued bouncing around Luna, the lunar mare ready to incinerate the ground. Every so often, the hyper filly would yell, "Thou!" at nopony in particular. Eventually, the pony stopped in front of Applejack, who had been watching speechlessly the entire time. "Thou? You look like you could use a party!"

Applejack stared blankly at the pink pony, lost in thought. Could this pony have figured me out? she thought to herself. It's true, she had not had many peaceful, happy thoughts since the assault on Sweet Apple Acres.

Luna was dumbstruck. "Desist! Thou do not know the pain that this pony has endured!"

Applejack held up a hoof to silence Luna. "No...no, she's right. Ah needed a bit of cheerin' up, and Ah think all she wants to do is be our friend."

"Whee! Friends! I'm so happy! My name's Pinkie Pie! I already know all about you guys!" the sugary mare said.

Luna raised an eyebrow. "Pray tell, how is that possible? We have not introduced ourselves-"

"Well, duh! I read your character bios! You guys have obviously had a rough couple of days, but Madame Pinkie is here to make everything better! I have something I think you'll like, but it's a surpri~se!" she intoned in a singsong cadence. "You'll have to follow me to the old rock farm far to the south of here. And don't worry about these silly beasties on the Veldt. Pinkie has so many friends!"

Without waiting for a response, Pinkie began cartwheeling with all four hooves towards the south. Applejack smirked, turning towards Luna. "Y'know, Ah don't think that mare's half bad. Ah can't understand half the crap she's talkin' about, but Ah think she's good for both morale and fightin'. Can't count out that kinda help."

Luna was still slack-jawed at the response Pinkie had issued forth. "What nonsense is this?! 'Character bios?!' Applejack, you can't seriously be ready to accept this farce!"

Applejack shrugged and started walking towards the south. Luna was content to grumble to herself for a few moments before she heard an amplified shout from the south: "Hey, Miss Thou! Are you coming or not?!"

"My name is not 'Miss Thou'!" Luna responded indignantly, running southward.

---

On the southern edge of the Veldt, there was a large mountain with a cave cut into the rock face. The mountain was otherwise largely ordinary, prompting Luna to turn to Pinkie. "Er...what exactly is this place? Why have you led us here, Miss Pie?"

"This is the rock farm, silly! This is where I grew up, aaaall by myself!"

Applejack looked around, noticing nothing besides the mountain itself and nothing inside the cave that drew her interest. "Uh, correct me if Ah'm wrong, but ain't a farm supposed to have somethin' growin'? Ah don't see anythin' growin' here, and Ah'm not so sure you can really grow rocks. What gives?"

"It's not a farm for growing rocks, silly. It's a farm where rocks grow their own food!" Satisfied with her explanation, Pinkie giggled and bounced inside the cave opening. Luna and Applejack shrugged at each other in mild bemusement before following her inside.

The inside of the "rock farm" was rather bare and plain. It looked no different from any other cave, damp and cool throughout. "Uh, Pinkie? You were sayin' ya lived here most of yer life? Isn't it...lonely and empty?" Applejack asked, tinged with sympathy.

"Oh, I've never had a problem with that. I've always had the most delightful company! See, right over there, it's Rocky! He just got back from a boxing tour in the Soneight Union! He likes to sing this silly song sometimes about his heart being on fire, but I don't think that's medically possible."

Luna's eyes were spinning in their sockets. "How in the hay can you even keep up with yourself?!"

Brushing off Luna's inquiry, Pinkie pointed to a mound of dirt in a corner of the cave. "There! That's the super awesome surprise I wanted to show you!"

Pinkie ran over to the mound and brushed the dirt off a large, round object with what appeared to be a glass viewport. Pinkie caressed the object, "ooh-ing" and "ah-ing" over how shiny it was. Exasperated, Luna let out a long sigh. "This whole quest was a useless wild goose chase!"

Applejack held up a hoof, thinking to herself. "No, wait. That old feller told me that Pinkie here had found something that could help us cross the Serpent's Trench. Ah was afraid it'd be one o'them machine thingamabobs, but this here looks like somethin' mah granny used to have. Ah think she called it a diver's helmet. In olden times, ponies used to put these over their heads and use them to breathe underwater. Ah'm not sure how it works, but Ah think if we jump in, we can trap a pocket of air in there and breathe for at least a little while."

"But there's only one helmet and three of us!" Luna replied. "How are we going to make this work?!"

As if on cue, Pinkie gave the other two a surprisingly strong bear hug, then shoved the helmet down on top of all three of their heads. "See? You can be stretchy too if you wanna! Whee!"

Pinkie shoved the trio into an uncontrollable roll, launching them out another cave opening that spilled into the raging waters of the Serpent's Trench. Luna's frantic protests were lost to the raging waters as they plunged haplessly into the depths.

Author's Note:

Oh my gosh, I am so sorry it took me so long to write this chapter. The quality may have suffered a bit because I split up writing into so many parts, and I've been absolutely slammed with classwork these past couple of months. Regardless, I hope it isn't TOO bad, and I hope I can make up for it with the next chapter or so! Thanks for being patient with me!

Comments

[BeanyOne]

3602746

Hilariously, another member of your team seems to have checked mine out a little. I did notice your guys' stuff but for similar reasons am trying not to read too much of it. It was merely a coincidence that I finally finished the latest chapter when you guys got featured, but I'll gladly remain in the shadow of giants if it means we both get to finish our stories.

Of course, the first thing to do is to conquer time and get more hours in the day to write. I am painfully slow at this, haha.

[that1dude]

Pinkie/Gau is so well done. I wish I could favorite this more than once.

[BeanyOne]

3617559

Now I really am going to blush, haha.

[BeanyOne]

I feel so bad having left this one dangling for so long. I think I'm gonna try to get back to it sometime within the next few weeks.