• Member Since 31st Mar, 2013
  • offline last seen Jul 18th, 2013

Peach Blossom


E

Discord has been reformed for some time now, and using his magic for good is coming easy as pie. (No Pinkie, we don't mean you.) Something seems to have gone wrong, and the world is rapidly changing. Dr. Whooves fears not only for his life, but Derpy and Dinkie's lives as well. Can he solve the problem with the help of Celestia, or is all of Equestria doomed under Discord's reign of terror? Inspired by the song "Discord" (TheLivingTombstone Remix) by EurobeatBrony.

Chapters (3)
Comments ( 3 )

This isn't bad, not bad at all. If I had to give some constructive criticism, it would be the pacing and transitions in your story. First you have Discord disappear, which is fine. Then you have Fluttershy wake up and notice that he's gone. Except you don't elaborate on that emotion or scene. Instead you jump into Dr. Whooves and Derpy. There needs to be a little more elaboration on Fluttershy. You already established her as Discord's best friend so there must be a lot of fear at his absence. It's okay to follow a character around for a while, even if the story isn't about them. Still, has potential so I'll keep on reading.

2700981 Okay. I'll see what I can do. :pinkiesad2:

Great! Keep going! :derpytongue2:

Login or register to comment