Discord

by Peach Blossom

Chapter 1

I'm not a fan of puppeteers,

But I have a nagging fear

That some one else is pulling at the strings.

Discord was curled up on a cloud near Fluttershy's bed. His first friend, he had chosen to live with her instead of on his own. Discord hoped that by doing this, Fluttershy's other friends would grow to trust him more. He sighed. Angel was snoring, and he couldn't fall asleep.

Discord rolled over and stared at the moon.

"Hm... That's funny. I swore that I just saw a shadow pass in front of the moon," he murmured.

"That's because you did," a voice said. A hoof covered his mouth as he was about to call for Fluttershy to wake up. Two more hooves covered his eyes, but something about them didn't seem right. As soon as they had arrived, the creatures were gone, and so was Discord.

---

The first light of a new day streamed through Fluttershy's window. She yawned and stretched, still under the covers, and stared at the ceiling. Discord was usually up by now, gathering carrots for Angel.

"Good morning, Discord," Fluttershy called. No reply came. "Discord?" She looked at his cloud beside her bed where he would wait for her to wake up after feeding angel.

"Oh no..."

---

Derpy was wandering through the skies on a clear morning, searching for her husband. Dr. Whooves was probably in his lab at home, doing who knows what.

"I need a muffin..." she muttered.

Derpy paused to think. Only when it was too late did he realize that she had stopped flapping her wings.

"Uh-oh!"

Derpy plummeted towards the ground, her eyes focusing only for a moment for her to realize that she was falling. She squeezed her eyes shut and prepared herself to hit the ground.

"Derpy! Were you thinking about muffins again?"

Dr. Whooves voice was right in front of her muzzle. Derpy opened her eyes. Her husband had caught her in a tractor beam that kept her from crashing into the ground.

"Sorry, Whooves. It's my eyes. When a Pegasus has crossed eyes they can forget to flap their wings. But I would like a muffin."

"Derps, you can't keep doing that! Dinky needs you."

Derpy nodded.

Whooves seems worried about something. I wonder what's wrong, Derpy thought.

"Dinky!" Derpy called to her daughter. "Dinky, where are you?"

Derpy continued to call to her daughter as she went inside to get a muffin.

---

Dr. Whooves was outside with Dinky. The filly was galloping around the yard, chasing butterflies. Dr. Whooves chuckled. His wife, Derpy, would love to watch this.

A flash of light that only his sensitive eyes could see took him to a vision. Discord was on the loose, and using his magic for evil. A horrible feeling crept into his gut. Discord was reformed! Surely he wouldn't want to hurt Fluttershy! Discord was a bit of a trickster, but this didn't feel right.

"Great Scott!" he muttered. "Dinky! Get inside!" Dr. Whooves commanded his filly.

Dinky obeyed quickly. Dr. Whooves heard a scream and looked up to see Derpy falling from the sky, her wings faltering as she tried to regain flight.

"Oh, Nightmare Moon! Derpy!"

He caught her in the tractor beam and set her down carefully. She talked to him, then went inside for a muffin and who knows what. But Dr. Whooves couldn't help but wonder if Discord was really Discord.

Comments

[TheOneAndOnlyPonatic]

This isn't bad, not bad at all. If I had to give some constructive criticism, it would be the pacing and transitions in your story. First you have Discord disappear, which is fine. Then you have Fluttershy wake up and notice that he's gone. Except you don't elaborate on that emotion or scene. Instead you jump into Dr. Whooves and Derpy. There needs to be a little more elaboration on Fluttershy. You already established her as Discord's best friend so there must be a lot of fear at his absence. It's okay to follow a character around for a while, even if the story isn't about them. Still, has potential so I'll keep on reading.