Twilight awoke to something she had never heard before. She heard a light humming that sounded almost like a lullaby. Every now and then the hums would turn into singing, but so lightly she could barely understand it.
“Lonely moon princess, goodnight sister mine, rest now in moonlight’s embrace...” She heard and then it dissolved back into humming. She recognized that voice, and as she opened her eyes she found Celestia sitting next to the balcony doors, looking up at the moon.
“Sleep... Sleep... Sleep” She sang after another bout of humming. The last syllable was drown out for a long time. She smiled, then, and got up.
“I know you’re awake, Twilight.” She said softly, turning towards the bed and smiling wide at the groggy filly. Twilight still felt Luna wrapped around her, but it wasn’t uncomfortable.
“What was that?” Twilight asked. Celestia smiling and crawled onto the bed, gently pulling the two filles closer to her with her wings.
“I was just feeling a bit nostalgic... For a few centuries, every night I would sing that lullaby to the moon, hoping it would reach my sister... I don’t know if they ever did, but she is with us now and I can ask her myself.” Celestia explained. Twilight looked at the dark filly dozing next to her and her expression fell slightly.
“What’s wrong?” Celestia asked.
“It’s just... I have no idea what really happened... I think she tried to explain it in the dream, but I couldn’t make heads or tails of it. And how the others were somehow here, how did that happen? I’m just confused... It all happened so fast.” Twilight explained.
“We will have to wait until she wakes for her side of it, but I got the full accounts of the others if you’d like to know in detail.” Celestia offered. Twilight thought for a moment.
“The others that were in the tower when it happened I can understand, at least kinda, but I have no idea who those earth ponies are.” Twilight said.
“They’re from Ponyville, a nice little village you can actually see from here on certain days...” Celestia started.
---
“What in tarnation?” Applejack said to herself. She was out on a late night apple bucking run, at least that was what she’d tell her big brother. Really she was just taking a nap out under the stars. She had just woken up and was about to get back to the house when she noticed something glowing in front of her.
She stepped towards the tree that had a strange glow to it, and found that the glow shifted. It must have been behind her, then. She quickly turned and out of the corner of her eye saw that everywhere shifted. The patch of apple trees she was in had a glow to it, but the source was her. She looked at her hooves to confirm this and indeed they were giving off a faint glow the same color as her coat.
That’s when she heard it.
Well, not really heard. She felt something. Her mind just perceived it in word form. It was a simple “I need your help, please.”.
What everypony in Ponyville knew about Applejack is that she was loyal to any and all that needed her help.
“Gosh darnit, where are ya?” She asked, wondering where this thing that needed help was. That’s when she felt it, something deep inside of her very being. She felt power, but not like when you get an adrenaline rush. It was more like that one time Rarity tried to levitate her. The unicorn had been unable to, Applejack’s stubborn nature combatting the weak wisps that was the spell’s energy.
This, though. It could have dragged her to the other side of the world without any trouble if it wanted to, and with a flash she thought it had. That’s when she heard a groan, a giggle and a few startled outbursts. She couldn’t see anything, though. There were six different light sources in the room, and all of them were blinding.
There was her own orange, there was a very familiar teal and pink, a deep magenta that seemed to not stay as one color, a light pink and finally an overpowering lavender.
The source of the lavender was what needed help. She didn’t know what it was, or why, but she still lent it her energy. Her power.
All five of the summoned ponies passed out simultaneously as a beam of multicolored light shot out of the window and impacted the moon.
After a few minutes, very slowly, what looked like a starry night given shape and form started appearing next to Twilight’s sleeping form. The night faded to reveal the blue filly that was Luna.
---
Pinkie had been in canterlot, at the palace actually, delivering a rather special delivery of baked goods to the palace chefs. She was bouncing down one of the halls to leave the palace to head back to the train station when she noticed something that she hadn’t seen before. She was glowing.
“Ooh! This is so cool! I can hang from the ceiling and be a disco ball! DISCO PARTY!!!” Pinkie explained, bouncing even higher as she started spinning around before she vanished in a flash.
She appeared and started giggling, she always loved being teleported. She heard thumps around her and looked around. For once she wasn’t thinking about a party, though, as a rather desperate presence filled her attention. Her face got serious as it asked for help and she gave it all she had.
---
“So, what was that glowing everypony had? I don’t know what could have even brought them here.” Twilight asked.
“Those were the elements of harmony at work. You are the element of magic, which is a sort of combination of the others. The others are Loyalty, Honesty, Laughter, Kindness and Generosity. Your connection to the elements is so strong that it pulled them through to you, and they readily gave you their aid. True friends, even though you barely knew most and didn’t even know some.” Celestia explained.
“I read and researched all of them, can they really do that?” Twilight asked.
“Apparently so.” Celestia said. She proceeded to nuzzle Twilight and settle down. “Now rest, we have a lot to discuss in the morning.” She continued. Twilight’s mind was still in overdrive trying to process everything, but when you’re already half asleep and the princess tells you to sleep? She was out before Celestia herself was.
Oh, man I can already imagine filly Fluttershy befriending Discord through sheer adorableness.
nice story you got here.
i would like to see some of the times luna and sparkle have. some random shenanigans here and there of those two fillies getting in trouble would be cute as well.
NOOOOOOO don't let an awesome story like this die... please.
A good story can't be written quickly and at once, it takes time. So I say, take as long as you need, no matter how long.
It's Lullay, not Lonely. (loo lay) It's a lullaby type word, saying to sleep, to calm down, etc.
I really hope you don't abandon this story, but if you need to take a break from it, go ahead. Forcing chapters out always results in a drop in quality. Good luck and good work.
That is all.
2843143 Tell that to the author of the story Rhubarb. :P
Lonely moon princess, goodnight sister mine, rest now in moonlight’s embrace...
This word is actually (assuming you're thinking of the same song I am, which I'm almost certain you are) "Lullay", a reference to the poem "Lullay, Mine Liking".
DONT LET IT DIE PLEASE!!!
2843143 you obviously don't know me, then
when it starts taking a long time, you know it's losing it. when I'm pumping out chapters like crazy, which earned my nickname industrial sized printing press, that's where my highest quality is. Because that means not only am I enjoying what I write, but I have a steady supply of ideas to write about.
2843165 I hear it as lonely, and it fits just as well : P
2843169 The only thing I see reviving this story is the sequel that I have planned, but if I can't get myself to get this one to the point where I can start a sequel and not have it feel cut off then that's a problem
2843204 no I'm referencing lullaby for a princess. It might be based on that poem but I dunno.
2843269 not really my choice
if it was up to me then every story I've written would be finished.
No matter the size of the update, filly Luna and filly Twilight cuddling is the most freaking adorable image ever.
2843330
well... sometimes you only need to look back and see that you are getting together a lot of people for something, in my personal opinion,mamazing, if you want we can help, that is if you need a hand, i think more than one person actually following you would help (i will)
2843330 But it IS Lullay Moon Princess in Ponyphonic's song
2843385 This is what it was
2843418 well unfortunately it's not as simple as that.
Imagine that a good amount of the last few chapters of something was building up to something. You don't know what it is but it's good.
all of that buildup, all of that setup for that one thing.
and then you lose what that one thing is.
It means that I have to rethink the entire storyline from the last chapter and on, because I have no idea where it was going in the first place. I've had stories that I managed to be steady and pump the chapters out one after another easily.
and then there are these where I lose the drive after a while because it's not something I'm used to. Without any real adventure or romance or violence, this story just fell to the back of a mind filled with those three things.
2843470 I don't doubt that. I hear it as lonely, though, so that's what I put
Please, let her adopt Shining Armour as well. It's kinda unfair that she just adopts Twilight, but not him
Seriously, please don't quit this story, I really like it, there may not be that much going on, but I can think of a couple of way's this could at least be rounded off well, like for instance, Twilight trying to find peace with the noble's she had difficulty with (didn't Celestia suggest that Twilight take defense lesson's?), another would include Twilight getting some kind of challenge that she'd have to get her new friends to help her with. . Don't just not finish it! Please!
2843554 trust me, if it was that easy this would be finished already
2843539 but he's a guard with station. He doesn't need it. And besides, he hasn't been introduced to the present story yet if memory serves
hmmm maybe then let stay it on hiatus
Damn. This was quite the story too...
If you feel you must stop, then stop.
But don't delete it. You may just want to come back and finish it one day.
~Skeeter The Lurker
Hm...
This story is really confusing to me. I love the premise, it's pretty interesting, and the story itself has its moments.
But... its not really written very well. The emotional parts fall flat in a lot of places, and the dialogue swings between awkward and flat-out terrible.
I'm not saying that you should stop writing, cos I want to see where this is going on, but it really, REALLY needs a re-write, at least in my humble opinion.
2843758 a rewrite would just be kicking a dead horse mate, I don't have the drive to even continue it and if I were to rewrite it then it'd probably only get four chapters in before it dies again.
2843726 I never delete a story unless I post a rewrite
2843943 *shrugs* Fair enough.
2843943
Good man. You've my respect.
~Skeeter The Lurker
PERFECT IDEA!! PUT A DARK NIGHT WITH VAMPIRES IN THIS STORY!
2844041 but I already have a vampire story
2843948 like I said, if it was that easy I'd have finished this already.
I thought it was a pretty good update all in all myself but you being the writer gets the final say in stuff like that
Well I cannot say I would not be sad to see this story go, I have been enjoying it a good but but hey, if you are out of ideas do what you gotta.
Awh I like this story. Make the ending having her big sized again and leaving for Ponyville old enough to live on her own and a proud mamma.
you just HAD to put that great song in there
2845761 of course I did
90% of this was written while listening to it
2845592 that's actually not a bad idea...
The issue I had with this chapter is that it seriously maims canon. Had you waited to bring Applejack and pinkie into it, and instead focused on the adorable (mis)adventures of three foals in the castle, you probably would have been able to continue. Additionally, by leaving Applejack and pinkie out you open scenes like Applejack joining her family to get tax writeoffs after a specifically bad harvest, like Pinkie spontaneously surprising the three of them by popping out of nowhere the way only she can, like Rainbow performing a sonic rainboom to prove to the Canterlot foals they're not worthless/to save her friend(s) from accidentally falling off a high place.
Instead you leapt straight to the Herculean act of saving Luna, and in doing so spontaneously and with flimsy reasoning introduced two new characters, thereby limiting yourself. Applejack isn't that "oh, she played with us while mom and her mom talked business" character, and pinkie isn't the "she's random, and crazy, but kinda fun", but they're both "those two that just popped up outta nowhere".
2846183 your comment made me literally facepalm
you obviously have not been paying attention in the slightest
for starters, you notice that alternate universe tag? it means cannon be damned
and you obviously aren't familiar with me, or else you'd know that I love luna as a character and will always be happy bringing her into a story.
2846198 precisely so, my friend
I say do what u gotta do will be here to support with whatever u wanna do. I also wanna say RamenNinja101 has a great idea right there for the story
2846256
Mayhaps you didn't read my comment fully. I do not disagree with bringing Luna in, I disagree with how soon and sudden it was. You could have been building up to that for several more chapters before using her release as the grand finale, but instead you dues ex machina'd applejack and pinkie.
2846332 again, you don't pay any attention at all.
when you lose the drive for a story, and then come back, anything you were building up to is lost and it's pretty much a desperate grab to find something that fits the story.
I know Luna and all was kind of rushed, I even acknowledged that fact many times in the comments and author's note.
It's better than cancelling the story, though, wouldn't you agree? If you would have actually paid attention you would know that ideally the story would end at least a few chapters after Luna wakes up because filly twilight and filly luna would be the most adorable thing ever together, and that's what this story is about.
sad to see this story end but ur the author. i support u and ur readings goodsir
I'm...totally lost with this story. I'm sorry.
First off, I understand you've lost your drive but I'd much rather no chapter than a below par one.
This Story has totally lost me.
The introduction of the characters was really weak and not thought out. Applejack and Rarities personalities aren't explained, none of the characters traits that link them to the elements are really shown (Not just merely mentioned in passing)
It is disappointing to see that you've lost your drive but I guess at a time where I think this story has lost cohesion, pace and flow I think I'm not surprised, I am happy that you are able to admit it rather than pumping out crapters just so the story has updates.
Character connections and bonds are not given enough time to form.
I hope you find a drive for this story again and it will most probably come at a time when you are not really expecting it, but if you return to this story please consider re-writing some of the issues out of previous chapters.
I don't think this story is lost and I love stories with Celestia and Twilight. Just sit back, relax, give the story a little TLC and I'm sure you'll be overflowing with good ideas in no time.
2843330 well id hate to see this story go the chapters may be short that kinda annoys me (happens all the time) but its not problem its a cute idea and is obviously well liked. i understand the loss of drive im at that point with my other story and its only 2 chapters -.-, sometimes you just need to wait till the spark reignites in a story. i find chatting its plot out with other intrested people helps everytime my editor calls and we discuss plot i get at least half a chapter done. (for me that alot) sometimes a full chapter just from talking about the plot. but thats me if the story dies so be it i got hundreds of other fics in line ot be read xD but if it does il need ot borrow a sad from luna :(
just give yourself the time you need mate, maybe get someone in for a fresh perspective and bounce ideas off them, maybe help with those last couple of chapters and extend these events and spread them apart, honestly i'd say don't introduce the whole mane six thing till a bit later let her meet them in a more normal way, like I don't know she accompanies celestia intoPonyville on some business and meets Pinke there maybe. anyway good luck just give it time, its not like you can never come back to it.
You did have something going on with those royal adoption papers last chapter. Perhaps you could expand upon it? If it helps, a time jump may be needed because there is just so many numerous things that can go on in a filly's life and from where I'm sitting a lot of them would make for too short of a chapter. Trying to combine them together would end up being confusing because of so many things happening just in that chapter alone. =S I'm sorry I can't be more help to you.
2847981 that was a nightmare, something Twilight's unconscious mind thought up that would be bad.
2847853 well it's already happened so I can't change it. For the two that didn't meet her naturally I do plan on giving them much more natural meetings along the lines of "Hey, you were that one that did this!".
I never planned to have any of them create super strong bonds of friendship with her, just enough for the elements to work really. The three she met would need that, but you know pinkie and AJ. Pinkie is best friends with everything she meets and AJ has a lot of honor and pride so she'd help anyone in trouble if she can.
2847720 well I've already lost the drive and had it reignited twice. Now I've lost it and I dunno if it'll reignite again. If it does I'll try to get a half decent ending to this thing.
2847713 thanks for not going about it like an egotistical prick like most people do when they start with 'you've lost me'.
You have no stories, so you can't really understand by experience, but sometimes you need crapters to progress the story to where all of your ideas are, and sometimes it takes so long you forget those ideas so you need more crapters to get to where the new ideas are and it's an endless cycle.
and I hate not updating such a popular story.
2847609 then don't read it
2846814
Filly Twi and Luna is what this story's about? Coulda - did - fooled me. Between the title, coverpic and description there's not even a hint of Luna being involved whatsoever. She's not even in the character tags. All of that leads one to believe this story is about the mother-daughter relationship between Celestia and Twilight.
2848277 well i would be gappy to give ideas if you want just skype me at jake_414 if you wish to chat, i always have time to help with MLP fanfictions :) and i hope you can find that spark :D best of luck to you.
2848295 not luna, the adorable interactions Twilight has with others as a filly adopted by Celestia.
This story was originally just going to be two or three chapters long, and don't ever tell the author what their own story is about
because they know a hell of a lot better than you do.
2849059 I added you, though that's the problem. Ideas, they're only coming in for other stories
This... I... ~sighs~ This story needs to end soon. It has become clear that either the motivation to write it or the driving plot behind it has seriously faltered. And from reading the comments it seems like a large chunk of both. I enjoyed this when was mostly about the Mother/Daughter relationship between Celestia and Twilight, when story was less important than the DAW. (not sure I spelled that right) I greatly enjoyed seeing the beginnings of a greater storyline starting to form and was looking forward to seeing what you did next. But it is painfully obvious that motivation went away a few chapters ago and I really don't think it came back.
While I have no MLP stories of my own I have worked with writers on other projects before, so I understand that from time to time you need to get through the "crapters" to get to the good parts, but if you get caught in a cycle where you are only putting out crapters because you don't have the motivation/forgot what you were going to do, then its time to either end the story quickly or just give up the project entirely. All it does is bring down what was once a good story and makes it crap. Yes it's sad to see a popular story die off like that, and it sucks in ways words can't describe to be the one to kill it. But better it die off then become a perverse shell of what it once was. (No I don't think that this story has become that, but I do see the start of that spiral)
As for the sequel, I think it might be best to let this go off on its own and then make a 'spiritual sequel'. Similar in concept but its own timeline. You wont have to worry about what befalls this one and be free to make things up as your motivation compels you. I am certainly still looking forward to it, and have a few of your other stories on my Read Later list. (Along with over 250 others... but my time is fairly limited with working full time and 5 year old daughter)
2850428 but can you keep that pace even though I'm not constant in the slightest?
one day there won't be anything for days, possibly even weeks
then suddenly in that one hour you said it would take you have three to do and another seven to do by the time you're done with those three?
experience says no. If I was a bit more consistent then I'd say sure in a heartbeat, and most of my chapters are written randomly through the day or somewhere between 1 and 6 am
2850240 Trust me, I already know everything you're saying. And if it was that easy to give this an ending it deserves then it would have finished already.
You may have worked with other writers, you can have worked with a thousand and still not understand in full. When a story that you are the sole creator of, everything comes from your head and your head alone, and all of that just suddenly stops coming there isn't much you can do.
Especially with a story that's not only popular, but was featured for a week and is the most popular one you've ever written you do not want to abandon it. And it pains me to write crapters, but it would pain me even more to end it suddenly and abruptly with a shitty ending
Fortunately, I was suggested a rather good goal to strive for as the end, so hopefully I'll start getting ideas again.
I love that song
2852446 it happens when you type fast at three in the morning lol
2856693 but it wasn't a random link
I said that it's what the scene was, so in essence i told you exactly what the link was.
and when it's a link in a story or author's notes, it's not going to be something weird or disturbing unless it's a weird or disturbing story