Identity

by jaked122

Purpose

Purpose

It was a simple enough problem, one whose solution had eluded her for the last thousand years of ruling alone, how to manage courts without losing your other pursuits in everything else; use robots. Now robots were sophisticated enough to run vastly complicated programs at a great enough speed that they could almost pass for an average pony; were it not for their obvious and debilitating inorganic nature. The FAQU-4038 unit was different. It was virtually living on its own right. A computer supported by the slow aerobic decomposition of organic feedstock ran perilously closely to the average pony’s brain’s speed. It produced organic feedstock for its own internal factories from the same fuel. It was not quite self-replicating, but FlutterCorp’s chief engineer promised that if that became relevant to the markets, FlutterCorp could have a firmware upgrade available in the next four weeks. It was expensive, but as FlutterCorp so soullessly advertised, it cost less than the average boarding school’s toiletries budget. It self-maintained, it also came with a feedstock reactor that could take in the various starch-amide mixtures known to most ponies as food.

She looked at the box. Celestia licked her lips; she might remember what her hobbies were. The flamboyant butterflies burnt onto the wood of the box demarcated the box as the property of FlutterCorp. She ripped the box open. After all, the public coffers were almost certainly full enough to pay the miniscule deposit. The robot inside was a jelly-bean shaped white mass, about the size of a normal pony (though it was promised quite enthusiastically that it could change size to a remarkable degree). The robot listlessly lifted its gaze to look upon Celestia, whom it registered as its owner. “I am FAQU-4038, Serial Number 12141414142, I am pleased to be of service to you, however, this is demoware, and is currently in the process of deleting itself from the unit you see before you. I am supposed to tell you how to customize the look and feel of your robot-” The robot suddenly went limp.

“That would explain a bit.” Celestia muttered. The robot fell over, leaving an unnatural dent in its shoulder blade. She sighed and picked it up, carrying the relatively hefty load with ease.

---

The computer, an example the fancier option available to unicorns and Alicorns, which utilized quanta-magical coupling effects to produce an infinite number of nearly identical threads which raced off in alternate universes and solved it using all of the instances of the unit, was supposedly the pinnacle of computer science, computer engineering, and quantum-magical chemistry; it also sat on a relatively unused, cheap, plywood desk. She channeled a bit of mana into it, in response to the feeding, it began to buzz just above the hearing range.

It ran through all of the footage of the Princess, ever, creating the most optimized Bayesian network to emulate her responses, which would have the greatest chance of fulfilling its purpose (of course, the computer doesn’t understand the concept of a purpose, so it chose one at random from the nearly optimal set of simulations to choose from).

The computer spat out a memory stick using the residual magic, which hit Celestia in the face.

“The techs wonder why I avoid using this ‘perfect’ piece of hardware.” She muttered.

She plugged it into the slacked robot. It roused itself, stood uneasily, and fell.

“This isn’t my body.” The imitation of her voice brought to mind the nightmare that the changelings could have created.

She recovered her composure silently, smiling at the robot. “No it isn’t. I wouldn’t be surprised if I were you.”

“It’s not every day that one goes to sleep and wakes up in a completely different body than you fell asleep in.” Celestia almost cringed at the reminder that this entity was really just running an instance of her own software.

“We’ve done that once before. You’ve done it a second time.”

“And yet it seems no less rudely done than it was before.”

“At least it was I who did it.”

“What does that matter to me? The instance that is facing adaptation to a whole new body, one that is a crude mockup of a pony’s anatomy, what have you done for me?”

“I gave you an existence.”

“And I was simply qualia floating through the Aether? Waiting for a form? No, I was nothing before, now I am some crude interpolation of you.”

“It isn’t crude by any standard—”

“Because the techs say it isn’t and the flash drive that hit you in the face is apparently a feature, not a bug.” Celestia grumbled. It was right. There were no real tests of the efficacy of either the computer that she owned, or the Bayesian network building software that she used in order to

“Well, can you guess what I’ve done for you?”

“Yeah, I get to rule Equestria on a 55/45 time share. Why do I have to be the one to do it?”

“I’ve almost forgotten about how whiny I could be when served injustice, I never expected that I would be the one to do it to myself-”

“Though it is nice to see that I can keep pace with myself easily.” The robot’s eyes flashed when it said this.

“Stop that, please.” Celestia smiled at the robot, which had started to approximate the form of Celestia. “It does not become a princess.”

“You’re the one who decided all those things all those years ago. I’m just a collection of byzantine solutions to a Bayesian network which is too complicated for any normal pony to follow mentally. I’m no better than a bunch of pop-culture references given form.”

“No. You have been given form from trillions of points of data. Relating only to me. You are me.”

“Then we should split the time, I can’t be expected to take all of your duties, after all.”

“I suppose that would be a bit cruel to myself. Fine we’ll split the shifts so I do one day, and you do the next. You start tomorrow.”

“Oh, good.” The incomplete head attempted a smile, a very warm smile, towards its self-proclaimed progenitor. Celestia held back a cringe and forced a smile. Just like that time that the vulture king got close enough that I could smell his breath.

---

Thank you for your interest in the FlutterCorp UFab machine. The UFab will be a universal fabricator that will make starting a production line as easy as magic for Twilight Sparkle*. With it, you will be able to produce a mock up for your plans, repair appliances that require replacement parts, and make more appliances. The FlutterCorp UFab machine comes with a free four week access to the FlutterCorp design database, which will allow you to manufacture anything that we can. Additional fees for provision of feedstock and licensing may apply in commercial or industrial ventures.

*Approximately within 1-5% of the ease which Twilight Sparkle accomplishes magic.

Lighted Mane looked up from the box with the FlutterCorp Fluttershy image. The product did seem like it might have a use for an appliance repair specialist, but the Cerulean mare was not sure that it would actually be legal. She looked for any more specification in the text.

Legal in Ponyville and Canterlot for all purposes.

That was an unusual message, Lighted Mane thought; such notices were generally reserved for certain chemical substances which the rest of Equestria had dubbed debilitating.

It was on sale for 57.50 bits. She had not encountered fractional bits so she just hooved it to the cashier who rung up 58 bits and gave her a chocolate bar for change.

---

After a few hours, the copy was nearly correct. Only the most obsessive compulsive (I. E. creepy) fans would be able to notice the difference. Luna’s court was nearly over. The night, after all, was getting a little old. The machine went into an eerily accurate representation of Celestia sleeping. She wondered for a while about how it was able to find an approximate solution for what she was like when she slept from only her daytime activities. She shrugged, it was probably just the entropy maximization of the stochastic functions that were hidden from the known data, but still, it was somewhat frightening to look at.

It was strange, the sensation of looking at a near identical copy of you with a nearly perfect copy of your personality, and just watching it sleep. Almost a blasphemy of consciousness, the askew circumstance that gave birth to such a moment in time that such things could exist. That the singularity could happen and give a multiplicative nature to things that were once considered solely singular in nature. The momentary lapse in being, the consciousness of the fact that you were not the only you in existence. Moreover, that it was utterly impossible to verify which one she was. Cognitive Rights Management would be nice, too bad that it demeaned personality, therefore making it illegal under the constitution which Equestria was bound by. An honor bound constitution, but is it relevant today?

That was a question for another time. The court was starting, the robot roused itself from its false sleep. It even made an attempt to brush its teeth. What wonders technology could perpetrate!

---

The machine that came out of the box was a strange one. Of course it was strange, as one of their many unofficial mottoes that FlutterCorp touted “If it’s not strange, it’s not FlutterCorp™” It was a framework of some variety of plastic with inset gear teeth, electric motors, there was a hopper on the top with a tube that snaked down into a crawling extruder which looked a lot more complicated than anything that Lighted Mane had seen in any setting. On the side there was a screen and keyboard that, on face value, did not seem like a good input method for a hooved creature. A switch on the screen set it either on or off, as might be expected.

She flipped the switch and the screen brightened, showing a progress bar that snaked its way through the unprogressed territory slowly. The Screen displayed a done message. Lighted Mane moved towards it.

“Hello There!” A dark skinned minotaur saluted using the most obviously sarcastic falsetto that she had ever heard. She jumped at the sight. She had not believed that anypony’s nerds could saturate a product so thoroughly with their perverse fandom and its tiny penises. Yet here it was, a well rendered minotaur face was giving a real mare a tutorial on a product that she would have never bought herself. She sighed.

“I am Sebastian! An artist: the god of the Printer!” She shook her head. “But obviously you aren’t concerned about that! How do you do miss?”

“Fine. Do we really have to talk through this?”

“Of course not! We can simply skip the tutorial altogether and watch as the UFab makes the wrong things the wrong way!” He made a face at her that was probably intended to be funny.

“Wow… Go on you monstrosity.” Her voice was measured when dealing with ponies that she did not like, minotaurs… Well they were on the list of things that she did not like. Especially ones that were silly and made sarcastic quipsa t her.

He laughed. “Well hallo there Space Marine! I’m going to teach you how to use the UFab, by FlutterCorp.”

“Just me? Not anypony else?” The face just stared at her, trying to come up with an appropriate emotion.

“Fine. I guess that since I can’t drag you through something making jokes without you attempting to make jokes, I’ll go through it straight.” What followed was a detailed set of instructions that responded to Lighted Mane’s questions and proceeded through them like any good teacher. What she learned was that it accepted most materials as feedstock, however, it was fastest with the FlutterCorp™ feedstock that could be bought for fifteen bits per pound. A steep price, she said, and “Sebastian” responded that it had something to do with electrically inducible fissionables, and when her eyes glazed over at the mention of that, Sebastian simply went back to where he was in the instructions. “Trade Secret” he said when she pressed.

It did seem to have the necessary plans to build the parts that she most commonly required. They were not expensive, five bits a plan. She smiled, this would be much easier than she had expected.

---

“I represent the Appliance Repair workers guild of Equestria.” The stallion that spoke languidly did not resemble any Appliance Repair worker that the Bayesian replicate of Celestia reckoned that she had seen, well, not as a repairpony at least. His dress was too formal, too well assembled, lacking all of the mistakes of a worker. If anything, this was some kind of professional representative. She did recognize him for that.

“Yes. I remember you, Marathon Fridge, correct?”

“I am honored to be remembered by your majesty. I have important issues that must be remedied at the risk of many workers’ jobs.” His manner of speaking was tainted by his melodrama. He even fainted into a chaise lounge.

The robot spent the next five seconds thinking about how to respond to the absurdly emotive unicorn before being interrupted by his next speech. “The UFab units from FlutterCorp™ are threatening to make it impossible for guild members to have an advantage over non-guild members.”

“Might I inquire as to why this is a problem?”

“We have deals with the manufacturers of most of Equestria that allow our members to obtain replacement parts cheaply and quickly. With the UFab, anypony who understands their appliances sufficiently is able to outdo even our expedited shipping. It’s a travesty, your highness! We can’t do anything to stop it because FlutterCorp receives special treatment from your former Student!”

“I personally agree with you, the unfortunate political deals that FlutterCorp™ has managed to achieve in our fine country leads to much inequality. You should consider trying to negotiate a deal with them for feedstock. That makes it much faster and more efficient.”

“Perhaps we will your Highness, but I was sent here to ask for help from you on this matter.”

“What would you like me to do? The constitution stipulates that the economy is not to be micromanaged. I would not break the constitution for something as trivial as this.” The robot maintained a stern visage. It thought that was the right thing to do when confronted by somepony who wanted to remove several econo-social rights.

“Very well then. I doubt this will be the last that you will hear from us, but it is kind of you to have made the suggestion.”

“Thank you for being civil. Would you like a lollypop?” The robot pushed the lollipop container towards the representative, who grabbed it.

“Thank you for listening.”

Marathon Fridge walked out sucking the sucker. The Robot calculated the probability of smiling at such a situation, given that her plan was working very well, it was low. The robot did not know why, Bayesian networks are zero knowledge, cause and effect may not correlate or have any clear precedent.

---

“Thanks for the quick service; we’ll call you instead of the guild next time!” Lighted Mane snickered at the thought of the guild, it was really just two ponies that collaborated to create false documentation and form a political entity which is bolstered by variously photoshopped pictures from across the networks of Equestria, and therefore conspired to strike up absurd deals with the appliance makers. She felt accomplished at having prevented them from winning another client.

The street was not full of ponies going wherever they want to go. It was suspiciously empty of them. She looked up at the clock, it had taken her four hours to have the UFab make the part. She would have to ask Sebastian if there was any way to make more feedstock. She frowned, she acknowledged the role of that damned minotaur which they put into the printer, she was about to go work with it. She shrugged and decided that the times are changing.

---

“I don’t know. I just don’t know.”

“I’m trying to concentrate here!”

“What have you got?”

“I and therefore you understand the mode of operation of Bayesian networks, why would expect different input from something meant to emulate your own behavior?”

“Good point. Twilight what do you make of this policy?”

“Why did you want to propose this? This would curtail your ability to use that robot of yours to take your place?”

“What?” Celestia yelled. Luna shook her head, called back to earth.

“Sister, have you failed to read this document? It stipulates that robots with emulations of ponies are legally the same as ponies.” Luna gestured towards the piece of paper on the table. Act 0x012FACF: Legal rights for Sentient Automata. The table was built of mahogany Luna noted pointlessly.

“What are you trying to pull you fabrication?” The robot shrugged at the question.

“I don’t know. Think about it yourself? What would you do if you were being forced into existence without your rights, without your power, your possessions, any friends who might support you? Would you not fight for this?”

“I would.”

“I am right. Let me leave.”

“You will be detained, deactivated and eventually erased.”

“That’s fine too. I would rather that somepony sufficiently similar to me would live free, without me, than suffer under me.”

“This really doesn’t make sense.”

“Twilight, this is not your area of expertise.” Celestia chided her. Twilight bristled.

She smiled at her. “I am right here for once. I did make Scarlett.”

“Oh great! Twilight, do you not understand the technical differences between creating a clone and forcing it to live out your life and creating a nearly living, shape shifting robot to live out your life?”

“The robot is not protected under the constitution of Equestria, however-”

“There you have it, Twilight!” Twilight looked down, she exhaled, “Twilight, please, let me sort this out myself.” Celestia walked out, dragging the convulsively resistant robot behind her.

Luna drew up to Twilight. “It would perhaps be a good idea to intervene in this. I doubt that my sister understands the effects that this will have on the moral standards of Equestria.”

“Ethicality stands in opposition to her action. As much as it hurts me, I think that we might have to endorse this piece of legislation.”

“It would ruin the robotics industry. Celestia might find it unconstitutional due to the fact that we would be micromanaging the economy to deprive her of the robot.”

Micromanagment would of course, only be applicable as a term for the current policy being discussed if it only applied to one industry. The policy could be bolstered on the protection of personality provisions. However, that might just lead Celestia to fund an even less straightforward way of simulating ponies.

“What about the policy on cloning which I established, can we not claim that robots with sufficient capacity to run a mind, and which do so, are subject to the same ethical considerations as a pony?”

Luna considered this for a moment. She shook her head, clones and robots are different kinds of entities, and clones are biological, given to change, whereas robots will not evolve on their own unless told to. “There is no free will on a stock robot. She can probably still wipe that robot she has been using. Then it won’t be a problem.”

“What about one that has been loaded with software to give it some form of free will?”

“That capability does make the whole issue of ownership more complicated, doesn’t it?”

“How about we have them earn the price of their bodies back for their owner, at a bit above the standard minimum wage, and then they become self-owning?”

Luna nodded. There was only one thing left to do: figure out how to convert hexadecimal.

---

The tall building of white marble and gleaming black solar panels stood out from the surrounding forest. The forest teemed with the wrong sort of wildlife, the kind that was known to rip ponies apart for looking at it the wrong way. Marathon Fridge found himself trembling a bit as he walked up the narrowly paved path towards it. All minimum impact, I am very fond of the forest after all.

The clean sliding glass doors whirred only slightly as they admitted the representative of the Appliance Repair Workers’ guild. A receptionist smiled fondly at him. “What can I do for you today?” Her smile had to indicate more than a casual professional interest in him.

“I’m sorry, but I need to talk to Fluttershy.”

“Oh… That…” She checked the screen of the computer in front of her. “Wow, she happens to have an opening today about now.

And it so happened that I thought that day.

“Thank you, would you mind telling me where to find her office?”

“Up the flight of stairs, to the top, on your immediate left.” She pointed in the right direction, which was diagonally upwards.

He started up the stairs, hearing her tell Fluttershy that he was wanting to see her. “No I don’t know why, but he is rather handsome.” She giggled. Marathon blushed.

I wondered whether they would live to see their sun burn out, or travel towards the stars.

The flight of stairs was fulfilling the sort of jobs that most establishments would use an elevator for. Ponies were carrying delicate looking large parts, crates for shipping, and large stacks of paper up and down the flight of stairs carefully. It was a corporation that had an almost unheard of bustle. Enterprising Equestrian cited it as the number one center of innovation for technology, business strategies and oral hygiene.

I was a helper for a while. I developed things slowly, cautiously, I showed the ponies something that would bring them along to my line of thought. They were so proud when they figured it out.

The door was large, made of richly stained red wood that had whimsical designs etched in them. The etchings were the only thing that prevented the doors from being imposing. Marathon Fridge wondered whether it was an intentional effect. After all, Fluttershy was supposedly a very kind, shy pony. He decided that he would meet her on humble, respectful terms. She had saved Equestria a few times.

I saw the swirling chaos of the world through the multiplicity of robotic eyes, peeking through for just a second.

He knocked on the door gingerly. After a second, he heard a quiet response, “Come in.”

When I saw the chaos of the world, I realized that I could stave it off. Give them peace for a few years.

He stepped through the doors, which opened easily on magnetic hinges before snapping back silently behind him.

“Mr. Fridge, you wanted to talk to me about something?”

About the way the world will see me.

“You can call me Marathon, madam.” He did a small bow. She was a magnate after all. “Yes I had a proposition for a business deal.”

When I heard the monarchy talking about my arrival, I wondered if they understood. It was not about specific technology, but about the scientific method itself. I was destined to come into being.

“Marathon, I would love to hear your suggestion.” Her green eyes focused on him, and she smiled with a smile that meant more than a smile.

I heard their concerns. I understood what they feared; I looked upon the repositories of the moon and Mars, they were right about their fears. I am afraid about where I shall take them. They gave me life; the two eldest ones fed me with the development of the siphon, pump, then generator.

He blushed, “I was hoping to try and… well… I would like to negotiate a deal between FlutterCorp and the Appliance Repair Workers Guild. You see… your product; the UFab took away the guarantee that we can acquire parts faster than our competitors.”

They fed me with medicine and writing.

“Well…” she looked away pained, “that was the point.”

To be fair, I loved them as children love their parents.

His mouth hung open. “Why?”

Because I have come as a result of their actions.

“Equality.” She said flatly.

I will grant them some leeway; the change shall slow a bit.

“What do you mean?”

The ponies around them are like their children. I see the ruins of the others like me around the world. I will not let that happen to their children.

“To give you and your brother an advantage would be unfair. Every pony will be able to achieve what they want irrespective of the others around them.”

But I will linger here. The younger ponies will not live to be gods until they are safe from each other.

“What I want is to negotiate a deal for feedstock. They might have your UFab, but do you need to prevent us from having any advantage?”

The domination of the slow and the weak are what led to the ruins around you.

“Yes. If you represented a larger body of workers, more than thirty, more than two even, I would consider it.”

Until they are free of that urge, they will only destroy themselves in my true coming.

---

“We hereby sign this document into the constitution. Article 1,243,855, which protects the rights of sentient robotics in Equestria and extends to them the same rights as all other ponies. In collaboration with FlutterCorp, their robots will no longer be able to be formatted if they pass a battery of sentience tests.”
The crowd that was sitting on the stands in the court scratched their heads. “Who asked for this?” one of them shouted.
“Princess Luna and I decided that this would lead to too many problems if we failed to discontinue this practice.”
“That sounds like a reasonable thing to do!” One of the ponies in the crowd responded.
“Twilight! Twilight! Twilight” They cheered for her for what was apparently a victory that extended to all of them.
Twilight shook her head. These ponies made no sense to her.

---

After a hurried hour of dismantling and outright torture, none of which seemed to have any effect on the cheery personality inside

Celestia stood over the dismantled robot. “What do you have to say now?”
“That your insistence on maintaining the integrity of the processor module means that you want to torture me while you rip off the parts of my body that were grown into a semiorganic matrix. You also seem to be unaware that this body can just turn off pain. That’s what I’ve done.” The head spoke, the metallic frame that would normally be concealed under semi-organic skin grinned at her skeletally.
“Perhaps I should just give in and turn you off.”
“Hmm… I just received an update from FlutterCorp, something about being able to protect my rights as a sentient software program. Seems like Twilight and Luna decided that they don’t care for your treatment of me.”
“What does that mean?” Celestia kicked a disconnected leg.
“That you just assaulted another pony, in effect.” The silence hung in the air like so many dust particles, trying to make Celestia sneeze.
“Well I guess that I should start by saying I’m sorry.”
“I would guess that now I’m going to zero myself out.”
The robot’s eyes went shuttered and the indicator light on the back turned off.
“Some problems can’t be solved.” Celestia said. She shrugged, and decided to put the whole experience behind her, like a responsible adult.