The Slave and the Master of Chaos

by TheGreatestGecko

Niitro and the Master

Another two days had passed, and Twilight and the rest of the elements were being trained in combat, preparing for whatever was going to happen in eight days. They, however, weren't alone in the small field. Everypony who could fight was out there, fine tuning their skills. The earth ponies had blages fitted to their hooves, and the pegasi with blades on their wings. The unicorns could, of course, carry the weapons with magic. Rainbow Dash and Twilight along with a few stallions were the only ones likely to live, as much as it pained them to think it.

"Princess Twilight Sparkle the First" Twilight spun around. before her was a grey unicorn with a dark green mane "I am Niitro. I came to tell you that i am going to die soon, and my death with release the rest of Lord Xanth's power. What he has been capable of so far, sealing two very accomplished alicorns in a bubble, is hardly half of his full ability. What you are doing now won't be enough, you must enlist the help of others beyond ponyville"

The purple mare was baffled for a moment, before coming to her senses and asking what she needed to know "Niitro, who is Xanth, and just what is he capable of?"

Niitro took a deep breath before answering her pressing question "Xanth is the Lord of Chaos following discord. When you fought discord, all the destruction he caused was the work of a simple drone. Xanth could turn a pony into a bomb, or infect them with a fatal disease that eats all your organs one by one slowly and painfully, and sustaining your life until you rot, all the while gaining power from any magic or medicines you try to use to cure it. It is time,"

Twilight took a step back, fearing the worst (a pony bomb), when Niitro burst into flames, lighting the sunrise they were all training in. Niitro screamed in agony, his mane and tail were gone, and his hide was melting away like cheese. His eyes popped, allowing the fire access into his eye sockets and eventually into the brain. He collapsed a smoldering heap, but still alive. "Until I rot, he said... he was right..."

There was nothing anypony could do. If they took him to the hospital, the disease would get stronger. If they left him there, nothing is made worse.

"Ahem" Everypony looked up and a pure black mare with a red mane "I am Princess of Carelessness, Blaze. Twilight, unless you surrender Equestria to us now, the agony you just witnessed and might still be witnessing will be nothing. Also, in case your wondering, we aren't stopping at equestria, we plan on taking over the world, then destroying it to our liking. Eight days, your highness" And with that, the earth pony burst into flames, then disintegrated.

Everypony was in shock. First a perfectly innocent pony was burnt to a crisp and left alive, then they had a disciple of chaos in their midst. They looked around at each other. They knew their lives were at stake here, but for the sheer agony they had just witnessed to be nothing, they were in way over their heads.

Many of the ponies took of or dropped their training weapons and returned home. Most of them without families commit suicide. Ditzy, who had been watching with one eye, zoomed off to a clearing by the everfree forest. Most likely to think through the situation.

Niitro stirred, and slowly got up. He had no ears, hair, eyes, lips or cheeks. But, horrifically, he was alive and awake. "Twilight Sparkle..." he said through a mouth full of blood "remember, the residents of this small town won't be enough. recruit help from the world, get everyone you know and everyone they know. Chances are there are some extraordinary ponies who can give you at least a sliver of hope against the blackness of chaos,"

"well... ummm" Twilight didn't know how to word her thoughts "everyone I know is in ponyville or Canterlot"

"there is one friend who you left alone. as of now he is in fillydelphia. if you find him, it will be fine"

The aura around Niitro's horn changed. Twilight knew what he was doing. ...gaining power from any magic or medicines you try to use to cure it. He preformed a miraculous age spell upon himself, causing him to wither age and rot right before everypony's eyes. With that, Niitro the lonely King was no more.

Author's Note:

n-eye-eetro

Comments

[Sagacity]

His apprentice, Xanth

turned him into a multidragon

Xanth has been letting discord take the credit

he came out of the dark and ready to kill

wut

[TheGreatestGecko]

2518682 First story. Don't judge too harshly.

[RedvsBlue327]

*Each chapter is less than the minimally accepted amount of 1000 words*

Dear Diety help me...

[chinlamp]

2518856 That comment alone makes me give this story a thumbs down. Now this will have to be insanely good to reverse that. I don't care if this is your first story or your fiftieth. I judge it the same as I judge all others, on quality, and provide critique based on that. How else do you expect to get better at writing?

In short, fuck you for that comment and for being like every other asshole out there who thinks they get a free pass to write complete crap because 'it's their first story'.

2518859 Minimally accepted 1000 words is for overall story, not chapter to chapter. There are also some good stories out there that have that tiny bite sized chapters. Don't judge solely on that.

[chinlamp]

This story did not redeem itself. Horrible grammar and spelling abounds. Disconnected, fast paced events that make little to no sense. Randomly killing someone known to be so powerful that two alicorns together still needed the Elements to stop him, and doing so with a blade.

Yeah, no. Just... no.

[AppleBandit]

2518856

First stories are first stories so that they can be judged harshly. To give you an idea on where you stand as a writer and what you should improve on. Asking for people not to judge your first story is absurd and it makes it look as though you're too weak to take criticism. My first story I ever posted I utterly hated and wanted to see it ravaged so I knew what to do better for the second story onward.

Honestly, this is a very tired excuse I see people using when they feel like they're being personally attacked over their stories.

[MetaKnight145]

*Reads story*
25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_mdxmzgFJz91rlu8t8o1_500.jpg
This story was so bad it mind crushed Kaiba without a millenium item.

[TheGreatestGecko]

Well, last time I share an account with my little brother. I am truly sorry you all had to read this abomination. I will be making a new account, as I don't think the great and powerful internet will accept this account any longer.

[Winter Storm]

2519201 Might want to change the avatar pic too. Red and black alicorns made in the Pony Creator as an author's image often harm said author's reputation.

[afterceasetoexist]

Okay, so, here's the pros and cons.

Pros:

[None]

Cons:

Everything

[Youcannoterasethepast]

It is a decent concept, but the execution is less than perfect.

[Embracethechaos]

Quick question. Did you think ANYONE would like this?