• Member Since 29th Sep, 2013
  • offline last seen Jun 7th, 2015

SonicBoombrony


I love My little pony and I write fanfics but now decided to write them for the public instead of a small group of people

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This is a crossover with the portal series, Doctor Whooves and other scientists at Equestria Laboratories are about to activate their newest and best A.I system yet, however something isnt right. And its up to Twilight and her friends to save it. However it won't be that simple

However a special thanks the ChristianCartoons for the idea of this Fanfic.
I hope you enjoy reading it, and feel free to ask questions if unsure with something in the story.
Thanks to Jacknife557 for editing.

Chapters (5)
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Comments ( 7 )

Great work I love it! Can't wait for the next chapter!

3563134 Thanks glad you liked it :twilightsmile:

Honestly? It looks kinda like a rough draft. Please, add some spacing and change up your language a bit, you use the same words over and over again example:

“IT WORKS, YES, AFTER ALL THIS WORK HAHAHA,

would work better as "It works! Yes! All these years it has finally payed off!"
and for the love of god add some periods (or exclamation and question marks) after you sentences!

Other than that it's okay, it's your first story so messing up isn't THAT bad.

3603023 Thanks for the advice. And i am aware periods and stuff need to be used more. I also wrote during Exam period so you can bet chapter 4 will have way better grammar now that its over

next chapter should be edited soon sorry for the wait had to study for exams

I look forward to your next few chapter this is a great story:twilightsmile:

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