First, I want to say congratulations to everyone who competed in this contest. You all put out some very odd, and very different stories. We had sads, we had funny, we had violence, we had romance. You guys took this prompt and you ran with it, and that’s awesome! So, I know you’re skipping this part to scroll to the winners, and that’s fine, but you’ll be back so I’ll say it here anyway. I chose these winners based on three criteria:
1. Style and flow
2. Spelling and grammar
3. Creativity and magnitude of Spike’s suffering

Each of these three categories got a score out of ten, and then the story with the highest cumulative score won. Here’s what I did not base my scores on: story upvotes, comments, who wrote it (I didn’t even look at who wrote what as I was reading and scoring), popularity, and whether it got featured. I tried to be objective as I could with my scoring, and I can say that some stories ranked very highly for their spelling and grammar, while they lacked in style or creative suffering. Some were very creative in the type of suffering, but they had errors that killed their score, or lacked any flow. In the end, the stories that tried to do well in all three of these categories, and managed it, won. Some of my favorites weren’t even in the top five, just so you know, heh. But I like the gross stuff, so that makes sense. We did have some ties, and these ties were broken by judgement of all the other Barcasters, as far as which they liked best. If you didn’t win, no worries at all. Every story in this contest had something good about it, so take heart that I enjoyed reading your work.

Without further ado, these are the winners:

I will contact our top 3 winners about their prizes shortly (in the next few days). In the meantime, I really think all our competitors deserve a little recognition, so here are links to ALL of the stories. If you want some interesting stuff (one of these actually cast me as a gross hambeast antagonist and I love it) consider reading and rating these stories. They’re bound to amuse you.

All in all, thank you immensely to all of our participants. This wouldn’t happen without you! We will be doing more contests soon, probably put on by other Barcasters, so stay tuned.
Cheers!

-Pencil

READ THIS SHIT:

Goodknight Spike
"...And I Will Name Him George!"
Married With Problems
Another Spike Episode
Here's To Us
Lazy Mornings
The Tales of Mr. Dream
Helping Out A Friend
Spike's Loss
Anon's a jerk!
Forged Into Hell
The Worst Possible Thing 
Captain Falcon Falcon Punches Spike
Leaving the Mic On
Spike's Very Incredibly Shitty Day
Lovestruck is a dangerous weapon
You're a Legend Spike
Heroes Get Remembered, Legends Never Die

6015010
*faints*

reading is hard

6015010
Congratulations to the winners! <3

Man, i know a story from 9 months ago that wouldve won this in a heartbeat. It was just evil, no warning, no foreshadowing, everything seems to be going well (if slightly disturbing) that BAM! Gutshot.

But oh well, these stories did have some very good contendors, wonderous job to all who submitted.

6015023
Yeah? What was it?
I am in need of a new read. :P

6015023
Link?

Congratulations to the winners this contest was a blast.... literally my heart still hurts after seeing how my dear Spike suffered. But now that is over and I'm sure that my feedbox isn't going to be filled with tragic Spike's fics anymore.

also, Thanks for the recognition, everyone who played in this sick game needs to be remembered.

6015010
Congratulations to the winners. :)

Congrats writers!

Now I would've entered, but halfway through the contest I realized I don't have enough experience to write someone suffering.

*claps in French*

Bravo! I loved the variety of stories this contest spawned. They were all enjoyable in their own way.

6015091
6015102
My bad, its from 14 months ago.
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/331165/spiked
NSFW warning.

It was an honor just to be nominated. Congratulations to the winners. Mine was a story I wanted to write anyway. The contest just gave it a concrete deadline. I don't need the prize money anyway. But I would not have minded getting a sketch from 6015010. Next contest, perhaps.

I didn't even place, but I can't properly express how important this contest was for me. I took a story from raw idea to completed story within a set deadline. After the huge writing slump I've been in this was a tremendous lift. I'm writing again!!! Thanks.

I will say, if I enter another contest here, I promise not to disgrace it by submitting my ratty, self proofed copy again. Um... everyone who knows me will tell you that I probably won't keep that promise.

6015010 How about for the next contest theme, Shitfaced Shitfics fuel: The Eye of Argon!

6015010
Cop out the competition.

So, you wanted to make a competition so that three, that's right, number (((3))) was going to be at your top list, while the rest of the stories were going to be shoveled into the trash like no one gave a shit.

Well good job, at least I know not to ever participate next time.

I mean, it sure validates people best by linking their story to the front of the page, that sure is special. I mean, not even a word about the stories shortcomings and failings, because your so lazy you couldn't even make a part for those stories and why they didn't work strong enough. Hell, I wouldn't even expect a positive on your part on those forlorn stories, because it's just too much work.

Competitions sure are worthwhile aren't they?

6031211

I'm happy to discuss anyone's story with them personally (and I have with those who have asked), but I would prefer not to publicly display my criticisms for each story without the consent of each writer. If you'd like me to speak to you personally over pm or discord, just let me know.

6031224
Can you do it here?

6031225
You'll have to give me time to write it up, as I am currently still in podcast.

6031228
sounds good to me.

So, I remember reading this story, and instantly taking note of the formatting. A great deal of care was taken in the way you put the dialogue together for Captain Falcon, and as far as comedy goes, that's useful, because it made me hear the voice whenever I read it. The suffering here was also pretty good, and this got one of the higher scores for the magnitude and creativity of Spike's suffering in general. Yes, it was in fact a crossover, but still nonstop suffering from beginning to end, no breaks on the Spike pain train.
And, actually, this is where the story's biggest flaw comes from as well. It's so constant, with little to no buildup, that it actually becomes tedious rather than directly funny. Falcon's quips are enough to keep me giggling, but because there's no build up to when it begins and how it progresses, it's kind of like seeing a nutshot over and over again in a compilation video. Eventually, you get desensitized. So this story suffered from a lack of pacing and plot progression, even if it was still supposed to be a silly little oneshot, and it resulted in the suffering not being quite as humorous as it could be. The sentences themselves and their structure also do nothing to help the flow of the piece altogether. There's lots of "Then"s and "Suddenly"s when moving from one act to the next, which is fine once in a while, but as a transition from one piece of action to the next, it gets a little tiresome. This could be improved by changing up the way this is discussed. You do a good job of looking at different senses, including Spike smelling methane when the butt cheeks are wreaking their sweet vengeance on his face, but we could honestly use more of that in this story.
Lastly, the only other thing that held this story back is there are quite a few errors, specifically those in which sentences are joined together inappropriately by a comma, where they should be separate sentences altogether. Really, restructuring a lot of the sentences here could improve the story quite a bit, lengthening some sentences, shortening others, and changing up your word choice for transitions between acts of torture and bludgeoning.
Lastly, I liked your author's note. I know that might be silly, but I really did for whatever reason.

In the end, aside from any writing critiques, I enjoyed the story. It had its laughs here and there, and the idea was one I didn't expect to see from this competition. I was amused. You definitely have room to improve, but there's a lot of potential there you can grow from.

P.S. I enjoyed I'm Going to Fuck Your Horse. Just as an aside.

6031247
WOOOH ACTUAL FEEDBACK, IT'S SO RARE I CAN'T EVEN FIND IT IN THE CORNERS OF FIMFICTION.

Thank the gods, you deserve a blessing.