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Loganberry
Group Admin

Sorry for the delay, folks! Health issues have intervened, but fortunately I am now able to post this month's FF150. Since I am a day late in posting this, I will add a day to the deadline. So for this month, the closing date will be the 22nd. I will keep the other dates the same, so we should be back to normal by the time I get to announcing the winner. If you've already written your fic, that is fine: for clarity, anything written since the prompt was announced is fine. Well, not anything. Anything within the terms of the rules.

Here are the full rules.
Please use this word counter.

You'll note that Rule 6 accommodates G5 entries. Since this means that an active generation is permitted, please bear in mind Rule 9 on spoilers. As always, comments are welcome in the relevant thread.

Remember, there is no prize, as such, for this contest -- but if you win, you will be able to choose the prompt for the next contest. You'll also get a mention on the group's front page. If that's a day late as well, then it will still be better than I've sometimes managed, so I wouldn't worry. Well, not too much. Worrying is something intrinsic to many writers, as I know from personal experience... :twilightblush:

Prompt: "And Nothing Was The Same." (selected by FanOfMostEverything)
Rating: E or T
Word limit: 150
Closing date: Saturday 22nd April 2023, 11:59 pm UK time (world clock)

Please reply to this post with your entry. This makes it easier for me to keep track. Please do not leave feedback until after the closing date.

Entries are now open! Have fun! :twilightsmile:

7820333
One of my views on life is that you can get away with addressing any mature topic in children's media, just as long as it's presented in a vague way where they don't understand the actual message. Fairy tales and innuendos are prime examples of what I'm getting at, but I find this principle most potent within writing. So much, in fact, that it could even wiggle pass rules by simply not addressing the specific details, giving the reader the freedom on how to interpret the story.

The point I'm trying to address here is that once you finish this story, you might never read it the same way again. If it comes to that, remember... that's your interpretation, not the story's explanation.


? ? ?

The Autumn leaves swept under the galloping stallion, drifting to the full moon before a shadow swooped through. Weaving trees, jumping logs, the leather beats just kept getting closer.

The shadow slammed him to the ground and flipped him on his back. Pinned to the dirt, he's forced to stare into the crimson glowing eyes of a mare.

Seductively, she smiled at him, "It's such a lovely night, so stay with me," licking her fangs, "let's make it memorable."

She dragged the thumb of her wing along his cheek, sending chills as she gently grazed down along his neck, twirling on a spot that's pulsing with blood.

"I'll drain you, down to the last drop."

He stretched out his neck in a hopeless attempt to avoid her drifting lips.

"And then soon, very... very... soon..." the heat of her breath brushed into his ear, softly whispering, "...you'll be a father."

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Subversion

Twilight Sparkle stared at the shattered Elements of Harmony, her eyes wide with disbelief. Has Discord really won? Rainbow Dash was flying upside down, Pinkie Pie was crying over a pile of rocks, Rarity was wearing a garbage bag as a dress, Applejack was yelling that the world is round, and Fluttershy was grilling hamburgers. They were not the ponies she knew and loved. They were not her friends anymore.

She had failed her Element of Magic, her mentor, friends and the whole of Equestria. A tear slid down her cheek as she realized that nothing would ever be the same again.

She heard a loud laugh behind her and turned to see Discord floating in the air, holding a popcorn bucket and a soda. He grinned wickedly and said, "Friendship is magic? More like friendship is tragic! Ha ha ha!"

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Anniversary

There was always a chill in the air this time of year.

So it was that Twilight Sparkle felt a cold shiver creep along her spine as a particularly blustery wind caught on her flowing mane: ruffling the leaves of the auburn trees in the grove around her.

The deliciously sweet scent of ripe apple blossoms carried along with it, bringing fresh memories of joyful days long past.

Her wings pitched uncertainly as she braced herself against the buffeting breeze, unsure of whether to take to the air herself. But then, as all things did, it slowed and ended.

She was left once more to look up from the leaf-dappled ground, and to the solitary grey spire she sat in front of. Once more, the sweet scent of apple blossoms crept along the air, and for the fifth time that day, Twilight sighed.

She missed them.

I wrote a sad, because I like the sad. :eeyup:

7820333
It's about time I wrote for one of these! I've been listening to quite a bit of Vylet Pony lately, particularly nonexistent meet-cute, so here's a flashfic inspired by that song!


Nonexistent Love Story

"I know this is probably pretty unexpected, Rarity, but I... I really like you."

Rarity smiled, laughed lightly. A delicate hiss from her shell-pink nostrils. "Not at all, Spikey," she said. "You aren't nearly as sneaky as you think."

Spike's face fell. "Oh."

"Oh, darling. I only mean you're a bit of a love-bug, that's all," Rarity cooed. "You wear your heart on your sleeve. It's a lovely trait, all said."

Spike's cheeks flushed. "Right..."

"I think it's very brave of you to finally speak your mind," Rarity said. She smiled approvingly and gave Spike a pat on the head. "I'm sure that's quite the weight off your little chest, now, isn't it?"

Spike reached up to grasp at Rarity's hoof with his tiny claws. "So... is that a yes?"

Rarity's breath hitched. "A yes...?" Her eyes changed. "Um. No. I don't... no, darling."

And the 'darling' was different now.

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Devilish Deals

Thirty years.

Thirty years of silence, darkness, and above all else *hunger*.

Weaker creatures would have broken by now, but not he. No, Lord Tirek was above them. Only the strong survived, a maxim coined by nature itself. His people were living proof. Of course, they'd been blinded by past victories, ignorant of every possibility in this world. Power existed not just in the strength of one's arm, but in their *mind*. His caused him exile. Now though? Now it envisaged all the grand possibilities unravelling in a soon-to-be future.

"Will you do it?"

He hemmed and hawed, fingers steepling as if in deep thought. The answer had been decided upon her arrival, but it was all part of the game. Control was just another extension of one's strength after all.

"Complete absolution in return for dealing with this... Nightmare Moon?" he grinned, emaciated teeth on display. "Why, certainly, Princess."

Comment posted by Vivid Syntax deleted Apr 6th, 2023

7820333
First time entering this contest (and now with the correct reply protocol :twilightsheepish:). These are fun! Thanks for running the contest!

The New Prince

Hitch went slack in his chair and stared at the ceiling. His clock loudly ticked. "...Huh."

Zipp bit her lip. "...Yeah."

Tick. Tick. Tick.

"...Wow."

"You okay?"

"Uh, yeah!" Hitch leapt up. "This is great! Really great! Just… gosh!" He walked over and kissed Zipp. "I mean, I don't feel remotely ready, and who knows how Sparky will take it." He groaned. "And our friends will definitely figure out we're dating."

Zipp snickered. "They know."

Hitch hugged her. "How are you feeling?"

Zipp shuffled in place. "Good. Weird. Body's all messed up. But excited! And… scared."

"We'll be okay, Zipp." He gently felt her stomach. "Wow… Think they'll be an earth pony?"

"Either way, they'll be Zephyr Heights royalty. And… you'll be a prince."

Hitch's eyes widened. "But we're not married."

Zipp shrugged, glanced away, then smiled. "Well…?"

Hitch felt his whole chest expand, and he smiled back. "Yes. Absolutely."

7820333

When Rarity entered her showroom with Hoity-Toity — an influential new client — she nearly screamed.

Earlier, she’d asked Sweetie Belle to decorate the parlor with her collection of green Spring dresses. And Sweetie did just that — but also included the silver Winter dresses, gold Fall dresses, and even the blue Summer dresses.

Nothing matched. It was the exact opposite of the expert fashion philosophy she’d promised.

“Sweetie,” Rarity hissed, “why are my old designs here?”

Sweetie beamed. “I love all your dresses, every season. I’m showing off how you’re the most creative pony around — no two outfits are the same!”

Migraine pounding, Rarity turned to apologize to Hoity-Toity, but froze.

“Blue? In April?” he asked, grinning. “What daring stylistic choices! I’ll buy everything.”

A different kind of scream rose in Rarity’s throat. But instead she pulled her brilliant little sister close. “I’m glad you understand my vision.”

Spring
Sunset had seen Starswirl and the pillars in the autumn leaves.
Summer
Celestia's hot afternoon bliss,
Sees the cookie start to crumble
Fall
And it's Twilight's Equus
Whose purples skies see the sun burst
Orange, red tinder mottling.
Winter
Among the avalanche-frost
Midnight,
Paradise lost
To rest eternally among the stars.

even the stars
Are candles on the dying tree

7820333

"Excuse me," said Twilight to the many Twilights. "How do we get everypony back to where they belong?"

"We know where each portal leads," a haggard voice replied.

"But how do we make sure everypony goes back to the right place? Some ponies are from more desirable timelines, dimensions, universes...."

"No pony's exactly the same. For example, I have this scar and places where my coat has grown back from where Cozy Glow beats me--with her spurs. And crop." CozyTwilight, of the haggard voice, shuddered.

They reviewed the Twilights' differences: ages, hairstyles, colorations. In a few cases: height and sex, and sent them back. Even towering friendship-paste-spewing alicorn Friendmaker. Especially FriendmakerTwilight.

Then, after a wash-up, there were two.

"Good job." They clopped hooves.

"All finished!" CozyTwilight pushed PrimeTwilight through CozyTwilight's portal.

"Well," she carefully patted her aching side. "Nothing's going to be the same anymore... for either of us."

7820333

Focus Issues

“—and oh my hoofness, I thought the first flavor I tried was the best food I’d ever tasted, but the double fudge chocolate kind was even better! Seriously, why don’t we ever get this stuff? Forget anything else, you should send me into Maretime Bay just for this. I’ll even use my own money! Not that I have much besides the allowance, but still! Anyway, the ponycorn. I think I’ve tried six flavors now, but what makes this kind really stand out is—"

“Misty!

“…Yes, Opaline?”

“Ever since you found this ridiculous ponycorn, you can’t focus anymore. I asked you to report on your effort to secure dragonfire, not your latest snack venture!”

“Ohhhhh, what do you think ponycorn made with dragonfire would be like? Eh, it’d probably come to life or something, not what I want. Anyway, the double fudge chocolate ponycorn—”

Loganberry
Group Admin

Three and a bit days to get your entry in, folks!

Loganberry
Group Admin

36 hours remaining!

7820333

I was going to write "CUTTING IT FINE" at the beginning of this comment, but then I saw there's a deadline extension. Which means I can write this flashfic in peace and without a rush now. That is also needed at the moment and especially needed for the kind of flashfic I am writing today:
.

Two sentences and nothing was the same. That's where the downfall began, the misfortune, the tragedy. The breaking of a friendship short in the making, but long in the fixing. Maybe too long.
The sentences had been spoken, two terrible sentences, and everything had begun to change. Slowly, but more followed after the sentences; accusations, judgement, blame. Disinterest. The wreckage of a friendship that crashed into a wall because the brakes didn't work.
Perhaps it was time to get into a new car. Or cars. "Two cars might be needed now," – Archer Bodkin thought to herself – "two cars to continue the journey alone."
Or perhaps there was one more chance for repair and to continue the journey in the same car, together. Archer sat at her computer and thoughtfully typed on the keyboard. She felt weary of driving. But there was one last chance.

.
And it turns out, if there hadn't been a deadline extension, I would have missed it. I am very lucky, but it's not only the luck I need, it's also the luck I deserve, because the last two months weren't easy on me and that affected my timing for submitting my flashfic this month.

7820333

Newfound Destiny

Trixie sighed and let her head fall onto the bar in front of her. She couldn't help but feel exhausted with her life, especially as a pony who still hadn't discovered her special talent. She had tried everything, but nothing seemed to click.

The sudden eruption of cries from the crowd behind her caught her attention. Curious, she turned to see a stallion.

"Pick a card" he said, gesturing towards the deck of cards he held.

Trixie blinked in surprise, realising he was referring to her. She hesitantly picked one and watched as he placed it back in the deck and shuffled the cards.

"Choose a number." He laid card by card out on the bar.

"Um, seven.” 

The stallion paused at the seventh card, and with a dramatic flourish, he revealed it. Her jaw dropped in amazement as she saw that it was the very card she had selected.

Loganberry
Group Admin

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That's a wrap, everybody! As always, many thanks to everyone who entered this time. :twilightsmile:

For anyone who wishes to do this, feedback is now open!

Feedback time again and this month super early and as the first one, in the ideal moment, just when the deadline is over and the feedback phase starts. I'm getting more coordinated. :yay:



7820351

I was reading this three times after finishing it, but all I can see here is a vampire mare attacking a stallion on his way home at night and wanting to suck his blood until he is dead. The mention of him becoming a father soon comes out of nowhere at the end and I don't see any lewd implications here that serve as buildup, no matter how subtle. In fact, twirling her feather on his carotid artery really does not leave room for any interpretation other than a vampire mare and her prey.
Still, this is well written and very atmospheric. Brings me in the mood for reading a vampire story and I think you would be great at writing one.


7820352

This is a very straight forward use of the prompt. I can't say much to this, as it's really self-explanatory, and it's less creative than your usual writing, but it's written very, very effectively. Only two flashfics in and I already have the feeling that the niveau is higher this month. Or maybe I'm just getting more proficient at reading stories again..... but I am being greatly entertained, so far. Raw talent here.
Also, is "friendship is tragic" a reference to the story of the same title or is Discord just rhyming?


7820357

It's an anniversary, but anniversary of what? The death of Twilight's friends? Or perhaps of the day she met them? The story doesn't make that clear, but it tugs at the heartstrings and it's also written very effectively. So much that I could literally smell apple blossoms while reading it. Like I said, raw talent.


7820521

This is a very cruel rejection by Rarity. If she does not want anything from Spike, she could at least express that in a way that isn't harsh and makes Spike feel like he's an unattractive loser who couldn't score with her even if he were the last creature left on the planet.

I'm not a friend of the way of thinking that a relationship between Spike and Rarity would be "creepy" (especially because the one reason that is always raised, Spike's age, is not existent, as Spike is not a child anymore and especially no baby, which most who watch the show don't understand for some reason, just like ponies don't understand dragons) and, not gonna lie, the way how she cruelly and harshly rejects Spike here feels like you just wanted to write a mouthpiece story to express how much you hate Sparity. :unsuresweetie:


7820851

What an interesting twist. Celestia hires Tirek to deal with Nightmare Moon? That means she essentially wants Tirek to kill her own sister and grants him freedom if he fulfills the task. This is very dark. Must be in a universe where constant battles for power take place and where even Celestia cares about nothing than her own power and wants to keep it at every cost. A very unique take that would make for a very thrilling story.


7821497

A bit hard to read at the beginning, because of the lack of context, but it clears up quickly and is a breathtaking twist. An unusual ship, too, Hitch fits much better to Sunny. But I can see a little dynamic between him and Zipp, so this relationship could work.


7822589

Sweetie Belle is so helpful here. :heart: She did it just right. Showing off her entire collection is definitely more beneficial for Rarity's career than restricting herself to just one dress. Sweetie Belle gets it. :heart:


7823575

Hmm, this one is enigmatic and it doesn't give away its story easily. I spot a certain pattern of seeing things..... Is this poem about Celestia dying through some strange, apocalyptic force and passing the torch on to Twilight? I feel that this isn't exactly what is happening here, there is more to it, but that's all I got. I like the enigmatic approach, though, something to think about and guess and speculate is always welcome.


7823622

Different Twilights from other worlds/universes/timelines/dimensions and Twilight worries that not all of them will go back to their home and instead sneak through a portal into one of the other, better worlds, because the conditions in their own worlds are in some way horrible/apocalyptic. But they all look a little different from each other, as one of the Twilights referred to as "CozyTwilight" points out, so they can easily check if every Twilight went through the right portal.
I am not sure if I understand the end right, but, CozyTwilight does exactly what Twilight feared, she pushes a stronger and more powerful Twilight referred to as "PrimeTwilight" through the portal into her own world so that she can defend herself against Cozy Glow, her tormentor, and get rid of her? Is that what happens here?


7828103

And then Trixie got her cutie mark, when she realized how amazed and fascinated she is by magic tricks. I needed a moment to get what you were going for, because the scene is so mundane and describes such an average, well-known moment (everyone saw that magic card trick at some point in their life), but I like it that you didn't outright say that Trixie got her cutie mark after this. The coin only drops at the end and this actually mimics the feeling that Trixie had in that sudden moment of realization of her special talent, the style choice is great and puts you right into Trixie's horsehoes.

7828215 Your review is spot on.

is Discord just rhyming?

Discord is just rhyming.

7828215
Wow... I won't lie, I was disheartened to see a comment like this. I'm disappointed that you would only offer such a bad-faith assumption of my intentions, rather than focus on the piece as a piece of writing. I was really hoping for feedback on something other than the choice of ship, honestly.

Do you have thoughts on the style or the quality of the writing itself? Was I successful in telling a complete story in the given wordcount? How about some advice on how I might approach future flashfics? Any of that would be more helpful to me as I continue to improve my writing skills.

7828215
I can see three ways of interpreting the story: innocently, maturely, and psychologically.

Your first assumption that this is a vampire attack is the one I expect everyone will be assuming upon first reading this. But the last line wouldn't make any sense until some thought is put with the rest of the story.

This leads to your speculation of this being erotic is the second interpretation of the flashfic, but you're being too soft on it. "The shadow slammed him to the ground", "he's forced to stare into the crimson glowing eyes", "twirling on a spot that's pulsing with blood." I'm basically implying signs of what is likely going to be rape.

Dark, yes, but if you put a little imagination to it, the story begins to become a metaphor to the abstract thoughts of what a stallion (or male) might think towards the idea of settling down and starting a family, the third interpretation. The vampire representing the girlfriend, the seduction representing attempts of coaxing him to the idea, the stallion attempting to flee representing his distaste to the thought, the biting representing marriage, and the lead to the last word of being a father is a likely outcome. It's basically Faline approaching Bambi as adults (one lick, and he's hers) and the fact that there's a vampire (something often considered as fiction) could be a good indicate that the stallion is subconsciously dreaming this scenario.

7828215

Different Twilights from other worlds/universes/timelines/dimensions and Twilight worries that not all of them will go back to their home and instead sneak through a portal into one of the other, better worlds, because the conditions in their own worlds are in some way horrible/apocalyptic. But they all look a little different from each other, as one of the Twilights referred to as "CozyTwilight" points out, so they can easily check if every Twilight went through the right portal.
I am not sure if I understand the end right, but, CozyTwilight does exactly what Twilight feared, she pushes a stronger and more powerful Twilight referred to as "PrimeTwilight" through the portal into her own world so that she can defend herself against Cozy Glow, her tormentor, and get rid of her? Is that what happens here?

Interpret it in whatever way you most enjoy. The story provides no commentary on if PrimeTwilight is stronger than CozyTwilight. Prime might be or she might not--however the reader prefers. PrimeTwilight's world is just host to all the other Twilights, thus Prime.

One alternative interpretation is that CozyTwilight desperately wants to be free and live in a safe place, but your proposed interpretation is certainly a more optimistic one. :pinkiehappy:

7820521
I liked this piece, capturing a moment that honestly would have been good to have happen on the show (as opposed to the quasi-addressing we get in "Dragon Dropped"), giving Spike's affection for Rarity a potential meaning beyond a running gag. I certainly didn't see it as cruel; Rarity sees it as merely a silly childhood crush and thinks they're about to laugh the whole thing off together, and is caught off guard when Spike still is committed to it. Does a good job being evocative within the limited space.

7828255

Any of that would be more helpful to me as I continue to improve my writing skills.

Maybe next time, if what you write isn't blatant ship-bashing. :trixieshiftleft:

7828278

Hmm, now that I'm reading it again, I can see that metaphor. A stallion who is scared of committing himself to a family life and having a nightmare about that, I am not good with subtle implications at the moment, but now that you explained that, I can feel this when I read it again. Brilliant, I already know your talent from 2020, but this is even better than anything I read from you three years ago. I now say that's the best flashfic of this month and I really hope you win.
You have improved in the last 2+ years. :ajsmug:

This leads to your speculation of this being more erotic being the second interpretation the flashfic, but you're being too soft on it. "The shadow slammed him to the ground", "he's forced to stare into the crimson glowing eyes", "twirling on a spot that's pulsing with blood." I'm basically implying signs of what is likely going to be rape.

In a sexual context, I was thinking it's rough sex play, with some BDSM. Especially the mention of leather gave me that impression. The thought of rape didn't occur to me. I think both interpretations work.

7828320

Hmm, even after reading it again, I can't see a different interpretation working here. It seems pretty clear to me. But, like I just said to Amereep, I'm not good with spotting subtle implications at the moment, so maybe I missed something.

PrimeTwilight's world is just host to all the other Twilights, thus Prime.

Does that mean the Twilight who spoke at the beginning and was worried about bringing the other Twilights back to their homes was PrimeTwilight?

I also finally managed to write another response in our grammar discussion in the January thread, if you haven't seen that yet.

7828480

Wow okay, haven't participated in one of these for awhile but seeing one of my best friends give it a shot and then have their work be insulted and criticized for being "ship blasting" and accused of just writing something for the sake of hating a ship is very incredibly disheartening and honestly doesn't really make me want to come back.

Frankly I'm mostly baffled after reading this by the sheer volume of defense and stretching you do in this criticism when the story really isn't even about that at all, the author even said they were inspired by a song which shares a LOT of parallel with what was actually written. It's personally quite a bad look to see someone comment on something in such bad faith and then double down on it rudely later.

7828480
Whoa there, cowboy; ease up on the reins. There's no need to escalate the situation when the guy was just asking for a little critical feedback. It's a rather gentle buzz, but a buzz all the same, and far harsher than simply defending what you said as your own personal opinion. We're all friends here, and there needn't be undeserved bashing. We can all get along like reasonable people, can't we?

7828255
Personally, I rather enjoyed this submission; it was actually my personal favorite of them. It has a good narrative style and a thought-provoking twist as Spike attempts to cleave to the heart of the matter and gets gently shut down. The 'so, is that a yes/no' is a time-honored trope, but I still didn't quite expect it, and the hesitance in Rarity's response was audible enough that it actually made me feel a little something. Combined with the flavorfully scant level of detail, and I honestly think you've done very well, here.

As an amateur writer myself, I believe in separating feelings from interpretations; the methodology of constructing characters and situations for sheer artistic purpose rather than expressing any actual opinion. I've certainly written many interpretations of characters that I don't actually prefer, yet I know all the same that they mesh into the environment very well as they are. For the purpose of a scene, I believe in adapting perceptions for the means of crafting a narrative, to the absolute utmost.

So, in the environment of a genial writing contest for which there is no merit besides small acclaim, there is absolutely no harm in exploring dynamics for the inherent pleasure of exploration. For the love of writing.

If any of us did not love writing and wish to explore our avocation, then we wouldn't be here, would we? It's important to remember we're here because we enjoy writing.

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There's no need to escalate the situation when the guy was just asking for a little critical feedback.

I'm not going to debate this here, as it would just derail the thread and eventually devolve into petty fighting. If you really want to talk about this, you can send me a private message.

7828596
You're right, and I'm sorry for having brought the issue up in such a direct manner, and for using such negative wording. It isn't very peaceable to address someone directly, and for whatever disagreement I may have brokered in the process, I only hope it doesn't affect anyone involved. I think it'd be self-defeating to discuss this further, but I genuinely hope you have a good day.

In other, more positive news and in the interest of making up for space constructively, I'm going to say a few words on my second favorite submission.

7822589 <<Review Here
The narrative presented on this submission is extremely grabbing in such a short time, for the sheer fact of the ending if nothing else- though the rest is just as important. I am such a huge fan of presenting a turn in contradictory means, and for doing it in so few words as well. I strive to emulate the sort of nuance managed in describing Rarity's blank-faced mask of 'this situation is under control' every day, and every day, I absolutely fall short.

The dialogue and characterization are on point, the emotions are tangible, the formatting is consummate, and Sweetie Belle is adorable. The classic dichotomy of high strung Rarity and her overeager little sister is always entirely compelling, and I'm a massive proponent of subversion. :twilightsmile:

7828483

I also finally managed to write another response in our grammar discussion in the January thread, if you haven't seen that yet.

Noted!

Does that mean the Twilight who spoke at the beginning and was worried about bringing the other Twilights back to their homes was PrimeTwilight?

Most likely. The only Twilight it certainly cannot be is CozyTwilight and the Twilight it is most likely to be is PrimeTwilight. I think I see where your understanding is coming from now. Perhaps you were interpreting prime as the "best" as opposed to the first/number one (e.g. Primary, Secondary, Tertiary, etc.).

7828636

I think I see where your understanding is coming from now. Perhaps you were interpreting prime as the "best" as opposed to the first/number one (e.g. Primary, Secondary, Tertiary, etc.).

Exactly. "Prime" is usually indicating superiority or strength. See: Optimus Prime. Using it to say "primary" is something I have never seen anywhere.

Loganberry
Group Admin

Admin note: you can assume that "Please comment on the stories, not on their writers" is in the rules. I'll be disappointed if I have to add it explicitly.

That draws a line under that. (Anything further to say to me on the matter, please use PMs.)

Some interesting discussions going on, so please continue with those!

Loganberry
Group Admin

7828729

Some interesting discussions going on, so please continue with those!

Or, indeed, not. :rainbowwild: Anyway...

7820351 7820352 7820357 7820521 7820851 7821497 7822589 7823575 7823622 7824611 7827841 7828103

...it's results time! I know it's boring and clichéd to say that you all made it really difficult for me, but it's boring, clichéd and true! It's fair to say there was more than one fic this month that I feel fairly rotten not placing, but them's the breaks when you lot insist on writing such good stuff! So...

Hon mensh 1: Vivid Syntax -- Not a common ship, but you made me believe in it. Just enough information to understand the situation, not too much to drown out the emotional hit, and heartwarming feels to end with.
Hon mensh 2: SparklingTwilight -- Very striking, albeit also rather uncomfortable -- all the more so once you start thinking about it a little. One question: am I right to think "Friendmaker" is a nod to Lets Do This's fine Twific?
Winner: mushroompone -- This one floored me, real punch-in-the-gut stuff. That complete changing of the situation in one line at the end is something I've always had a soft spot for, and your fic did it so well. And that last line in particular: oof.

Congratulations to you all, and especially to mushroompone for winning at the first attempt! It now falls to you to pick next month's prompt. By all means take a day or so to think about it if you like (though posting straight away is also fine) and when you're ready please post your choice here.

Thank you once again to all of you for contributing to what I think was a particularly high-quality FF150 this month. :twilightsmile:

7830291
Awesome! Thanks for running, Logan, and for the Honorable Mention. Time to set my sights on the next one!

Great work, all!

7830291
Alas, Opaline shall lick her wounds (probably by hurling toys at the wall and stealing Misty's ponycorn) and conquer this contest another day. Congrats to the winners!

7830291

Darn, I was hoping that Amereep will win this month, because of his clever metaphors, multiple ones, in his flashfic and the psychological depth contained in it. This might even be the best flashfic I've ever read.
Amereep has outdone himself with it and I think also every other flashfic author I've ever met.

Loganberry
Group Admin

7830415
I mean, I can't please everyone! One of the problems with contest judging is that all except one person don't win. :rainbowwild: Another is that it's just my opinion, rather than in more professional contests where there's often a panel of judges. But then the whole point of FF150 is not to be like a big pro-style contest. As I said in my announcement, there were fics this month that I felt deserved recognition, but I just didn't have enough (non-)prize spots. Amereep has been entering FF150 for a long time and is a very valued participant here -- and indeed has won in the past. Just not this time.

7830415
It doesn't bother me. It'd be nice to win, but I think I'm at my best when I'm not in control of the prompt. And while I have had one in mind for some time now, I tend to have no idea what the prompt should be about. I usually choose ones that're intended to tell an incident that happened to me or to test the reaction to a portion of a story I'm writing.

Besides, out of all the stories Logan has to judge, I often believe that I'm one of the toughest to tackle because I tend to break the traditional route that one would expect from writers. It's basically brilliance vs beauty as it's incomparable. While many people here have written tales that moves the heart thanks to the many great stories they've read, I try to show perspectives that blows the mind thanks to my everlasting curse that many have named... 'autism'.

7830420
I'll get you to acknowledge me again someday, senpai!

7830420

I am merely expressing my crushed fanpony hopes over not seeing my favourite win. That's all. Nothing else to see here. :rainbowwild:

7830291

One question: am I right to think "Friendmaker" is a nod to Lets Do This's fine Twific?

- Indeed!
- That does bring up a question. Did Lets Do This originate the term "Friendmaker" or was it in prior wider use? I had thought the latter, but figure the groupmind might know more.

Loganberry
Group Admin

7830452
I believe it's a Lets Do This original. The fic is LDT's Royal Canterlot Library entry, and in their interview there's a question "What inspired 'Friendmaker'?" -- wherein the author says they came up with the name.

7830463
Very interesting; thank you! :pinkiegasp:

7830291
Aw, I'm honored!! Definitely a lovely batch of fics ^^ I'm pleased to be recognized.

Since the fic I wrote this month was inspired by Vylet Pony's music, let's stick with that theme! Next month's prompt can be "carousel". Happy writing, everyone!

Loganberry
Group Admin

7830566
Great; thank you! :twilightsmile: Plenty of scope for interesting interpretations of that.

This thread remains open for feedback posting if anyone wants to do so.

7830451

Hmm, I'm already doing that, because I write feedback for every flashfic (least as long as I can think of something to say, but so far, this has never been different) and that's where I write down my thoughts and why I like a flashfic, anyway. Unless I have to say that much about a flashfic that the thread here just isn't enough, I don't have a need for writing dedicated blog entries.

I kind of enjoy this one, it's fun to read aloud.

The Autumn leaves swept under the galloping stallion, drifting to the full moon before a shadow swooped through.

This sentence(?) gives me a clear image, but I find it a little awkward. It needs different punctuation. I would try a hyphen between "full moon" and "before a shadow" and/or at the end of the sentence. Especially at the end.

Pinned to the dirt, he's

At a great place to transition to present tense for the rest of the story!
I like the way this sentence flows in present tense, but then the sentence after this when Shadow "smiled" at Stallion it's kind of painful to go back to past tense.
General rule of thumb: stay consistent! I didn't really notice the tense transitions first time around, but on a close reading it's annoying. I'm honestly tempted to edit your fic just so it's present tense.

sending chills as she gently grazed down along his neck,

I have misread "grazed" as "gazed" like three times now. This line makes a lot of sense as gaze, but if it's "grazed" (like she's grazing his neck with a fang) then I have a phrasing suggestion:

sending chills as she gently grazed down along his neck,

"Grazing" already implies that the action is along something. And the down part is plenty obvious with next clause.

"I'll drain you, down to the last drop."

Is this comma a breath? You could push this sentence even further~ With formatting!

"I'll drain you, down to the last drop."

He stretched out his neck in a hopeless attempt to avoid her drifting lips.

I do love me some drifting lips.

My last nitpick is that "you'll be a father" is kind of blunt? It could work if she were a bug who might lay eggs in her victims.
Neat all around! I appreciate the premise, I think the characters are alright. I definitely interpret this as biasing a lot more toward the smexual side than the horror side.
It seemed to me that the stallion was consenting, but I'm interested if anyone else got a different vibe?

7820352
I like this, very quality. And the rhyme at the end? Ah yeah, worth it.

I like the opposite traits you have given each friend; I find Fluttershy's hamburgers especially appealing amusing.

But there's something pernicious about this fic. The real subversion is Twilight, as she has just given up on all of her friends. And her disappointment is predicated on arguably shaky grounds.


7820357

I enjoy this one a lot.

This isn't feedback so much as it is me fanboying.

The tone and imagery really brings me into the setting. The first paragraph doesn't have any full stops, just a colon. When the end of the sentence finally comes it's like releasing a sigh. The tone is melancholy, reflecting Twilight when she first arrives. And I love the words "shiver" and "blustery," they deepen the feeling of autumn. This is cemented with the poetically "auburn" trees, whose color juxtaposes the cold (just like real life!). It's pretty and cold, familiar and alien. Bittersweet.

I also am a really big fan of the fourth paragraph. There's a lot of emotion and thought in these two sentences. Twilight is uncomfortable, overwhelmed to the point where even a breeze is "buffeting," And I feel like her pitching her wings is very poignant. It hits emotionally, and feels like a subdued action and... I dunno. It makes me empathize with Twilight, I feel that stay/go mentality; the flutter of choice. But's it's all swept away with the breeze which parallels the nature of the universe, life and (especially, probably) Applejack (or arguably Apple Bloom or the Apple family, or some other ambiguously apple related friend(s)). Twilight's comparison here is not just a reflection on life, but an impression of her immortality: that she will see the death of all things. Basically, this paragraph really lets you in on Twilight's state of being, which brings empathy.

One final thing, I love the last line. It's cathartic. The whole story prior to this is Twilight slowly stumbling into her grief. Feeling the joy, the end, and the legacy of her friend. All of these sensations are upon Twilight in conflict, until she sighs. And everything collapses into a resolute thought. The deflation of everything, the simple summary is closure. It is a comfort. It is an emptiness, a hollow where once there was chaos. It is Rest.

The penultimate paragraph is nice due to the clues it leaves. The "solitary" monument denotes (in my interpretation) a single pony. That pony being apple-related by the apple-blossoms/TREES. Then, Twilight sighs at the grave. Significantly, Twilight has not sighed prior to this point in the story, so we can guess that the prior four sighs were at four other graves. Who is part of a set of five ponies Twilight was closely linked to and is apple-related? Applejack. Because she was part of Twilight's five mane friends and her name has "apple" and she farms apples on an apple orchard and not to mention her parents were buried under an apple tree, and her cutey mark is apples, and because of all this apples have a great significance to her, etc.

I guess I could make something of an argument for Apple-bloom with how many apple blossoms are around. Perhaps there's some story about how Apple Bloom and Applejack are somehow significantly related with respect to Twilight and Death.

TL;DR I also like the sad.

7820521

I like this one as well (gasp)!

One thing that I didn't quite grasp though, was Rarity's "shell-pink nostrils." The first three times I read this fic, I thought that this line meant Rare's laugh came from her nostrils, now I'm certain she just breathed in through her nostrils after laughing. That is a neat touch. But struggle with Rarity having pink nostrils.

My personal comment: that last line, I have no idea how what I feel. About it. Is that, like, a hint of smugness? Reconciliation? Disappointment? I have. No idea. Ha ha :derpyderp1:


7820851

This would be a good opening to a story. I think you characterize Tirek very well. Like, Tirek's monologue is on point. The line "Only the Strong survived, a maxim coined by nature itself" is cool and goes a long way to showing what Tirek is about.

If you wanted to improve (this is my very personal take), I think that a lot of your story is building towards Tirek having some compelling plan, some clever deceit to overturn the grand order of things. But there isn't anything more specific hinted at. The idea I got was that Tirek would defeat Nightmare moon and do what he already tried to do in the show, and to me that isn't really compelling. What aspects will make this interesting? Where is the conflict, the challenge?

Also it's been a while since I watched the Tirek episode(s), so if there's relevant backstory don't be afraid to bring it up.

Or maybe I have been looking at this fic from the wrong angle. Perhaps it's actually Celesia who is the deceitful one!

7821497

:pinkiegasp: :yay:

7823575

My entry this month inspired by JinxTJL's entry. It's basically "what if I just took it to its logical extreme?"

I think my story is neat. :)

One gripe: I haven't actually read "Paradise Lost," and the line isn't a reference. Still, everytime I read the line all I think is: "that's a reputedly famous book! It sure doesn't have anything to do with my poem that I know of! Am I trying to look well read to justify my presence or appeal to some socialite fantasy?"

One thing that annoyed me, until I remembered my authorial intent was, was the fact that the last stanza doesn't have a one line header like the previous four/five sections. But that was intentional as it's supposed to read it as a blank header like a word that hasn't been invented yet; a season yet to be named: The season at the end of all things.

I really really like the second line. I think it and the imagery in Summer is what hooks my attention. Like at first it's like, "whaaat?" but then it becomes clear that "oh you're really going for this, okay," and then I am curious enough to read the rest.

Also one other thing, Midnight is intended to be the alicorn after Twilight.

7830723

I definitely interpret this as biasing a lot more toward the smexual side than the horror side.

If I'm being truthful, this flashfic was intended for quite a few contests that I never entered.

It started one October where they wanted a story done in a week. A vampire chase seemed fun, but I had no ending. I knew I wanted him to get caught, build anticipation over the story, having her play with her food, and then a naughty thought occurred. With terms like 'suck you dry' and 'sink into you', I thought that ending it with him yelling 'NOOOO!' after being told that he will be a father to be a humorous twist that would make this story unique. I obviously didn't do it because of time.

Then another October, upon discovering a yearly contest involving clop, I thought about entering the idea. All that day, I thought of ways to go about it, but I couldn't get to... 'the act' as there's so many variables to keep in mind such as one's preference, turn offs, and making it unique enough to really sell it. After settling on a direction that it would stop before the 'X' rating, I asked the judge, but he wanted 'the deed' done. I turned it down because there are only so many ways to describe 'the sport' and make 'play-by-play' interesting before it becomes a series of cliché lines.

Finally, it is what it is. Children know what vampires do, so I tried that fake out to be more of a 'what does she mean by that?' while a mature audience would understand and see it differently (Rocko's Modern Life did it all the time as well as a bunch of 90s shows, yet it always went over my head. If I questioned, I got deflected by my mom saying, 'I'll tell you when you're older'). As I wrote this flashfic, I realized of a third take on it, but I think hardly anyone would've caught it, so I didn't hesitate at pointing towards it when Fluttercheer asked.

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