That was pretty good! I like how it seemed he was a semi normal and sane pony right up to the point he vomited up the two he killed. That bit was quite funny! (I have a twisted sense of humour)

6797272 Glad you liked it! When I first started toying with the idea behind this story that was actually one of the original ideas that I wanted to put in it. Needless to say I wanted to make it at least a bit humorous, even though the concept is absolutely horrendous

some inconsistency, like being able to see the stars, but an alright oneshot, if a bit grim.

A bit twisted is definitely spot on. I would say most of the dislikes are from those who found the content disturbing, which it definitely is, but I found the presentation rather intriguing.

This portrayal of a raider actually lends some reasoning to his awful actions, albeit the kind of reasoning expected from a mind gone mad. He exists within his own darker version of an already dark, cruel world; that understanding is necessary if we want to even read through this story.

This premise is a difficult one to explore, and I found the attempt successful. This story is a brutal read, but an insightful one.

6797798
Shoot, forgot about that. Better fix that quick.

6799495
I figured as much about the dislikes, seeing as usually people jump at any grammar mistakes. Glad you enjoyed it and realised what I was going after with this.

That was actually pretty good, although little darker than I usually read, very disturbing, although by showing the world from the perspective of a Raider and one od Red Eye's no less it couldn't really not be.
This story was very effective in what I can only guess as it's purpose, and that purpose being to provide a glimpse into the mind of one of the ponies that are so far removed from the rest of their species as to use them for decoration, or food. This review might be a bit quick, as I don't have much to say apart from that, my only complaint being that there wasn't much description in the mind of the raider, that's alright given that it's a one-shot and a fairly short one, but the lack of detail simply eats at me. Perhaps also an improvement in the streamlining of your writing may be in order, but otherwise this was a... successful story, I largely agree with The Amateur, you did well to touch on something that isn't really touched on, but the viewpoint is so unpleasant that I don't think you'll get much love for it.
Well done on taking a leap though.
Honora Imperator

6799619 one more little bit of advice. If you do a Fallout Equestia story, you should publish it when most people in the west are asleep. Fo:E gets a lot of passive aggressive hate, so it's best to just let Fo:E fans find it through the forum groups. Around 11pm PST is a good time to do it. That way all the kids and foal cons are in bed.

6799784
Cheers! While the dislikes bother me slightly I've figured that's just how it is. People hardly want to read something like this when they have feelgood high fantasy one click away. Sometimes myself included.
I'm not a very experienced writer and I now realise I tend to skim over some details, I suppose this was more of practise and a quick little project I was exited to do. As long as some people can appreciate this I'll be happy with what i've done

I might rewrite some this and add into it at some point, I'm still really waiting for any feedback on it. So thanks a lot!

6799875
No problem Always happy to help.
If you feel like coming back to something similar further down the line, you could try a longer story from a Raider's point of view, perhaps starting the prologue from the perspective of a caravan pony that is then a victim of the raider character, then the second(first) chapter taking off after the raid from the Raider's POV.
Keep up the good work.
Thanks for the reply, its good to see authors that do that.
Honora Imperator

6803583
I believe that two way communication helps in a lot of different ways, it is a two way street after all, so might as well utilise it so
And not a bad idea. I was thinking about maybe making more similar shorts with different personalities, but seeing as I have a fascination with the raider archetype, I might just do that.

6799872 Only now saw your comment
I'll keep this in mind, being from Europe though will make it harder. Cheers!

As a big fan of FO:E myself, I was looking for story that depicts POV of some raiders, and this is pretty much I wanted. No heroism, no sympathy, no remorse, only to seek blood and murder. Loved this. I understand many people don't like this kind of story, but for people who seek specific story for senseless violence, this is the treat.

I wanted more violence, though. Guess I'm just a sick sadistic MF XD

7621931 I'm glad to hear that I would love to write a much longer version of this but I'm a terrible writer, at least when it comes to actually writing things.

https://youtu.be/usS_b4I8vps
https://youtu.be/04Jkoa8nXT0