Spike, Ember, and Thorax are having their monthly friendship meeting when he gets the idea to visit Sunset Shimmer in the human world. After going through the portal, he learns an unsettling and infuriating truth about his life. He doesn't take it very well.

Rated T for strong language, sexual content, and violence.

Art by CaptainLoserFace
Editing by Shardikku

We know what happened, we know what happened, and we still don't know what happened... so here's something that might have happened if a butterfly in Gryffinstone didn't fart in a North North Western direction while Jupiter was rising in Neptune's light on the four hundred and twenty third rotation of Polaris on its x axis.

Equestria lost, the Storm King won. His pelvic thrusts proved this! With his victory assured, he now holds possession over powers that no single Satyr, or any mortal creature for that matter, should hold and wield like a child with a Fallout 3 style Gatling laser equipped with a super hair trigger. Like, so sensitive a gust of wind would set it off, so you know the kid is fubarred, but the guardian is just like, "Oh, don't look down the barrel, I know you'll listen to me because all kids listen to their parents, especially when told not to do something.

But it's okay, because this holding device isn't something made from some holy kind of relic, no it is a crystal on a stick, so you know it has to be more powerful and able to hold the combined powers of a true God than, say, several individual gems that split the power and divide them into individual sources for powers he could wield and use as a future plot point for any number of theatrical ideas, but it's not like anyone could have ever thought to split the powers of a god into pieces, right? Right?!

So, after his predictable denial, refusal to help Tempest, he sees Princess Twilight and Tempest to be as useless as they were throughout the movie and does something that seems to be right in line with what he'd do; he decides to execute them by entrusting them to his totally competent and effective guards who bested the Royal Guard of Canterlot and representatives of Equestria in all out combat.

A commish.

Art by feathershine1