• Member Since 27th Jul, 2011
  • offline last seen 1 hour ago

Andrew Joshua Talon

Just a fellow traveler...

More Blog Posts439

  • Today
    Short Hand: The Pound

    Shepherd is taking in the sights of Manehattan, looking around the park. He buys a hotdogs, tries it... And then begins choking as his face turns red..

    Shepherd: "HRUKK! HACK! HARGLE!"

    He bursts out of the bushes in front of some well to do mares, trying to ask for help.

    Shepherd: "HRRRAAAGGHKKK!!!"

    Mares: "EEEEEK!"

    Read More

    6 comments · 152 views
  • Wednesday
    Short Hand: Metal Elephants

    Twilight and Shepherd descended into a little explored part of the archives, below the main vaults.

    Twilight: "This is essentially a large warehouse where the Princess and other mages cast stasis spells on whatever we found. Honestly, there's so much junk from your world here!"

    Read More

    14 comments · 271 views
  • Tuesday
    Doohickey and Music Box

    Shepherd helps Doohickey out with an upgrade for Music Box.

    Shepherd: "And I do it like this?"

    Doohickey: "Carefully! Just tuck it in... You all right, sweetie?"

    Music Box: "I'm okay Grandpa!"

    Shepherd: "Annnd... How is that?"

    Doohickey: "Hm... Not bad."

    Read More

    8 comments · 265 views
  • Tuesday
    Human Style Diplomacy

    Starlight Glimmer and Shepherd go to try and make peace with the Changelings...

    Shepherd: "Hello Queen Bug-Pony! I am here with Starlight Glimmer to try and make peace."

    Chrysalis: "Oh, are you? I find that interesting-"

    Shepherd opens his coat, revealing a strange device strapped to his chest.

    Read More

    9 comments · 408 views
  • Monday
    I'm Not A Goddamned High School Harem Protagonist! 1

    So our hero eventually goes to visit the Equestria Girls universe-So called because the world is Equestria but with humans. Alas, it is not his Earth, which sucks. And to make matters worse...


    Twilight: "What? What's wrong with being a teenager again?"

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    9 comments · 436 views

Short Hand: The Truth of the Hands · 11:28pm April 10th

Shepherd: "Hey Twilight. I'm off to Canterlot!"

Twilight: "Oh? What's the occasion? Didn't you just get done with one of your meetings with the Defense Council?"

Shepherd: "Oh, no. That snoozefest is over for another month. I'm off to help the Princesses with Luna's therapy."

Twilight: "Princess Luna's therapy?"

Shepherd: nods "Yeah! Apparently I'm pretty good at massages and touch therapy is really helpful for someone who spent a thousand years in isolation."

Twilght: "... Touch therapy, you say?"

Shepherd: "Uh huh. I gave a few massages to Princess Celestia when I was at the palace, actually."

Twilight: wide eyed, bright red "You did?!"

Shepherd: "What? It was the least I could do for her! Luna's been very happy too, afterwards!"

Twilight: "Um... Shepherd, your massages ARE very nice... But do you know why?"

Shepherd: "Apparently some kind of magic reaction to the null magic field I generate? It causes a surge of endorphins and hormones that you can't really get with a massage from a pony. I know that."

Twilight: "Do you know how big of a surge it is though?"

Shepherd: "Well... I mean, you always have to sleep it off after I do it to you... So do the Princesses... Dash curses a lot during hers... And..."

Twilight: "..."

Shepherd: "..."


Shepherd storms into the Canterlot Palace, and right into the princesses' dining room. Luna and Celestia were both there, eating breakfast/dinner respectively.

Luna: "Ser Shepherd? What is it?"


Celestia: Bright red

Luna: Even brighter red

Comments ( 12 )

THAT'S why they didn't tell you. They knew you'd freak out.

(... That is a talent many human males would kill for Shepherd. I do understand being miffed that no one bothered to inform you you had it though.)

Oops busted

So... Shepherd is Orgasmo. Cool!

Someone did, Shepherd. That's why you're reacting like this. And thus you have the answer to your question.

Probably would have figured it out sooner if he had more guy friends...

Dude, couldn't you tell? My very first thought was "Couldn't you smell it?" If you can't tell this about your massage clients, you need to pay better attention to what you're doing.

And that's how it's all his fault this time.

Shepherd: "I had terrible allergies for the whole first year. I was constantly congested!"

I can't help but think of a side story to The Changeling of the Guard. Please tell me I'm not the only one.

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