Short Hand: The Articles · 9:24pm Aug 5th, 2020
Shepherd: "Hey Twilight? I got your mail for you. Huh, what's this magazine? Predator Fetish Monthly?"
Twilight: bright red, snatches it away with her telekinesis "Th-That's about scientific inquiries into the religious practices of certain predator groups and tribes and definitely not pornographic in any way whatsoever ahahahaha!"
Shepherd: "... Okay?"
Fluttershy: "Hello Twilight! I just got the latest issue!"
Rarity: "Me too! Ooh, there's a dragon in this one!"
Dash: "We can compare it and... Ah... Oh, hey Shepherd."
Shepherd: "Hey... I suppose you all read that same magazine too?"
Pinkie: "Of course! For the-"
Twilight: "Science of predator religion! Given you are a predator and religious it is a natural thing to discuss and not weird at all!"
Shepherd: "... Right! Well, you all enjoy that... I'm going to go somewhere else. Far away."
Pinkie: "Are you sure you wouldn't like to stick around and... Eat some meat? In front of us?"
Rarity: "Or give us a bite-I MEAN have a bite! With us!"
Twilight: "NO."
Shepherd: "Why not Twilight? After all I am an anthropologist and historian. Maybe I could join your reading?"
Fluttershy: "Um... I don't think so. It would be-"
Rarity: "Hot!"
Twilight: "Awkward! But you could go get us snacks? Please? For later?"
Shepherd: "Isn't that what you sent Spike to do-?"
Twilight: "He needs help!" *elbows Pinkie*
Pinkie: "OH! Right! I got a twitch that says Spike will be eaten by giant voles! You need to save him!"
Shepherd: "Surely you all could come and help me with that-?"
Dash: "WILL YOU LET US READ OUR PORN IN PEACE?!"
*Silence. Twilight facehoofs*
Rarity: "Rainbow Dash, one job. You had ONE JOB."
Dash: "Come on! He knew what we were doing and he's just messing with us!"
Shepherd: "Eeyup."
Fluttershy: *falls over in a faint*
Pinkie: "Aw! You spoiled the surprise!"
Shepherd: *shakes his head* "Hey, I'm not going to judge. Just tell me you want privacy next time, all right?"
Outside, Shepherd runs into Applejack, who was also carrying a copy of the non-descript magazine.
Shepherd: "Oh, hey Applejack. You're a fan too?"
Applejack: "Um... Yes! Ah am! Ah mostly jest read it for the articles!"
Shepherd: "You know I do have a background in anthropology and history. Perhaps you could read one for me?"
Applejack: "Errr... Ah cain't read! Which is why ah'm going to the library to get it read to me!"
Shepherd: "Uh huh."
Applejack: "Though... If you're interested ah'm sure Ah could read it with ya... Somewhere secluded... Alone-"
Dash: "HE KNOWS IT'S PORN!"
Applejack: "Motherbucker!"
Shepherd: "Honestly ladies... If you want a predator to hunt you down..."
Twilight: "Oh Celestia yes..."
Shepherd: "Pin you to the ground..."
Rarity: *biting her lower lip* "Mmm..."
Shepherd: "Bite hard on your throat as you beg to live... Offer anything in return to live... Anything..."
Pinkie: *muffled squeal*
Shepherd: "And who will buck you into his own personal broodmare?" *leans in to the panting Applejack and caresses her neck* "Just ask."
Applejack squeals and faints. Shepherd smiles, waves and walks off.
All: "..."
Rarity: "MINE!"
Dash: "LIKE TARTARUS HE IS!"
And a brawl ensues. Discord pops up near Shepherd and smirks.
Discord: "Reconsidering my offer to make you my heir?"
Shepherd: "We'll see."
Shepard doesn't need any chaos magic, he does just fine on his own. ^>^;
Fantastic.
Make. This. An arc. This is COMEDY GOLD!
I know we all joke about it, but if you have some time after fapping you should definitely check out the articles because there's some legitimately interesting stuff in there.
5329983
Magic helps him escape when he accidentallys the town.
5329983
As far as Discord's concerned, the best kind of apprentice is one so naturally talented that he doesn't actually have to do anything.
5330007
The story section is quite interesting. Especially since they've had an uptick in human-stories...
5330084
Everyone's a fan of the Endurance Predators.
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"He Just Wouldn't Stop-Even After He Caught Me!"
Well some of then apparently want him included in that privacy
Ahh. Massive troll
On a tooootally unrelated note, this reminds me of Pusspuss's stories
I should not have read this. Now I can't stop laughing!
This.
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That title sounds like one of those Men's Adventure magazines from the 50's. The ones that did the whole 'Weasels Ripped My Flesh!'
I could post a few covers here if I didn't think the site would ban them.
I also wonder how many griffons, dragons, etc., make some bits on the side posing for the, uh, scientific photos in the magazine. You know, comparative anatomy and stuff like that.
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More than likely they are several predators who make their living as porn stars for these magazines and movies, pretending to be ravenous predators.
Shepherd may get invited to become a model himself...
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I hope Garble isn't one of them. If he is then Smolder's gonna get a heck of a surprise someday.
Or Gallus. I can just see the poor guy trying to make some cash on the side, and then Silverstream decides to show her new magazine to all her friends and whoops.