Writer Time: State of The Process(tm) · 2:58am Jun 20th, 2019
Or: What's Bookish's Writing Life Like These Days?
Being Juniper Montage was a landmark work for me as a writer.
It was the first time I ever decided I would put absolutely everything I wanted to into a story, no matter how long that took. It was the culmination of everything I'd learned and loved about writing, with quite a bit of learned lessons thrown in over the course of the seven months it took to write. It was also the first and only time I have felt close to being a Real Writer(tm) in this fandom alongside the likes of celebrated figures like Monochromatic, Albinocorn, skirts, CiG, Stroke, et al--people able to put out real epics that twist peoples' hearts--as opposed to a purveyor of fluff and collections of platitudes with opioid properties. No matter what happens, I currently have one thing that I can point to and say, "yeah. I'm on the board."
That said, looking back upon it, both by myself and with Nanashi Jones's aid, it was clear that my writing ability could still be further honed. Which is an infinite thing--even when I die, I'll never officially have "learned everything" about writing, and nor will you reading this, nor will any creative. Which is fine--the point to creativity is never a linear progression of skill, for starters because that doesn't exist. The point is to get better at expressing and communicating your ideas and emotions, using the medium of your choice. In this way, we endeavor to better understand ourselves and the world around us. And if you're able to ulplift others through that self-expression, so much the better.
This is the truth, this is what I believe. At least for now.
At any rate, BJM was the culmination of my writing career up to that point--and that includes some of my wonkier quirks as well. I read bits of that story back to myself a fair amount, because, well, I like Juniper and just about no one else will write her in a starring story that takes her seriously, so literary cannibalism it is. And what I constantly run into, to my mild embarrassment is, the phenomenon that I have lovingly dubbed the Big Grand Sweeping Bookish Delight Heart to Heart (BGSBDH2H for short).
Longtime readers know what this is: the moment where characters share huge speeches with each other about their innermost fears and feelings (or "overshare," if you're feeling less charitable), which leads to a moment of bonding. It's either incredibly chartic or eye-rollingly cheesy, or sometimes both.
I love writing these. I dare say I'm addicted. They may even be what you, reading this, expressly come to me for. I'm not going to stop writing them either, so don't worry about that.
But looking after BJM, Nanashi and I both noticed something that can only happen when a short fiction writer pens their first longform thing: in BJM, the BGSBDH2Hs come one after another after another, and--at least for me these days--it comes off as too much of a good thing. Having so many strung together, including the flashback to the movie studio that I'm particularly fond of, dilutes the purpose of all of them individually. By the time you get to the Juniper/Sunset scene near the end, you can literally hear the plot stop along with the motorcycle. 
Furthermore, looking back over my stories made me realize that a lot of them take huge circumstantial shortcuts to get to those moments. They'll establish character advancement purely by telling, or quickly setting a scene full of things that would have been really interesting to explore in depth on their own (in BJM, the part where Juniper first meets Starlight and reminisces on all of the great times they had off-screen), in order to get them to a state where they're vulnerable or motivated enough to get them to have heart-to-hearts.
Now, as much as I love BJM and still hold it as the story I'm proudest to have written, these revelations have lodged themselves in my mind over the past several months and certainly affected my writing going forward. To that end, I've noticed that I've subconsciously been taking two measures in my writing ever since BJM was published:
1. Cutting down on the number of BGSBDH2Hs moments, and only saving huge, emotional declarations or people blurting out exactly what they think/feel when it comes time for the story's emotional climax(es).
Pros: I had to force myself to do this at first, but the results are genuinely engaging and I like them! It's resulted in a lot of characters just... not giving right away, and in turn causing me to wonder what's up with them, in a good way, even though I'm the one writing them in the first place! Overall, it adds emotional tension and sympathy, and it means that when the big confessions do happen, they carry more weight.
Cons: While I like the emotional tension and sympathy that this measure gives, it's also not very cathartic for me as a writer. Whenever I erase/postpone a big transparent emotional speech from a character, or even worse, have one character keep their feelings from another, it feels like I'm about to burst the more of the story I write. I like seeing characters bond, dammit. Seriously, if it were up to me Sunset and Twilight would never leave the bed. The bed, of course, is in Twilight's lab.
2. Showing, not telling, a LOT more than I do already. If I find myself covering huge swaths of time in a few words, step back and write a scene/minific about it instead.
Pros: Rarely do I dislike the material that comes from these endeavors, or feel that they make the story worse.
Cons: This measure is... exhausting. See, here's the deal: I currently have no less than 100,000 words that I've written over the last six or so months, consisting of one-shots and long-shots that have since morphed into much longer multi-chapter things because I can no longer shake the urge to expand every single passage of time into its own chapter or full-on story.
The effect is that now every single story I start becomes an unnavigable rabbit hole, with no way out, and none of the cathartic joy that comes from ending a story. It feels smothering, to say the least. Suffocating.
It doesn't help that I'm a discovery writer, albeit one who drafts a mild amount of structure before allowing the resulting collection of prompts take me wherever my ship may sail. Full outlines ruin the joy of creating stories for me, sadly--yet at the same time, I'm very prone to being overloaded by infinite options, which is what the pure discovery writing specializes in. Thus I compromise. Still, with this writing style, you may now see how the above can be paralyzing.
Anyway, I've started googling this predicament, now that I'm conscious of it. I really want to finish several stories that I've started and that I really enjoy writing; but I'm not sure how to finish them without that joy being sucked out before I'm finished with the proceedings.
Granted, a lot of this uncomfortableness could just boil down to me ultimately denying what makes me me. Wouldn't be the first time.
Ah well. I'll figure this out. Kind of have to. 
~B
I’m glad you’re able to analyze and improve (or at least rework) your writing style. That’s super cool!
Read: [11:11 PM]
I would love to see you finish Blooming its got so much potential!
i.kym-cdn.com/entries/icons/original/000/017/204/CaptainAmerica1_zps8c295f96.JPG
Y'know, this makes me think I should give BJM another shot. And you're so right--one never does stop learning. But I always say, if it seems tough, it's only because you're tackling more advanced techniques. If it helps, think how good your stuff will be when you master these things.
Dammit, I have got to stop reading your blogs when I should be asleep for work
and therefore unable to give a comment relevant enough to what you posted.Will reread after work and comment appropriately then. Pinkie Promise.
I'll second what Super Trampoline said. It's really nice to see this kind of reflection with an eye for self-improvement happening. The platitude response, of course, is that you should write the way you want to, doubly so if you're writing fanfiction for enjoyment's sake, so if you like writing lots of BGSBDH2Hs, you should keep writing them, but I think it's great that you recognize that tics and stylistic quirks or whatever you want to call them don't have to be set in stone. Hopefully there's a way to balance what you personally enjoy writing and what's effective in a story.
And I'm glad you're still proud of BJM. It's all too easy to start thinking poorly of your old work after just a few holes get poked in it
Best of luck with figuring stuff out
There, now all your stories are finished and you can post them.
To be fair, the show uses a lot of BGSBDH2Hs whenever it needs an emotional climax. Sometimes they're magical girl-grade chastisement/lessons that would've gotten the speaker killed five times if they didn't have the Tsukino Combat Monologue Exemption.
Obviously.
Going to echo the praise for the self-reflection. It's clear that the pendulum has swung too far the other way; best of luck in deciding when to cut off the fractal expansion of every narrative thread.
5077037
The show, 99% of the time, merely uses BGSH2Hs, and you've just explained half of why (my heart-to-hearts usually take place during quiet moments, though not always). The other, more pertinent half is that the show never commits to the sweet sweet
pseudo-shipping that the bonding characters deserve.Examples of the other 1% include the end of Friendship Games, and Lyrabon in Episode 100. Those are absolutely worthy of adding my name to the proceedings. :3
Interestingly, the strong emphasis on "showing" over "telling" is a fairly modern one, many older literary styles tend to rely more on exposition and narration. There's definitely a balance between showing and telling that depends on the needs of the story.
Okay, here we go...
might wanna bring some popcorn for this...Writer Time (Loud clock chime in the background)
Aaanyway...
*Makes mental note to read said story ASAP*
First off, you are a Real Writer(tm). I don't just mean that in the literal sense, for the record. You inspire the minds of almost one thousand six hundred people! How many folks around here can say that?
Second: When was the last time you looked at all the followers you have? I checked (Yes, I skimmed the names of all your followers.
That soundedwayless creepy in my head,but I did so to make a point) and you have several followers who could easily be counted among said celebrated figures: Georg, Jay David, Steel Resolve, RBDash47, RainbowBob, Majin Syeekoh, Ausbrony, Masterweaver, FoME, TheNewYorkBrony, PresentPerfect, Rose Quill, Oroboro, Novel-Idea, Wanderer D, Summer Dancer, and even Monochromatic and Albinocorn!TL; DR: Don't sell yourself short!
Third: "Opiod properties." XD I get it.
"For now?"
Sadly, Juniper may remain one of the many underappreciated characters of EG. =/
What's literary cannibalism?
I think I legit did that in my Juniper story! @_@
Wasn't there that one time...
I kid, I kid!
Sentence cut off at that point because holy crap do I know that feel.
Fight the good fight!!
-CapNTilfy
Guilty as charged, yes.
Also true, but I thought you were doing this on purpose to keep the word counts manageable in the first place!
Ah, well. In a fit of dramatic irony, the author who once bemoaned an inability to write long form stories is now unable to do anything but.
You'll find a happy medium somewhere.
5077305
Yes, do. Read it all in one sitting so it can tear you into tiny little pieces properly.
5077619
I can't guarantee I'd be able to do it one sitting. I've read a sadfic that almost overwhelmed me, and it's still running. I'm taking it bit by bit.
We'll see though...
5077625
You did. Wasn't bad, actually
5077663
Thanks!
Again, probably shouldn't have relied on tears for that one. XD
This is an endlessly fascinating journal for me to read. I've actually had to chew on it a lot before really feeling OK commenting on it
(which is only part of the reason it took me a week to do so lD; ), because as always the insight into your authorial mind-set, not just on a practical level but also on the level of the mentality you bring with you into your writing, is just so interesting to learn about. And I have a lot of respect for how willing you are not only to analyze your own techniques as an author (again not simply the what of them but the why of them; the stuff where you talk about the catharsis that comes from what you write resonated with me a lot), but to use that analysis as a launching pad for trying to further grow as a writer which is always the right way to look at it.But as someone who does indeed fall into the camp of "What You, Reading This, Expressly Come To Me For"? I also feel compelled to offer up a defense of sorts for the use of the BGSBDH2H in "Being Juniper Montage" that hopefully might also be able to help you think about what approach you want to take with it moving forward.
Because as much as I don't want to contradict or talk down to the person who wrote the thing? I kind of disagree with the notion that the BGSBDH2Hs in "Being Juniper Montage" dilute each other; for me at least, they enhance each other. They act as specific punctuation points for the various emotional and thematic arcs that are all running together over the course of the story and thus allow each one to unfold in its own space at its own pace without feeling like they're crashing into each other or sucking up each other's oxygen; indeed thanks specifically to the BGSBDH2H making the exact function of each piece feel so clear and important unto itself, you also allow the way they each act as a facet for the larger story they work together to create to feel that much more meaningful.
And the thing is I'm not just saying that to be The Fawning Fanboy Who Thinks Every Choice You Make Is Just The Best; like I said I think it's definitely for the best that you turn that critical eye on yourself and focus on how to continue evolving and improving because that's always the way to be! I just also think that sometimes the idea of a flaw in one's writing can often be relative y'know? Like...yes "Being Juniper Montage" uses the BGSBDH2H a lot, and one could indeed consider that a flaw in the right context, but for me at least I think in that context it really works! Which I guess is my chief point: as you continue to try and piece together the way to find a solution, consider that the problem itself may in fact be the answer, if that makes any sense at all? X3