Brand New Milestone! · 10:55am Jan 18th, 2019
Couldn't Have Done It Without Y'all! Thanks a Million.
In the meantime, to celebrate, enjoy a sneak preview of a certain "Macro Sissy Fic" I'm working on.
NSFW Material ahoy:
The first time you met Starlight Glimmer in person, you instantly knew you weren't enough of a man for her.
Granted, you haven't been much of a man for anything... or anyone in your twenty years of floundering around in this strange ballroom dance called “life.” An awkward childhood spent embodying a frail beanstalk of a nerd had ultimately produced a five-foot-and-three-inch punchline of an adult. And that's not covering all the cringey, bony parts of you that just recently finished smoothing out. It took the last two years of high school to endure the braces required for finally... finally fixing your damnable buck-toothed overbite. But, while your mouth straightened, the muscles of your limbs refuse to grow and at least half of your teenage freckles still remain lingering on your boyish face.
Needless to say, you haven't been able to score one with the ladies. Not that this surprises you any. All throughout your developing years, you had grown used to incessant teasing and ridicule from the softer side of the gender pasture: “Nice shorts, Featherweight! Did your Mommy buy those for you?!” Diamond Tiara used to chant across the school yard. “Pfft! Look at those arms! My pet hamster could wrestle Featherweight to the floor!” Silver Spoon would add. “Where's your crown, today, Zipporwhill? Oh. Shoot. It's you, Featherweight. My bad,” Scootaloo once said. Well, maybe more than once.
What you lacked in physical prowess and... well... a Celestia-damned spine wasn't very much compensated by any significant dollop of charisma, either, which simply buried your hopes of being a cool kid in those cruel, crucial years. Sure, you got your cutie mark sooner than most of the other schoolmates in Ponyville, but that amounted to little more than acting as Diamond Tiara's wage slave photographer. In fact, you had worked your wings off for the entirety of junior year to help her with some “personal documentary” bullshit. In the end, she kick-started a young modeling career off your material, and you got nothing but a swift kick in the ass.
The last three years of your life have been spent in woeful seclusion. You've drowned yourself in your photographic hobbies... in lonesome flights over the boughs of Everfree, snapping pictures of nature. But with each passing month—with the vestiges of time being painfully plucked from you like feathers off your dinky wings—you feel the opportunity for true bliss slipping away on greased lightning. And it's the same “true bliss” that every damnable young man your age obsesses over... but most of them have quite likely conquered.
You are a virgin—a pathetic, noodle-limbed, thin-wristed, raspy-voiced pantywaist of a virgin. What's more, you've remained untouched, unloved, and unclaimed at the ripe age of twenty. Twenty. Princess Luna on a bike, in just fifteen years, you'll be declared a “wizard,” and not of the legitimately awesome Court-of-Canterlot kind. From the way things look—flipping through the scant memories of your lonesome life like the pages of a photo album—you can tell that you'll get to that pathetic point of ultimate failure within a blink. And why should you think otherwise? Nothing else has gone the way you've hoped in this life. Your cold-hearted parents kicked you out at age eighteen and now you've forced yourself to eke out a paltry existence among three other roommates, cooped up in a shitty litter box of an apartment along the lower fringes of Fillydelphia. You make a living (if you can even call it that) wandering around the urban sprawls of Canterlot, taking boring stock photos for ten separate magazines—all of which you loathe and don't pay you shit in bits. You've considered taking up pizza delivery—what, with your wings and all—except that you're mortified at the idea of women laughing at you at the door and taking the pizza with no tip.
No tip. No... best not to ever... ever place yourself in some magical porno movie situation. Even in fantasy. For there is barely any “tip” to give. Mother nature's cruel prank on your height and limbs also extends to below the belt, and each night you limp into the shower you have to fight the urge to cry over how little there is to see when you gaze down at your manhood... boyhood... infanthood? Does it even deserve a nickname? It can barely drum up the duty to dribble—even after a full afternoon of chugging Dr. Pony. Real men have the cannonfire to shoot for the stars. You know this first-hand from enough red-faced communal changing sessions before and after P.E. in the boys' lockerroom. But as for you? It takes a trickling brook to do a mite's hair of movement to whatever paltry protein resides in your chestnuts. And the other tubes don't fair much better either. Your so-called “best friends” stopped going to amusement parks with you because you had to spread your morning sarsaparilla evacuation over the course of lady-like bathroom breaks every five fucking minutes.
There's a reason why Diamond Tiara and so many other girls laughably called you a “sissy” in high school, and part of you almost felt enough self-loathing to adopt that masochistic moniker.
But—thank Goddess—another kink rolled into your headspace to save your life.
Live long and feminize,
-Frad
Damn, you should wait until a few over or you get smart-assed people unfollowing as a gag.
Not that I'd do that—I might miss some delicious Flash stories!
I can see what you're attributing these new followers and that milestone to, but they very likely didn't come because of those EQG fics you're writing lately.
After all, your previous works speak much louder and much stronger, especially such epics like "Austraeoh" or "The End of Ponies", so these new followers read one of your masterpieces and that's why they decided to follow you.
Also, does this mean you are the author with the second-most followers now? I wonder who has the most..... But I bet you can reach that, too.
4998785 I followed because of the EqG fics.
As a writer myself, I find variety is important. Sometimes you just need to do something different. There's nothing wrong with different, it's just different.
Also: https://www.fimfiction.net/search/users?q=&s=followers
I'm kind of surprised it's Pen Stroke. I'm not let down by the fact since he's a good author but I wouldn't have guessed him.
:edit:
just noticed the tagged story, was that intentional or happy coincidence?
Gratz on breaking 6.5k viewers!
Glad to be part of the “in” crowd.
i.imgflip.com/2rg6fh.jpg
Congrats too though
4998788
No shit..... Say that again to the writer who responds to you right now, my friend.
But variety doesn't mean you have to write low-quality crap.But variety doesn't mean you have to climb down on the ladder that much, from big epics that tell a grand story to simple 5-Minute Smut. And neither does it mean that you HAVE to write about humans or EQG to get that variety. (Text improved with help by the ever composed and never rude MythrilMoth. Thanks, dude, I owe you one.)Ponies have enough variety. They are "just" a species, go wild with ideas about them, you can write everything about ponies, just like you can with humans. There are no limitations.
It feels like shit seeing skirts falling down like that, from writing such epics to writing smut..... I wish I could make him realize how sexy ponies are, then his smut fics would at least be about ponies, not humans and not EQG. And I really hope that it's just a phase he goes through right now. Skirtsian mid-life crisis or something like that.
Soon, he hopefully writes something that will show these new followers what REAL stories are again.
4998785
He's just joking, skirt's went down from 6,530 followers to less than 6,500.
4998817
Oh hey thanks for reminding me why I blocked you in the first place.
4998817
Whaaaaaat
I mean, okay I get this is your opinion and all
But youch that sounds...kinda fuckin' rude...
Maybe you sounded alot more rude than you meant to be.
Skirts deserves a break too.
4998851
"Rude" means nothing. It's just a word that I see always used when someone wants to express "Hey, dude, it's kind of the truth, I know, but don't say it anyway, will ya? I really, really don't like to hear the truth." Never use that word, it's a bad counter in a conversation and all you're doing if you use it is showing that the other side has a point. And it makes you look butthurt, not like you're calling someone out.
Other than that, I can hardly take you serious when you imply that a quick smut story is equally good as Skirts' usual stories that actually have substance. I'm not insulting him, I say he is writing below his niveau right now and that he can do better than that.
And I hope he will again. Because he CAN write so much better than that. That is why I said I hope that it's just a phase he's going through right now. A rebrand to become a smutfic writer (whether ponies or humans or anything else) would be a waste of his talent and skill.
4998835
Thanks for reminding me on it that I just talked like you do in your blog entries when you rant and bitch about shows/episodes/games you don't like for "entertainment" then. I should talk better than that.
4998904
No, I get it, skirts hasn't put as much sweat and tears into his smuts versus the big stories. Not saying you're wrong. I like his epics more too.
Just saying that if, say, skirts saw the comment, he might get the wrong message, if someone were to read your comment too fast, they might think you're calling him shit :/
And we all know that he ain't shit
He's pretty damn cool
I just think cool people are worth speaking politely to, even if it's constructive criticism
Sorry if I got on your nerves, I guess, it was just my opinion
4998817
I'm sorry, but . . .
This is an opinion. Moreover, it's a very rude opinion that no one asked for. If you can't offer criticism without berating the author for having written something you don't like, then don't say anything at all.
You don't get to decide this for everyone else.
No, no, no, there most certainly are. You are very narrow minded if you seriously believe this.
His writing ability doesn't suddenly diminish because he's now writing "smut." You just don't like the premise altogether. And, on top of that . . .
You selfishly admit this and more, as you obviously dislike EQG.
For Skirts' sake, I hope it never ends.
4998908
I didn't say nor imply he's shit. I criticize the genre he writes in right now, not him.
It's smut. It can sometimes be entertaining if it hits your fetish and you get to fap for a few minutes, but then it's over. That can never compete with a multi-chaptered epic with suspense, thrill and adventures. And not even with a compelling Slice of Life, one-shot, dramatic story.
Imagine Tolkien would have written about Frodo and Gandalf fucking their way through Middle Earth's big, busty women after defeating Sauron to celebrate the victory over him, after he finished writing LotR, then you are on the right page about where I'm coming from with this.
Even Skirts can't make that genre better than it is. And he has proven that he can achieve so many better things in this writing than fap material and crazy erotic humor. I hope he climbs up again, for my AND his sake.
It would be sad to see him fall like that.
4998817
Alas, some unfortunate souls are simply, inherently incapable of recognizing the truth of how sexy these horses are. Nevertheless, they may still be fine people, and should be treated as such and their disability accommodated as best us truth-seers can
the filthy bipedfuckers.4998911
You're not.
There aren't any. I once saw an author whose name I don't remember explaining why he wrote an EQG fic with "You can't really do this with ponies".
And that's wrong. You can make everything work with ponies, if your imagination allows for it. Only if your imagination is too narrow, you will run out of ideas how to realize something with ponies.
And you like the premise and that's the only reason why you're arguing here. You're not really making a point.
For mine AND his sake, I hope it does. I am okay with it if that's just a phase, writing some crazy stuff to get back into the habit of writing more again and to gain strength to tackle some real stories again afterwards, but I would hate seeing him doing this forever, seeing an author like him to crash down that much (see my comparison with Tolkien in the comment below).
Unlike you who just wants to read smut, Mr. Selfish, I actually care for it that Skirts doesn't sell him and his talent and skill short with those kinds of stories. He is capable of so much more than writing inspirations for five minutes of masturbating.
4998924
Alright, you know what? This is ridiculous.
I probably dislike smut and this new Skirts direction in writing more than most (including you). Hell, I won't even touch the [Romance] tag, let alone a [Porn] tag. It just ain't for me. I could very easily sit here and complain about it for quite some time, much like you are.
But you know what? I'm not Skirts.
At the end of the day, it's not about me. It's not about you. It's not about any of us. It's about Skirts. He was in a writing funk. He wasn't having fun anymore. Now? It looks like he's having fun again. He's writing because he wants to, not because he feels that he needs to.
And in a hobby like this, that's what matters. He's not getting paid for any of this. What's the point if he's not having a good time? So if this is what Skirts wants to do, this is what Skirts wants to do. Complaining about it all the time isn't going to accomplish anything productive.
4998933
Incorrect. The only reason anyone is arguing here is because Skirts liked the premise, and unless you happen to have him chained up in your basement then I don't see any reason why you all of a sudden get to dictate his life for him.
If you don't like it, then good. Leave. No one asked you to be the mighty defender of artistic integrity. You're not a hero. You claim to care for Skirts, but you don't give two shits about what he wants. If his writing makes him happy, then that's all that should ever matter. He's not "selling" his talent for anything. It's not his job, and you're not saving his career.
He's writing for him, not us, and most certainly not you.
It's also worth noting that earlier you said you'd be fine with him writing smut about ponies. So don't pull this "five minutes of masturbating" bullshit to try and save your pathetic sinking ship and redirect the selfishness onto others.
You pretend that there's no such thing as "rude" just to justify your own shitty attitude, but there's that weird self-appointed master of the universe outlook again. You don't get to decide that you're not being rude any more than you get to decide what other people write. You're not the king of your own universe, and you're not even doing a very good job of existing in other peoples'. You are being rude and declaring otherwise doesn't change that.
Good day, sir.
4998938
Maybe it is now. But let's see if it will still be as much fun for him when he realizes that he has fallen to a genre as low as that, from the epic writer he actually is. Such a realization wouldn't be good for him, probably even harder than pushing on with his epics.
But I rather hope that it doesn't even come that far and that he returns back to substance writing before that happens. I don't mind if he takes a break with stories like that, but I hope he can return to his usual writing before this becomes his new image as a writer.
4998952
Not exactly. What I expressed there was that I prefer smut about ponies over smut about humans. For Skirts specifically, I am hoping he returns to the epic stories he is known so much for.
Smut's not bad, but there are enough authors for this if you want it. Skirts is an author of a different caliber. I don't mind if that makes him happy right now, but I also hope that he comes back into form again with his writing after this phase of writing smutfics.
With his talent and skill, it's only justified if he doesn't hold himself back with simple stories like that forever. Plus, he wants that, too. He wouldn't even try writing "Austraeoh" anymore if he wouldn't want to keep going with it.
You're no one's hero with that comment.
4998933
I'm surprised I have to point this out to you. I was honestly waiting on you to finally connect the dots I was trying to line you up on.
I don't know what author you are referring to, but he's right. However, if you concede that there are limitless possibilities with ponies, on what planet are you able to tell me that EQG doesn't have just as much a limitless amount of possibilities? This proves, once again, you're selfish. This entire comment section has, unfortunately, been devoted to your pathetic cries for attention because your favorite author had stopped producing content you enjoy.
That's all this is.
So before you bold text narrow next time attempting to be coy, be sure to step out the echo chamber so you can here me better.
It's funny. 4998952, I actually haven't even read this story, so holy shit, this is just too rich. I haven't even read a unique fic in a while, actually. I usually only signed on for Ofolrodi, and I'm actually 125 chapters behind on that.
I'm here because of you, Fluttercheer. Let's make that clear now.
So, no, I'm not selfish. I'm the definition of selfless in this moment, not trying to brag, but I don't even read stories like that. I don't read porn involving this series. However, unlike you, I'm not so opposed to the fact Ofolrodi has been on hiatus for a while now and, because of, he's went a new direction with his writing pursuits. It's not rightly anyone's place to dictate what he does.
But my problem with you is you're not getting your point across whatsoever. If you're trying to be endearing, no one is receiving it that way. What you've been is inconsiderate and intolerant of his new writing. You've given the definition of a useless comment. You didn't even critique the story; you'll never read it. How can you even say it's all that bad?
Get over yourself. It'll make things easier for you down the road.
EDIT: You editing your original comment for clarity doesn't do you any good. You literally bring in a moot point. If both are limitless, then you're probably just whining.
4998904
I . . . can't believe you just typed all this. I don't know how I missed this comment.
You came into this comment section acting like you're better and more right than everyone here. I can't imagine what happened in your real life for you to act this way so normally, but you don't get to use that as an excuse to be a dick.
4998817 You seem to be under the misapprehension that you are owed something by the author—this is wrong. The only person a writer is beholden to is themselves. So they're not writing your particular brand of fiction at the moment? Suck it up.
4998985
Never said there aren't. I just pointed out the faulty justification of "You can't do this with ponies" for writing a fic with humans as characters rather than ponies. Things like this are only said by authors who lack the imagination to pull it off.
Shit happens. Whether or not one can get their point across does not always just depend on how they try to get it across. Sometimes, people who don't really bother reading (or just have a tendency to read into things) or people who outright refuse to see the point are a factor in it when a point doesn't come across.
Nothing really. Just my experience of years of being a prolific commenter on various, fandom-related subjects and the conclusion I could draw from that.
If people tell you "You're rude" even though you weren't actually rude, but just said something they don't like to hear (when you argue against a smutfic and people really like that smutfic, for example), then they will simply tell you that as a convenient argument, hoping that you shut up and stop saying what you think so they can blissfully move on from the conversation.
Happens to me, happens to others. Probably happens to everypony at some point. Portraying someone as the villain is a popular strategy by people to weasel themselves out of discussions while still appearing like they have the high ground when they run out of arguments to make their points.
4999001
It's still a pretty big step down for an author of Skirts' caliber. So I hope he will get back to his roots eventually and not do this forever.
4999024
You know, how hard is it to just say, "I wasn't being rude. You people just disagree with me and wish to shut me up; my opinion is the one people just don't want to admit to themselves is right, so they become defensive." Because all of this is just added fluff of the overall point.
You're probably not going to get it. You will probably blissfully move on from this conversation unphased by the words said here. I've had this "brickwall" vibe since the start of this conversation.
So it's whatever. I've said my piece. I'll let you continue to tarnish your reputation on your own time.
4999031
Your way of saying it, not mine. Plus, that's a thing people just don't understand (yet?), so it needs more words to explain it.
Farewell. You don't truly understand what my reputation is, though.
4999039
Oh, we all understand EXACTLY what your reputation is. Because your reputation is what you are crafting in continuing to fuel this needless argument with your rudeness, entitlement, and disparagement.
You are making a gargantuan ass of yourself. You are unapologetic in that asshattery. You continue to persist in a viewpoint that everyone else here has pointed out is based on flawed, self-centered thinking. Worse, you're just not getting it--your obnoxious pretense for "concern" about skirts' "career" as a writer is some of the most incredulous bullshit I've seen on this site.
Fanfiction is a hobby. It's a very personal, very explorative hobby.
Right now, Skirts feels like exploring something different in his writing than he's known for. Writers do that. Writers go through phases and moods and highs and lows and experiments. And you know what? There's nothing wrong with that. Whether you like what he's doing right now or not, he's enjoying doing it, and those of us who are on board with it are having fun right along with him. Hell, he's knocked ME out of a writer's block with his Flash stories and I'm enjoying riffing off his new line, so I'm damn grateful for this sheeit.
If you're not on board with it? That's fine, but guess what? There are nine hundred thousand other stories on this site for you to read, plus two whole other archives of fanfiction you could explore. There is literally no reason for you to sit in judgment of Skirts except that you have decided to be a dick.
You need to undecide that, or you're going to wind up a sitewide pariah PDQ.
4998811
Squints
I was really confused at first. I interpreted that graph you posted based on the bars, so I thought you had actually been LOSING followers, and this whole post was just being celebrating how you drove off the people who were unjustly pissy about your recent style of stories.
What the hell is going on in here?
*squelch*
I mean, uhm, congrats on your new position as chronicler of vore-ginas (?)
Meh. Hopefully the wheel will turn back again.