On the problems stopping my stories... · 6:28am Jul 20th, 2018
So, I got to thinking about my various stories today. Mostly, about why they're not progressing.
Yes, there will be spoilers be warned.
Yes, I'm going to be rambling a lot here. If you don't want to read it, nopony is forcing you to. Except Zeus (the Bolo from Iron Mountain, not the Greek god)... but he's fictional.
So, I figure I'll start with Iron Mountain. It's my first-ever story, and actually started decently, though fast-paced. The big baddie waited for 18 full chapters (Halfway decent) before dying when they Dropped a Bridge on Him in a Writer Cop-Out between chapters 18 and 19. This lasted hardly 1200 or so non-reflective words before the next arc kicked off with Zeus revealing himself to the Princesses- and punching their Berserk Buttons... to trigger a Noodle Incident involving a teapot that sent them to the moon. The Mane 6, of course, go to solve this problem- and only manage to telefrag Twilight's friends, including disabling Rarity's magic. The Princesses manage to get back on their own in a whopping 5 chapters (Way too short). After that, thanks to my (possibly continuing) inability to write peacefully engaging SoL, the entire story essentially devolves into exactly who Zeus alicorns and when, becoming more of a comedy- especially once he starts predicting new sundaes for Discord to enjoy. Seriously, a daisy and anvil sundae, with extra piano on top and drizzled with drums? How big was that thing?
Unfortunately, that's a turn I didn't like- and since I'm unwilling to unpublish & rewrite some 20 or so chapters (out of 41), Iron Mountain is likely never to be resumed... Feel free to vote on that here. If I get enough votes, I'll archive & share the current Gdoc while I work on that unpublish&rewrite in that and on FimFic; the main reason I don't like unpublishing (or modifying published material) is because it's (likely) disruptive to past readers.
Next on my list is Fire and Thunder. This was originally a rewrite of Iron Mountain; as a matter of fact, it still is- though it's more of a reimagining now. It's already gone through an unpublish-and-modify loop, with the old Gdoc archived & shared; unfortunately, the new version is stuck on the SoL moment when Lyra walks in on her own funeral. No, that's not a flat-out spoiler; enough hints were provided at the end of the published Chapter 11 to indicate to readers that's what was happening.
Third comes First Equestrian Armored: Elements of Harmony... The one where Discord turned the Elements into Bolos. The real Bolo was quickly dismissed as, basically, a tool to save them with. Then... Well, the entire story simply could have been done a million times better. This is probably the published story with which I am the least satisfied with. (That one I deleted doesn't even deserve mentioning). It's technically stuck on how difficult SoL is to write for Bolos, but I'm more likely never to work on it again. I'll probably rewrite it at some point, as a separate story (so, what Fire & Thunder was to Iron Mountain); we can be certain the rewrite will be better... and since I like painting Discord as a chaotic ally rather than destructive enemy, he won't be the one causing the problem. That episode with the swamp fever (and that awesome fic, Pandemic) has given me an idea, though.
Fourth, Crashland: Equestria. Probably the only published story I have that doesn't involve a Bolo, it instead involves a far more powerful (and non-self-aware) starship... with a (powerful) captain. It's stuck on how to work her proper introduction to Equestria- either as a human(oid) or as a (fake) pony.
Fifth, Mount Nightmare. It's my only planned story; it actually has an outline to follow. Unfortunately, it's stuck by the need for some decent SoL events before I hit the next plot point on the outline... I'm thinking that SoL should be something about Nightmare Moon's new kingdom, and I've heard suggestions related to Canterlot's nobles... but I can't seem to decide how!
Sixth, BIE: Beginnings. That's the one where Twilight and Bonbon found a Bolo personality center and started it up... but it's stuck on exactly what to do after they turn it on, successfully somehow. As it is, it wouldn't pass my current publication criteria- but I don't like un-publishing anything better than a disaster, so it's going to stay up there, on indefinite hiatus. I... doubt I'll be able to return to it, really ever. Other authors are welcome to continue it on their own.
Seventh, Flight to Nowhere, the collaboration work with my brother. It ended up taking a turn that neither of us liked; unfortunately, in order to fix that, we're basically going to have to rewrite the whole story. It won't be an in-place; Flight to Nowhere is effectively cancelled. Maybe I'll actually get around to marking it as such (and the other stories that qualify) at some point.
Eighth, Fortress Equestria. It's stuck on even the beginnings of the SoL sequence (of 3-4k+ words) that introduces Bolo-raised Twilight to Equestria proper, through Canterlot, Ponyville, or both, without meeting the ponies that would recognize her. Nor the one she would recognize. I'm willing to drop the last paragraph or two off the second published chapter; that's the part where she basically skimmed through Canterlot and headed for Ponyville, in search of Canterlot. Which seems a little OOC for both the official version AND the Bolo-raised version.
And finally, Denial for Equestria. While I feel I could have pulled this one off beautifully, I moved far too fast. The Big Baddie is already effectively defeated in the unpublished Chapter 6, and I still don't know what the Bolo's name is! It needed to come in far, far slower. I might rewrite it sometime, to that effect; unfortunately, it'll be a pretty thorough rewrite, removing the 'mystery ailment' from Equestria for the first several (dozen) chapters, until I'm ready for the Big Baddie to appear.
Now, that's only nine out of eleven published stories. However...
- An Alloyed Hope is a finished story, even if it stumbled (pretty badly) in the end.
- Secret Search is technically NOT stuck, it's just that my mind isn't on it right now.
Then there's the completely unpublished stories. I've got several of them:
- Two that will likely never progress anywhere near publishable size nor quality (RIP)
- A supposed sequel for Alloyed Hope; stuck on devising a storyline/strategy that won't end in three chapters
- A supposed rewrite for Flight to Nowhere (also a collab, same brother); stuck on the opening scenes, long before Equestria gets involved
- Another Bolo story, with another approach
- Another story, with NO massive war machines (Bolo, Crashland's starship, Flight to Nowhere's "shuttle" that hosed a city, etc...)
My focus has been on the last two of these for the last day or two. I really like what I've got so far of the new Bolo story, but I worry there aren't enough ponies just yet to fit within the site rules... Besides, I haven't developed it enough just yet to be satisfied for publication. As for the one with no such war machines... At the moment, it's an otherwise empty document with the general story idea jotted down underneath an empty table of contents. We'll see if it works out nearly as well as it did in my head while I was on duty at Lowe's today... Yesterday. It's already 2:30 AM.
Thoughts, suggestions, recommendations?
That's a whole lotta wrighters block
I do think you should drop the Editor's Nuke on Iron Mountain. I liked the idea, but if you DO rewrite, it I think it should be spaced out a bit further with more details on what's going on. I remember I had to try to intuit too many of the events, or ask in the comments (maybe it's me; I am also bad with remembering names and other small details...).
I liked the general idea, though. (I think that one had a mystery illness creature, right?) So perhaps that story should actually have a resolution/defeat of that thing (it's been to long to recall, but I think that was the guy that had the "Rocks Fall, Everypony Dies" GM's Surprise happen to him?). I similarly liked the moon part, but it did go too quickly. Perhaps it can be brought back, but with more going on.
The alicorn thing was fun, but I think that there should have been some sort of limiter on that. Not in that it can't be reproduced, but more that there's something they need all of them for, or to make it require more energy and thus not done often. Maybe as some sort of last-ditch medical treatment that has unexpected side effects that they finally replicate near the actual end of the story. (The idea is not to leave it un-replicatable by the end of the story, even if that does limit the on-screen usage prior)
The way it stood, it simply got too absurd/Monty Python-ish, and that's not a good thing to be the sole support of a story.
4904248
Yes, yes it is.
Perhaps your problems with slice of life stem from the fact that your bolos have little to anchor them to the mundane comings and goings of Equestria? Part of Nfire's legacy, which I assume you draw some measure of inspiration from, achieves its depth largely due to the connections Athena and Crusader have formed with the ponies. In fact, the formation of those bonds was the focus of the first part of the story. and then later parts have stemmed from those same bonds.
In contrast, Zeus never had any particularly deep bond with anyone. He acted more like an affectionately goofy grandfather dwelling on top of a mountain somewhere. He was a fun character, and I enjoyed his shenanigans immensely, but there was never anything that compelled a development of character from him. Those early chapters though, magnificent. That whole sequence with Fluttershy had me grinning like a loon, and that bit where she did a sonic rainboom... that was a thing worth seeing.
4910537
Absolutely.