Just a thing guys... · 6:40pm Jul 20th, 2017
Look, do me a favor, to all my followers and anyone who reads this:
Don't kill yourself today.
Please. I don't want you to kill yourself tomorrow either, but let's focus on now for just a moment. I'm not going to sit here and try to lecture you that life is worth living, that you're a worthwhile person, that you will be missed. I may believe these things, sure, and I'll happily tell you each and every one of these to your face. But right now, I'm just making that one, simple, straightforward request. Not today. Please, not today. You can wait a day, you can sleep on it, reassess your position tomorrow. It might look different then.
I don't want you to die at all. In every selfish way imaginable. I know that's not my call, but I don't want you to kill yourself. I could beg you all day not to do it, make demands, threaten you, but in the end I don't get to make that decision. You do. I can't actually do anything to stop you. I want to, but I can't. What I can do is ask. Please. Please not today, can you at least do that? It's a small request, just a plea for 24 more hours of your life. I may not mean much to you, I don't know, but I sincerely hope that you'll consider this. You can do it, you are strong enough for at least that. And then, maybe? After that? You'll find you can go another 24 hours. Or you'll find a helping hand extended, or a phone number you can call. I honestly don't know what tomorrow will bring you. But for now, it's just one, little, tiny day. That's all.
Don't. Kill. Yourself. Today.
Please.
-Pencil
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-8255
Don't tell me what to do MOM!
RIP Chester Bennington
And to you Anonpencil, you are valued. I love reading some of the stories you put out and the work you put in with the Barcast really makes a difference. The GHIE and Barcasts keep me going as a writer and as a streamer. I am jealous that you can help actual horses and proud that my involvement has helped horses.
You are amazing and you make people happy. Maybe a little nauseous with some stories but happy all the same.
Yes sir!
Yeah. Wait for the Barcast, where it's an option
In a hypothetical where I went against your recommendation, I doubt you'd ever find out--or if you did, it would be quite a long time before word got back to you about it. I doubt it would really impact the day-to-day goings-on of people on this site.
... I'm not at all interested in committing suicide, though. If I was, I'd have already done it.
I quite value my own life and intend to live it until someone or something frags me.
The only reason I haven't is because if I do, at least 8 people will kill themselves a result of that.
I need to stop making suicidal friends and start carrying them through life while being basically their only reason to keep living.
But I'm not.
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Well, for what little it's worth, I'm glad you haven't yet.
Not really sure where this came from. What's going on over
there?
I tried so hard
And got so far
But in the end
It doesn't even matter
I had to fall
To lose it all
But in the end
It doesn't even matter
Despite my massive health issues, I'm too damn stubborn to quit. That and despite being 31 years old, I know my 59 year old Irish/Scottish mother will literally beat my corpse back to life, just so she could kill me herself.
R.I.P Chester
Well darn, if you insist I guess I will suck it up and face life...
Umm sure. It's not really my style to check out early. And I know at least one person who would follow me out... I know they would because they tried when they thought I did.
Eventually, those 24 hours turn into week, month, even years.
Don't worry, I'm not about to let life beat me.
I told myself when I was going through my angsty teenage years that suicide was the easy way out. That you'd never catch me doing that, and it's helped me through some bad times. I also enjoyed the suicide prevention thing in the army, the phrase they used. "Suicide is a Permanent solution to a Temporary problem. Even medical issues could be fixed in the future.
Just think of all the things that get posted on this site in a single day. People are constantly making things, writing things, drawing things, studying things, thousands of them all over the world. Every day there exists something that wasn't around yesterday.
Pain and loneliness is a part of life, as sad as it is. If you didn't know loneliness, would you ever realize the importance of friends?
*hugs tight* I promise.
I was confused at first, until I clicked on the Chester Bennington hashtag.
Damn, that blows.
Even with all the stresses in my life with college, my health, and my family falling apart, I have too much to quit now. Life has only begun for me and there's no way in hell I can just give up now when I have yet to do anything that I want to. By killing myself, all I do is cement myself as never having done anything.
I can't anyway, I'm already dead inside.
#edgy #emo4life #fuckyoumumidowhatiwant #makehimfree
why is suicide so big a deal for you? this is not the first time you posted about suicide
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Some help for pencil. Listen to this, it will make you feel better. Even better if you watch it too.
https://m.4607958
Linkin Park's lead singer killed himself yesterday. I've lost friends to suicide. It always hits home.
4607958 some people have lost those close to them, so hearing another celeb doing the same is especially painful. It opens old wounds in some cases or just reminds them that people still lose loved ones to such things.
I'm blessed to come from a pretty religious family(even the extended, from grandparents to some of my cousins) so it's not hit me that close, but I had someone I knew in AIT commit suicide when we were at our first duty station, or at least that was the general idea. They never said one way or another, just that he OD'd. All things considered, a lot of us wondered if it was suicide and nobody(leadership) was saying it.
Yes, wait for tomorrow, when it's more convenient for one unrelated individual, then off yourself. What a tactless blog post!
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Ass.
While tempting at times, I fear what might come after too much. I don't believe death to be the ultimate end.
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As someone who has... dealt with these feelings before, sometimes one day is all you can look for. Just the next one. Then, once you wake up, it feels... a little better. And a few more days doesn't seem so rough or so hard, but that one day is the stumbling block you have to get past. It's not the same for everyone, I know that, and, as I said, I can't really do anything to stop someone. I just remember that, at times, looking only until tomorrow helped me. That I had to encourage myself to wait just one more day. Just one more. Then after that, just one more day.
It may not make sense to you. And this might not be how a lot of other people see this. And that's okay.
I just remember that... I could have used someone telling me "just wait until tomorrow, please." because... it was very hard to do it myself at times. That's all.
And I am sorry if that was not more clear.
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Now today there might be a few suicide notes left on fimfic saying "Wasn't sure til now, but anonpencil said it was OK to off myself today so..."
There are a thousand ways you could of said this blog better, but no, you worded it just right that someone in deep depression looking for that last reason to give up could use this as that final step, you are insensitive, you and the whole barcast with your stupid gamer dick motto of "Death is always an option." GROWUP!!
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I reworded some of this to make my intent more clear, and have added a phone number for a support line at the bottom. I should have done that before this morning. And that's something I do feel bad about. I hope others took my intended meaning from this, and I'm happy to have been contacted by someone saying that the blog actually helped them. That was always my full intent here.
As to the rest of what you have to say, you are welcome to your opinion of me, my words, and what I do with my time. I'm not going to get on your case about any of that. But no matter how you feel, I do honestly wish you a good day and rest of your weekend.