Handyman Can't Draw V - Cruisin' for a Bruisin' · 10:47pm Jul 4th, 2016
Hey all, I know still nothing for you, I guess I'll come clean and keep it short.
For the past six months I have been putting up with a very bad case of depression that, at least according to a friend bordered on a kind of psychosis. Long story short, extreme lethargy, apathy, ennui, self loathing, intense paranoia, sleep deprivation and at least one occasion I legitimately thought I was losing my mind and I feared I didn't know who I was. I had gone to the doctor and tried antidepressants, which in my case was tantamount to 'giving in', I had dealt with depression on and off since I was 14 and all that time I'd be damned if I'd pop pills to deal with what is in my mind, psychological fuckery. In the end all the pills did was give me some delightfully extreme symptoms that fucked me over for weeks on end but did not seem to alleviate anything and all we learned is that I apparently have a sensitivity to them. Yippee.
I am ordinarily an intensely private individual so, saying anything about whats going on with anyone else is kind of anathema to me. If anything I started cracking up around October if I was to guess, although to be honest pretty much all of 2015 was a downward slide, I don't know, I guess the pressures of life was just getting to me in a big way, and it legitimately interfered with my Job. To such a point where I lost it back in January and haven't managed to get anything similar in all this time. I didn't want to say anything because the idea of being another creator on the internet making his problems his fans' problem disgusts me, but around the time I lost my job everything just crashed and I have been fucked over since. Now at the current point in time, my daily routine when not doing neccessary-for-living shit or looking for a job is get up, waste hours playing minecraft because its a mindless repetitive timesink, while listening to audiobooks of the Dresden files. It isnt fun, I should be enjoying Dresden Files but I cant really and its not the quality of the writing or voice acting (both of which are fucking fantastic), and do so because it gives me a reason to stay out of bed during the day. I go to the cinema but can't really enjoy anything I watch, even if I know a movie or good or bad on an intellectual level. I am literally reading a novel right now which can be best summed up as 'Space Pirates go to Hell, also Wizards' and I cant bring myself to enjoy it nor read old books I enjoyed in the past, music doesn't make me feel anything
If that sounds depressing as fuck to you, that's because it is and has been my daily reality forever now.
I have actually gone through my issues, talked about them with a friend I really trust and I have most of that sorted out, but all I am left with is just my irrational fears, paranoia and depression about my state of life, so it was kind of like getting rid of the toxic waste and still being left with a wasteland anyway. I'll get better eventually with the help of God, I am sure, but this has been the underlying reason why you have all received less and less productivity from me over the longest time. I want to write, hell I want to do anything I used to love to do, I just cant bring myself to do anything for any reason that is actually worth a damn. Its not writer's block, that's just a consequence of everything else.
That said, I'll try to get this chapter done this week, its the last of the Resting arc, so I'll try to squeeze it out but I cannot guarantee quality on it. And on top of that, I managed to get some pictures drawn, trying to power through my depressive period by forcing myself to focus on drawing in order to clear my head. Not sure how much good it did but hey, I got shit done, yay.
Click the images for a bigger size
Here we have Quentyn from Tales of the Questor, a webcomic I am currently reading.
And to have something vaguely Bad Mondays related, have a character that has yet to appear in the story yet.
Alternate images underneath the first.
![[Unicorn]](https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/u/6541822/1%20qNot%20every%20ending%20is%20happy%20unicorn.png){kind=link}
![[Pegasi]](https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/u/6541822/1%20qNot%20every%20ending%20is%20happy%20pegasi.png){kind=link}
Time to start drawing horse pron for the money!
not for pounds sterling tho lol
4068027 Still dont regret that vote.
electomatic.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/03/brexit-satire.jpg
This may seem like an odd wuestion, but have you seen anoune lately, or are currently? Like romantic wise? Ive kinda been there, althought not to that extreem, and having someone with you that eay really helps. Somoeone you can talk to, trust, abd know they they are there because they like you for who you are.
Im no phyciatrist, but give romance a shot. I think it might really help you.
And if you need to take some time off the story for any reason, by all means, go ahead. I like your horse words, but your health, physical and mental, are far more important.
I hope you get better soon buddy
This
I hope you will get better soon but in the meantime I would apreciate if you would be so good and give me the title of this 'Space pirate' novel of yours, (it seems that we may have very similar taste so maybe try to read 'Salvage' on HFY, (humanity fuck yeah).)
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"Isn’t it funny? When I came here 17 years ago and I said that I wanted to lead a campaign go get Britain out of the European Union, you all laughed at me. Well, I have to say, you’re not laughing now, are you?"
puu.sh/pQtNK/a1cb2750de.jpg
Also, nice drawings.
Ouch, that sucks, and it especially sucks that those drugs didn't work for you. Still, you should still have other options so I would say to keep working with your doctor and your friends and you'll pull through this shit sooner or later.
Also, I think your drawing has gotten better with time and practice so you can at least feel good about that.
Your drawing has been improving, it's your palette choices that need work.
But that's fixable.
Also congratulations on being the one to take the bullet and pick the FILTHY FUCKING ELVES. JBL pick a nation and vote on summod already.
4068069 Nethereal, Soul Cycle Book 1 by Brian Niemeier.
Ok I'm not going to say i know everything, but i know a couple things about drugs. pharmaceutical drugs of course.
It can take years to find the right drug for you, you can't just give up looking after one that didn't work or even one with awful side effects.
And if its about that you think of it like 'giving in', so what? Are you not as strong for not fighting whatever your going through on your own?
I'm pretty sure fighting with help to more easily overcome something is preferable to fighting on your own and only barely staving off defeat.
I know what depression feels like, having experienced it myself when I was 14-15. The biggest problem really was that I hate whining with a passion and didn't say a thing for almost a year, faking happiness around my familiy, until when I said that I wanted to be dead, the thing is, it turns out the depression stemmed from a physical problem that could have been addressed far sooner if I just said something. Point is, as much as I hate whining and prefer to keep my problem to myself, sometimes you should tell somebody. I'm assuming you already have told your family, but on the offchance you didn't, you probably should. I know having my family's support helped me immensly.
Well, I guess you're the Irish version of me now.
The best I can tell, being a normalfag is one of the only ways around depression these days. Doing shit and making friends is really helpful, but the hardest part is doing. As I've found through working through my own problems with depression is to just go and do. Every task seems daunting and the more you put anything off, the harder it is to bring yourself to do it.
But what you'll find is that actually doing is easy if you try. Things that hang over you as this cloud of dred turn out to only take a little time and a little effort.
While everyone is different, I recommend this. It's been helping me with my depression and dysfunction, even if I'm not magically cured, I can almost see a way out.
Fuck, I'm a horible motivator.
Nice to see you utilizing wheel locks. Some previous descriptions of the firearms in your story as arquebuses had me believe they all still used matchlocks. I really like the drawings, it makes sense to have the armor on the back of the hind legs, instead of the front like we've seen before on the show.
Is there any way i can [redacted]?
Experiments [redacted] experienced ideal results. Impermanent, but enough of a [redacted] to matter.
Between risking jailtime no more Bad Mondays, i pick risking jailtime.
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Pls link tutorial how?
4068325 Dude, I may not be qualified as a Lawyer yet but I have studied enough that you may want to reword your comment and I advise you not to offer drugs to others in the future. I thank you for your concern but don't do it man.
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Quote edited.
Bit of a time delayed realization-
TotQ updated?!?!!
Be gay.
Worked for me.
This is a joke for those of you who didn't get it.
I don't know how much this will really mean to you, given I'm just some random guy half the world away, but here goes...
For several years during her high school years my little sister suffered greatly from depression, I watched her transform from the most bubbly and happy-go-lucky individual into a quiet and sensitive girl, afraid to voice her opinions and feelings. As her brother it was a terrible thing to watch, like a train wreck in slow motion. It was only through a concerted effort that my family and her friends dragged her from the depths of her depression, through unconditional love and constant kindness. We had to support her and show her that she was never, and would never, be alone or unloved. It took time, and it was not without challenge, but it was certainly worth it in the long run.
Certainly though, as hard as it may be, sharing your burden with those that care for you is critical, Galatians 6:2. It's great that you have opened up to your friend, do not fear becoming a burden, because if they truly care for you then that is a burden they will happily bear. I can't comment with great clarity on your personal situation, but if you feel there are people or things that are roadblocks to your recovery, then remove them from your path.
Stay strong in faith, and remember that you are never truly alone, Deuteronomy 31:8.
Keep that chapter chained to the wall for a month if you have to; quality is more important than speedy release. Get with your mates and do something fun, really sink your teeth into the Dresden FIles, anything you can to repopulate that wasteland you've got. Watch Parliament lose their shit if you've gotta. Take all the time you need and then some to find something you love and want, and then dedicate yourself to that thing. I can't count the number of times I've told someone this, both from a keyboard and face-to-face, but what you need is time and love. Love can be found in many ways: family, friends, activities, and so on. If you can't find something that you enjoy that you used to, then look for something new and fresh. Break your funk, try new avenues and keep going. Get some friends to do these things with you, real buds that will stick around no matter what, and create a web of safety and happiness. I'm not exactly a spiritual fellow, in fact I am far from it, but if prayer and community does help you, then go for it. Godspeed to you, Handy.
Remember, chill with the chapter and focus on you. We horsefuckers can be patient enough, and if someone complains they can go fuck themselves. We'll handle 'em.
Peace out, Handyman.
P.S.– Try reading Creatures of Light and Darkness, you may enjoy it!
Eh, good luck. Can't really say anything more than that.
Everyone here is making really deep personal remarks on depression and how to combat it or making snarky jokes to lighten the mood.
And I'm just over here with my shitty 'get well soon' card.
...Fuck.
I feel like there is a
lotbit of self diagnosing going on there, which, if true, makes just about the entire text wall a huge douche excuse. If you sincerely believe there is a problem and you aren't just giving into mankind's inherent laziness, you should seek professional help. If you are too lethargic to do more than consider it for a moment then forget about it and go back to the recursive 'woe is me' loop, then you simply need to stop moping the fuck about and write more. But don't be confused by my wording. When I say simply, I know there is going to be a monumental effort required. Actually using your own willpower looks like it will be draining as hell. Fortunately, once you 'just do it' the illusion is shattered, and quickly forgotten.So either seek help, or shut up and nut up.
And there I go typing all the things that come to my head with the exception of the Misery reference joke...
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If it's a depression loop that's psychological in source that may be doable, but if the first iteration was biochemical in source then that's not possible without physical outside intervention.
A biochemically sourced depression strips you of agency by a malfunction in the operation of key neurotransmitters used in the creation of executive functions.
What's the healthcare system like in Ireland? Can one give a friend medical authority over one's own self?
You're more important than the story. Please take care of yourself.
You shit.
4069165 Shocks is my spirit animal.
...Fuck.
4068088 thanks I will read it for sure.
Thos art are exstremly well made and that's an bumer that you have deppreson problem you are an werry unequal person that doing his best in what you like to do keep upp whit you good story and don't dubt your shelf cause you should not feer what you don't know but know this we just hoppe you well and that you getting back in shape.
4069165 You and me both man.
Actually that wasnt bad
if I was still a furre I would say you were in the $20-$30 price-range for your current skill-level, with a possibility of bumping up to $30-$40 in due time, not including the $10 background fee
Well, I can't think of anything to say that hasn't already been said further down the comment section. That's what I get for being late.
Unrelated question: why are you using Vexxarr as an avatar?
Well, I can't pretend like I know what you're going through, but I'll be praying for you nonetheless. It sounds like you've got some people you can talk to, but if you ever need someone else, shhot ne a pm and I'll send you my email. Can't use skype right now (long story), though.
4069165 Oh, can I sign it? I've got one of those fancy dip pens! Okay, so it's not very fancy, but it is a dip pen, and the nib has a cross, so that's something.
I was thinking about writing something deep , but it seems that everyone else has me covered on that front so instead I'll just say this:
Slàinte mhor a h-uile là a chi 's nach fhaic
4069165
At least you remembered the card, I'll I've got are some pretty words
Beannachd leibh.
Let me add to the pile with something that helped me.
Get your blood tested. I dunno how much sun you see or milk you drink, but a vitamin D deficiency can result in some pretty extreme lethargy, appetite loss, and just very intense depression all around. I really don't suggest stuffing supplements down your throat without being reasonably sure it's the cause of your problem, of course, but it's apparently a fairly common issue and one that is quite treatable for very little cost. Getting it fixed kept me from my plans to just lay in bed for a week and 'expire' once my kidneys gave out, which was a state I'd reached after well over a year of forcing myself to exist.
Best advice I've got, and best wishes regardless of whether that fixes things. Hopefully I worded all that properly.
I just stumbled across this again and I've thought of something to say. I really like how you didn't break the ponies legs to make it easier to draw. Also are you familiar with the trick of flipping an image while you are drawing it?
And here i come, late as usual
i hope you can retake control of your life and pull yourself out of this fugue state you've found yourself in
and not just because it would speed up your writing : ^)
in all seriousness though, I know that depression is hard to deal with, and wouldn't wish it on anyone. but you can overcome it, I know you can.
You missed the most important version of the character: this one...
I regret nothing...
Now I wish I saw these when they were posted instead of just looking at broken links lol
Your drawings on your "Handyman can't draw" blogs are broken.