Hap Recommends Even More Scribblefest #5 · 7:54pm Mar 10th, 2016
Back for round five. Lets see what this latest batch has to offer! We've got a bit more slice of life again (which is absolutely no problem for me: just leaves the Dash award even more open for Weatherpony, if you ask me!) but the theme that dominates this round is actually mystery, which I wasn't expecting.
If you've not already checked out some of the other blogs I've done like this, you can check them out here:
Time to get started!
There's some good stuff in this story, particularly if you like themes about parenthood, alicorn vs non-alicorn, and any available story you can get about Flurry Heart before the show tells you she's actually a demon monster from the pits and those wings of hers are as fake as I-can't-believe-it's-not-bacon. For me, though, it felt like the rather old idea of characters feeling inferior to alicorns but with a coat of Flurry Heart paint, which is a shame, because Shining is pretty likeable, as are a few of the other characters.
The story is about Shining Armour feeling inadequate(as the title might suggest, if you were paying attention). He goes from pony to pony for advice, starting with one of his soldiers (who is unequipped to help at all, really), Twilight, Night Light (also the High Light of the story in my opinion) and finally Cadence. My problem was that about halfway through I felt like the actual problem Shining was going through was adressed (by Twilight) and then Shining just kept feeling wonky just 'cause. He says a lot of the same things throughout like 'I love Cadence' (which, if this wasn't a canon pairing, would be pretty tell-y) and doesn't seem to make any progress throughout the story, which made me feel like I wasn't getting anywhere by reading at times.
Additionally, I've never really liked the whole 'alicorn-immortality vs non-immortality' problem, as it seems to be the first thing anyone thinks of when an immortal character gets introduced. Twilight has had loads of those stories, so has Celestia, Luna, and a few for Cadence too. More irritatingly, I didn't feel like Twilight's speech was all that helpful, as it pretty much just made all the immortal alicorns less impressive but left Shining Armour in pretty much the same situation. It would be like telling someone who's worried they're not pretty that actually, everyone else is ugly.
Night Light had the most relatable and, for me, interesting part of the story since he side-steps the alicorn issue entirely and cuts directly to parenthood. Whilst I do feel like I've seen a lot of their conversation before across TV and other media, it was easier to swallow than the usual 'I'm not immortal but my wife is' problem that began to grate on my nerves a little simply because I felt like I heard it all before and that it was getting drummed into me.
The ending is rather strong, though, and I thought put Shining in quite a good light as someone willing to do his best, which is very nice. The writing is also quite strong and if you're a guy out for good grammar this should be pretty easy on the eyes, although the switches between locations can get a bit jarring if you're not paying attention.
Recommended to: fans of Shining Armour and people who are interested in alicorn immortality and how that affects others. I, personally, am not, because it's a really, really old concept I've seen approached a lot of times, but if you like it, go for it: this story will provide. And of course, if you're a fan of Flurry Heart (not sure how, though, since we've not seen much of her yet) then this is also a nice story to read. If you've already read a lot of immortal alicorn conflict stories, you might get a bit bored by it, though.
The Missing Castle, by chillbook1
I picked this one out simply because I loved the idea of the princesses losing their castles. I mean, that's pretty fun. I was looking forwards to this one, and whilst it was certainly nice and had me smiling, it did feel a bit milder than I anticipated. There was neither a big adventure or outrageous comedy that I would have assumed would go hand in hand with a premise like that.
I liked the beginning and middle more than the end, which was a bit of a let-down and less imaginative than I'd have liked. Still, the reactions of all the different princesses to the mystery of the missing castles was entertaining, even if it missed the 'laugh out loud' mark for me (it should be noted, however, that laughing does not come easy to me). I particularly liked Twilight, for some reason.
The writing was, at times, a bit stilted and fast paced, but nothing that will really get in the way of you enjoying this if you've got pretty adequate expectations. Sometimes the writing was even quite colourful, especially near the beginning, and always just a bit couched in snark and humour. It worked for me, at least.
Although I feel the premise kinda promised more than what I got, I still managed to find it in me to have fun with this one.
Recommended to: people who like strange mysteries and all the alicorns together. The characters playing off one another is one of the highlights of the story, so if you like the princesses and a bit of a funny mystery, I think you'll get strong mileage out of this story. The ending is a bit disappointing for me, but it's still entertaining, quippy, and light-hearted. You might have to be a bit forgiving if your standards are through the roof, but for me, this was just right.
Creatura Somnii, but Leo Skogkatt
This one comes recommended by The Hat Man, who was the author of Marble's Horizon. I was interested to see what this story had to offer.
Essentially, it's a conspiracy! Not a bad conspiracy, either, as conspiracy's go. I did have my issues with it (as you've probably noticed, I have at least one issue for about everything under the sun) but it's creative and does make you wonder whether it could be true or not. It also has a significant level of historical headcanon to it, so if you were interested by some of the others I suggested for similar reasons, this one should fit in just fine in your 'to read' list.
The setup is a bit brusque, but not overly so, all things considered. The writing does get a bit stilted here and there, but not so much I found it difficult to read. The one thing that got me was sometimes when the story jumps between past and present, which sometimes got a bit too choppy for me.
Since I can't really discuss some of the problems I had with the story without heavy spoilerage, I'll just say that it's got enough thought to tickle your curiosity, but does also rely on the odd trope and cliché to tell itself, and whilst there's a fair amount of creativity near the middle, the end is a bit of a let-down. If you're in the mood for some interesting ideas, though, this will still provide.
Now, the following is mostly spoilers, so it's been blocked out. You can look if you desperately want to, though.
What I liked best were the parts that explained how Celestia went from A to B. Ideas like Discord being a snake were really quite entertaining, and is in fact my absolute favourite idea in this story, random though it might seem. The idea that Luna stemmed from dreams is also really nice. What happened with those ideas was a bit disappointing, though, and it returned to the old 'Celestia is devious and a bit malicious' trope which I saw coming a mile away. The end was similarly hollow, as nothing really felt gained at the end.
Recommended to: people who like conspiracy theories. There isn't much to the story outside of the conspiracy theory, which is admittedly a rather nice one. However, at the end of the story, there isn't much progress that was made and everything more or less returns to the way it was, so it feels like not much was actually done with the idea. This might be a turn-off for a few of you, but if you're still interested in seeing some creative ideas that don't take too long to read, I'd still give this one a shot if you have time.
That's all for now. Additionally, the complete list of stories is now up, and it turns out there are 40 entries. You can see them all on the EFNW group. It also feels nice to have, as of now, reviewed well over 1/4 of the stories that were submitted, which I think is a pretty nice fraction.
TTFN!
are you going to do more?
3801566 I want to do at least six. You might have noticed at the beginning of each blog there's a picture of one of the mane cast reading? I want to at least get through all of them, which should leave me at 18.
What I was going to do after that was only read stories that were recommended to me by others or authors, probably, since next week is likely going to be pretty busy for me.
3801567
ok
Only Twilight left to go, then.
I'm sorry I couldn't make the story more interesting; I think it's a combination of being written over the course of a day, and the fact that I'm a sucker for what a lot of people consider is a tired cliché in this fandom.
I really do love the idea of alicorn immortality, and I never see it done with Cadance, so I wanted to give it a spin in addition to venting some of my own feelings about fatherhood (despite not being a father myself, I have an unreasonable amount of anxiety related to it). I guess it affected the quality of the plot without me realizing it.
Thank you for the review, though, it's highly appreciated.
3801725 I much preferred the parts that did, in fact, relate strongly to fatherhood, such as the bits with Night Light and the end (which I maintain I rather liked). It's hard not to find that aspect of the story relatable considering that I am, as it turns out, a man, and parenthood becomes a concern after the age of, what, 20?
I think a big problem with me and tired cliches is that I have to sit through listening about a lot of ideas on TWG and elsewhere, so the vast majority of straightforward or common ideas recurrently come up and get drilled into my head a fair bit. That was actually part of what got me into writing: I had my fill of very same-y ideas on the AppleDash group and got myself convinced I could do better.
Whilst my first attempt left a lot to be desired, that's how I got here.
I did another couple reviews here. You actually beat me to reviewing Leo's story, but I did another one I don't think you've touched yet. Though that might be for the best.
3801739 Well, I'm glad you were able to enjoy part of it, at least.