Hap Recommends Scribblefest Entries #1 · 6:57pm Mar 8th, 2016
Since I very rarely actually take any time to read things outside of TGB stuff, I always like doing brief reviews and/or recommendations of other stories that appear in contests, particularly the EFNW contests, since they often have nice convenient word limits I can easily digest. So, that's what I'll be doing now: taking a look at some of the contest entries and giving a few thoughts on them, as well try and recommend them to anyone who might be interested. So, let's dive right in! See below for some of my thoughts on the first three entries I read.
Pegasus is a story about Rainbow Dash, from the Equestria Girls universe, taking a plane. She sits next to a stranger and begins thinking about what it would be like to be a pegasus.
What I liked about this story was the concept of getting Rainbow Dash in a plane and thinking about the limitations of flying. We get to see her think quite a bit, and it's an interesting look at what a human Rainbow thinks of something her pony counterpart could scarcely live without.
The story was very pleasant to read as well, with enough attention to little details that spice up the reading experience for the very act of reading to be enjoyable. I was, however, a bit bored with how the story developed. In the end, Rainbow doesn't learn much so it felt a bit hollow when I got to the end, like it was just a bit of introspection for introspection's sake. Additionally, there were times when I thought Rainbow didn't really sound like herself. It was as if the story made her a bit too melancholic at times, which doesn't really strike me as very Rainbow-ish. That said, it wasn't a particularly grating problem for me.
Recommended to: Anyone who likes short character introspections. You won't get much actual story out of Pegasus, which is a shame, but where I feel its strength lies is in getting you to think a bit about what it'd be like to be a pegasus yourself, so if you're in the mood for a quiet, mild bit of 'what if', I think this story will suit you well for five minutes.
Mockingbird is a story about the CMC encountering a human living in the Everfree forest. This human also plays music, and has a bit of a mystic vibe to him. He's quite a mysterious fellow and the story doesn't elaborate much about where he comes from or what he does, which is both interesting and a bit irritating.
The story plays with tropes and cliches a bit when the CMC get lost in the Everfree and of course, run into a monster. Like the good human that he is, the hermit manages to knock the beast out.
I'm not entirely sure what to think of this story, to be honest. On one hand, I appreciated the mystery and the rather mystical human that can talk to trees (almost like a mish-mash of druid and bard) but on the other hand, it was a bit predictable and there were errors and really odd spacing throughout the story. Additionally, this isn't the sort of story that will really provide any answers, and much like the last one, there isn't a very concrete story to it. At the end, the characters (especially the CMC) feel like they're exactly where they started, and didn't learn much. There was a brief conflict halfway through, but it was momentary and not much to be invested in.
The story also irritatingly includes songs in links in the story, which I've never been a fan of. I never clicked them once, so it just ended up being a few words that were green and underlined, which didn't feel necessary.
The same things that might make the story seem charming are also sources of irritation. There's not much rhyme or reason to what happens in the story. Even so, I can imagine it at least grabbing a few reader's interest, even if I wasn't particularly taken with it.
Recommended to: anyone who doesn't mind not being given any answers/people willing to put up with small flaws and inconsistencies. It's not a harmful story, and readable, but to properly enjoy it I think you'd need a bit more tolerance than you would for some of the others here. The story kind of lets you decide what you want to take away from it, which might also not suit everyone. I'd recommend giving a try and seeing for yourself, though, as it's not so long that the investment in time will really be an issue.
Marble's Horizon, by The Hat Man
Marble's Horizon is my most recommended story today, which probably stems from the fact that out of the three I've read so far, it's the only one to feature a proper 'story', where the protagonist learns and evolves in a very concrete manner. There's consistent conflict and challenges for Marble to overcome, which means it was pretty easy for me to get invested in without trying too hard.
Marble's Horizon is about Marble mustering the courage to leave her home and explore the world a bit. The story goes into first person and in my opinion, used it very well, giving me what I think is a very strong depiction of Marble (who's quite the shy pony). It also details her everyday life rather nicely and pleasantly, with no mechanical flaws little old me could pick up on (although admittedly, I wasn't trying).
Marble's conflict stems from her character, which I really liked. It was about her overcoming her shyness and getting what she wanted, but properly got me to understand why this was difficult for her, instead of just hoping I'd relate to her being shy and timid. Marble's Horizon is a very strong slice of life story, although admittedly there was one split second near the middle where I found it a tad tedious (likely because there's so much observing everyday chores I can do without getting a little bored). Thankfully, the story quickly picked up again. Of course, anyone hoping for a bit of adventure will likely be disappointed by this one.
Recommended to: Anyone with a penchant for slice of life stories, strong looks into character's heads, relatable conflicts, and a bit of nice first person. Admittedly, if you're only into adventure, there's not much for you here, but I'd feel very comfortable recommending this to absolutely anyone who just likes slice of life stories: it's easy to get invested in and easy to enjoy.
That's all I've got so far. If you have any other entries into Scribblefest, please post links in the comments below, as I've currently run out. Eventually, EFNW will post a list of all the entries, but until then, I'm on my own. And of course, do check out the stories above if they look interesting to you.
You might also be wondering why I'm not scoring the stories or giving a simple 'yes/no' recommendation. This is because I'd much rather suggest stories in a way that gets people who would likely enjoy them to read them, not just everyone or no-one. And I've never liked scoring stories. I wouldn't know what a 7/10 for characterization would look like. I've been trying to keep these rather short, since I don't want to bore people with very detailed dissections, but I hope I can give you a general look at what I enjoyed as well as my overall impression.
That's it! I'm out.
That Stein gif is an awesome outro.
3797828 He may be nuts, but he knows how to make an exit!
3797829
Don't forget about the bolt! Or the stitches.
3797838 I guess you could say that seeing Stein try to bolt towards the exit...
left you in stitches?
3797842
Howdy, Hap! Looks like you beat me to the punch; I was going to do a review of your story alongside two others, but I was just a bit too slow on the draw. Right now I've got yours, the one by Apple Bottoms, and I think Lise Eclair has one.
But still, I'm absolutely thrilled you liked my little tale. It was a very refreshing piece to write and it just came together very quickly. It's also a departure from what I usually do; first person present tense is not my usual style, as I prefer third-person past, but I'm glad it turned out well. You may expect a similarly positive review of yours, and I hope it does well in the contest. (Gunning for that Rainbow Dash award, aren't ya?
)
3798441 Well, if I'm going to be going for an award, it might as well being the award that's all about being radical and awesome, right? I'm not even sure why there are other awards when there's a Dash award sitting right there.
I'm actually going to be doing another three tomorrow. I've got Apple Bottom's one (which I thought was decent, but a bit all over the place), this one by BlazzingInferno called Idols, and Mind's Eyes Growing Pains (which was pretty nice).
I think I'm tied between liking yours or Growing Pains the most for the moment, but I think in terms of memorability you still come out on top for now.
Thank you very much for the mini-review! Contest or not, I'm glad you found 'Pegasus' to be enjoyable.
Also, I want to say that I really love your habit of ending reviews with the "recommended to" bit. It's far more useful to me as a reader than scores of rankings. :)
Cheers!
GMP
3800859 I'm glad the 'recommended to' is working out. I never really trusted scores. Like I said, I wouldn't know what an 8/10 for story would look like. What's the difference between an 8 and a 9 for character?
Scores confuse me. I'd much rather waste a few word writing a sentence instead, I guess.