They're still right · 7:15pm Nov 1st, 2015
LightningSword
Self-victimizing twit who constantly blames others for his own misdeeds and shortcomings. Tends to flip out when he believes he is being "attacked."
Nothing's changed. I still don't deserve to live. I vent, and I'm treated like a criminal because of the words I used. I vent, and I'm accused of attention whoring. I vent, and everyone hates me.
Maybe I shouldn't vent anymore? Maybe I should just keep all of these bad feelings to myself until I snap and kill myself? I can't feel safe in letting out my frustrations, no matter where I go, and I do nothing but alienate people. I just need to accept that everywhere I go, someone will hate me for venting. And I will be well worth the hate, and scorn, and anger, and insults, and teasing, and accusations, and misery.
Being FIMfiction's bad guy is really the only thing I can do well, and consistently. So if being hated is the only thing I can do right, then fine. Hate me. I use bad words to describe cartoon characters. I whine and complain and try to grab attention, just like I'm doing now. My writing sucks. I have people surrounding me who just want me to feel better, but never give me anything constructive about my writing. The only criticism I get is about my attitude, which is now obviously irreparable. Just like my life.
I just can't be here anymore. I want to be. It's really the only home I have left. But I don't belong here. I'm not worthy to be a writer, a fan, or a human being. I don't know why I insist on coming back to where I'm not wanted. I don't understand why I want to be around people who hate me. I don't understand why I insist on thinking things will get better. They won't. I'm a bad person, and I always will be.
Foal Free Press was right. I'm just a twit.
And I don't deserve the love and support I get.
I don't deserve anything but misery until I die.
I care about you.
If you want to vent, ask someone if you can vent to them. Also, who's to say you cannot live? As long as you wake up each morning with air in your lungs, you have a right to live.
That's it.
You need to see a therapist.
I'm telling you this as a friend.
People care about you, and you need to realize that. And, when it comes to being 'worthy' what does that matter?
Who gets to justify whether or not you are worthy of something or not? And, worthy of what? Being a writer? I consider myself a writer, and my stuff may not be great, but I do it because I enjoy it. And, I've read your stuff. It's pretty good.
Worthy of being a fan? Oh, bull. If you enjoy a TV show, or a movie, you're a fan. What deems you being worthy?
Worthy of being a human being...
You need to stop thinking of this.
I personally recommended you take a vacation from this website, and get some psychiatric help.
If this website is causing you stress, then leave for a while, and clear your thoughts. Do something that makes you happy.
And, definitely see a therapist.
Please. For your own sake.
Please.
You have a right to live Lighting you shouldn't care what other people think like pokefreak said who's to say you can't live everyone deserves to live
Last comment before I leave. Go see a fucking therapist. This site is not the place for you.
(Slaps you)
I FUCKING CARE ABOUT YOU, BRO!
To me, you're blood. You're a good person, you just can't see it. Your writing doesn't suck. Have you considered that maybe they don't offer constructive criticism because they think it's good? Huh?
And you know what, haters gonna hate. Let them hate. If they hate you for a differing opinion on who is best pony, then maybe they're not worth getting to know if they're being incredibly petty.
(Hugs tightly)
And don't you ever, ever, EVER, consider killing yourself. EVER. Especially over something like the FFP. They're a glorified tabloid designed to get hits by stirring up trouble. TO HELL WITH THEM!!!
As for the love you get, that's what friendship is, bro. You're our friend. It's not about what you deserve, it's about seeing our friend in trouble and trying to help him ease his pain.
I'm not losing another friend...
Please, we forgive you. We just want you to forgive yourself. I've done some bad stuff in my life too... Heck, I even stole something once. I felt terrible, but time keeps moving forward, and it's gonna leave you behind if you don't keep moving. You have worth, we can all see it, so why can't you?
No one deserves misery till they die. Everyone deserves to be loved... No matter what they've "done". Love is funny like that. And people in this fandom do get super sensitive if you attack a pony they love, we all know it. I may not agree with what you say about RD, but who am I to stop you for having your own opinion? This fandom really has gotten off the train of 'friendship is magic'. Which makes me really sad. And venting is something that everyone needs to do. It helps us relive the bitterness of depression.
And your writing doesn't suck! Or at least 605 people don't think so! That's an incredible number of people...
It seems to me that everyone here doesn't hate you and wants you to be happy...
Vent to those who will listen and care. We'll listen and care
Please don't go! I care for you. A lot of us do! I love your stories, opinions and you! Please don't bring yourself more down the rabbit hole! You're awesome!
3513446 I still don't understand why you care. Maybe you really want to help me, maybe not. I sincerely don't know. I just don't understand you. I probably never will. All I can say is that I don't know how to feel about seeing you in the future.
Seriously, dude: see a therapist about this. That's why they're there.
we all deeply care about if you need to vent vent to us pm us and vent you don't deserves misery no one deserves that we are not just fans of your work we are your friends and seeing you in pain hurts us to so please let us help you
Okay, that's it. Dude, this is going too far.
Really, it's okay to vent out your frustration and hate on this website. Everyone's entitled to their own opinion, so just stop.
There are gonna be haters but you gotta ignore them. No one is perfect and some people find it as a vent of weakness. Pay no mind and things'll be normal.
That being said, just stop dude. If you really want to keep hating yourself, then it's all you. No one can help you if you're stuck on believing that you're horrible. Myself included.
Your faithful follower,
Skye Mist
Oh for fuck's sake, LightningSword.
You act as if all of your Followers hate you for making mistakes. They don't hate you.
I don't hate you. I can't hate you. I just can't.
I'll stand by you, help you, and support you.
I love your stories. Plenty of other people do, too.
So, please, take a break. Clear your head. You'll feel better.
a word of advice... calm down.
there will always be a vocal minorty that hates something.
take Destiny for example.
Lots of people hated it because of pre-concieved notions of what they thought it was, and what it really was
Same goes for you
they probably expect too much, let them
haters gonna hate
I care about you man.
And so do a lot of others. HudsonHawk just spilled his heart out about how much he cares. Your writing is amazing, and anyone who hates you should just ignore them. They're not worth your time and attention.
Lightning, you point out in your blog post, that the reason some, repeat some, people go off on you, is when you express an opinion strongly, or vent as you put it. So, you should think about why you feel you have to vent so strongly. Keeping things to yourself is a bad idea, everypony has a breaking point after all. Maybe you can just tone things down a bit, take a step back, remember we are all just talking about magical pastel coloured ponies after all.
You are certainly not FiMfiction's 'bad guy' as you put. You don't aggressively attack people with petty insults. You don't harass people to the point where they report you to Knighty. You don't write cruel things about other people. You do not remind people of a YouTube comments section.
You say you crave attention. Why is that? Do you feel validated by it? You already have a strong group of followers, as you can see by looking at the number of friendly, encouraging posts down here. If, knowing this, you still feel as bad as you do, particularly if you still feel as if you do not deserve a happy, normal life, I will parrot a lot of other people here.
If you really do feel this way, see you doctor, or consider seeing a councillor.
Finally, for the record, you're a good writer. You've written 21 stories, with an average approval rating of 80%.
Feel better, my friend.
Shall I repeat myself?
1) Get the fuck off this site.
2) Request a permanent ban so you're tempted to come back.
3) Focus on real life issues. You have plenty, and seeing a therapist is on the top of the list.
Every time you post these depression blogs, I think the same thing. This is the third time I've told you do these three things. I hope third time's the charm. You've told me before that this site is the only place you have for self-satisfaction. Clearly, it's not worth that. Just leave already. You should have months ago.
You deserve better. You're a kind heart buried under a mountain of issues. I always see you trying to help others in ADP, but try helping yourself for once. Just say goodbye. You're not giving up or losing anything. You're only doing what's best.
Consider this.
Lighting Sword get help from a therapist we care about you and want you to be happy if this place isn't doing that then leave if it is then stay. I don't care what you do as long as your happy, healthy, and alive. Please lighting sword get some help.
eLLen is right. You need serious help. Our help and support clearly isn't enough for you. You have extreme troubles with dealing with "hate" and you need to fix that. I believe the only answer right now is (I really hate to say this) is to leave for good, whether you want to admit it or not, all of this is crushing you.
I don't even know what happened.
There are worse people out there, and your writing is good, who keeps insulting your writing? Don't kill yourself, vent all you need to, just vent at the right people.
Dude, as your friend, please stop before you do something you'll regret. You have people, including myself, that support you. I get people saying bad stuff about me on here and in real life. You know what I do? I just don't give a fuck.
That's what you need to do man. Who gives a shit what this Foal Free Press says? I certainly don't because up until now, I've never even heard of them. And you shouldn't give a flying fuck about what they have to say either.
Please! As one of your friends who will always have your back, I'm practically begging you at this point to stop with all of this. Take a break from the site! Go on a vacation! Do something! Just please don't do anything you'll regret.
Don't listen to those resources, listen to your friends. Don't believe in those nasty rumors. Feel good about yourself. Think positive about yourself. Do it for your moral supporters. (hugs you once again)
Link
You just need to accept what others think of you. Don't look to the past for advice; just continue on.
I have a lot to accept, yet I don't want to accept some of it. This is what YOU need to accept:
You belong here. Your our friend; my friend. We all make mistakes, but that doesn't make us horrible people. But if that's what you truly believe, that you don't deserve to be on fimfiction and that you are a terrible person, you are making that lie a truth.
I am not your friend. I do not know you. I do not care for you. Well, I mean... I care for you in the sense that you are a fellow human being, I do, but you know what I mean. It seems like a weekly thing for you to go off like this, and threaten yourself each time.
All I can say is, learning how to deal with dissent and differing opinions is a part of growing up. People get mad at you for your opinion? Especially over something so trivial as tiny talking horses? They're being childish. You can't deal with all of this and so you go on and on about how you're going to kill yourself because the world hates you and blah blah blah. You are being childish.
Honestly, I think the most solid advice I can give you is GROW UP. Someone wants to start crap, ignore them. Walk away from it and don't let it bother you like a proper adult. If you're not able to do that, then I shall repeat what the others have stated and tell you to seek out therapy and avoid this site.
About trying to help you, without giving criticism....
That's because I honestly see nothing wrong with it. It's your style, and the grammar is just fine~
Please, if you need to, vent to me through a PM. I would gladly accept the hate, and I can talk to you and such about it.
Really!
If people don't respect you enough to tell them your feelings, then let them be senseless idiots.
We just don't want you to die.
You need to live.
you should live.
You DESERVE to live.
3514246 I wanna second that. If you need somebody to vent to, seriously! PM me! I can take it, and I promise I won't hate you.
3514258 see? We can take your vents! We'll happily take the time to talk to ya!
*thank you moralsupport*
3513477 He cares, Lightning. We all do.
If anybody doesn't then they can just leave. Personally I think it's stupid that haters exist. Why do people find it so worth the work, so worth it to put in the effort just to make somebody else's day miserable? It's stupid!
3514268 You're quite welcome. LS, you are too.
That's what I'm here for.
Also...
Where the heck did this come from??
3514274 If I remember correctly, I believe it came from Foal Free Press
You're no self-vicimizing at all. What you are is a fucking idiot who blames himself for every slightly-less-than-perfect thing ever. You deserve to live. It is both something that you have a right to and something that you've earned. I don't know who's telling you this stupid shit about yourself, but you need to stop listening to them.
Mister Sir you cannot think like that. Everyone matters and saying u don't is a massive lie and lying is bad so stop it you're not supposed to lie. I'm sure all your followers would miss u if you were gone
Harms Way pretty much said it all for me. Don't let what others say bring you down. Be happy because you're lucky to have friends and people who support you. We're all here for you.
FiMFiction isn't quite the right place to vent, but do you know what is? Psychologist therapy! I'm not the only one who's been telling you to start with it, is it expensive AF where you live or something?
Sorry if I seem brash, but it's simple. Don't vent in public. Talk to somepony you trust in private, it make a Skype call. Love you man. Your not worthless.
Alright, due to some issues over here I shall make this simple my friend
First... Por Favor, see a p*** therapist, you need it
Second... if there is something that the comment you bring up proves, is that there is a lot of m***** in this fandom, maybe more than in any other I've been... not that big news
Third... Neither the comment from Foal Free Press, or the recent exchanges prove ANYTHING of what you're saying about yourself
Fourth... You're letting other's opinions of you affect you too much...
Sorry if I was rough here, but I could not find any other words to express this, I care about you Lightning, and please, don't you even think of taking your life for such a petty thing as some little h**** d* p*** who don't even know how to disagree in a barely civilized manner
3514565 Thank you! And, you know LS, on my alt writing account my downvotes outnumber my upvotes 3 to 1. Hate hits me a lot harder than it does you.
3514383 Thanks. New entry on my to-do list:
Oh wait EDIT:
That's better
Dude listen
Critics are meant to be harsh. The only reason people get good reviews is because they are the master of their craft: painting, cooking, writing, ect.
Just ignore the a**holes and watch what happens when they try to tear apart another. Like bloody sharks who senses people without self-confidence.
Honestly, i am a freshman in high school and i couldnt give two s***s what others thought. "Calling each other faggots behind the keys of a message board" (mackelmore - "same love" good song) that pretty much sums up what the a**holes on the internet do.
If you dont want anyone criticizing you severely or jerks being jerks, then try another outlet like "Wattpad". Its where i write, if you wanna join and talk then just find me by looking up "wizardsarecool319". If you want constructive criticism and not destructive criticism then talk to me up there.
Before you do someething stupid think about how people who dont know you, personally, are trying to care and legitimately be you friend. If i had to say anything i would say faith in humanity slightly restored. For you time, here is a fluttershy pic:
flutters and angel
Im here for you.
I think you're pretty wonderful.
Just because there are people who don't like you, does that mean you're a bad person?
I have people at school look at me like a mega bitch because Im more interested in my little pony than their fucking stupid snapchat posts.
But what ever they say, just think.
You have so many people sticking up for you. SO MANY LIVES THAT CARE ABOUT YOU.
That if you kill yourself, think of the effect it will cause.
People will change their minds. They say awful things like "drink bleach" or "just die already", but they don't actually mean it. They are dumb fucking TROLLS. They are going to hear that you killed yourself or, are hurting yourself, and say, to them selfs; "oh. I didn't mean it." But since they are trolls they are going to type onto their sad i-dont-have-a-life-custom-call-of-duty keyboards and say "its about time".
There are ALWAYS going to be people with mean comments and horrible things to say. But you can't let it get to you.
Sorry if my speatch is awful, Im not good with this kind of stuff.
Someone get me that "Foal Free Press" Bullshit, I AM GOING TO WRITE THE MOST ANGRY EMAIL THEY HAVE EVER SEEN, THAT THEY WILL SHIT THEIR PANTS FROM JUST LOOKING AT MY EMAIL.
YOU DONT KNOW HOW MAD I AM AT THEM!
Hand in there, LS.
Okay, let's get this straight. You vent a lot and you're very sensitive. I am too. But I am NEVER this harsh about myself. NEVER.
Like a bunch of people said before me, STOP VENTING HERE. JUST STOP. I'm just going to say it. I never thought I would have to say it though. YOU. NEED. HELP. Please, go see a therapist. It's for your own good.
Someone as successful as you shouldn't be this upset. People love your stories! People love having you as a friend! Yet you're unhappy. NEVER let mere words take advantage of you. Remember this saying you may have heard as a kid: Sticks and stones may break my bones, but names will never hurt me.
STOP BANGING YOURSELF UP LIKE THIS, LIGHTNING.
You are not the bad guy. You are a great writer and don't let the real bad guys get you down.
First sorry about my blank post comment from before I literally just sighed up. Next and most importantly stop having such a low opinion of yourself. You are a great writer I love the Steam Collection every installment does a great job sucking me into it's world and makes me care about the people in it no easy accomplishment I assure you. I love the Steam Collection and I care about you I know there are times when the world will get you down and make you doubt the things you believe in but you must remember there is more good in the world then bad. I believe in you so please believe in yourself and please reply to this comment as soon as you can.