Somedays, I sit, looking at the stars. I muse and wonder. I meditate and reflect. And I find the miracle in a new day of life. Especially since I swallowed so much glass the day before.
Hi everyone, I'm appearing again to do some lovely promotion not just for myself but for an up-and-comer audiobook recorder.
Hi, everyone.
I've had a lot of supporters over the years. I've also had a lot of detractors.
It's honestly been great, but I've kind of left the fandom for a long while now. Well, what have I been up to? I got a new job a couple years ago (around the time I left) so that's taken a lot of my time.
Well, the article is not actually the reason for this bit of unintentional hilarity. But read all the way to the end. That last line, tho. That last line.
Someone help us.
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Well, you know what they say. There comes a time in every man's life when he has to choose between the right thing to do and the wrong thing to do, and he only ever misses by one.
...Is this real life?
This is beautiful. Just beautiful.
Either this is a fake, that young man knows enough English to make bad jokes in it, or the translator was having a field day.
LOL
why
2891360
He had to do it.
There is a God. I see him in that pun.
2891341
I agree, this is most likely faked, but still funny
and tragic because the correct thing to do was call his equivalent of 911, tell them two idiots jumped in the river, then walk home
seriously-- the ex shouldn't have expected him to risk his life to save his ex from her own idiotic choice, and his girlfriend shouldn't have been selfish enough to turn the decision from 'is my ex stupid enough to abandon' into 'who do I have to abandon'
due to my morality, I would have been forced to save the ex, but would have said in no uncertain terms that I would never again even think about a relationship with her because of that stunt, and if my current girlfriend jumped, it would also be the end of that relationship because of her disregard for human life.
Sounds like something out of an anime. Although I'm pretty sure those are from Japan.
/sigh
"I must admit," Luna said, wringing out her mane, "that did not entirely proceed as expected."
Celestia picked a piece of pondweed off her head and shook some water out of her wings. "True. We're no closer to learning which one of us Twilight is secretly in love with."
"We did, however, learn that she cares sufficiently not to simply walk away."
Celestia nodded solemnly. "And that when she panics, she gets very good at lateral thinking."
Luna stepped carefully up the muddy riverbank to the park and examined the scorch marks in the grass where Twilight had been standing. "That was quite a feat of magic."
A smile flitted past Celestia's lips. "She is the princess of it." The smile fell away from her muzzle as she looked toward the Canterlot Lower Business District, and she let out a long sigh. "Public relations, however ..."
"They have insurance. They will most likely take a bigger profit on their merchandise than if they had sold it. If any still complain, simply tell them that complacency does the soul no favors."
Celestia did laugh, then. "That advice is very you, sister."
"Thank you, I think." Luna touched a wet hoof to her sister's shoulder. "Shall I contact the weather team to re-divert the river back to its proper course?"
"No," Celestia said. "The least we can do is fix that ourselves."
2891793
In defense of the dude,
it was his current girlfriend who jumped in the river first, and then the ex jumped in explicitly to make it a her-or-me situation.Disregard that, I misread the story. Yeah, that sounds like a choice with no right answer.Though as the story I linked below points out: "The story quickly went viral in China where there is a chronic shortage of women thanks to the country’s one child policy meant parents preferred male babies. As a result there is a surplus of millions of single men who will never marry as, normally, they cannot find partners." Walking away might not have been the smart move; it's entirely possible that his choice is one of them or nothing.
2891071 2891341
I suspect a delighted translator. news.com.au is a legitimate news site and that picture's pretty compelling. Here's a link to a different news site that has additional photos of the rescue.
We need an unintentional romantic comedy like this as a movie.
2891999
Ah, I didn't mean to imply that I thought it was fake. Just that the circumstances were so ridiculous. "Truth is stranger than fiction," I suppose.
Also, awesome short as always, horizon.
2891945
I see I was not the only one who thought "I need to write a story about this."
Though I am disappointed that yours was not a feghoot, the core of the story itself is still pretty ridiculous.
2891999
You're assuming being alone is somehow worse than being with a crazy person.
I don't think that's necessarily a correct assumption.
Though at least there will be fodder for more news articles about him having chose Rong.
2891999 in my defense, while many inexperienced people will disagree, 2892257 is right; loneliness is better than paired with either of those kinds of crazy.
2892245
Seriously? You're disappointed it's not a feghoot?
pinkie.mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/rsz/mlfw516_medium.jpg
The two princesses were summoning up their power to re-route the river when a Royal Guard dashed up to them. "Your Highnesses!" he said. "Help! It's terrible! We need you!"
Luna raised an eyebrow. "A Royal Guardspony asking us for help? What has this world come to?"
"Shush, sister," Celestia said mildly. "You know that their entire job is to stand around looking handsome. Now then, what's the problem?"
"There's a river dragon in the business district!" the guard wailed.
"Yes," Luna said, "that is not terribly surprising, given the circumstances. However, we are shifting the river back to its traditional banks, so if you will wait but a moment --"
"He's not in the river! He's sitting on one of the rooftops, fishing!"
Luna and Celestia exchanged a glance.
"Wait," Celestia said. "Let me make sure I heard that right. He's a river dragon, but he's not actually in the river?"
"Yes! The businessmares are panicking, the property owner is disconsolate, and --"
"Is he purple in color?" Luna interrupted. "Large pompadour? Short bristly whiskers and a goatee?"
The guard blinked. "Actually, yes."
"Mark," Celestia and Luna chorused.
"... Huh?"
Luna stared at the guard. "You have not heard the legends of Mark the Dragon? Even I, in my few years returned from the moon, have come to know of this beast."
"I just transferred from overseas last week. Who's Mark?"
"The world's only non-aquatic river dragon," Celestia said. "He made quite a stir in the biological sciences when he was discovered recently."
"He lives in the Everfree Forest, along the Destiny River, with his brother Steven," Luna said. "Except on holidays, when he travels."
"And now he's in Canterlot!" Celestia said, turning to Luna. "Do you know what this means?"
"Indeed I do."
"We can't divert the river from the business district now," Celestia said. Luna nodded.
The guard's jaw dropped. "What?! Why?"
"Simple economics," Luna said. "After all, a famous land Mark is a tourist Magnet."
2892454
You do realize I founded this group, right?
I really need to get to work on populating it.
I will admit I chuckle-groaned at your story.
2892454
2893403
Wat the fuck did I just wake up to
2893445
Shh.
It's alright.
Don't struggle.
2893445
Pretty much this:
pinkie.mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/img/mlfw9286-1357354024508434.gif
2891365 Did he though?
2895308
Yes.
2893565
2895308
2895312
i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/491/480/e8f.gif
I would like to say that in his situation, I would have called emergency services and not personally saved either of them. In actuality, I'm pretty sure I would have called emergency services, then jumped in to help whoever appeared to be the worse swimmer, but clearly unless one of them is going to drown before anybody else can arrive, they both deserve to wait.
And then I would have insisted they both learn how to swim properly. In fact, before I called emergency services, I would say something to the effect of "Can't you just swim out of the river yourself?" because I cannot imagine myself knowingly be close to somebody who is not a competent swimmer and allowing that situation to remain.
Frankly, though, I'm confusing myself with this hypothetical. Am I imagining a world where my two best friends jump in a river to see who I'll save? Or am I imagining a world where I'm not asexual and actually have a girlfriend and an ex? Both of those seem pretty far-fetched. (Though the idea of my platonic soulmate pulling this sort of stunt is pretty funny in its surrealism.) Maybe I should imagine a world a bit like Horizon's story, where two people are trying to find out who I'm secretly in love with and the answer is actually neither? Or perhaps I should pretend I'm Jun here? Oh, or maybe I'm Rong but I jump in to save Jun. Or should I say I'm Jun saving Rong? Whatever I call it, I like that one. [Name redacted]'s significant other jumps into a river out of jealousy, and I jump in to save him/her. And then I advise [name redacted] that surely she can find somebody less crazy. That one's not completely inconceivable.