10 Year Anniversary · 12:20am February 11th
I've been on the site for 10 years.
It's an odd feeling. When I published my first story, I thought I was writing a masterpiece. I first got into fanfiction when I was twelve years old, read dozens of works, and by the time I was fifteen, I thought I knew the ins and outs of writing because I bared witness to all of the cliches already. Turns out I didn't know what good writing is, and upon publishing, the story was met with instant backlash. I remember half-assing much of it, thinking that the story will get better as I get deeper into the plot. What I didn't account for is all of the details that mattered -- like characters and pros. I thought just writing a good plot makes a story great, but I didn't even have a solid understanding of that.
There were a lot of funny things I did that could have gotten the story taken down, or could have gotten me possibly banned. I would publish blank chapters and unpublish them so that the story would appear on the front page, and I'd wonder why it'd be met with more downvotes. At one point, overwhelmed by the negativity, I posted a chapter exclaiming, "Why do people dislike this story???" not understanding that that should have been posted as a blog.
I would wind up taking the story down, and at some point deleting it.
A lot has changed since. About a year later, I decided to take my writing more seriously. It was a conscious choice. I always struggled to make friends and school, and for a long time I struggled to find any talent or aspiration in life. I was thinking about this one day when I was sitting in my 10th grade speech class during a lesson. I was thinking about what I wanted to do in life. Not a lot of careers sounded interesting to me. I wasn't interested in working -- God no, why would I ever want to work for a living? Then, for some reason, it clicked. I should be a writer. At the time, it made sense to me. I've always lived inside my own head. Instead of paying attention to lessons, I'd be making up stories in my head.
I always wanted to project those stories in some form or another, but didn't know how. I couldn't do art. I didn't understand at the time that anybody can make a movie if dedicated enough. Writing seemed the most natural to me. The problem: I wasn't good at it, and I was determined to get better.
I started by checking out all of the Harry Potter books from the library. I studied. the prose. I studied the grammar structure. I got a fundamental understanding of the basics, and when I sat down to write, I could already see that I was getting better. I still wasn't good, but I was improving. And I wanted to keep improving.
I wrote several more stories. Many of those didn't see the light of day, and a small portion of those I ended up unpublishing out of embarrassment. They weren't overwhelmed by dislikes like my first story, but they were often received with a mediocre reception. I went from bad, to mediocre. I was so depressed that I hadn't improved by much, that I stopped writing completely. This wasn't because I gave up. It was because I decided to go back to it when I had a more solid understanding of how to structure a plot.
Movies really helped with that. I got into the works of Stanley Kubrick, and watching his movies broadened my understanding that a story can be both artful and engaging. I would watch a lot of movies, and I found that the more I introduced myself to new cinematic experiences, the more influenced I became. I would read too, albeit not nearly as often as I watched movies, but still enough that I'd understand what is required of a written story.
I returned in 2018 with a story called Life of Twi. I wrote it my senior year of high school at the public library. While barley anybody read it, I was still proud of what I wrote because it was the first semblance of a style still in development. It was suppose to be multi-chaptered, but I wounded up scrapping the rest of the story and marking it down as a one shot.
Later that year, I wrote The Divine Epidemic while on a field trip. I took what I learned from Life of Twi, and I applied it to that. It turned out to be the story that influenced the style I use till this day. While the story was largely unfocused, it showed that I was finally growing the understanding of what makes for interesting characters. That, and there was a moment in the first chapter that came out of nowhere. It's when the main character, OddLuck (bad name, I know) breaks a barstool in a fit of rage. I didn't plan for this moment. I thought of it on the spot, and it added so much to the story that something in my head clicked. It's what I've since called the Holy shit, I'm a writer! moment.
There were other things about Divine Epidemic that defined my style. The were abstract ideas full of originality. There were colorful characters. There was comedy. Some of it forced, but it was balanced out with a serious story, something I would hone over time. Divine Epidemic would also end up being cancelled for several reasons. For one, I had so many prestigious ideas for it I knew to be great, but not enough of the skill to see those ideas come to light. I eventually lost interest in it because I wanted to explore other works, but I promised myself I'd go back to it in some form or another.
A lot has happened since. My writing has improved immensely. I've experienced life outside of school. I've broken relationships. I've gone through trauma. I've witnessed reality on more than one occasion. I even won a writing contest, pitted up against 42 people. I did something I always aspired to do: to prove to myself that I have talent in something.
Despite proving on more than one occasion that I have talent, and I still struggle with self-confidence. There's a lot of things to factor in here. For one, I fear that I will never be as good as I hope to be. Another is a long-standing anxiety that originated from high school. Yet somehow, when I do end up writing, things somehow working out. I'm trying to work through this anxiety now, and have even signed up for counseling. After years of laying on back and waiting for things to get better, I've finally decided to take action in order to get better.
There's a lot I'm excited for in 2024. I plan on making this my most prolific year to date -- if I can fight my overwhelming self-confidence issues, that is. I already have the prologue for the new Pink Scorch written, with the second chapter halfway finished. I hope to finish it fast so that I can move onto other works I've been itching to write.
I can say more, but I'd have too much to say, so I'd like to close out this blog. Special thanks to Soaring for helping me find my path as a writer. He was my editor for several of my works, starting with Divine Epidemic. He showed me all of the right roads to take, and because of that, I was able to improve quicker than I could possibly imagine. Go read his works if you haven't already, he really knows a lot about writing.
I'd also like to thank a few of my friends for sticking by me for so long and motivating me to continue my work. MisstheAngle, for proofreading for me and generally being a great friend whom I love to talk to. Lucky Seven, for tolerating my autistic antics. Jack of a Few Trades, for being a hard ass whenever he edits for me, but a good hard ass who sees protentional for a better story. And for having plans to finish Set Sail by the end of 2024. Semillon for always willing to read my stuff when I need feedback ASAP. Flutterpriest for tolerating my shitposting on the Barcast for so long. Like, Jesus Christ dude, how have you lasted? Odd_Sarge, for being oddly supportive despite my autistic behavior (I actually plan on reading your stories soon, keep your eyes out for that). NorristhePony, for having a lot in common with me and being a blast to talk to. FamousLastWords. You haven't really had any influence on me, but you're really cool and deserve a mention. Also, thank you for complimenting my sweater that one time.
This last thanks isn't necessary, especially since we're not friends, but I still deem it an important one. Thank you BronyWriter for writing The Secret Life of Rarity, the story that brought me to this site. It was the story that got me to realize that a fanfic can be good. Before I found it, I was always searching for stories that fulfilled some fanservicy niche. While my tastes have changed over the years, and I don't know if I'll enjoy it now, I will always attributed the story as one of my biggest writing influences. Also, I still plan on writing that spin-off like I promised. Like some of this blog touches on, I'm working through self-confidence issues, but I hope to have something out before the year is over.
Not much left to say aside from the fact that I just published the first fanfic I ever wrote on this site. Very little of it has been altered. The only editors that were made were the ones necessary to get it published. I don't know if I plan to finish it yet, but if I do I hope to make it a hilarious mess of a story. Now, do me a kindness and go dislike it. The original dislike count was 23, and I hope to break that record.
That's all I had. Go read a book or something, idk, I gotta go write Pink Scorch. Namaste, brethren.
This is huge. This is the blog. The absolute glow up in your writing from when we first met to now is insane. And yes, I and many others will continue to remind you that you kick ass and take names and are a great writer (even if you don't believe it yourself). You're not alone in feeling that way, although we all have our differences in how it happens (imposter syndrome is awesome, amirite?). Keep on writing and keep on keeping-on (if I use the word keep one more fucking time). Trust the process, as NickyD would say.
Happy ten years, Mug, and cheers to the future! 🍻
Now enjoy this random ass video that was in my recommended today, because if you don't, this shark will bite you and it will not swim away this time!
I would be nothing if my ass wasn't hard.
Love you bro, welcome to the double-digit horse geek life. We're all old here. Congratulations on being old.
Happy anniversary!
look at all the friends you’ve made!
the stories you’ve written!
the raging reviews!
I just want to say this: you’re doing great. Thanks for remaining a constant source of energy and creativity for all these years!
Thank you for the shoutout. It means a ton that I inspired a lot of people with my works. I was in a similar boat. I just decided to write when the ideas struck, and while my first stories were absolutely terrible, they got better. Seeing that my random ideas inspired you to write on this site is incredibly meaningful to me, so thank you very much!
READ
ANOTHER
BOOK
the truth tyo becoming at something is just to keep writing and your proof of the concept, may you writing carry you another ten years.
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This is almost sweeter than the unrelated Belgian techno anthem Pump up the Jam.
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Your ass ain't shit. I felt it myself!
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danx
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Much appreciated. I will read your stories one of these days. I'm trying to build a more consistent reading schedule.
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Np, I know you know the followers. (lol)
I haven't read the Secret Life of Rarity since I was 14 (and holy shit I'm 25 now. It's been 11 years jc), but it should be interesting revisiting now that I have a more expert lense on story crafting. I might get more out of it. Even if I end up not liking it at my cynical age, I still very much appreciate how much it influenced me. While it didn't exactly inspire me to write, it did bring me to the site, so you can say I was inadvertently influenced by it.
It might explain why I have a niche for dark subject matter. lol
Keep doing what you do. I'll send you the story to pre-read if you're interested.
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No.
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I think I'm having an aneurism.
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Honestly a power move, ngl