• Member Since 14th Jan, 2012
  • offline last seen 7 hours ago

MrNumbers


Stories about: Feelings too complicated to describe, ponies

More Blog Posts335

  • 18 weeks
    Tradition

    This one's particular poignant. Singing this on January 1 is a twelve year tradition at this point.

    So fun facts
    1) Did you know you don't have to be epileptic to have seizures?
    2) and if you have a seizure lasting longer than five minutes you just straight out have a 20% chance of dying in the next thirty days, apparently

    Read More

    10 comments · 506 views
  • 23 weeks
    Two Martyrs Fall for Each Other

    Here’s where I talk about this new story, 40,000 words long and written in just over a week. This is in no way to say it’s rushed, quite the opposite; It wouldn’t have been possible if I wasn’t so excited to put it out. I would consider A Complete Lack of Jealousy from All Involved a prologue more than a prequel, and suggested but not necessary reading. 

    Read More

    2 comments · 586 views
  • 26 weeks
    Commissions Open: An Autobiography

    Commission rates $20USD per 1,000 words. Story ideas expected between 4K-20K preferable. Just as a heads up, I’m trying to put as much of my focus as I can into original work for publication, so I might close slots quickly or be selective with the ideas I take. Does not have to be pony, but obviously I’m going to be better or more interested in either original fiction or franchises I’m familiar

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    5 comments · 588 views
  • 28 weeks
    Blinded by Delight

    My brain diagnosis ended up way funnier than "We'll name it after you". It turned out to be "We know this is theoretically possible because there was a recorded case of it happening once in 2003". It turns out that if you have bipolar disorder and ADHD and PTSD and a traumatic brain injury, you get sick in a way that should only be possible for people who have no

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    19 comments · 777 views
  • 38 weeks
    EFNW

    I planned on making it this year but then ran into an unfortunate case of the kill-me-deads. In the moment I needed to make a call whether to cancel or not, and I knew I was dying from something but didn't know if it was going to be an easy treatment or not.

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    6 comments · 800 views
Dec
4th
2022

Pinocchio · 12:03pm Dec 4th, 2022

The Pinocchio you probably remember from your childhood first aired in 1940. It was a story about becoming a person - being brought into the world with innocence, and then learning morality. It's about the importance of following the guidance of a loving father. It's a morality tale where Jiminy Cricket represents Jesus Christ. It's not subtle. There's a famous, haunting scene where the runaway children drink beer and it turns them into jackasses.

Two Pinocchio movies came out this year, modernized in different ways. Disney's live action with Tom Hanks tries to ape the aesthetics while modernizing the content - The kids can't drink beer in a kid's movie. It's root beer now, that turns the kids into jackasses. The literal events are recognizable, but the themes are butchered and mangled. The story is understood only as the things that happen, which is how children understand storytelling. Ask them about their day and they'll just describe the things that happened, because they don't understand what gave them emotional impact - "And then we went to the park, and sat on a bench, and there were ducks, and we fed the ducks,". Some children grow up to tell better stories. Other children grow up to work for Disney.

The first act Sebastian J Cricket makes in Del Toro's Pinocchio? When he makes his home in the piece of wood that will become Pinocchio's chest, right where his heart would be, he hangs a picture of Schopenhauer. Moral philosopher. Nihilist. Atheist. There is no name plaque, no line that draws attention to it, it's a practically an easter egg. Still, just that change tells you that Del Toro understands the themes of the original and finds them wanting. There is a much better message, a much better story, that can be told with these pieces.

That's the thing about homage. If you have too much respect for the original, why are you trying to tell that story? Don't say money, that's the reason Disney's live action update got made, but that decision is made by executives and executed by artists. There needs to be a real belief that you can do something better. There needs to be an understanding that, even for everything the original did to inspire you, it did things wrong.

Pinocchio was released in cinemas in 1940. Del Toro sets his Pinocchio in 1940, in Italy. And that, in and of itself, should tell you everything you need to know about how much this movie understands the original, what it finds wanting. It tells that story incredibly, and breaking an ironclad tradition, the animators are listed in the credits before the voice actors - even when the voices are talents like Ron Perlman, Cate Blanchett, Tilda Swinton, Finn Wolfheart, Ewan McGregor. Good. Tradition was injustice, and this Pinocchio has very different thoughts about obedience as principle.

I think the original 1940 movie was a masterpiece, but I think Del Toro was right that he could do it better. It's only been out a week here, but my roommate and I were the only two people watching this in the cinemas - the only time it aired today. I tried to watch it yesterday, but they didn't even bother to run any showings. That, too, is injustice.

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Comments ( 17 )

There was a third Pinnochio movie this year.

I guess it's been modernized in it's own way.

Holey smokes, I wasn't even AWARE of a Del Toro rendition! I'd watch it just to see what he does with it! Thank you for informing the rest of us because that film never saw a BLIP on any of my other feeds or ads that get shoved down my throat.

Some children grow up to tell better stories. Other children grow up to work for Disney.

They say to never meet your heroes. These children probably thought to themselves that there's no danger of that when Walt is long dead, and failed to understand what that meant for his company. (A failure also present in those who think that they could have saved his brain and still went through what happened after he died)

Set in 1940. In Italy.
WW2 Pinochio?

This actually looks really good, and wasn't on my radar at all. If Del Toro can take an existing property and expand upon its characters, setting, and themes for the better like this, doesn't that make him a really good fanfiction author? And if there's one thing I can appreciate, it's a good fanfic.

5701535
That trailer feels like they took some of the major points that made Shrek notable then mercilessly ripped out everything that made it great and enjoyable. And wow that is some wooden voice acting...

Hm. Looks like my local theater isn't showing it at all. Oh well.

5701568
Well, wooden voice acting should be okay for Pinochio at least . .

I think this is the most a review has ever raised my desire to see a movie.

Del Toro is a freakin' genius, a man capable of putting depth and soul into what would have been shallow and forgettable in most anyone else's hands.

In this age of remakes, reboots, "reimaginings"*, and regurgitation, he is one of the few that can take the familiar and make it fresh.

--------------------
* I believe this word is the hallmark of talentless and creatively bankrupt hacks.

5701633

The turning-into-asses scene is a direct reference to The Golden Ass of Apulius, and The Emperor's New Groove is Apulius almost beat-for-beat, just transported from the Mediterranean to Mesoamerica.

...he hangs a picture of Schopenhauer. Moral philosopher. Nihilist. Atheist.

Yeah, but David Hume could out-consume him and Hegel.

5701678

Neither could hold a candle to Australian Prime Minister Bob Hawke though. 5 pints in eleven seconds. Probably mentioned it before but it's still a point of incredulity to me that it's probably one of the reasons he held the office.

5701703
You probably need a certain level of blood alcohol content to deal with the job.
Churchill was highly alcoholic as well and he did not that bad either.

I've been anticipating this movie since 2020, and after Disney butchered their own movie (again) I'm anticipating it more than ever. I'm only sad it's not playing in my city theaters at all, because I'd gladly take a bus across town to see it.

Now that it's out on streaming I watched it last night, and it was utterly incredible. It made me cry, and I do not cry at movies easily.

Guillermo del Toro is a world treasure. I will always be mad that we were robbed of his Hobbit movies.

5703067
Just finished it myself two minutes ago. Didn't cry, but I wanted to.

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