• Member Since 11th Nov, 2019
  • offline last seen February 27th

dawnbreez


I'm the smuggest horse that ever lived.

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Found 10 stories in 21ms



Total Words: 20,583
Estimated Reading: 1 hour


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Starlight picked a really bad time to take up astronomy. She made a very interesting discovery! The problem is that this discovery, near as anybody can tell, is an asteroid on a collision-course with Equestria.

Obviously this bodes ill for almost everyone on the planet. (Except Trixie. She's been to the afterlife before, so she's not particularly concerned.)

The thing is, there's one detail of Glimmer's discovery that she's still hoping and praying isn't true.

Through the telescope, she was able to get a very close look at the asteroid.

It has her face on it.


A horrible crack-adjacent fic inspired heavily by YIIK. If you know, you know. If you don't...spoilers, I guess? Does anybody care?

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Cheerilee has a difficult job. Ponies often believe that children are perfectly innocent. They are, most of the time, perfectly wrong about this. Small fillies are remarkably inventive, and will often stop at nothing to do exactly the opposite of what parents ask them to do. As a result, Cheerilee has become something of an expert in things that most parents assume are simply not a problem when dealing with schoolchildren.

Today, Cheerilee has just met the first perfectly innocent filly she has ever seen. The thing is, her name is the exact opposite of innocent.

This story contains dirty words, particularly with regard to sexual content of a kind that would get FiMFiction kicked off Patreon. Viewer discretion is advised.

Blame FOME for this.

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It's the magical discovery of the millennium! Using a series of magical techniques devised by Starlight for leveraging limited magical power for greater effect, and a theory that Twilight quietly snuck out of the Forbidden Section with, a spell has been developed that can reverse Death itself!

There's just one problem: Ponyville doesn't exactly have a reputation for murders. They've tested the spell on a mouse, sure, but they've yet to find a dead pony who fits the requirements for the spell.

So Glimmer suggests that they make a dead pony. And, after racking their brains for a while, there's only one pony that both of them would willingly murder.

Written in a day under the influence of some very bad writing prompts.

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This story is a sequel to Friendship For Gearheads


Barron Secht, Archmagos Dominus, has done things which less flexible Imperial factions would call Heretical. He has adapted designs from Xeno tech-heresy, offered to negotiate with the unclean, and he's even gone so far as to cancel an Exterminatus--on the grounds that the very Machine Spirits themselves willed the ship's thrusters to quietly die.

He has spent the past two weeks attempting to understand a new kind of xeno--a race of quadrupedal sapients who have no knowledge of the Warp, or of War--but they have shown a capacity for learning and understanding beyond what the Imperium has ever reckoned with. The one called Twilight Sparkle recreated a lasgun design long thought lost. What other knowledge do they hold? Secht cannot afford to lose such valuable tech-lore.

Suffice to say, when he learned about the chaos god living on the edge of Ponyville, he was not thrilled.

Contains my best guesses at what Warhammer 40K canon is. Special thanks to Opponent, who wrote the comment that inspired this sequel, and who graciously loaned me his OC to play with. Also, shoutout to the WH40K wiki, and my buddy Tupo over in Estee's discord server, because dear Emperor this game's lore is dense.

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It is generally not intended for the Mechanicus to be the ones making first contact with a new race of Xenos. Brother Gentoo has the dubious honor of being stationed on Equus, for reasons that nobody can really explain, because the explanation was taken out back and shot by someone three or four links up the chain of command. Frankly, he's done this song and dance before. The Mechanicus are used to bending the rules a little to ensure that the Imperium's gears continue to turn.

This is how Brother Gentoo ended up being the one to make first contact with the inhabitants of Equus--a group of oddly-colored, unusually intelligent equines.

And then one of them asked him how lasguns work.

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Sunset has a problem. It's a problem she's had since she was little, in a sense. She always felt like something was simply not right about her life, something that she can't put her finger on--that nags and pokes and teases at the back of her mind, until it drives her mad.

It's not that she wants to kill herself, really. It's just that it keeps happening, always at the most inconvenient times and in the most inconvenient ways.

Tagged with "self harm" even though technically Sunset isn't hurting herself, Sunset is hurting Sunset. Wait, does that count?

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Life is basically complete for Twilight. She and her friends are practically retired, Equestria is at peace, and everything's been wrapped up for at least another thousand years.

Well, you'd think so, anyway. You know how it took two years for Twi to mention her brother? Well...

Tagged with Sex for implied fun times in the future.

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This story is a sequel to Horsetangled: Act 0


In a quiet little universe, just the other side of the line dividing the silly from the serious, a dumb purple horse caused the apocalypse.

The good news is, she's gonna make a new universe to replace the one she broke. With the help of Sunbutt, Moonbutt, and Candybutt, she's gonna finish this strange and confusing game and build a better world.

Meanwhile, two green horses run an entirely unrelated battle against a bunch of evil wolves. This will obviously never be plot-relevant.

Contains complications on a level beyond even the stupidest of Homestuck plots.

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The wolves watch us. The wolves protect us. They are shepherds, keeping the flock safe from itself.

And yet, fear and despair echo through the streets of Lower Canterlot. The ponies walk with bowed heads, working meaningless jobs, fighting tedious and thankless battles against a million little disappointments.

One pony--a young pegasus who calls himself "D.B."--has had enough of it. He--and many others, more than anypony wants to admit--is looking for a way out, no matter how painful or permanent it is. He's tired of living a life with no meaning.

Soon, he will have the meaning he seeks.

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Twilight Sparkle has turned 24. Her quarter-life crisis is right around the corner. Freshly princess'd, she starts to regret her incredibly successful life...which is just as well, because it's about to be flipped entirely turnways.

Celestia and Luna have been hiding something--a game that they hoped would be lost to time forever.

It's called SBURB. There. I said it. It's a homestuck crossover. We are, in fact, doing this. Indeed, we are making this happen, and none of you can stop me.

Contains copious amounts of stupid. May or may not be the start of something truly excellent. Written for the 2020 Crack-Storm.

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