After the events of the apple family reunion, Applebloom receives a letter from her favorite cousin. This isn't out of the norm for these two fillies as they often write each other but this letter is different...
wow talk about bone headed idea's. but at least the near death experience has given hope to the kissing cousins.... and maybe scootaloo's threesome (we all know she's cloping to thoughts of AB and babs lol). I hope this isn't almost over but seeing as they have only 1 day left it appears this will be a short series, unless babs can some how talk her parents into making it the entire season.
Okay, this is adorable, but can you do me a favor... Find all replace Applebloom with Apple Bloom, thar with there, ah with Ah, and meh with me. Just do that and the whole thing will be more readable.
Getting critic'd on my use of country slang...that's new!
But Yeah, I can see what you mean by that. mostly confusion on punctuation on my part. I always thought that since it was said with two letters instead of one that the caps rule didn't apply despite them saying "I" as "Ah" regarding the slang use of the word "thar" for "there", that was me laying on the country accent thick, guess it was too thick? meh, i'll consider changing that in the future. My only thought is that I always thought Apple Bloom's name was typed as "Applebloom" as a whole word instead of two.
2424663 I use Ah in the beginning of sentences and sometimes in the middle. I don`t really know what to do with I`m so I try Ah`m, but it looks weird. I typically use Ah am. As for meh and thar, just think of what Applejack or Apple Bloom would say while talking. Meh is actually a really word that you are using incorrectly. It is this:
expressing a lack of interest or enthusiasm
Some people use it as a feeling, for example: Meh! As for the Applebloom/Apple Bloom issue, it depends on personal preference. I use Apple Bloom. So thar is fine if that`s what you like, ah is fine if you think it looks normal, Applebloom is fine and meh is the only one that is used incorrectly. That guy was just being picky.
2424701 Well, Apple Bloom is how her name is done in canon, I don't think it's too picky to ask that it be spelled the same way the show does. The other suggestions were just that, suggestions. The southern accent is something you can easily overdo to the point of making things unreadable, so toning it back might be good. As for Ah, to my mind if you are accenting a proper word you treat it as that word. So it's I I'll I'm I've Ah Ah'll Ah'm Ah've
Another minor thing, the letters. AB goes to school, so does Babs. They may say things with an accent but that doesn't mean they write with an accent.
2424732 I haven`t actually read the story, I usually read the comments before the story. I know for a fact that you wouldn`t write with an accent. As for the Apple Bloom thing, it is a personal preference. It could say Apple Bloom everywhere, but if you think that it is or should be one word then you can use it. I said the picky thing because a kind person would never in a million years go to a story that someone has worked hard on and critique them on the way they choose to write an accent! You could point out a major spelling error if it would benefit the person, but flat out saying that they messed up the accent is rude. So, you continue being picky about stories and hurting people`s feelings. Whatever dude.
2424760 I'm uncertain how giving someone a suggestion on how to improve their story is "making them feel bad." I like the story, I just saw a couple ways it could be a bit better. I think you might be doing the author a disservice by saying doing something wrong is fine. How will they ever improve that way?
2424784 You may critique lightly, but you basically just flat out said that their accent was wrong. That is opinion. You may critique the structure, you may point out spelling errors or a problem with grammar, but you may not try to 'fix' something based on what you think. Also, if you`re going to say something like that then you should also say something positive. If you just say "Your story sucks." you make everyone mad. If you say "I didn`t like your story very much, but I really like the cover image and my friends really enjoyed it." you make them feel better. You still shouldn`t say that you don`t like something, I don`t hit dislike on anything, even if I hate it because it is unkind and they worked hard. Try to be nice. If you don`t have anything nice to say, don`t say anything at all. This conversation is over.
2424814 Fair enough, but for the record, I did say I found the story adorable. If that is not nice, I am not sure what you would consider nice. And I did not say "you must fix this." I said "can you do me a favor." which is not to be confused with a demand. My only critiques are fix the name, and letters should not be written in an accent. But yes, I agree, I think we should end it, since you seem to be reacting with hostility to suggestions meant only to help someone.
Not particularly fond of the idea of cousins thinking of each other like that but you use Apple Bloom well as a relate-able character to work the reader into the idea of this as "not-so-horrible"
Description gives us exactly what it says. Wish more stories' descriptions were like it. I enjoy the more simplistic writing style. Gives me a feel that the author doesn't care about how good he looks and just wants to write a story for us. One slight complaint though: Could you make their thoughts in italics? Makes it easier to read is all.
2426915 Eat what? Nothing that would warrant such a phrase has occurred. I would like to add that calling me a rat was uncalled for. As for overcritical I do so dearly wish for the mind of two years ago when I could read anything and call it gold, I blame education.
I went into this fic thinking it would be another mindless clop. NOPE. This is outstanding! Sure it has some sexual content, but the whole thing isn't focused around clop. I expect more soon!
2428968 Um, I still got confused. You should have explained it better in the story. Give a reason Babs calls Applejack "Aunt" in-story. I have a relatively large family myself, and I still call all of my cousins "cousin" (and one of my cousins is about 18 years older than me) in conclusion, I'm confused and I favorited.
2426692 first of all your comment toward this story was pointless and useless, apparently any amount of education you may have had was worthless, if you can't understand writing in all forms you can't be a critic, and if you can't say something useful or with point, then you shouldn't say it, because then you just sound like a spiteful ill read fool if you have a problem with the story explain what you think is wrong, don't just give useless options this also refers to this comment 2428597
Please don't take it as a personal attack, it's just that you're the third person to confuse this. I figured that by the way the apple family wasn't freaking out when she said "Aunt" it should have been obvious.
2429025 All right, there's no need for the passive aggression, mate--I was getting ready to go to work and didn't have time to write a review. I merely wished to express my distaste that the story appeared in the features box. I can be constructive if you so wish, but I lost motivation for reading at the point when we see the letter sent by Babs. I'll do my best though. The story annoyingly refers to characters with descriptors in lieu of their names. This can create ambiguity regarding who the author is referring to. For Example:
“Up and at em sleepyhead! Ya got your mornin chores to do and then it's off to school with ya.” The farm pony replied as she left the room only to stick her head back in a few moments later to see the filly slowly reaching down with her hind hooves to pull the blankets back up. “Ah guess ah'll be keepin this here letter ah got from your cousin yesterday then...” Upon hearing this, the farm pony's eyes shot wide open and looked as if she was wide awake and alert.
Both Applebloom and Applejack are referred to as "the farm pony", although context tells us who the author is referring to simply using their names would be better form. Not to mention the missing apostrophes and run on sentences. The accents are poorly written and carried over to the letter. This makes no sense as accents are purely verbal.
Though last night was interestin though.
Case in point. I cannot review it further, I don't want to read it. I don't care if you and others enjoy the story, but I don't. Please don't turn this into an argument.
I've sat back and watched this little squabble of yours so far and now i've got something to say.
Upon hearing your "more detailed review" as you call it I have come to this conclusion:
You're one of those people who either HATE the use of country accents in a fanfic or are a grammar Nazi from hell.
Either way,
I kindly ask you to not comment any farther on this fic unless you have something constructive to say in regards to my writing beyond your flames "this fic sucks" or that overly large insult that you called "a critic"
2429161 I didn't mean to offend you, although looking back I'm not surprised. I like country accents in written form, I think they are quite fun. And as you can tell from this reply my grammar is quite poor. I think I owe you an apology, I made a comment that was uncalled for because I felt slightly ruffled something that in my opinion was poor quality appeared on the featured list. I only wrote that awful "critique" because I was asked to. In any case, I am sorry that I offended you.
Mmm... tasty teasy foalcon clop with a cute pair of cousins. I can dig it. Might I recommend using internal monologue in italics though? I did several spit-takes when I though AB's internal monologue was actually external and she'd blabbered something very private out.
Also, I could never have told my friends and their age that someone had a crush on me, even less so with compromising pictures. What are these kids getting up to nowadays...
wow talk about bone headed idea's. but at least the near death experience has given hope to the kissing cousins.... and maybe scootaloo's threesome (we all know she's cloping to thoughts of AB and babs lol). I hope this isn't almost over but seeing as they have only 1 day left it appears this will be a short series, unless babs can some how talk her parents into making it the entire season.
2424436 Maybe the story doesn't cover just the weekend but lasts much longer? Who knows?
Silver out!
Yay! Anther fantastic chapter! Love it!
Okay, this is adorable, but can you do me a favor... Find all replace Applebloom with Apple Bloom, thar with there, ah with Ah, and meh with me. Just do that and the whole thing will be more readable.
2424654
Getting critic'd on my use of country slang...that's new!
But Yeah, I can see what you mean by that. mostly confusion on punctuation on my part. I always thought that since it was said with two letters instead of one that the caps rule didn't apply despite them saying "I" as "Ah" regarding the slang use of the word "thar" for "there", that was me laying on the country accent thick, guess it was too thick? meh, i'll consider changing that in the future. My only thought is that I always thought Apple Bloom's name was typed as "Applebloom" as a whole word instead of two.
2424663 I use Ah in the beginning of sentences and sometimes in the middle. I don`t really know what to do with I`m so I try Ah`m, but it looks weird. I typically use Ah am. As for meh and thar, just think of what Applejack or Apple Bloom would say while talking. Meh is actually a really word that you are using incorrectly. It is this:
Some people use it as a feeling, for example: Meh! As for the Applebloom/Apple Bloom issue, it depends on personal preference. I use Apple Bloom. So thar is fine if that`s what you like, ah is fine if you think it looks normal, Applebloom is fine and meh is the only one that is used incorrectly. That guy was just being picky.
Meh.
2424701 Well, Apple Bloom is how her name is done in canon, I don't think it's too picky to ask that it be spelled the same way the show does. The other suggestions were just that, suggestions. The southern accent is something you can easily overdo to the point of making things unreadable, so toning it back might be good. As for Ah, to my mind if you are accenting a proper word you treat it as that word. So it's
I I'll I'm I've
Ah Ah'll Ah'm Ah've
Another minor thing, the letters. AB goes to school, so does Babs. They may say things with an accent but that doesn't mean they write with an accent.
2424732 I haven`t actually read the story, I usually read the comments before the story. I know for a fact that you wouldn`t write with an accent. As for the Apple Bloom thing, it is a personal preference. It could say Apple Bloom everywhere, but if you think that it is or should be one word then you can use it. I said the picky thing because a kind person would never in a million years go to a story that someone has worked hard on and critique them on the way they choose to write an accent! You could point out a major spelling error if it would benefit the person, but flat out saying that they messed up the accent is rude. So, you continue being picky about stories and hurting people`s feelings. Whatever dude.
2424760 I'm uncertain how giving someone a suggestion on how to improve their story is "making them feel bad." I like the story, I just saw a couple ways it could be a bit better. I think you might be doing the author a disservice by saying doing something wrong is fine. How will they ever improve that way?
Not bad, not bad. You've got talent, kid. But you've also got a lot of work ahead of you.
2424784 You may critique lightly, but you basically just flat out said that their accent was wrong. That is opinion. You may critique the structure, you may point out spelling errors or a problem with grammar, but you may not try to 'fix' something based on what you think. Also, if you`re going to say something like that then you should also say something positive. If you just say "Your story sucks." you make everyone mad. If you say "I didn`t like your story very much, but I really like the cover image and my friends really enjoyed it." you make them feel better. You still shouldn`t say that you don`t like something, I don`t hit dislike on anything, even if I hate it because it is unkind and they worked hard. Try to be nice. If you don`t have anything nice to say, don`t say anything at all. This conversation is over.
2424814 Fair enough, but for the record, I did say I found the story adorable. If that is not nice, I am not sure what you would consider nice. And I did not say "you must fix this." I said "can you do me a favor." which is not to be confused with a demand. My only critiques are fix the name, and letters should not be written in an accent. But yes, I agree, I think we should end it, since you seem to be reacting with hostility to suggestions meant only to help someone.
This is a pretty interesting story
Not particularly fond of the idea of cousins thinking of each other like that but you use Apple Bloom well as a relate-able character to work the reader into the idea of this as "not-so-horrible"
I give it a thumbs up because Babs is in it.
Yes, this pleases me.
2424663 Country slang is fine, but holy shit that is way too much.
Quite an interesting concept.
Hopefully, hearts shall not be broken.
Awaiting further releases.
Well this is a cute story I can't wait for more hopefully it will be soon Keep up the good work.
So far so...interesting. Things are definitely shaping up to be very interesting. Although I'm very curious about Scootaloo now.
2424663
Nope, Apple Bloom is two words, for both Hasbro and DHX. No canon wiggle room like with Cadance/Cadence
I can't stop laughing!
And favorited.
Also, Aunt Applejack? Doesn't that make Applejack Apple Bloom's mom?
The thumbnail image alone is enough to make me loose my shit.
I think I'll read this
This...
looks promising. I think I'll take a read.
2423068
Speak English, please
2426435 I guess Shakespeare didn't know English.
2426692 Eat it, ya' overcritical freakin' rat!
2426903 No, he did. He just knew a different FORM of English. Ole' British English.
Description gives us exactly what it says. Wish more stories' descriptions were like it.
I enjoy the more simplistic writing style. Gives me a feel that the author doesn't care about how good he looks and just wants to write a story for us. One slight complaint though: Could you make their thoughts in italics? Makes it easier to read is all.
COCAINE RUSH AND LETS DO THIS SHIT HELL THE FUCK YEAH!
ponies....
....and a 'stach
Alright, at some points AB is gonna give in....I hope...
I challenge my self to read this
Wow...that's all I'm saying.
2426915
Eat what?
Nothing that would warrant such a phrase has occurred. I would like to add that calling me a rat was uncalled for. As for overcritical I do so dearly wish for the mind of two years ago when I could read anything and call it gold, I blame education.
Yes, this is awesome
and I can't think of more to say but great work!
2425735 Hey, yeah, you're right. I totally didn't see that, she should be cousin Applejack.
I went into this fic thinking it would be another mindless clop. NOPE. This is outstanding! Sure it has some sexual content, but the whole thing isn't focused around clop. I expect more soon!
2424969
Please refer to this reply:
2423338
As for arc, Please back off, he's a long time loyal reader and has never been one to be rude to me.
2425735
dashie.mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/img/mlfw1285_MdxSh.gif
Am i going to have to update the damned description?
Please refer to this post:
2423338
2428968 Um, I still got confused. You should have explained it better in the story. Give a reason Babs calls Applejack "Aunt" in-story. I have a relatively large family myself, and I still call all of my cousins "cousin" (and one of my cousins is about 18 years older than me) in conclusion, I'm confused and I favorited.
2426692
first of all your comment toward this story was pointless and useless, apparently any amount of education you may have had was worthless, if you can't understand writing in all forms you can't be a critic, and if you can't say something useful or with point, then you shouldn't say it, because then you just sound like a spiteful ill read fool
if you have a problem with the story explain what you think is wrong, don't just give useless options
this also refers to this comment
2428597
2428999
Please don't take it as a personal attack, it's just that you're the third person to confuse this. I figured that by the way the apple family wasn't freaking out when she said "Aunt" it should have been obvious.
2429025
All right, there's no need for the passive aggression, mate--I was getting ready to go to work and didn't have time to write a review. I merely wished to express my distaste that the story appeared in the features box. I can be constructive if you so wish, but I lost motivation for reading at the point when we see the letter sent by Babs. I'll do my best though.
The story annoyingly refers to characters with descriptors in lieu of their names. This can create ambiguity regarding who the author is referring to. For Example:
Both Applebloom and Applejack are referred to as "the farm pony", although context tells us who the author is referring to simply using their names would be better form. Not to mention the missing apostrophes and run on sentences.
The accents are poorly written and carried over to the letter. This makes no sense as accents are purely verbal.
Case in point.
I cannot review it further, I don't want to read it.
I don't care if you and others enjoy the story, but I don't. Please don't turn this into an argument.
2429124
I've sat back and watched this little squabble of yours so far and now i've got something to say.
Upon hearing your "more detailed review" as you call it I have come to this conclusion:
You're one of those people who either HATE the use of country accents in a fanfic or are a grammar Nazi from hell.
Either way,
I kindly ask you to not comment any farther on this fic unless you have something constructive to say in regards to my writing beyond your flames "this fic sucks" or that overly large insult that you called "a critic"
2429161
I didn't mean to offend you, although looking back I'm not surprised. I like country accents in written form, I think they are quite fun. And as you can tell from this reply my grammar is quite poor. I think I owe you an apology, I made a comment that was uncalled for because I felt slightly ruffled something that in my opinion was poor quality appeared on the featured list. I only wrote that awful "critique" because I was asked to. In any case, I am sorry that I offended you.
...
NO SUCH THING AS CHRISTMAS IN EQUESTRIA!!! You have just shattered realms beyond imagination.
2429308
And to that, i have this to say:
dl.dropboxusercontent.com/u/59396144/Christmas%20tree.png
2429351 Well just the word Christmas, cause you know... Hearth's warming eve. I would of just called it Hearth tree, cause you know, Christ and stuff.
Mmm... tasty teasy foalcon clop with a cute pair of cousins. I can dig it. Might I recommend using internal monologue in italics though? I did several spit-takes when I though AB's internal monologue was actually external and she'd blabbered something very private out.
Also, I could never have told my friends and their age that someone had a crush on me, even less so with compromising pictures. What are these kids getting up to nowadays...