Metroid Equis
Chapter 34.3
Victory Celebration
[Ponyville Park | One Week After Crater Collapse]
Another gorgeous Thursday had come and gone, paving the way for the evening, and Samus had once again found herself sitting on one of the various benches in Ponyville’s park. The Hunter had been finding herself venturing out of the comfort of the Library more often than not, starting to spend more time outdoors and exploring her surroundings. Things had been settling down much more, allowing for a much more peaceful aura to fall on the small town and quite frankly, Samus more than welcomed it. For the past couple of hours, the Zero Suit clad Hunter was busy working on her tablet, having received the final build-design for her new ship and being afforded one last chance to make any changes she might want. She had been spending the greater part of her time in the park scrutinizing every little detail of arguably her most important asset. The only time she pried her eyes from the tablet’s screen was to take a bite of her tuna sandwich, which she publicly remarked was ‘fucking delicious.’
Samus swiped her hands over the screen, ‘spinning’ the displayed object about ninety degrees in order to get another good look at its specs before grabbing her sandwich and stuffing her face once more. It was about that time that she realized it was dark outside and she was the only one in the park, her eyes having to adjust a tad from the brightness of her tablet’s screen. Giving one last look to the render of her ship, she submitted the confirmation and powered off the device. Samus then stood up, finished the last bite of her food, and tossed any residuals in the trash can before heading back to Twilight’s Library, holding her tablet against her side. One thing she did admire was the view of the night sky… though she had to get used to the fact that it was the result of Luna’s manipulation.
About ten minutes of comfortable walking, Samus reached the front door of the Library, gently turning the knob and letting herself in. Closing the door behind her, she found all six mares talking loudly amongst themselves, setting up drinks on a table on the side of the common room. They all looked up and smiled upon her entrance.
“There you are!” Twilight exclaimed. Apparently they were looking for her.
“Did I miss something?” Samus asked curiously, observing that Pinkie was hanging up streamers and what not. There were several beyond several bottles of what Samus could only assume were alcoholic beverages and a few plates of sweets rested next to them. Rainbow Dash appeared to be getting a speaker-system set up and there was also a distinct lack of Spike.
“Everything has settled down… so tonight is a party for us!” Rainbow Dash added, eager to get things going.
“Ah. Alright, I’ll be in my room if you need me,” Samus replied, moving to her door but stopped when a certain cream-colored pegasus cleared her throat.
“Ummm… Samus you’re included in ‘us,’” Fluttershy shyly pointed out. The others all looked to Samus encouragingly. The Hunter sported a small but touched smile.
“I appreciate the thought girls, really, but I’m actually kinda tired…”
“Yeah, Samus. Stay with us… you of all ponies’ve earned this,” Applejack parroted the other mare’s sentiments.
“Come on, Samus! When’s the last time you really had fun?” Pinkie asked, knowing full well that the blonde-haired girl had not rewarded herself much in her travels. Samus just looked at all six of them staring back at her, not quite sure what to come back with at that point, because they were absolutely right.
“Indeed, Darling, come partake in the festivities with your friends,” Rarity urged.
“Yeah, don’t be lame, Samus. I wanna drink you under the table anyways…” Rainbow Dash invited challengingly, eliciting a giggle from Applejack. Samus, on her part, was touched that all wanted her to be included. Again, she noticed the absence of Spike.
“Where’s Spike?”
“He’s stayin’ the night at the farm with Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo. Mah brother Big Mac is watchin’ them tonight… so it’ll just be us seven,” Applejack answered her question excitedly. Conceding that she did not have anything better to do at the moment, Samus felt she could stay for at least a little bit. She donned a determined half-smirk.
“Oh alright. Lemme just put this away,” Samus agreed, gesturing to her tablet before entering her room. The other six all erupted in their own cheers of success at Samus’s acceptance. The latter returned after a few moments and the last of the drinks were set up for consumption. Shot glasses, scotch glasses, and wine glasses were all lined up and organized; not to mention all the beer and cider bottles under the table.
“Alright,” Twilight began to fill Samus on the details. “After a hard but rewarding adventure, we like to throw ourselves a little night-long party like this. It was Pinkie’s idea the first time and I actually love it. We always start off with a toast,” Twilight finished, Samus nodding in understanding.
“Way ahead of ya’ Twi!” Applejack called out, having finished filling the last of seven shot glasses with a clear liquid. “Soup’s on, everypony!”
All seven moved to the drink table and picked up a shot glass… though Samus was a combination of impressed, weirded out, and confused as to how Pinkie, Applejack, Fluttershy, and Rainbow Dash were able to hold the drinkware with one hoof. Nevertheless, Samus took the last one and examined the liquid inside.
“So, what’re we starting off with?” she asked, swirling it a bit.
“Vodka imported from the Griffon Kingdom!” Rainbow answered enthusiastically, more than ready to get the ball rolling. Samus shrugged in indifference. Vodka was perfectly fine with her.
Glad alcohol seems to be the same here.
“Alright everypony, a toast...” Twilight began, leading the toast. “...to friendship, and the heroic actions of our new friend, Samus!” she toasted, holding her drink high in her magical grasp. Samus lightly chortled at the nice gesture yet raised her glass all the same with her new friends.
My friends…
“To friendship, and Samus!” All seven echoed, though the Hunter did not parrot her own name due to how weird that sounded. They held their drinks high and immediately brought the shot glasses to their lips, downing the liquid in one go. The foreign alcohol slid down Samus’s gullet quite smoothly but she immediately tasted the crisp, telltale aftertaste of genuine vodka, the satisfying burn of her esophagus following quickly.
“Not bad!” Samus commented, nodding her head in approval and placing her glass back on the table.
“AHHH!! That’s good!” Fluttershy unexpectedly growled gratifyingly, nearly slamming the glass on the floor. Rainbow Dash stifled a guffaw with her hoof.
“Oh yeah, Fluttershy is amazing when she drinks, just letting you know, Samus,” Rainbow pointed out, trotting to the speakers to get some music going.
“Let’s get this party STARTED!” Pinkie screamed before joining Rainbow Dash in organizing what was to be played that evening. Samus opted to get herself another shot of that surprisingly good vodka.
[Twenty-five Minutes Later…]
“What’s the craziest thing you’ve seen in your travels?” Twilight asked, she, Samus, and Fluttershy sitting on large pillows while the other four danced to some very poppy, club-esque music. Samus held a gin and tonic in her left hand while Twilight held the same in her hooves. Fluttershy was sipping on flavored vodka.
“In what context, though? For me personally, that’s a very open-ended and vague question,” Samus replied, asking for narrower parameters. She swirled her drink, the ice clinking in the glass before she took another sip. She was two shots in, combined with what she had already drunk of her current drink. Twilight took a large gulp of hers before continuing.
“Alright… what’s the craziest creature you’ve seen to date?”
“Hmmm… that’s a really tough one, honestly; because I’ve seen some shit,” Samus said initially, still trying to find some order on her personal ‘craziness scale.’ “You’ll never believe me when I say this but… I’m gonna have to say ‘Dark Samus.’”
“I’m sorry… what?” Fluttershy asked after finishing off her glass.
“Yeah, what does that even mean?” Twilight pressed, facing herself more towards the casually-sitting human. Samus was really not in the mood to explain the very concept of her contrived alter-ego.
“I really don’t want to get into that discussion because it’ll raise more questions than answers… so later on, just remind me and I’ll let you use my tablet which has my entire archived logbook from my adventures,” Samus offered, and Twilight’s face lit up like a Christmas Tree at the prospect of a new source of information beyond her own world.
“Yes! I’d love that! Thank you, Samus!!” Twilight exclaimed rapidly and enthusiastically. Fluttershy was dragged onto the dance floor by Rainbow Dash and Samus patted the unicorn’s back.
“No worries. Now…” Samus finished off what was left of her third drink. “How about we get a refill?” she asked, standing up. The unicorn reciprocated.
“Definitely! You gotta try this Zebranican tequila. Take a shot with me?” Twilight requested as they both walked to the liquor table with their empty glasses.
“I’m down.”
[Twenty Minutes Later…]
Five total drinks in, Samus was finishing off her sixth in a race with Rainbow Dash. The other five watched intently and encouraged the duo on as the cyan pegasus and interstellar bounty hunter competed for how fast they could chug their respective bottles. It was neck and neck but ultimately Samus won by a fraction of a second when she slammed the empty bottle on the floor in front of her, everypony on large, comfy pillows. The spectators all erupted in laughing cheers.
“Damn Rainbow! She actually beat ya!” Pinkie exclaimed with a giggle, Rainbow having lost by *just* that much. Samus belched lightly but quickly covered her mouth before leaning back with a victorious grin. All had drank a decent amount by this time and as such, were beginning to already be well within the ‘tipsy’ zone. Even Samus’s cheeks were slightly colored from the increased heat afforded by the alcohol, but then again, so were everypony else’s.
“Bleh, you just got lucky,” Rainbow replied pointing her hoof at the Hunter for emphasis, ever the sore loser that everypony loved.
“Ah’m next!” Applejack voiced, wanting a go at drinking with the Hunter competitively. Samus held up her hand.
“Just give me a bit to let the alcohol settle… I’m already pretty tipsy,” Samus admitted, punctuated by an almost involuntary giggle at the ridiculousness of the situation.
“You’re feeling it Samus?” Pinkie confirmed.
“Oh I’m definitely feeling it.”
“That’s just the feeling of friendship warming up your soul,” Fluttershy said jokingly, getting a sensible chuckle out of everyone.
“Actually I think that’s the feeling of four different types of alcohol hitting my system at once,” Samus sarcastically corrected.
“Well, then how about ‘bout we make it five types, partner?” Applejack suggested, offering Samus a nice bottle of cider. Samus stared at the bottle being hoofed to her and she finally shrugged, taking it from the farmer and quickly opening it.
“Loser takes an extra shot!” Twilight shouted bubbly, adding the rule at the last second. Both would-be contestants looked to her and agreed immediately, clinking their bottles together and furiously beginning to chug the alcoholic elixir.
[Thirty Minutes Later...]
About an average of nine drinks in for everypony signaled the level where all had perpetual smiles on their faces accompanied with ‘the giggles.’ Unfortunately for Samus, though, she had lost the round with Applejack which necessitated her downing a shot of vodka for comeuppance. More interestingly, Samus found out that ponies, somehow, were naturally more resistant to the effects of alcohol and thus required more to become inebriated. For her, she was around their level in terms of ‘resistance' due to her modified genetic makeup, as well as the occasionally downing a bottle of whisky in one go during her travels. So for all intents and purposes, everypony was, on average, the same level of ‘drunk.’
The seven found themselves playing a game the mares called ‘Drunk Hoof-Dot,” which was essentially the exact same thing as the human game of ‘Drunk Twister.’ Things were made more interesting when Twilight again amended the rules, requiring sometimes two limb-placements at once. If one ended up ‘falling,’ they had to take a double-shot of gin. Fluttershy, having the least tolerance of them all, offered to be the ‘caller.’ The thing was, was that the ponies, however flexible they might have been, were absolutely no match for Samus even in her inebriated state.
“Okay ummm… right front-hoof blue and left front-hoof red,” Fluttershy called out. Rainbow Dash was easily able to get herself onto the proper positions due to her initial placement… but with Samus’s opposite initial position, it appeared that the move would have been nearly impossible with having to keep her feet on their necessary dots. Only she and Samus were the remaining contenders, the others having lost and taken their drinks.
“There’s no way you’re gonna get that Samus…” Rainbow stated, drunkenly wobbling yet confident in her victory; but, lo and behold, Samus still expertly bent backwards, creating nearly a perfect circle with her arch. Her right hand snaked between her legs and laid comfortably on the blue dot, and she stretched her left hand out in the opposite direction, laying it on red.
“Oh COME ON!” Rainbow Dash exclaimed, exasperated. The others looked on in complete awe.
“Alright now that’s just unfair...” Applejack remarked while Twilight had a hoof to her mouth in surprise. Fluttershy spun the spinner.
“Alright, ummm… left wing green!” she voiced, and Rainbow immediately, though with extreme discomfort, stretched her wing out and pressed a primary feather to the nearest green dot.
“Hah! You don’t have wings so unless you magically get them or use something else, I win automatically!” Rainbow commented, never seeming to learn from Samus’s determination and intuition. She was right though, Samus clearly did not have wings nor could obtain them by magical means. She had to improvise… and improvise she would.
A cocky smirk graced her features when she saw that the nearest green dot was right ‘in front’ of her, relative to the position of her head which was facing the ground. She knew what she could do immediately.
Redistributing some of the work to her abs and quads, Samus bent at the knees, forming almost a perfect table top while never straining her back nor removing her limbs from their required positions. She then bent further into her arch and lowered her trunk. To the absolute disbelief of Rainbow Dash, she touched her left breast to a green spot. Hey, she had two of them and had to improvise, so it was all the same.
One could hear a pin drop at that moment.
“I… I guess that counts…” Fluttershy thought out loud while Pinkie busted out laughing.
“UGH! I’M DONE… gimme the damn drink!” Rainbow acquiesced verbally, having no will to be disappointed anymore. She quickly downed her required alcohol and Samus untangled herself. The latter stabilized herself from the slight vertigo of her movements in conjunction with her inebriated state.
“Okay… now that was fun,” she admitted completely before devolving into a snickering fit. She then joined Twilight, Pinkie, and Rarity with partaking in a glass of wine.
[Thirty Minutes Later...]
Pinkie was in complete hysterics and Fluttershy had absolutely no words as she, Rarity, Applejack, and Rainbow were looking on at the scene with keen interest.
“W-What exactly am I lookin’ at?” Applejack asked out loud.
“...I don’t rightly know, D-Darling,” Rarity echoed similar sentiments, slurring her words yet coherent enough to comprehend the idea of an abomination in front of them.
“And how plastered are they?” Rainbow asked, she herself pretty damn plastered. All eyes were on Samus and Twilight attempting to dance to a rather nice, upbeat and ‘grooving’ song. ‘Attempt’ would be meant in the strongest of cases, as it was not dancing in front of them; it was a visual cacophony of flailing limbs, hip movements, and head bobs. Samus had even let her hair down during some indiscernible time, adding to the chaotic visual.
“I’d never take Samus as terrible a dancer as Twi… I mean, just look at her; look at THEM,” Rainbow gestured, continuing to place emphasis on the situation in front of them. All six of the equally decimated mares had managed to get Samus pissed-drunk enough to dance with them, and once she and Twilight got going, they all immediately had to step aside and just watch… it was like looking at the sun: you knew it hurt to look at but you just couldn’t look away. Samus and Twilight were having an indescribable amount of fun as evident by the variation of smiles adorning their faces, though, not having realized that their friends had spread out.
“Rainbow I’d love to see you pull out yer fancy moves bein’ more shitsloshed than mah uncle the day after his harvest… which you are,” Applejack sarcastically challenged. Rainbow Dash only shrugged.
“Indeed, we ourselves are not in the most right minds, I doubt we’re much better,” Rarity also voiced.
“Meh.”
The bystanders all rejoined their unicorn and human friend on the dance floor and proceeded to show off their drunken moves to the hypnotic beat.
[One Hour Later…]
Crash. That would be the only appropriate word to describe the events leading up to this moment. The seven all danced their drunken little hearts out and wore themselves out entirely. A noticeable quantity of the total alcohol pool had been consumed and as a result, every single pony plus one person was out like a goddamn light in a drunken slumber. Desynchronous snores all sounded throughout the common room, alcohol was spilled and glasses were strewn about… it was the perfect scene of the aftermath of a textbook-successful night.
Twilight was snoring, open-mouthed, on her back with her front hooves folded against her chest. Fluttershy was snuggled up against her side, seeming to be the only individual with any semblance of a normal sleeping position. Samus was face down and on her stomach, peacefully knocked out as a small puddle of drool formed at the edge of her mouth and right arm draped over Twilight’s stomach. Rarity cuddled Samus’s left arm but got a face full of Samus’s long hair. Pinkie was sprawled orthogonally on Samus’s back while Rainbow Dash was laying on her side against the Hunter’s left leg. Applejack cuddled Samus's right leg, her stetson having disappeared somewhere.
It appeared to be the perfect end to a wild, fun night. Even in the morning when Samus would emerge from her slumber with one of the largest hangovers she ever had (to the point of puking), she would concede that it was all worth it… even though she most likely made a complete ass of herself and ended up nearly bedridden with the rest of the girls from the sheer magnitude of the headache.
Absolutely worth it.
Can anyone draw up that "left tit green" winning move scene?
Please
nods head in approval...
wheres the drunk samus emoji?
5826902 nods head in approval to this aswell, Lel.
I notice the "I'm really feeling it!" reference.
I like to imagine Dash's face when she reads about the boost guardian. And the look of Horror if Fluttershy looked at some of the renders in the logbook, although, who knows, she might find Chyyka and Emperor Ing cute.
5827062 *views Dark Samus*
"Aww she's just misunderstood and needs a friend."
"She claws at all life and wanted to kill me and everything else."
"A cry for attention if I ever saw one... She's just misunderstood."
Samus facepalms
5827081
"Have you ever tried walking a bit in her shoes?"
"What, being a Phazon-powered psychopath? I fail to see that happening any time soon."
"That seems a little rash."
"I know, but... It was strange... I felt that it wanted to hurt me in any way... I feel if she was still around, it would try hurting you guys... Or worse."
RD: "Hey Samus, what would you do if we were corrupted? What would you have done if anyone close to you became corrupted?"
Samus pauses.
"I don't know."
):)
5827117 Nah
"I'd put a power beam round in the back of your guys' heads without hesitation."
"Really??"
....
"Samus?"
....
"ANSWER ME SAMUS"
5827123
(Playing through Prime 3, I get where your getting at XD.)
I hope that there's a Valhalla-like chapter in the future, possibly in a sequel. I'd love to see Flutters put in a situation with Metroids running about a deserted ship etc or Dash actually getting scared by something. While Pinkie's already found all the missile upgrades and defeated the metroid hatcher somehow.
Okay, this was hilarious. I'd actually love to see Twilight and the others' reactions to going through the creature logbook and some of the things in it. ...especially when Fluttershy finds so many of them - especially Zoomers - adorable, only to see the statistic "number killed".
I thought that Equestrian alcoholic drinks had a higher alcohol content than their human counterparts? Wasn't there a chapter that had a drinking scene. Where Samus chugs an entire bottle of cider and wakes up with a massive hangover?
5827223 Was.
I retconned it because I didn't like it at all, and it would've ended up conflicting with this particular chapter so far in advance.
5827232 I see. Fair enough
EDIT: with how flexible Samus has to be in order to use the morph ball, it's no surprise she beat RD in Twister. Samus could probably beat a contortionist for Celestia's sake
Well that happened.
fact that the it was?
5827701 whoops. Let me take care of that
Best chapter ever! You, Flammenwerfer, are the best comedian.
5827399 Actually the Morph Ball requires 0 flexibility as it converts her matter into energy along with a few of the less necessary parts of the suit. There's no other way for even just the suit to compact into that small of a space.
5828019 I've never played any of the Metroid games, much less pondered or looked-up the hows of the various mechanics in them. Thanks for the info. The more you know
5826902 Oh HELL yes.
5828019
The Morph Ball itself, perhaps not. However...
Careful viewing of this clip shows that Samus does tuck into a ball-like shape before she gains the Morph Ball ability. Additionally, observation of Samus somersaulting in Zero Mission while deprived of her Varia Suit also demonstrates her flexibility.
e: *shakes FiMFiction* Jump to 2:09 in that clip. FIMFiction's youtube markup disregards embedded timestamps.
~The More You Know~
5828142 I recall hearing that the Maru Mari (morph ball) is basically Chozo tech doing an induced out-of-body experience, by converting the body to energy, originally for meditation purposes--- so in the Prime games, which are otherwise nearly 100% in first person view, the 3rd person views is actually still as Samus actually sees it.
vignette4.wikia.nocookie.net/metroid/images/6/62/Death_Trap.jpg
5828425 Never said she wasn't super dextrous and the like. Just saying that she's not contortionist level flexible like MatPat's Game Theory video attempts to convince people.
I'm not really sure I like this scene. There's not really a problem with characters swearing, but using language in the narrative is typically considered brash and unprofessional.
I agree that Samus would actually be able to handle significantly more alcohol than the average person, but not just because she's used to the stuff. Remember, she was genetically reengineered to metabolize things that would kill a normal human, so I imagine that normal alcohol would be child's play to her.
5828824
Don't forget that Samus has been genetically altered and battle-trained from the age of three. Given the way that Chozo Ghosts fight and the kinds of suit upgrades she gets, the Chozo highly value maneuverability in combat, and she probably would have gotten a lot of contortion training. Furthermore, she crawls at an extraordinary pace in Zero Mission, which is a sign of extreme flexibility.
5829207 I like livening up my commentary a little bit depending on the chapter and genre of the scene. However, I admittedly pushed some boundaries.
In regards to Samus, the genetic infusion was more for her to survive the harsh environment of Zebes as well as what would be expected of her, as per Mother Brain's analysis. I don't recall ever seeing anything specifically related to the metabolism, but I'm sure some effects would have followed. Likewise, I'd expect her to have drank a fair amount in her travels, though, that's up to personal interpretation, of course. Moreover, I stopped 'counting' their drinks as the scene went on, so it's perfectly up to the reader's interpretation as to how much Samus would have to drink to get sloshed.
5829460
I'm not criticizing her drunkenness, I'm just stating that her genetic modifications probably makes all of her a little more robust than the average human. If I recall correctly, part of the problem with Zebes was that the atmosphere had some elements in it that were poisonous to humans, and her infusions allowed her body to process them. I assume that if the breathing part of her metabolism was altered, then so would the eating and drinking part, as they're all far more connected than one might first think.
I could definitely see her as a drinker. After all, she's seen some shit.
5829642 Oh don't worry I know you weren't. And I fully agree! Technically, Samus isn't 100% human after all, she's a Human-Chozo hybrid which I stated maybe once or twice throughout the story... on a side note I should probably emphasize that more.
I could see her garnering a bit more resistance from alcohol, let alone other metabolic effects, but exactly how much is probably left up to interpretation. She's certainly not a superhuman, though. You do hammer a good point home though, and I'll add a few words on that idea.
See??? Samus cuddles with ponies! And everypony is lucky Samus didn't get drunk enough to equip her suit and use the arm cannon. Bust Samus wins at Twister!!!!
Hmm, I wonder if she'll have a six star hangover or only a five...
Uhm... question...
In the "sleeping snuggle pile" at the end... you forgot Applejack :(
5830766 Fack.
Well, now I didn't
5831132
Hehe, thought you should know :D
5831311 Good catch though. Thank you
5831336
Hehe, no prob - I actually had to re-read that section just to be sure I wasn't missing it :) Love how you added her in - like a big puppy!
Is it even possible to snore while prone?
5847422 Based on the genetic bird mutation from Chozo DNA in Samus, I'd say... maybe?
5846331 This train will be leaving and arriving constantly! Miss one? The next one will appear within the next minute and a half! ALL ABOARD!!!
5858126 Is it even pissible to snore while bird?
Now I have a mental scene of Samus and Dash one crowing in her sleep and the other whinnying. And everypony else lying awake with bloodshot eyes.
5871542 Then why doesn't Samus have her own personal cloaking device? That was what I meant.
5871897 She does not have any passive cloaking or active camouflage for whatever reason. Canonically, it would probably be because the games would be too damn easy. I'd guess that her suit would need a new cloaking module or take power from her suit's energy shields if she was to have such camouflaging abilities.
5828425
5827399
Most estimates place the morph ball at just shy of a meter or so in diameter. Granted we don't know how thick it is, but most grown adults can curl up smaller than that in a fetal position, even if they're not that flexible. Like, the chair you're sitting on right now while reading this is probably quite a bit smaller than a meter. Samus is probably unusually flexible due to her line of work, and who knows what weird stuff the suit does -- but even if it didn't, it's not a tall order to stuff herself into that space.
Note, however, that Space Pirates are both taller and spindlier, and their spinal column might be over a meter long. So it's understandable how vapor-for-brains got a bit maimed in the process.
5881225
I'd say that Samus' armor, despite that it's jointed and not thick like plate armor, would still prevent her from tucking as tightly as her body is capable of.
Also I loved that log entry.
e: Turns out there were four vapor-for-brains, and they were test subjects. The log entry also indicates they were "horribly broken and twisted," which seems to deny that it's just a simple matter of tucking into a ball. Unless Space Pirates really are stupidly inflexible.
5881315
See, that would be a more compelling argument. If your armor doesn't bend that way, then things can get ugly when something tries to make it.
5881771
I'd say that Space Pirate technology actually does try to roll the pirates into balls, as opposed to Samus' technology which actually transforms her into energy, at least according to the Metroid Prime visualization.
This would explain why the Space Pirates get rekt so hard.
Faved already, I know I'll like it!
Samus had a flashback of GFC training academy, which she didn't even get why she was there. Just because aliens gave her an incredibly powerful armor and weapons system beyond human comprehension doesn't mean they can make her take more combat raining.
That's what was running through her head as she laughed maniacally; her drill instructor's hover car continued to burn and smolder shortly after it had exploded. The anti tank mine she rigged to blow had gone of perfectly. Samus lifted her night vision goggles to see her fellow recruits staring at her worriedly form their rooftop perch overlooking the vehicle garage.
Samus threw her hands up. "What? You guys asked me what I thought would be fun?"
Her comrades continued to star dumbly, some with jaws wide open. Fire suppression trucks rolled into the scene bellow.
"Jeez, It's not like he was in the car--"
Samus was cut off by a young rookie sharpshooter. "That, was AWESOME! I wanna be as awesome as you someday!"
And that was how Samus Aran got sent to demolitions and heavy weapons training. Because being able to sneak into the explosives depot, reprogram a mine to detect an autopilot recall command and contain the blast to a single target was apprently hard for other people? That and the GFC had to stop the trend of recruits blowing up stuff for initiations.
Back in the present...
"Ummm, my brand of fun might not be good for you girls." She said.
"Pfft! That's probably becasue it was boring compared to a party like this," Rainbow remarked.
"Yeah, we'll go with that." It totally isn't because recruits are still blowing things up in my name.
Anyway, this scene immediately popped into my head and I had to write it out.
5964109 *cackles* Pinkie: "That's my brand of fun!"
5829872 kek. xD
My vote goes to the Nightmare. ...The one that screws with gravity, not Luna's alter ego.
5964109 headcanon confirmed.
Department of Redundancy Department called!