Follow-up story to "Sweat". You and Rarity have been seeing each other for a little while, and life's pretty good. But when Pinkie Pie mentions one day that something is bothering her, Rarity gets an idea that just may help.
2754504 I have no idea. I expected this chapter to at least bring the story back up to the popular list if nothing else, considering it has sort of almost twice the number of faves as thumbs up, but no dice. Granted, not everyone can be online all the time. Perhaps it's because it was on a Thursday? I dunno. Sweat came out on a Wednesday and hit the top of the featured box the next morning and stayed in the box for about 5 days, got over 4k initial hits, but a) it's a 1-shot b) new stories stay on that list longer anyway. Either way, tis a bit puzzling. 2755091 Yes. Yes you may.
Men Pinkie practically wrote the kamasutra, so much for innocent fun, but I can't wait to see, what happen next, she may be wild but this dude, seems that has a animal inside as well, things are going to get hot I can feel it.
Well.......that was unexpected. I think Pinkie needs to.....calm down for a little while and stop being a......cum bucket. She might find somepony then.
I was kind of taken off guard by the fact that Pinkie Pie was such a...hmm, what word can I use to make this sound tasteful...harlot? No... Tart? No... Tramp? Yeah, I like that one. Yeah, it was a bit strange to see Pinkie be a tramp, but it's obvious she can't find love because there's no commitment, she's just having a lot of one-night-stands. Maybe if she cut back on all the different sexual partners, she might find what she's looking for. But the story is called "Paint the Town Pink," so I doubt that's going to happen. Although I'm surprised Pinkie hasn't suffered any repercussions from her numerous sexual partners...
Chapter 2! We’ve got the mare of focus playing a part, here, let’s see how she performs!
… “while your drag your feet” – The first ‘your’ should be ‘you’. … “planner standing over” – Place a comma between ‘planner’ and ‘standing’. … “Whatever it is, in a place like, special” – “in a place like” what? … “carnivorous species like yours” – Actually, it’s ‘omnivorous’. … “legs wrap around your neck” – Consider replacing ‘legs’ with ‘forelegs’. … “each others' ears” – ‘others’’ should be ‘other’s’. … “you sit down Indian style” - Okay. One, if you must call it that, place a hyphen between ‘Indian’ and ‘style’. Otherwise, I think you mean ‘cross-legged’. … “didn't want say” – Place ‘to’ between ‘want’ and ‘say’. … “girlfriend will never admit” – Since it’s meant to be past-tense, ‘will’ should be ‘would’. … “"So, like, who all have you been with?"” – Please rephrase this, specifically the ‘all’. … “just about the head out” – ‘the’ should be ‘to’. … “a down side really” – ‘down’ and ‘side’ should be one word: ‘downside’.
Pinkie seemed to really be in-character for the most part, and you had a good handle on her character traits, particularly her rambling, though it seemed to have plenty of pauses in it as opposed to the usual format, where she tends to pretty much combine everything into one massive sentence. Nevertheless, I could easily picture Pinkie’s role in this story. Wonderfully done.
Her promiscuity certainly took me by surprise, though. While it didn’t seem to be a proper character trait at FIRST (given character familiarity), you put a nice twist on it to make it believable. I can respect how you not only integrated the idea into her character, but also as a means of advancing the plot. It FEELS relevant, and that helps immerse the reader all the more.
I liked the curiosity of the protagonist, though I wasn’t quite a fan of Rarity in this one. She was in-character, yes, but she didn’t seem all that memorable in this chapter. Then again, she was competing for screen time with Pinkie, who’s the focus of this chapter, so I suppose that only makes sense.
A great chapter with some interesting plot-advancement, though NOW we just need to see where it leads to. I sure hope you’re good with directions, ‘cause you’ll be our guide with this story.
Damn for some reason she sounds like a hypetactive sex slut that secretly wants to have a boyfriend and maybe settle down or something but can't find one.
That's pretty sad...come to think of it she worked in a rock didn't see...that makes it even sadder.
"How do you think I'm able to stay friends with so many ponies so well?" Pinkie responds with a friendly jab at your girlfriend's shoulder.
*Sigh*
Was this really necessary? For a story that seemed focused on portraying the characters correctly and which had pretty good characterization, this over-the-top kind of parody like addition just doesn't even slightly fit. Yeah, because obviously it wasn't Pinkie's incredible personality and sweet demeanor that helped her be friends with everyone. Nope, obviously it was due to her sleeping with anything containing a pulse.
What's the point of making a sequel with Pinkie if you're going to just toss out pretty much everything unique about her almost immediately after introducing her? It just seems like such a waste in what was otherwise a good story.
9532139 Well, it does make some sense if you think about it. She needs some way to gather information, and to stay in everypony's good graces... Why not sex? And I'm sure Pinkie is darn good at it, too. I saw this other story (part of the Single Point of Failure universe) where she does some of that for her friends just because it's a nice thing, while not really getting much of anything out of it...
Also, "town tramp" or not, I'm kind of suprised nopony noticed that there might be a layer hidden underneath all that. People that tend to do that either really love sex, or...
Another good chapter, keep it up!
yes! YES! MORE!
Now to play the waiting game! My favorite game I even wait to play!
Great chapter!
But there's one thing that keeps me guessing...
240+ likes, 2000+ views but only 25 comments? Weird.
2754504
I guess you could say that if there was 25 comments then that'd be a bit...
(•_•)
( •_•)>⌐■-■
(⌐■_■)
ODD?
YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaahhh.....I'm so sorry
I can almost SEE the plot snowball beginning to roll.
I know where this is going, and I most wholeheartedly approve.
iambrony.jsmart.web.id/mlp/gif/Excited_Lyra_Jumping2.gif?1318150330
Please, sir, can we have some more? x3
2754504
I have no idea. I expected this chapter to at least bring the story back up to the popular list if nothing else, considering it has sort of almost twice the number of faves as thumbs up, but no dice. Granted, not everyone can be online all the time. Perhaps it's because it was on a Thursday? I dunno. Sweat came out on a Wednesday and hit the top of the featured box the next morning and stayed in the box for about 5 days, got over 4k initial hits, but a) it's a 1-shot b) new stories stay on that list longer anyway. Either way, tis a bit puzzling.
2755091
Yes. Yes you may.
2755291
denver.mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/img/mlfw1108_32701-artistphysicallypossiblecaptionfluttershyhappyyesh_this_pleases_mehyou_shall_be_spared_.jpg
so pinkie is basically the ponyville ho? I anticipate a epic three-way of diamonds and balloons.
Men Pinkie practically wrote the kamasutra, so much for innocent fun, but I can't wait to see, what happen next, she may be wild but this dude, seems that has a animal inside as well, things are going to get hot I can feel it.
Eh I was shy but good here
Omg you made the sweet, bubbly Pinkie Pie the town whore. Don't know how I feel about that.
Wait..........the title of the story.....
images4.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20130405221913/mlp/images/e/e1/FANMADE_Luna_I_see_what_you_did_there.jpg
Operation: Make Pinkie Happy Fun Times is a go!
2761758
What? Pinkie likes sex and isn't ashamed of it. It's just a pity she's never found anyone she likes for more than that.
Well.......that was unexpected. I think Pinkie needs to.....calm down for a little while and stop being a......cum bucket. She might find somepony then.
I was kind of taken off guard by the fact that Pinkie Pie was such a...hmm, what word can I use to make this sound tasteful...harlot? No... Tart? No... Tramp? Yeah, I like that one. Yeah, it was a bit strange to see Pinkie be a tramp, but it's obvious she can't find love because there's no commitment, she's just having a lot of one-night-stands. Maybe if she cut back on all the different sexual partners, she might find what she's looking for. But the story is called "Paint the Town Pink," so I doubt that's going to happen. Although I'm surprised Pinkie hasn't suffered any repercussions from her numerous sexual partners...
2790518
Mere STD's are no match for Pinkie Pie. She is an eldritch horror given physical form, though fortunately a rather friendly eldritch horror.
I'LL LOVE YOU PINKIE PIE
Chapter 2! We’ve got the mare of focus playing a part, here, let’s see how she performs!
… “while your drag your feet” – The first ‘your’ should be ‘you’.
… “planner standing over” – Place a comma between ‘planner’ and ‘standing’.
… “Whatever it is, in a place like, special” – “in a place like” what?
… “carnivorous species like yours” – Actually, it’s ‘omnivorous’.
… “legs wrap around your neck” – Consider replacing ‘legs’ with ‘forelegs’.
… “each others' ears” – ‘others’’ should be ‘other’s’.
… “you sit down Indian style” - Okay. One, if you must call it that, place a hyphen between ‘Indian’ and ‘style’. Otherwise, I think you mean ‘cross-legged’.
… “didn't want say” – Place ‘to’ between ‘want’ and ‘say’.
… “girlfriend will never admit” – Since it’s meant to be past-tense, ‘will’ should be ‘would’.
… “"So, like, who all have you been with?"” – Please rephrase this, specifically the ‘all’.
… “just about the head out” – ‘the’ should be ‘to’.
… “a down side really” – ‘down’ and ‘side’ should be one word: ‘downside’.
Pinkie seemed to really be in-character for the most part, and you had a good handle on her character traits, particularly her rambling, though it seemed to have plenty of pauses in it as opposed to the usual format, where she tends to pretty much combine everything into one massive sentence. Nevertheless, I could easily picture Pinkie’s role in this story. Wonderfully done.
Her promiscuity certainly took me by surprise, though. While it didn’t seem to be a proper character trait at FIRST (given character familiarity), you put a nice twist on it to make it believable. I can respect how you not only integrated the idea into her character, but also as a means of advancing the plot. It FEELS relevant, and that helps immerse the reader all the more.
I liked the curiosity of the protagonist, though I wasn’t quite a fan of Rarity in this one. She was in-character, yes, but she didn’t seem all that memorable in this chapter. Then again, she was competing for screen time with Pinkie, who’s the focus of this chapter, so I suppose that only makes sense.
A great chapter with some interesting plot-advancement, though NOW we just need to see where it leads to. I sure hope you’re good with directions, ‘cause you’ll be our guide with this story.
Jelly Pony x Pinkie shipping is a-go!
Pinkie has no special somepony that's heartbreaking!
Fun Fact: Horses can and will eat meat if given the chance but most are not sure how it affects them. The more you know I guess
Fun Fact: Horses can and will eat meat if given the chance but most are not sure how it affects them. The more you know I guess
Damn for some reason she sounds like a hypetactive sex slut that secretly wants to have a boyfriend and maybe settle down or something but can't find one.
That's pretty sad...come to think of it she worked in a rock didn't see...that makes it even sadder.
*Sigh*
Was this really necessary? For a story that seemed focused on portraying the characters correctly and which had pretty good characterization, this over-the-top kind of parody like addition just doesn't even slightly fit. Yeah, because obviously it wasn't Pinkie's incredible personality and sweet demeanor that helped her be friends with everyone. Nope, obviously it was due to her sleeping with anything containing a pulse.
What's the point of making a sequel with Pinkie if you're going to just toss out pretty much everything unique about her almost immediately after introducing her? It just seems like such a waste in what was otherwise a good story.
Wow, Pinkie, wasn't expecting that DX
Nice chapter.
I wouldn't have imagined Pinkie Pie to be the town tramp. Not sure how to feel about that.
9532139
Well, it does make some sense if you think about it. She needs some way to gather information, and to stay in everypony's good graces... Why not sex? And I'm sure Pinkie is darn good at it, too. I saw this other story (part of the Single Point of Failure universe) where she does some of that for her friends just because it's a nice thing, while not really getting much of anything out of it...
Also, "town tramp" or not, I'm kind of suprised nopony noticed that there might be a layer hidden underneath all that. People that tend to do that either really love sex, or...