If you ask anypony that what decision that they regretted, they would most probably tell you their stories, most of the time their stories are miserable, some are heartbreaking while some are humorous. You'd never know how many twisted stories everypony has in their hearts to share. Some stories must be told, while some are compulsory to remain a secret for the rest of their lives while some are just way too embarrasing to be revealed.
But mine was not like the others.
My story of being a bully was truly unimaginably crazy.
It was all thanks to that wrong choice that I made....
Okay guys I know this story is rushed, so maybe I can do a squeal to make up for that. I need time, of course. School is part of our lives after all.
Chapters (1)
Hm.. Time to turn on my critique persona!
As far as grammar and spelling go, I see no problem. My main complaint is that the story seemed... rushed. I mean, you can't take the past of a known character and sum it up into 1070 words. It seemed You might as well have just typed.
"Silver Spoon was nice until she met Diamond Tiara."
Anyway, this is all I've got. Try working on your pacing a bit. This is all friendly critisism, no harsh thoughts. I would suggest trying to find a prereader/editor.
All in all, the story was a good idea, but it wasn't executed right. Best of luck to your other stories!
Edit: Forgot a word.
This needs more chapters.
2262009 Hmm... maybe I can do a squeal. If I find the time to do and i need ideas! The squeal maybe could be about the Cutie mark crusaders realising Silverspoon's past and difficulties, and try to help her turn good again.
Ohh that story's gonna be a little "derpy"...
P.S : It's okay if you don't understand what I mean about "Derpy", I don't either.
2261443 Thanks for the advice. I find the story a little rushed too, as I wrote this story past bedtime hours....
Okay. 'Shy, take it away.
Thank you, Fluttershy.
Now this fic has potential. A bunch of it. But it's hidden, see? What you have to do is expand it to showcase ALL your ideas without crushing them. I get the strange impression that you were bored at the end. If so, you probably should have taken a break instead of continuing at that time. Still, I will most certainly say that I have definitely seen... Worse. A lot worse.
That fact that you have an interesting premise is enough to make me see you as a good writer. Very good, even. You just need to clean up. I would recommend an editor. With one, you could propel this story to the greatness it might deserve!
-SuperChaosKG